School starts and I’ve never been so glad to have an excuse to get out of my room and focus on something besides myself and my teammates, who are still treating me like I’m all that’s wrong in the world. Although, the outright insults have stopped. They’ve been replaced by intense stares that I’m positive have everything to do with Nathan Payne.
They haven’t asked, but I can see the questions every time they look at me. Turns out he’s kind of a big deal. According to Emily and Sydney, and my stellar eavesdropping skills, the entire basketball team are like gods around here. If they all look like Nathan, I can understand why.
The Valley campus is smaller than my previous college in California and easier to navigate, but I still find myself walking into both my Monday morning classes just as the professors started. The campus map I studied for an hour is harder to remember while trying to avoid the stares of my fellow students. I know it’s probably paranoid to assume they all know and hate me, but the thought crosses my mind every time someone holds my gaze for a second too long or dismisses me without returning a smile.
I head to University Hall after my morning classes to grab lunch. I find a table in the corner to sit. Earbuds in, I FaceTime my best friend Camila.
“You are alive,” she answers the phone, her black hair and olive complexion filling the screen and making me miss home with such ferocity my chest aches. “How’s Arizona?”
“Awful. Save me.”
She rolls her eyes. “So dramatic.” Camila looks me over carefully. I can feel her scrutiny even through the screen. “Did you just get done with practice?”
“No. Our team workouts are in the afternoon. I just got done with my morning classes.”
“You wore that to class?”
I glance down at my plain white t-shirt and cut-off jean shorts. “Yeah. What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing. It’s just so… casual for you.”
“I’m trying to blend in.”
“Blend in where? At a monster truck rally? Honey, it’s the first day of classes you always go all out.”
Thinking back to some of the outfits I wore to classes at Golden, I can’t argue that I’ve gone more casual, but it feels good, feels like me.
“Tell me about Valley. How are classes, how’s the team, how are the boys?” She emphasizes the last one with a smirk.
Nathan’s face flashes in my head and my face heats. “Classes are good, the team still hates me, and I don’t have time for boys.”
She rolls her eyes.
“I’m serious. No distractions. I’m going to prove I’m one of the top volleyball players if I have to eat, sleep, and dream volleyball.”
“You don’t have to prove anything. Your record last year speaks for itself, Chlo.”
“No one believes I earned any of that and you know it. Everything I accomplished at Golden is tainted. This is my chance to prove I can do it all on my own.” I shake my head before she can argue her point any more. “I don’t want to talk about me. Tell me about you. How’s the team shaping up?”
I listen to her go on and on about my former team, and I’m filled with such longing and sadness I forget to guard against the onslaught of emotions, namely anger, that comes when I remember why I’m not there finishing out my college volleyball career on the best team in the country. The niggling doubt that maybe I never really belonged there isn’t easy to push away either.
Maybe I earned my spot at Golden, maybe I didn’t. Even I’m not sure anymore. If my parents were willing to buy my way into the college, who’s to say they weren’t also making sure I was getting to play? I hate that I don’t know for sure if I ever truly belonged there in the first place.
“Tenley isn’t you, but she’s doing alright.” Tenley is the girl who took my place as Camila’s new partner.
“Thanks for saying so even if it’s not true. I hate the idea of someone else being paired with you.”
“That makes two of us.” I watch the background change as she walks through campus. Valley’s not so different, but it’s not home.
“What are your weekends going to be like? Any chance you can come visit in a few weeks?”
“I’m not sure,” I tell her honestly, but I leave out my misgivings about going back. Camila knows I didn’t have anything to do with the scandal that got me kicked out, but not everyone is as understanding as her. And the only people who dislike me more than my teammates at Valley are those people at Golden who blame me for my parents’ actions.
“I gotta go,” she says. “I just walked into class. Think about visiting. I miss you.”
“Miss you, too.”
She puckers her lips to the screen and then she’s gone.
I take what’s left of my sandwich and eat it on the way to my last class for the day. I find it without getting lost, and I’m so relieved to be in my seat before the professor starts talking that I slump into my chair and let out a sigh.
I feel eyes on me and look over to see Sydney and Emily a few seats down. I give them a small wave and notice Emily staring from me to a spot just behind me with a strange expression. I turn in my seat just a fraction and look over my shoulder and right into Nathan’s cocky grin.
Those lips say everything without forming a single sound. Starting with fancy seeing you here and ending with a thousand impossibly dirty reminders of our night together.
It’s been five days, and I think he got hotter somehow. Memories of the other night play in my mind like a porn highlight reel and I can’t peel my eyes away from him. One-night stands are so not my thing. I don’t mean that in some judgy way either. Sometimes I think I would be better off if I could treat sex as a casual endeavor, but I’ve never been able to really enjoy sex unless I’m super into the guy. It’s a real travesty, I assure you.
Which is one of the million reasons I can’t wrap my head around the multiple orgasms. I don’t know if it was the Everclear or if my vagina just imprinted onto Nathan’s penis, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. Or what I remember.
Plus, since the scandal at Golden, I’ve started to view my actions like they might end up front-page news and Transfer Student Gets White Girl Wasted and Sleeps with First Guy She Meets isn’t how I want to start out at Valley.
I try and smile naturally at him, not letting him or my roommates see how frazzled I am. I say hello, voice wavering. He returns my greeting, keeping that cocky smirk plastered on his face as he lifts two fingers from the desk in a casual wave. He’s totally pulling it off while I’m pretty sure I look like I walked into a surprise party completely naked.
A plain blue t-shirt the same color as his eyes, jeans, and that hair… messy hair shouldn’t be this attractive. He’s seated next to two other guys that I can now assume are basketball players. Now that I know that’s his sport, I can totally see it. Tall, muscular but not bulky, and long and lean fingers that make heat bloom in my face when I remember what he did with them.
Professor Sanchez directs our attention to the whiteboard, and I’m all too thankful to have a reason to look forward.
“Welcome to Business Communications. I am Professor Sanchez. Let’s get right to the important stuff, shall we? Attendance is not mandatory, but if you miss more than three of my classes, I will dock you a percent for every additional class missed.”
A collective groan sweeps over the class. Classes with an attendance policy are the worst.
Professor Sanchez continues, “Ten percent will come from weekly quizzes, fifteen percent from homework, and that leaves…”
Someone up front finally says, “Seventy-five percent.”
“Yes. Exactly.” He picks up a stack of papers on his desk and hands them to the front row. “Take one and pass them around. Seventy-five percent of your grade in this class will come from the semester group project outlined in detail in the syllabus coming around. You will work in groups of two or three to create a pitch for a product not geared toward your demographic. You’ll each choose a product from the basket. Find a partner and then one of you come up front to select your product.”
Panic to find a partner has everyone glancing around the room.
“Go ahead. You’ll have the rest of the class to get these details ironed out, and we’ll reconvene on Wednesday.”
I turn my head just enough to see Nathan hasn’t moved and he’s watching me with amusement. Oh, God, now what?
Emily and Sydney are already huddled together reading the project syllabus and if I ask to be in their group, they’re going to know I lied about Nathan and they may very well say no anyway.
I do a quick perusal of the entire classroom, but everyone is already pairing off. When I glance back at Nathan, the guy next to him elbows him and lifts the syllabus. Nathan says something in response that I can’t make out, but when his blue eyes meet mine, he tips his head to the empty chair on his other side in an unmistakable invitation to join him.
Every step closer to him makes my heart hammer faster in my chest. “Hey, ummm, do you maybe wanna be partners?”
He tries and fails to keep from smiling. “That depends. Are you asking as my girlfriend or as the girl who kicked me out of her room before I’d even got my pants on?”
My face flushes and I freeze, grappling for how to respond.
“Relax, I’m kidding.” He motions again to the chair next to him.
I sit. “I’m so sorry.”
“For which thing?”
This time, at my loss for words, he doesn’t try and hide the giant grin on his face. “This is gonna be fun.”
He picks up the syllabus from his desk and starts to read. I’m still gawking at him a minute later when he says, “If you keep staring at me like that, though, I might get a little creeped out.”
“Sorry.” I duck my head and hide behind the paper. I skim the project guidelines, noting mostly how much time Nathan and I are going to be forced to spend together. If he’s at all put out by the idea, he doesn’t let on. Leaning back in his chair, one leg is stretched out at an angle to accommodate his height. His hair is a little too long on top, but the messy look suits him. So does the scruff.
“So, what do you think?” he asks as he sets the paper down.
“Fine.”
He smirks.
Get it together, Chloe. “Do you want to exchange numbers? It looks like we’re going to need to work on this outside of class.”
Two long seconds pass before he scribbles his number on a piece of paper and passes it to me. “Knew you’d change your mind about wanting my number.”
He stands and shoulders his backpack, giving me a wink before he heads out of the class.
“What about picking our product?” I call after him.
“You pick, let me know what we got when you text me.”
I’m still jittery from my encounter with Nathan when I make the walk from campus to practice. It’s going to be a very long semester seeing him in class three times a week. He’s ridiculously hot and charming and everything I don’t need in my life right now. Volleyball has to be my focus. The other night was… well, it was pretty spectacular, if I’m honest, but it can’t happen again. Not until I’ve proven myself. I need to know that I’m capable of doing it all on my own.
But working beside Nathan all semester is going to be a sweet kind of torture.
I get to the courts one minute before practice—perfectly timed to avoid being in the line of Bri’s wrath for longer than necessary. Standing off to the side by myself while my teammates chat, I strip off my shoes and grab my sunglasses before tossing my bag in the sand.
Coach won’t arrive for another fifteen minutes, giving our captain the responsibility of getting us warm and loose.
“Three laps,” Bri calls out and the team shuffles to the perimeter and begins the run around the courts. I step in line, clearing my head of the day and ready to get to work, but Bri’s voice yelling my name is like nails on a chalkboard. “Chloe. You’ve brought opponent colors to practice.” Shit. I glance toward my Golden team bag. Valley and Golden colors are similar, but I get it. It’s disrespectful, and I hadn’t even done it on purpose. “Since you’re such a fan, today you can practice with the bag.”
She can’t mean I have to carry my bag all through practice. But the icy stare she gives me tells me just how serious she is. I walk back toward my bag with anger radiating. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was steam coming out my ears. Anger at my bitchy captain. Anger at myself for being so stupid. And anger at my parents for my being here.
I loop the bag over my shoulder and step into line a full lap behind already.
After practice, I walk back to the dorm slowly. I’m so tired I don’t even care that no one looks up or speaks to me when I head through the common area to my room. I stop at the sight of the Valley Volleyball backpack on my bed.
“Hey.” Sydney pokes her head in before walking all the way into our room. “Do you like it? I managed to get you one of the new ones instead of the hideous ones from two years ago that are some awful purply-blue color.”
“Thank you, I should have thought of that.” I start transferring the essentials to my new bag.
“There’s a supply closet in the locker room at the fieldhouse. I only grabbed the bag, but there are shirts and water bottles and some other stuff too.”
I face her and see nothing but sincerity. I want to hug her, but I hold back. Someday, I hope we can get there. Just one more reason I need to focus on volleyball. If I prove myself on the court, I think my teammates will be more inclined to accept me. “Thank you. I appreciate it, really. I didn’t even think about bringing my old bag to practice.”
I’ve carried it for the better part of three years. So much that it feels weird when I pick up the Valley one and try it out. It’s bigger and made just different enough that it feels unnatural.
She shrugs and looks like she might want to say more, but Bri calls for her from the living room. Sydney smiles apologetically. “You’re welcome.”
Tuesday is far less eventful. I don’t have any more run-ins with Nathan, and I give Bri absolutely no reason to yell at me during practice. I’m in full Valley gear, and I work my ass off. Coach even comments on my performance, telling me to keep it up.
Wednesday afternoon, I head to class early so I can grab a seat before Nathan gets here. I try and busy myself with my phone, but I’m still aware of the exact moment he walks in. His deep voice slides over my skin, leaving goosebumps. “Can I sit by you?”
I gesture to the seat beside me, the same one he sat in last class, and he lets his backpack drop to the floor as he sits. He looks to me expectantly.
“What?” I say finally, an unsteady smile spreading across my face at his cheeky grin.
“I’m waiting for you to apologize.”
“For?”
“Not calling me. You asked for my digits and then never called.”
I think he’s trying to look hurt, but the smirk on his face is too damn irresistible to feel too sorry for him. “I’m sure you managed to fill your time just the same.”
He shrugs. “A guy can’t wait around forever.”
“Forty-eight hours is hardly forever.”
His smirk turns into a full-blown panty-melting smile.
“What’d we get?” he asks, referencing the product for our project.
“A pen.” I dig out the paper with the information and hand it to him, but I’m saved from any more of his charm when Professor Sanchez starts in on today’s lecture.
For fifty long minutes, I do my best to take notes and absorb the material, which is a feat of Olympic proportions with Nathan beside me. He makes me feel so… aware. Aware of him and of my body reacting to him. This is ridiculous. Hot guys don’t usually turn me into a distracted mess, but there’s just something about him.
When Professor Sanchez dismisses us, I shoot up from my seat, ready to flee. Nathan slides his leg out in front of him before standing, blocking my exit path.
“You got plans tonight?”
I don’t, of course. “Yeah, sorry.”
He doesn’t look like he believes me. “We’re having a party tonight.”
Sydney and Emily slide up behind me. We’re in their way, but they look less interested in leaving than they do eavesdropping.
“Text me, you have my number.” He steps into the aisle and then looks back. “Hope to see you later.”
His long legs carry him out of the auditorium quickly, and I stand stupidly frozen in place until he’s gone.
“I still can’t believe you’re dating him,” Sydney says. “He’s so hot.”
Emily pushes in front of Sydney so she’s walking beside me as we climb the stairs. “You’re going tonight, right?”
“Actually, I’m pretty tired. I think I’m going to stay in.”
“What?! No way,” Emily says loudly and then lowers her voice. “We have to go.”
“We?” I don’t even try to hide the humor in my tone. Emily’s never been mean to me like Bri, but this is the most she’s spoken to me directly. Still, I think we could be friends if it weren’t for the weird situation we’re in, so I don’t call her out for trying to use me to go to my fake boyfriend’s party.
“I think this could be good for all of us. Bri would never admit it, but she’s dying to go. She’s shyer than you’d think when it comes to socializing with people outside the team,” Sydney says as we push out of the building.
Emily nods her agreement.
“So, I just invite her to the party and all will be forgiven?”
She snorts. “God, no. First, we convince her to go, then we have to show her how awesome you are, then maybe she’ll ease up.”
“That sounds simple enough.” I roll my eyes.
“Just leave it to us.” Sydney and Emily take off, smiling and laughing as I follow behind them to practice. Why do I think my fake boyfriend has already been more trouble than he’s worth?
I’m lying in bed reading when Sydney storms into our room with matching neon green towels wrapped around her body and on top of her head. She’s got a big smile on her face. “Get up. I talked Bri into going and I made a few calls. Practically the whole team is going.” She does a little happy squeal and claps her hands.
“The whole team?” I ask, panic rising. I don’t need any more witnesses to what is surely going to be an epic failure of a night. I don’t know any real details about the party. I don’t even know where Nathan lives.
Resigning myself, I grab my phone.
Me: Hi. It’s Chloe.
I wait for a response, tapping my pinky on the back of my phone. Sydney pulls three different dresses from our closet and puts them on the bed. Her wardrobe is a rainbow of colors and the three she pulled are no exception. A yellow dress with straps that crisscross in the back, a purple strapless spandex number, and a hot pink, super short dress with thick straps and a square neck.
After five minutes of watching Sydney deliberate, pick the hot pink dress and then switch to the purple one, and then go back to the hot pink, I still haven’t heard from Nathan.
Me: So, this party… where is it? The roommates wanna go so looks like I’m in.
I try not to overthink it and press send. This way, if we run into each other, it won’t be like I’m admitting to being into him. I mean, I don’t even want to go… except I kind of don’t hate the thought of seeing him again. Outside of class, of course, where I can flee at any second. And it’s just a party. As long as I steer clear of the Everclear and don’t invite him back to my dorm, all should be fine. We’re going to be partners all semester so I might as well get used to spending time with him as friends.
“You should start getting ready,” Sydney says as she plugs in her blow dryer and spritzes her hair with a heat protectant spray. “Parties at The White House are packed. It’s best to get there early.”
The White House? I feel like that name should mean something to me, so I don’t ask what the hell The White House is even though I’m dying to know.
“What happened to showing up to parties fashionably late?” I bite my tongue before I add that at Golden we never arrived at a party before eleven. I need to quit reminding them of my past.
“You can be fashionably late to parties on frat row, but parties at The White House are the kind of events you want to be there for every possible minute. You don’t want to miss anything. I mean, you’ve seen that place, it’s incredible. They’ve had some epic parties there.”
“Mhmm.” I brush past her and disappear into the closet. “How do you guys want to get there? Should we take an Uber?”
She laughs. “Did you guys seriously Uber to parties within walking distance at Golden? We’ll just walk. It would take us longer to get an Uber than it would to walk there. Wear flats and carry your heels; that’s what I always do. We can stop and slip on our heels before we cross over at the fieldhouse.”
I store every piece of information she offers in case I need it later. It’s going to be a very long night.