Chapter Twenty
Speechless, shocked, disgusted, hurt, pissed; no, none of those words could truly describe the emotions circling through Doreen’s head as she watched her husband thrusting, moaning, and groaning on top of a woman who was expressing the same sentiments in return. Everything was like HD. Although Doreen was quite a few feet away from the scene, it appeared to be so up close and personal. It was so in her face. It was as though her eyes were camera lenses and had zoomed in, capturing a close-up shot. The upper body of Willie was drenched in sweat as his lower half was covered with a motel sheet. The sweat droplets were magnified as they rolled down his back. The movements his lower body displayed were so gentle and choreographed. So tender.
Her mind couldn’t help but wander back to their own lovemaking sessions. For the life of her, Doreen couldn’t recall him ever being that gentle and tender with her.
“Oh, baby.”
The moan from the female up under Willie immediately brought Doreen’s thoughts back to the present. She stood there, longer than she could explain why, watching her husband make love to another woman. They hadn’t a clue she was even in the room. Perhaps they would have heard her enter had they not been so loud in expressing their pleasure with each other.
“What you gon’do?”
Doreen looked over her shoulder for the voice that had just relayed that question to her. It was the voice of Mrs. Tucker. Doreen had heard it so clearly in her head, as if her mother-in-law was standing right there. Doreen pictured that she was. With a glass of liquor in one hand, Doreen envisioned her posing the question once again. “Well, gal, what you gon’ do? You got your answers.” The Mrs. Tucker that was only visible in Doreen’s mind right now looked over at Willie and the woman making love. She chuckled. “Heck, and now it ain’t just hearsay. You see it with your own two eyes. So what you gon’ do? Cut the fool and end up looking like a fool when next week you still living with Willie and the week after that he’ll have some other woman up in here? And the cycle will repeat itself over and over again, just like it did with me and his daddy.” Mrs. Tucker laughed again. “You young girls crack me up always looking for answers—like that’s going to change anything. Ha.” She took a sip of her drink and continued with a wicked laugh that echoed throughout Doreen’s head.
Doreen stood in the motel doorway covering her ears with her hands. She began shaking her head as tears formed in her eyes. She was protecting her ears from the truth Mrs. Tucker’s voice was speaking inside her head. Why had she bothered? Why should she even bother doing anything about it now? After all is said and done, she’s going to end up being the one looking stupid. Passing women up in grocery stores that have been with her man. Having to endure those snide looks on their faces, reminding Doreen that they’d been with her husband and could be with him again if they wanted. If in her heart she knew she wasn’t going to leave Willie for his unfaithful actions and sins, then she might as well leave that motel room right now and save herself the drama.
Slowly Doreen began backing out of the motel room.
“You don’t care about me and your other sisters, do you?”
Doreen stopped in her tracks. It was as if she’d physically bumped into Sarina. And now, instead of Doreen visualizing her mother-in-law standing behind her, it was her little sister. She could hear the words from her sister inside her head scolding her.
“You just gon’ keep taking it and taking it and taking it, huh?” Sarina’s eyes spilled with tears. “Is this how you are going to pay back Mama and Daddy for all the years of them bringing you up to be a good Christian girl? Is this the example you want to set for me and the girls? How many generations of us Hamilton women are going to have to endure this same thing because you set a pattern? How many generations will be cursed?” Sarina looked over at Willie and the woman he was cheating with. “You just gon’ walk away and do nothing but pretend to be the perfect little wife and the perfect little Christian.” Sarina shook her head. “What you gon’ do, Reen?”
“Nothing. She ain’t gon’ do a dang on thing.” Now the vision of Mrs. Tucker was back. She took another sip of her drink and laughed.
“Baby, baby,” the woman underneath Willie moaned again, almost in a panic.
“I’m sorry. Was I being too rough?” Willie asked, slowing down his pace.
At that moment, in Doreen’s ears she could hear Willie and his mistress talking. In her head she could hear her mother-in-law and her sister. There were too many voices. She couldn’t take it. Too many voices.
“Baby,” the mistress said.
“Is that better? Does that feel good to you?” Willie murmured.
“She ain’t gon’ do nothing,” Mrs. Tucker said.
“Do something, Reen,” Sarina urged.
“Nooooooooo,” Doreen yelled out. “Nooooooooo!!!!”
“Doreen!” That was Willie, shocked as all get-out to look over his shoulder and see his wife screaming, crying, and covering her ears in the doorway. “My God, what are you doing here?” Doreen didn’t reply; then moments later, she heard Willie asking, “My God, what are you doing?” Still Doreen didn’t reply. She didn’t know how much time passed after that, but the next question Willie posed to her was, “My God, Doreen, what have you done?”
As far as Doreen knew, she’d been standing in the doorway the entire time. She hadn’t moved a muscle. But when she looked down at the sheet she held clinched in her fist, she knew that wasn’t the case. She looked up at Willie for answers as to how the sheet had gotten into her hands, but he just stood there looking horrified at his wife. Next, Doreen turned her attention to the place where she had more than likely gotten the sheet—at the bed.
Upon seeing blood—blood everywhere—she had no choice but to pose the same question to herself that Willie just had: “My God, what have I done?”