Our team dinner is at an Italian place with a large outdoor seating area and views of the mountains. We have the entire patio, and they’ve pulled the tables together into one long table for us.
Coach gave us a two-drink max, but Emily waves me over to the opposite side of the patio where a firepit is lit. It’s unseasonably cool tonight so I’m thankful for the warmth.
“Shots?”
“What?”
“At the bar. Come on, Coach is so busy talking she’ll never notice.”
I look through the open French doors to the restaurant. She’s right. With the angle of the bar, it’s unlikely she’ll see us.
Emily smiles, clearly seeing my hesitation waver, and grabs my hand. We shuffle quickly to the corner of the bar and erupt into giggles.
“Think she saw us?” I ask.
“Nah. We’re good.”
The bartender eyes us as he sets a martini down in front of the guy beside us. “What can I get you?”
“Two shots of Fireball.”
We have to flash our IDs before he goes off to get our drinks, but when he’s gone, I turn to her. “Fireball? Are you trying to get me drunk?”
“Definitely,” she says through a smile. “There’s a party at Mallory’s tonight.”
“Oh, I dunno. I don’t really know Mallory.”
She rolls her eyes. “No excuses. Everyone on the team is going and that includes you.”
Our shots come, and I clink my glass to hers. It does include me, and Camila was right. I need to start acting like I belong.
The dinner takes a long time—the restaurant clearly not expecting a team of girls to order as much food as we do. By the time we eat, the two glasses of wine combined with the three shots Emily and I snuck off to take at the bar have already hit me hard.
After, we pile into Bri’s SUV. She didn’t drink tonight. In fact, she’s been the DD at all of our team outings and I gotta say I respect that she looks out for everyone. She’s not a bad captain, just a little too heavy with the iron fist.
Mallory’s apartment is far enough away that we decide on leaving Bri’s car here tonight and getting an Uber back to the dorm later. Bri’s no drinking doesn’t apply to parties thankfully, and I’m hoping if she gets liquored up enough maybe I can corner her in the bathroom and force her to talk, to be friends with me.
Clearly, the alcohol has gone to my head. Emily is talking to some guy I don’t know in the front room, so I go off in search of Sydney. She’s always down for fun.
“Hey, Chloe,” Liv, a freshman, says as I approach the kitchen. I realize I haven’t really done a good job of trying to get to know any of them besides my roommates. In practices, I keep my head down and I’d thought Bri had gotten to everyone but maybe not. Liv seems happy to see me anyway.
“Hey.” I stop next to her. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” She bobs her head, tucks her long red hair behind both ears, and glances around awkwardly.
“Not really your scene?”
“I just don’t really know anyone yet. I got put in a dorm room with soccer players, so practices and team outings are the only chance I have.”
I grab her hand and pull her behind me like Emily did me earlier. “Come on, tonight that all changes.” I pick up a bottle of Rumchata. “Drink?”
I stop drinking to ensure Liv has a good time and I introduce her, and in some cases myself, to anyone who will listen. We dance and laugh with our teammates and if anyone minds my being here, I can’t tell because I’m not focusing on that.
After two in the morning, Emily pushes me into the back of an Uber with the rest of my roommates. I slide in between Bri and Emily. Tonight was fun. The first fun night I’ve had that didn’t involve Nathan since I got to Valley.
I decide to text him. I’m well aware that he’s probably asleep, but I miss him, and I want to hear his voice… or see his words, whatever.
Me: Hey! What are you doing?
Bri glances at my phone. “Booty call?”
“Is it still a booty call if I love him?” Love might be a bit strong, but at this hour, my very strong like feels a lot like love.
I lie my head on Bri’s shoulder. I never did get a chance to talk to her tonight, but the back of an Uber seems like the wrong place. Eh, when will it be the right place? “Why don’t you like me?”
Emily busts out laughing and I yawn. I’m suddenly so tired and the exhaustion of weeks of stress and holding it all in finally catches up to me. Bri stays quiet and I pull my head from her shoulder. “I just want to play volleyball and I’m good. I’m really good. So why don’t you like me?”
“Because I had to work my ass off to be here. My mom worked three jobs, and I still had to take out student loans and here you are, buying your way into not one but two colleges.”
“I didn’t buy my way into Valley.”
She raises a brow.
“I didn’t.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes. My coach at Golden put me in touch with—”
“I know. Your coach from the school you bought your way into made a call.”
She looks at me like she’s waiting for me to connect the dots.
“It’s not the same thing.”
“Isn’t it?”
I mull it over for the rest of our drive. Is my time at Valley just an extension of all the perks my parents gained for me? I can’t believe that.
We get out of the Uber and slowly make our way up to our dorm. Instead of going to my room, I head to Bri’s. She’s changing in the closet, and I plop down on her bed.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s the same thing, but I can see how it feels unfair to you. I just want to play volleyball. No bullshit.”
She comes out of her closet as she pulls a baggy t-shirt over her head. Emily is already asleep in her bed on the opposite side of the room still fully dressed.
Bri lies down on the bed next to me, and I make no move to leave. She lets her head fall to the side and looks me in the eye. “Thank you. I guess that’s all I wanted to hear. After graduation, I want to play professionally.”
“You do?” I ask, surprised I didn’t already know.
She nods. “It’s been my dream forever.”
I look up at her ceiling and think about my own dreams. Getting through the year and proving myself has become all I can see of the future.
“I’m sorry I ruined your dress.”
“My dress?” I glance down until I realize she means the pink one. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. That thing probably cost more than my entire closet. I’ve been sick about it ever since. I’ll pay you back someday.”
“Not necessary, just promise you’ll tone down the queen bee bitch routine?”
She snorts. “Yeah, okay.”
We fall silent again, and she nudges me with her elbow. “I’m sorry I’ve been a royal bitch to you but, Chloe?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m still gonna kick your ass in the sand.”
The next morning, I wake up in Bri’s bed. My phone is dead, but even without knowing the time I have a feeling I’ve overslept. When I sit up, nausea hits me. I’m hungover and hungry and my stomach is confused because it wants to eat but also acknowledges I may very well puke if I do.
Sydney is gone from our room, so I gingerly sit on my bed in the dark and plug in my phone and wait for it to get enough of a charge to turn on.
When the screen finally illuminates a series of texts pops up.
Nathan: Lying in bed. What are you doing? You know it’s 2:13, right?
Nathan: Everything okay?
And thirty minutes later.
Nathan: Be careful, princess.
I send him a text before I force myself to get up and get my shower stuff together. I need to wash off last night and nap before practice.
Me: I don’t think I’m going to make it to class today. Can you take notes for me? Pretty please with a blow job on top?
Nathan: Morning. Rough night? Sure. No need to bribe me with sex, princess.
Nathan: Ignore that. You can absolutely bribe me with sex.
Me: Hang tonight?
Nathan: Can’t. I promised Datson I’d help him with some footwork drills. Tomorrow?
Me: I don’t think I’ll be done ‘til late on Thursday. We have a tournament this weekend.
Nathan: Tournament where? Valley?
Me: Yes, it’s here.
Nathan: Sweet. Can you get me front row tickets?
I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling.
Me: Smartass, it’s general admission.
The rest of the week is busy. Classes are starting to get more intense, so keeping up with homework and assigned reading on top of the long practices and extra workouts is a bit grueling. I see Nathan in class, but we both have to blow off our project.
The tournament is a small fall exhibition with only a few other schools. Even so, I’m so nervous I can’t eat breakfast.
Coach pairs me with Emily and moves Bri with Sydney. It’s a switch from last year and from how we’ve been practicing. Emily and Bri have been partners most of their collegiate careers. I expect all the progress we’ve made being civilized to one another to come to a screeching halt, but Bri just nods and goes about her warmups.
I think she feels a little victorious when Coach dubs them the number one pairing. During the fall season, it doesn’t mean much. I know that and she knows that, but if it keeps the truce going, she can keep it… for now, anyway.
We warm up as a team first. Coach calls out the exercises from the sideline. Side lunges, shuffles, crossover, lateral bear crawl. Then we do ball drills—serving, passing, and hitting.
Finally, we break off into our pairs, and Emily and I jog to the fieldhouse. Once we’re there, we do some light stretches and then turn around and head back. We’re on court two so we head there for the official warmup. We work on peppering and serving warmups until I’ve blocked everything out.
“Work together. Quick transitions.” Coach Carter gives us a last-minute pep talk. She claps her hands and Emily and I walk to our starting side.
We’re up against Monte State first. I’ve played them before. They’re tough, but I’m confident in Emily and I working together. Her height and my athleticism is a good combo.
Before I take the first serve, I look to the side where a few spectators have crowded under a blue awning. Nathan smiles and lifts his chin in acknowledgment. Shaw is here, too, but I barely afford him a second glance. My stomach flutters at Nathan showing up for me.
My parents, who used to make every game, won’t be able to make as many now that I’m farther away, but it feels decidedly awesome to know I’m going to have Nathan here for me instead.