Coach leans back in his chair and swivels to the side so he’s staring at the Michael Jordan poster on the wall. He hasn’t said a single word since I unloaded on him.
I told him about my situation, leaving out the parts about my mom failing to keep a job but ensuring he understood it was imperative that I have income coming in.
And I told him about Lincoln, the guy Zeke introduced me to. I’d been hesitant, but I’m actually excited about the possibility of working for him after talking to him on the phone this morning.
“This isn’t only my decision. I’ll need to follow the chain of command, but I’m inclined to allow it as long as you and Lincoln are both crystal clear on the rules set by the NCAA and follow them to the letter.”
My pulse quickens. Is this what it feels like to get a break? It’s been so long since everything in my life felt so in order.
“To the letter,” I agree and stand in a rush. I actually feel lighter.
“I’ll let you know when I have a decision.”
I nod and shift in my chair. “Also.” I clear my throat. “I never apologized or thanked you. I put you and the team in a bad position. I know that, I see it clearer now. Thank you for believing in me enough not to toss me on my ass.”
He huffs a laugh. “It was close.” He motions with his head to the door. “Get out of here. I like you better when you’re not sucking up.”
I smile and hurry to the door. That makes two of us. Plus, I’m meeting Chloe for lunch, and I can’t wait to tell her about the job.
“And Nathan?” Coach calls after me. I pause and turn back to see him smiling at me. “I hope it works out. It sounds like a great opportunity.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
I text Heath on my way to the dorms to tell him to call me after practice.
Sydney and Emily are leaving as I get to their room. I’m cheesing at them like a lunatic, and I can’t even help it. I’m so damn excited. “Hey.”
“Hey, Nathan,” Emily says, holding the door for me. “Chloe’s in her room.”
I knock on her open door. “Chlo?”
“In the closet. Be right out.”
I plop down on her made bed to wait for her. The closet door opens, and she steps through looking like a vision. Brown midriff t-shirt and jeans that come up high on her waist so only a sliver of tanned stomach is visible. Her blonde hair is up in a ponytail, and I don’t think she has any makeup on, but she’s still the hottest girl I’ve ever seen.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say something stupid like I love you, but she speaks and saves me the embarrassment. “Where do you want to go to eat? I’m starving.”
“I was hoping I could convince you to stay in. We can order takeout. My treat. I finally found a new job.” Maybe I’m counting my singles before payday, but it feels like this might actually happen.
She crosses to the bed and sits on the edge, one leg dangling off the side. “When did that happen?”
“This morning. It’s perfect. I’ll be working with this guy who runs an online coaching website. It’s huge, every sport you could imagine.” So many more details I want to tell her, but I pull her on my lap and take her mouth.
“I missed you,” I say when she rests her forehead against mine. “We might need to establish some new rules.”
“Rules?”
“Mhmm.” I cup the back of her neck and run a thumb along the delicate spot between her ear and collarbone. “Rule number one, I need to see my girlfriend every day.”
She kisses me then, and we fall back onto the bed.
“Say it again,” she insists.
“Rule numb—”
“No, the part where you called me your girlfriend.”
Her eyes burn into me with need and desire and hope. I’d give anything to keep that look on her face, directed at me, forever. No one has ever looked at me like I held the key to everything they ever wanted. I hope I don’t royally fuck this up.
“My girlfriend is bossy,” I tell her. “But it’s hot as fuck.”
Our clothes come off in between long kisses until she’s down to just a pair of black panties with strings holding the front to the back and I’m in my tented boxers. She climbs on top of me, her boobs bouncing and the pink buds tempting as hell.
Leaning forward, I bring my tongue to one and lick it until she sighs her appreciation.
“Your mouth… Jesus, your mouth.”
I’m about to give her other nipple the same treatment when she scrambles off my lap and strips me out of my boxers. She looks up at me through dark lashes, green eyes swirling with desire.
Wrapping a hand around the base, she takes me into her mouth. The tight suction and the warmth of her has me hissing out a shaky breath. She feels so damn good. I let her work me over until I can’t take it anymore. I flip her onto her back and untie one side of her panties and then the other.
“Damn,” I say after I’ve unwrapped her like a present.
I reach for my jeans and grab a condom out of my wallet. She takes it from me and covers me while I watch on, fascinated with how careful she is and how good her touch feels even over the latex.
We both groan with pleasure and need when I push into her tight pussy. Her hands roam over my arms and chest. She feels me up as I fill her up and it’s so fucking good.
“How’s Chinese?”
I glance at the clock. “I have practice in an hour, I don’t think we have time. Someone kept me busy for too long.” I drop a kiss on the tip of her nose and sit up. “Wanna grab food from University Hall?”
Chloe nods, and we get dressed. Linking our fingers, I pull her hand to my lips and kiss it before dropping our still joined hands and leading her out of the dorm.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Chloe says excitedly, swinging our arms. “I met a guy at the football party. Frank, I think his name was. He said he knew you and you used to hang out or work together or something.”
I stiffen at the name but force my feet and arms to keep moving. “I know lots of people, babe.”
“Tall, dark hair and beard, he said to tell you hello and to call him if you changed your mind?” She looks at me quizzically.
“Oh, yeah. Frank. We have Econ together. Wants me to join his study group.” The words physically hurt as they leave my mouth. How do you tell the girl you’re dating that she just met your former boss, and oh, by the way, he’s a drug dealer and so was I up until the day you met me?
Bri and Mallory are coming out of University Hall as we approach. Bri waves and we walk toward them.
“We’re going over to the courts early to work on passing drills. You wanna come?”
Chloe motions with her head toward me. “We were gonna get lunch.”
“Go,” I say, trying to sound like an understanding boyfriend instead of a shitty one who just lied and needs to flee to think through what I’ve done. I drop her hand and take a step away before she can try and change my mind. “I’ve gotta couple errands to run before weightlifting. I’ll call ya later.”
“Oh. Okay. You’re sure? You still need to tell me all about the new job.”
“Positive, princess.” I kiss her cheek and then wave to her teammates.
I head to the gym early and go straight into warmups. It’s an hour before anyone else gets here but I need to burn off some of the worry and guilt I’m holding.
I jog up and down the court with the ball, crossing over every third dribble. I try and think through the situation logically. I should go straight after practice and tell her the truth. All of it. My friends have stuck by my side even after they found out. Then again, I didn’t lie to them, at least not outright. It was more of an omission.
I know I have to tell her. And I want to. I don’t want to keep anything from her, but damn, I can’t help but want to hold on to the way things are right now. She looks at me like I’m her knight in shining armor, swooping in to save my princess, when in reality, she’s the one who saved me. Every day since the day I met her, she’s made me want to be better, but I can’t hide from the shitty things I’ve done, and I have to believe it won’t be the end of us.
Tuesday morning, Coach gives me the good news that I’ve got sign-off to take the job and I call Lincoln as soon as I get back to the house.
“That’s great news, Nathan.” He pauses. “Do you go by Nathan?”
“Yes, sir.”
He chuckles. “Don’t call me sir, makes me feel old as shit. Lincoln or Linc is fine.”
“Got it.”
“The site is still in progress, but I’ll get you an account so you can see what it looks like from the back end. Pretty simple really. Once a client signs up, they have access to view tutorials, read blog posts, and submit questions or videos, depending on their membership. The most basic level is free, and clients can submit questions that are sorted based on sport. That will be your job, answering the questions that come in through the basic package. So far, it’s been a lot of questions on how they can get more advanced help. We’ve got some canned responses for that, but a few sports-related questions have come in too. It might be slow to start, but I’m confident it’ll pick up as the full site goes live.”
“It sounds great. I’m really excited. Thank you for the opportunity.”
“Glad to have you. I saw you play in the Florida Gulf game last year. You’re a hell of a player.”
“Thanks.” This conversation is trippy. Is this my life right now?
“Alright, I gotta go. Flying to Texas tomorrow to do an event with Tiger Woods at a college down there.”
“No way, really?”
He chuckles. “Watch a bunch of kids with stars in their eyes as Tiger talks about his success and then he leaves and I get to try and tamper their expectations. Everyone thinks they’re the next Tiger Woods and I get to break it to them that they’re not. I assure you it sounds more glamorous than it is.”
When I get off the phone with Lincoln, I text Heath. He has his college visit tomorrow so I wish him luck and then tell him to give Mom the phone so I can call her, hoping my good mood isn’t about to come crashing down.
“Hi, honey,” she answers on the first ring.
“Hey, Mom, how are you?”
“Oh, we’re fine. How are things at Valley? Your brother tells me you got a job.”
“Yeah, I did. Should be able to start sending some money again to help out with Heath’s hockey stuff.” I take a breath and add, “And whatever else you guys need. How’s your job hunt coming?”
“I talked to an old colleague who might have a substitute job coming open. Their fifth-grade teacher is going on maternity leave starting in December.”
She doesn’t mention how her last interview went so I guess that’s my answer on if she got that job. “That’s great, Mom. Heath told me about his NMU visit. Are you going with him?”
“Uncle Doug is taking him.”
I tread carefully. I never know if it’s better to push or leave it be, but this is one of those moments I think she needs a push. “I know, but he still wants you there, too, even if he doesn’t say it.” We’re both quiet until I add, “He needs you, Mom.”
She huffs a small laugh. “Your brother won’t even let me drop him off for school unless I park nearly a block away. Besides, your uncle Doug knows what questions to ask regarding hockey and the team.”
Another retort is on the tip of my tongue, but Heath yells something in the background and Mom responds to him, her mouth away from the phone so I can’t quite follow along.
Hopefully, he’s looking for a razor and some deodorant. I say as much and then it becomes a back and forth of me barking orders and Mom passing them along, then Heath grumbles back and Mom and I laugh.
It feels good to be joking and laughing, and it’s the first time since Dad died that I don’t wish for things to be different. I’d still give anything to have him around, have him call me and talk sports, tell me he’s proud of me, hear him and Mom be grossly sweet to one another, plan summer trips to see the Brewers play. I miss all of those things, but this moment feels like progress.
“Tell Heath to call me tomorrow night so I can hear about the trip and promise me you’ll at least think about going with him?”
“I promise,” she says softly.
“Talk to ya later, Mom.”
When I hang up, I drop onto my bed and sleep the entire night. Dreamless, peaceful sleep.