11

Emotions

Varied and powerful emotions characterize both the prophetic and DMT states. While some differences exist between the two, there are many more areas of overlap.

AWE, FEAR, AND REVERENCE

These three terms encompass a broad spectrum of related feelings. Supporting the notion of their kindred nature, the same three-letter Hebrew root Y-R-A forms the basis for all three of these words when they appear in English translations of the Hebrew Bible. While the context determines the exact meaning, in cases of doubt, my default definition is “awe” because it appears most inclusive. My dictionary defines awe as “reverential fear” or “dread mingled with veneration.” Fear and reverence each captures only one end of a particular spectrum, whereas awe integrates them both into a more all-encompassing term.

DMT

Andrea was a mother, wife, and software developer. Thirty-three years old when she volunteered for the study, she was facing some difficult life decisions. During the first several moments of the DMT effect, she screamed: No! No! No! She later explained: I was afraid. I was totally unprepared and startled and scared (DMT, 255).

Brenda was a forty-two-year-old science writer, a mother of three, and married to Kevin, another volunteer. Regarding her first several DMT sessions, she remarked: The colors were aggressive, terrifying; I felt as if they would consume me. . . . I was terrified (DMT, 212).

Ken said, in response to his crocodilian rape vision: It’s the most scared I’ve ever been in my life (DMT, 152).

Sean, who in addition to his medical training received his undergraduate degree in religious studies, was perhaps more attuned to the nuances of the various emotional qualities of the state: It was the awe and fear of God (DMT, 243).

PROPHECY

The Book of Job consists nearly entirely of dialogue, most of which occurs between Job and his four friends, one of whom describes: When thoughts are filled with nocturnal visions . . . fear came upon me (Job 4:13–14).

Fear and awe may mingle in prophecy, too. As Jacob flees the wrath of his brother, Esau, after stealing the latter’s blessing from their father Isaac, he dreams a prophetic dream and upon awakening: became frightened and said, “How awesome is this place” (Gen. 28:17).

During Ezekiel’s initiatory vision he beholds an intricate mélange of wheels, globes, and angels. The prophet describes the wheel-like Ofanim*66 : And there was height to them and awe to them (Ezek. 1:18).

Daniel describes one of the creatures in his vision of four beasts: I was watching in night visions, and behold, a fourth beast excessively terrifying, awesome, and strong (Dan. 7:7).

We read about the “witch”†67 of Endor, whom King Saul commissions to raise the ghost of the prophet Samuel. Saul is unable to prophesy and needs advice from his late teacher. When the diviner raises Samuel’s spirit, her reaction is similar to Andrea’s: The woman saw Samuel, and she screamed in a loud voice (1 Sam. 28:12).‡68

David succeeds Saul as the second king of Israel. One of his goals is to house the ark containing the stone tablets upon which God had inscribed the Ten Commandments. He comes to its temporary housing to pay obeisance: But [he] could not go before it to seek God, for he was terrified of the sword of the angel of YHVH (1 Chron. 21:30).

Samson is a Hebrew warrior whose uncut hair provides him extraordinary strength, the secret of which his mistress Delilah tricks him into divulging. She cuts off his hair in order to deliver him to her comrades, enemies of Israel, and they put him to death. An angel predicts his prophetic stature to his parents even before his mother becomes pregnant. His soon-to-be mother describes the angel to her husband: His appearance was like the appearance of an angel of God, very awesome (Judg. 13:6).

SAFETY, REASSURANCE, AND PEACE

At the other end of the spectrum, someone in the DMT or prophetic state may feel great security and comfort.

DMT

Chris was thirty-five years old when he joined the research project, married, a computer salesman, and a part-time actor. He described how well he felt during the experience: Probably the most reassuring thing of my life (DMT, 191).

Rex was a journeyman carpenter and forty years old when he volunteered. During our preliminary studies with psilocybin, he asked me to look at a lesion on his shin, an ominous mole that a dermatologist immediately diagnosed as melanoma. While this precluded any further participation in our research, we stayed in touch until his tragic death several years later. Rex and Brenda provided two of the most detailed accounts of the otherworldly nature of the DMT state.1 During one session, a being helped guide him through the novel terrain: When I was with her I had a deep feeling of relaxation and tranquility (DMT, 209).

Carlos was one of our few non-Anglo volunteers, a Hispanic Amerindian who owned a software business and also led an urban shamanism group. He was forty-four years old when he joined the DMT study. He commented on the beings’ (unsuccessful) attempt to soothe him: They wanted to try and reduce my anxiety so we could relate (DMT, 190).

PROPHECY

In addition to the physical weakness and confusion Daniel often feels, he’s frequently frightened, too. His angelic guide calms him by saying: Fear not. . . . Peace to you (Dan. 10:19).

Gideon is one of the judges of Israel who periodically assume leadership of the Hebrew tribes’ loose confederation during times of national crisis before the establishment of the monarchy. He lived in the twelfth-century BCE Northern Kingdom. Gideon’s encounter with an angel causes him to fear for his life. God reassures him: Peace be to you; fear not; you shall not die (Judg. 6:23).

After Moses gains God’s pardon for the Hebrews’ making the Golden Calf, he asks God to reveal Himself to him. God begins His response with: My presence will go and provide you rest (Exod. 33:14).

EUPHORIA, JOY, AND HAPPINESS

These feelings are rare in the prophetic state but relatively common in the DMT one, especially after resolution of any distress associated with the tumultuous onset.

DMT

After passing through the anxiety of the DMT rush, intensely powerful positive feelings usually followed. Cleo was a forty-year-old therapist and masseuse who was legally blind. She underwent an experience with more mystical-unitive properties than most of our volunteers. Here she commented on the emotional quality of her session: The euphoria goes on to eternity (DMT, 230).

Leo also noted: The ecstasy was so great that my body could not contain it (DMT, 344).

The beings themselves may express their own happiness. Brenda noted: They were glad to see me (DMT, 214).

She also described something that one never encounters in the prophetic record: beings eliciting laughter. She reported: I “ flew” on and saw clowns performing. They were like toys, or animated clowns. . . . I laughed out loud watching those clowns (DMT, 213).

PROPHECY

The Book of Psalms contains 150 poems to God or about God (or both). David composed many of them, while others also contributed to the collection. On Maimonides’ scale of prophetic excellence, David’s level of prophecy ranks at the lowest rung; that is, experiencing an impulse to do or teach something great to a large number of people. Therefore it is of interest to note that in Psalms we find the greatest number of references to feeling joyful in a relationship with God. In other words, joy is not necessarily a sign of high prophetic attainment. Correspondingly, I have rarely found a canonical or other high-ranking prophet describe joy as an explicit element of their experience.

As an example of David’s joy, he writes: I have set YHVH before me always. . . . For this reason my heart rejoices and my soul is elated (Ps. 16:8–9).

Prayer for David is also joyful: My heart and my flesh sing joyfully to the living God (Ps. 84:2).

This excerpt from Jeremiah, generally the most melancholic of the canonical prophets, is one of the few I could locate in which it appears his actual prophetic state is joyful. When asking God to explain why his comrades treat him so poorly, even threatening to kill him, he notes how God’s reply affects him: Your words come and I eat them, for me Your word was the joy and gladness of my heart (Jer. 15:16).

GRIEF, SORROW, AND DESPAIR

These feelings are rare in the DMT state but relatively common in the prophetic one. This allows us the opportunity to distinguish between the intrinsic emotional properties of the two states and the emotional responses to each state’s message. Much of the prophetic message, at least with respect to the canonical prophets, concerns the destruction and exile of the Israelite nation because of their errant beliefs and behavior. The DMT experiences our volunteers underwent usually conveyed much less dire information.

DMT

Cassandra’s comment followed a session in which she felt a tremendous unburdening of emotional trauma. Even in this case, it’s not clear she was feeling sorrow when crying: These aren’t sad tears, they are tears of enlightenment (DMT, 172).

While Leo didn’t describe the end of his DMT session as grievous or despairing, it is not difficult to read between the lines: I was dimly aware of an encroaching darkness. Were there flames, smoke, dust, battling troops, enormous suffering? (DMT, 345).

PROPHECY

Responding to God’s forecast of the tragic fate of the kings of Judah, Jeremiah laments: For the wound of the daughter of my people, I am wounded; I am blackened, desolation has grasped me (Jer. 8:21).

Isaiah is disconsolate after learning of Jerusalem’s imminent downfall: Leave me alone; I will weep bitterly. Do not insist on comforting me for the calamity of my people (Isa. 22:4–5).

LOVE AND COMPASSION

Similar to the experience of joy, descriptions of feeling love in the prophetic state are relatively rare compared to the DMT one.

DMT

Volunteers felt a sense of love suffuse the DMT experience and even shared that love with the beings.

One of the first things Philip said as he emerged from the DMT world: I love. I love (DMT, 14).

Rex described his reaction to seeing a beehivelike futuristic world: I decided it must be a wonderful thing to live in a loving and sensual environment such as that (DMT, 210).

Elena, a thirty-nine-year-old psychotherapist, was married to another volunteer, Karl. She commented after a particularly eventful high-dose session: The great power sought to fill all possibilities. It was “amoral,” but it was love, and it just was (DMT, 240).

Cassandra attributed, at least in part, her emotional healing to the beings: I was loved by the entities or whatever they are (DMT, 173).

A webpage designer and yoga practitioner, Dmitri was twenty-six years old when he joined our study, and also was Heather’s partner. He described his encounter with the beings: I was filled with feelings of love for them (DMT, 197).

PROPHECY

Most biblical verses that address love refer to instructions for how to relate to God. For example, a verse in the Hebrew Bible that occurs in the holiest prayer of the Jewish liturgy, the Shema,*69 advises: You shall love YHVH, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might (Deut. 6:5).

One of the only cases I could find of a being loving someone in the prophetic state itself occurs in Daniel, when an angel tells him: Fear not, greatly beloved†70man (Dan. 10:19).

ANGER, HATRED, AND BITTERNESS

These feelings occurred rarely in the DMT state, and when they did, it was in response to certain phenomenological properties of the state itself; for example, physical discomfort. In the prophetic state, on the other hand, these emotions relate to the prophetic message one receives.

DMT

Carlos said about the physical shakiness he felt at the end of nearly every drug session: I hate this part (DMT, 228).

Ida referred to her altered body image: I hated it (DMT, 250).

PROPHECY

God tells Ezekiel to speak to the recalcitrant Israelite exiles and immediately afterward we read: Then a wind lifted me and took me, and I went in bitterness in the anger of my spirit (Ezek. 3:14).

Here, God charges Ezekiel with specific feelings: Now you, son of man, groan with breaking loins and with bitterness, groan in their sight (Ezek. 21:11).

Jeremiah describes how God’s foretelling Israel’s destruction affects him: Therefore, I am full of the fury of YHVH; I am weary of containing it (Jer. 6:11).

HUMILIATION

Humiliation is a rare phenomenon and seems to occur only in relation to a being.

DMT

Don, a waiter at a high-end local restaurant and a poet, was thirty-six years old when he began the DMT study. He described a “bubble” that communicated with him in the DMT state, derogating him: We’re not going to be mean, but you’re a putz.

PROPHECY

The king of Babylonia expresses a similar reduction in self-esteem when Daniel interprets a dream for him in which: a voice fell from heaven [and said to him], . . . “We are driving you from mankind, and your dwelling will be with the beasts of the field” (Dan. 4:28–29).

ISOLATION

In the Hebrew Bible, this feeling is related to the social and psychological consequences of the prophetic message, whereas in the DMT state, it is more an intrinsic property of the experience.

DMT

Brenda described: I felt abandoned. I’m completely and totally lost. I have never been so alone (DMT, 212).

Roland was a long-standing member of a local pagan community. Forty-three years old at the time of his participation, he was a successful commercial pharmacist. He noted the isolated emotional quality of his session: It was like I was a mountain being mined by machines.

PROPHECY

Micah is one of the twelve minor prophets. A contemporary of Isaiah, he lived in the late eighth century BCE. His message focused on how God was to bring about the fall of Judah because of the ruling class’ injustice and obsession with court intrigue. He laments: Woe is to me, for I am as the last of the figs, like the gleanings*71 of the vintage (Micah 7:1).

Jeremiah also bemoans his isolation when he says to God: Because of Your hand I sat in seclusion (Jer. 15:17).

AMOUNT OF EMOTIONS

These examples represent either an abundance of feelings or a lack of them.

DMT

Stan was a local government administrator, in his early forties while participating in the project. He noted: The emotions are intense (DMT, 160).

In contrast, Carlos said: There were no more emotions, because emotions work only up to a certain point (DMT, 230).

PROPHECY

Jeremiah quantifies his grief: My eyes drip tears day and night and do not stop (Jer. 14:17).

Here, the prophetic state precludes normal grief. After Ezekiel’s wife dies, God tells him: You will not lament, nor weep, nor will you shed your tear (Ezek. 24:16).

SUMMARY

Similar to what we found for physical symptoms in the prophetic and DMT states, emotional effects also are quite common in both and demonstrate convincing overlap between them. We frequently read about awe, fear, and reverence as well as peace, safety, and a sense of reassurance. Love, euphoria, laughter, joy, and ecstasy are less common or do not occur at all in prophecy compared to the DMT state. However, lower-level prophetic inspiration, such as occurs in the Psalms, may elicit these feelings more frequently. Unpleasant emotions occur in both syndromes. The DMT state itself may be dysphoric; in particular, the physical and psychic concomitants of the rush. When sadness, anger, grief, or a sense of isolation occurs in the prophetic state, it usually is in response to a distressing message.