“To lead is to sacrifice. To lead any other way is a path to destruction, not only for the ruler but for those who are under their care.” ~Vasile
“What are you looking for?” Zara asked as she sat down next to Wadim. They were holed up in a room the pair had converted into a workspace for the historian, and he’d hardly left since they’d arrived at the Keep. Zara had remained quiet, letting him work and bringing him food but otherwise just letting him do whatever it was he was doing. She didn’t want to get in his way or annoy him.
“You could never get in my way or annoy me,” he said through their bond, obviously having heard her thoughts.
“See if you can say the same thing in a decade or two,” she teased. “See if you can say the same thing in a decade or two,” she teased. “And your shirt says otherwise.” She pointed at the t-shirt he’d been wearing for two days. It said, ‘if you can read this, you’re too damn close. If you’re too damn close, I’m annoyed. When I’m annoyed, I start eating those who got too damn close.’ She’d snort laughed when she’d read it the first time and it still made her snort laugh two days later.
Wadim took his eyes off the computer screen he’d been staring at for the better part of fifteen hours and looked at her. She could see the exhaustion in his unusual gold eyes. They were bright in the center, and they darkened toward the outer edge. Zara could get lost in them if she let herself.
“I apologize if I’ve been neglecting you,” he said, his voice filled with concern.
Zara immediately shook her head. “Nah-uh. I’m not that girl. You don’t need to cater to me in order for me to feel secure in our relationship. I’m just curious, but I also don’t want to keep you from doing something important. So if you can’t take time to explain it, not that you won’t, but you seriously can’t, I get it and I’m okay.”
To her surprise, he reached out, took her face in his hands, and pressed his lips to hers. It was a firm but brief kiss, one she was becoming accustomed to because he did it so often. Apparently, Wadim liked kissing her.
“You’re amazing,” he said when he pulled back. He ran a thumb across her cheek and simply stared at her for a few heartbeats before finally dropping his hands. He grabbed the arm of the chair she sat in, pulled her closer to him, and then pointed to the screen. “Right now, I am simply going through any and all records I can. The problem is I only have the history of the wolves. I don’t have the records of all the supernaturals like the djinn do.”
“The djinn have all the history?” Zara’s eyes widened. “As in all, all?”
He nodded. “They are the history keepers of the supernatural races. I know it’s mind blowing because it seems impossible. But how is it possible that I am a man who can turn into a wolf? How is it possible vampires exist?”
“Do they have an archive system the way you do?”
He shook his head. “As far as I know, they have history keepers who have an ability, supernatural obviously, to keep all the information in their minds. I don’t even know if they fully understand how they can possess so much in their minds. Maybe their brain structure is different, and therefore they process and store information in a way the rest of us can’t understand.”
Zara considered his words and thought it was as good an explanation as they were going to get without asking a djinn. “So what are you looking for in the Canis lupus archives?”
He scrolled through the pages of information, which was written in a language she didn’t know. When Zara looked at his face, she saw his eyes moving inhumanly fast across the screen. He was reading at an unbelievable speed.
“I need to figure out why they want Sally so badly, or a healer in general. And do they need other supernaturals just as badly,” he answered. “Is there something that makes it important for them to have the power of certain supernaturals, or all of them, or what?” She heard the frustration in his voice growing as he scanned the pages. “I can’t believe I’m unable to find anything in all the information we have recorded. If we knew why they wanted her, then maybe it would give us an advantage. We could predict how they are going to try and use her. Maybe we can do something to prevent it.”
“Are there historians in other packs?” Zara had no clue how the packs were organized. She was still learning how the Romanian pack worked, so she hoped it wasn’t a stupid question, but she really wanted to help him. She didn’t like seeing him so stressed, feeling as though the fate of everything depended on him finding the right information.
“I’m an idiot,” Wadim said as he dropped his head down.
“I’m going to have to disagree with that, sir,” Zara said as she poked his side. He was very ticklish, and she loved to exploit it when she could.
“Why didn’t I think of asking the other historians to look through their archives?” He groaned as he pulled out his cell phone. His fingers moved swiftly across the keys.
Zara smiled. She liked that she’d been able to do something useful. Short of feeding him, she had no clue what she could do. Now, maybe she’d done something with the small suggestion that would take a bit of pressure off his shoulders.
“Thank you,” he said as he set the phone down and laid a hand on her leg, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I was so focused on what I needed to do that I didn’t even consider asking others for help.”
“I’m glad I could help,” Zara said.
“You help by simply being here.” His eyes began to glow as he looked at her. His wolf wanted to assert his opinion. “You’re everything, mate.” His voice was rougher than usual, and there was a slight growl. “Just having you nearby helps us focus. When you aren’t close, we are constantly thinking about where you are and if you are safe.”
Zara reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. Along with the tickling, she’d also discovered that Wadim and his wolf loved it when she stroked his hair. “Then I am glad I am here if that’s what you need.”
Wadim leaned into her touch and closed his eyes. He hummed his enjoyment, and Zara grinned. Sometimes, even in his human form, he seemed more animal than man. When his eyes opened, they no longer glowed. “I sent a text to the historians in the Colorado, Missouri, and Italian packs. If we don’t have anything in the next twenty-four hours, I’ll reach out to some of the others. I don’t want to get everyone worked up by reaching out to all of them. Vasile has enough people looking to him to fix this issue. He doesn’t need the other alphas around the world giving their two cents.”
Zara couldn’t begin to imagine the pressure Vasile felt. She was glad he had Alina, who was so strong and caring. If anyone could give their mate the support he needed, it was her.
“Do you think you could grab a few hours of sleep?” Zara asked. “No offense, but you’re beginning to look more like a racoon than a wolf.” She ran her finger under his eyes where dark circles were beginning to form.
He grabbed her hand and nipped her fingers playfully. “Rest is definitely in order. None of us is any good if we are exhausted.”
He entwined their fingers and pulled her to her feet. Zara walked at his side, their shoulders brushing as they headed for their room. She still got nervous when they were getting ready for bed, but once they were laying down and he had his arms wrapped tightly around her, keeping her safe, she was fine. She hated that she was still uneasy around him. She knew Wadim would never hurt her. She knew he would accept her and thought she was beautiful. But some scars run deep and take longer to heal.
“Quit beating yourself up,” he said softly as he pushed the door to their room open. “You’re here. We’re together. That is enough. If it is all we ever have, it is enough.”
Tears filled her eyes as he once again amazed her at his ability to say what she needed to hear, and because of their bond, she knew without a doubt that he meant it. He wasn’t just placating her with pretty words. After everything they’d gone through only months before, with the darkness that her captor had left in her mind, Wadim still wanted her.
Wadim suddenly swung her up into his arms and tossed her onto the bed. Zara laughed but quickly stifled it when he took his shirt off and tossed it at the end of the bed. Like all the males of the Canis lupus race, he was muscular and quite nice to look at.
“You’re drooling,” he said with a wicked grin.
Zara rolled her eyes. “You wish.”
He climbed into the bed like a prowling tiger and then settled in, turning her so that her back was pressed to his chest. He buried his face in her hair and practically purred. “This is the best thing in my life,” he said, his voice a little muffled.
“What?”
“Holding you,” he said, pulling her tighter to him. “I can go to the Great Luna a happy wolf because I have had the privilege and joy of having my true mate in my arms.”
Zara settled into him and placed her hands over his arms. She liked the feel and warmth of his skin, and the coarse hair that lightly covered his flesh. She loved his scent and how it covered her. But most of all, she was comforted by knowing he didn’t want to be anywhere other than right there with her.
“Everyone has been given sleeping quarters,” Alina told Vasile as he sat at a table in the dining hall. They’d arrived back nearly two hours ago and, after addressing the pack, his mate had insisted he eat. She’d actually insisted that all of the warriors who’d returned be fed, and they had been. The room had been cleared and the tables cleaned, and now it was only he and his female.
“Thank you,” he told her as she sat next to him. He reached out, laying his hand palm up on the table, and she placed hers in it. Vasile gave it a squeeze as he looked into her gentle yet fierce gaze.
“I am glad you returned unharmed.” Her voice trembled slightly.
“I would not dare disappoint you, Mina.” He smiled, though he didn’t feel like it, hoping to reassure her. He could feel her trepidation about another traitor through their bond, and he wanted to ease her worry.
“How are we supposed to trust our pack? And why did Peri abandon you in the middle of a battle?” she asked after several minutes of them simply staring at one another, as though they were afraid the other would disappear if they looked away.
“The only reason Peri would have left was if she needed to protect the healers. They are still dealing with Volcan. We knew her ability to be with us might be short lived because they are her first responsibility, at least for now. Once they’re safe, I’m sure she and Lucian will return to us.
“Alston attempted to put doubt in our minds, and some may be buying into his lies, but we have known Perizada for a very long time. We know her character, the responsibility she feels toward those who are under her protection. We have to trust that she is doing what is necessary. I do not believe she would abandon us, no matter how much the odds might be stacked against us.”
Alina bit her bottom lip as she seemed to think over his words. Then she nodded. “What about the traitor?”
“We can’t begin assuming everyone is the enemy,” he said gently. “If we start looking at one another with suspicion, we will not be able to fight side-by-side. We won’t be able to function as one, and, in order to win against Ludcarab, Alston, and whomever else they have leading their evil army, we have to be united.”
“But how can we be united if we have traitors living inside our walls?” Alina growled in a low voice. His mate was a force to be reckoned with. Even with her gentle spirit and loving heart, she wouldn’t hesitate to bury a blade in their enemies’ gut.
“We wait,” he said simply and knew she was not going to like his answer.
“My daughter-in-law is right,” Alina huffed. “Waiting sucks.”
“How are you?” Vasile asked her at the mention of Jacquelyn.
“I’m worried, but I cannot let it consume me, or I won’t be able to function. If I cannot function, then what good am I to anyone?”
“We will get them back.” He swallowed down his own emotions. He hadn’t let Fane see the rage boiling in his blood when he’d seen Slate, his grandchild, and Jacquelyn, his son's mate, in the hands of their enemies. It had taken everything in him to get his wolf to leave. The moment Fane had said he wasn’t leaving the United States, Vasile had known he wouldn’t fight his son on that point. The alpha would have felt the same way if it had been Alina and Fane who’d been captured. But Vasile couldn’t stay. He had to check on their pack and his mate. He needed to reassure her that he was fine and be there for her during this time because despite her words, he could feel her agony.
“How is Fane?” she asked. He knew this was the one question that had been burning inside of her, but she’d set it aside so that Vasile could do what needed to be done in addressing the pack.
“He is holding it together. Decebel is with him, and Dillon is a strong alpha. He will be able to help keep Fane calm if it comes to that.”
“We should be with him.”
“Probably, but we are needed here more. Fane is a grown man and strong. He has persevered through many trials with his mate, and he will get through this one.”
She nodded. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
Vasile pulled her hand until she was standing and then tugged her into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. He breathed her scent in deep, and his wolf practically hummed his approval. There was nothing that could bring him peace like the scent and touch of his female.
“I am proud of you, Mina,” he told her. “You held this place together even knowing that those you love were taken. You could have demanded a fae take you to where we were, but you chose to be here for the pack. I know that was a difficult decision.”
She leaned against him. “That’s what people who are responsible for others do. We lead even when we would rather be somewhere else. We give even when we feel like we have nothing left to give. We love even if our arms are tired of offering comfort. And we listen to the worries of our pack, even if we are going deaf inside because our own fears are screaming at us. It’s not something I would wish on anyone.”
He chuckled. “No, being an alpha is not an easy job. Being any kind of leader, king, president, or whatever title it is given is not always a blessing. It is an honor, but not necessarily one that I always feel honored for receiving.” He let his emotions flow through the bond because his mate was the one person he could share that with. She was the one person with which he didn’t have to be alpha. He could simply be a mate, a father, a grandfather, and a friend. He wasn’t required to put on the emotional armor that he donned in front of his pack so that they would feel he was strong enough to handle all that they were facing. Here, he didn’t have to have a plan for every scenario.
“The Great Luna put you in this position for a reason,” she said. “But I was dragged along because I’m your mate. I think I should be the one who gets to complain.”
“Complain away, my love,” he said, pressing a kiss to her neck. “I’m your willing servant and will listen for however long you need.”
“And that is why you are alpha.” She raised her head and looked at him. “Because you give even when you need to receive.” She stood from his lap and pulled on his hand. “Come.” She motioned toward the entry of the hall. “You need rest. I can always complain tomorrow. That’s the amazing thing about the female mind. We may forget many things, but never what it is that we need to complain about.”
Vasile laughed as he stood up. “I’m not about to comment on that.”
“Another reason you are alpha, because you are so wise,” she teased. “Let’s get you showered and rested. There will be very little of the latter in the coming days.”
Vasile followed his mate. He would follow her anywhere, but especially into the shower, which sounded like a very nice ending to a rough day. He sent up a prayer to the Great Luna that his pack members who had been taken were safe and that his son would keep his wolf under control. There was nothing more Vasile could do, no matter how badly his wolf wanted the blood of those who had hurt the ones he loved. He simply had to come up with a plan and bide his time.
“How is our child?” Drake asked as he laid his hand on his mate’s stomach. It had only begun to show a slight roundness, but he couldn’t wait until he saw her swollen with their pup. There was no greater gift than that of a child. Their race was finally beginning to flourish again. Even in the midst of all the evil they were facing, it was still a joy that couldn’t be stifled.
“Warm and cozy, I imagine,” Bethany said as she snuggled closer to him. She hadn’t left his side since he’d returned from Arizona. The only time she’d stopped touching him was when he’d taken a quick shower to wash away the remnants of the battle, and even then, she’d stayed with him in the washroom. The mountain keep had everything they needed, even if the conveniences were not traditional. There were showers, but they were communal, carved out of the stone walls, powered by natural springs piped in from the base of the mountain. There were several throughout the corridors that had to be shared. But it was better than having to go wash in a river.
His mate was quiet as they laid on the bed in their assigned room. Again, nothing fancy. Just a small space carved into the stone with a wooden door. She played with his fingers, running hers in and out of his as her head lay against his chest. He could feel through their bond that her thoughts were a jumbled mess, and her emotions were all over the place. Drake guessed some of that might be the emotions from the pregnancy. But he was going to have to ask if he wanted to understand what else was causing the chaos.
“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
She shrugged.
“Talk to me, Bethy,” he said gently, though it was definitely a demand. They’d already done the whole poor communication thing, and they weren’t going down that route again.
“It feels selfish,” she said.
“What?”
“It seems so petty when there are such major things going on.” He heard her breathing hitch as though holding back tears. Then he got a clear thought through the bond.
“You’re worried this is where our child will be born,” he said. “That he or she will come into this world inside a mountain stronghold because we are at war, and the joy of having a child will be overlooked by the horror of our enemy.” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “Baby, that’s not selfish. Having a child, especially for our race, is a big deal. And I can understand why it is bothering you. I don’t want our child born into war, but we may not have a choice.”
“I know,” she said against his chest. “I will be happy no matter how or where it happens. I just wish that it could be a time when we weren’t having to hide away because of the danger. It seems like I can’t catch a break when it comes to being in danger.”
His heart broke for his precious mate. She’d been through unimaginable hell when she’d been held captive by the vampires, and now here she was having to face the reality that it wasn’t over. The vampires hadn’t been eradicated, and not only were they still alive and well, they had an army of other supernaturals who were fighting by their side.
“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Drake said, feeling his wolf push at his skin. His wolf didn’t like it when their mate was afraid. She shouldn’t have to be afraid. They should always be able to provide and protect her.
“I know.” She yawned. “I won’t let anything happen to you either.”
Drake smiled. Not that he’d ever let her go into battle of any kind, but it was sweet that she wanted to protect him. It felt good to know someone wanted him safe.
“Beating the crap out of all of our female warriors isn’t going to get Jacque and Slate back,” Cypher said as he walked into the training room. As soon as they’d returned to their home, Lilly had marched straight to the room, not even bothering to clean up, and demanded that the female warriors meet her in the fighting ring. One-by-one, she’d been picking them off. She was growing stronger as she learned how to use her sprite power. Being a seer didn’t mean all she could do was see the future. She was strong and had amazing coordination. Cypher couldn’t deny the fact that she’d been a quick learner once he’d started training her, and she was becoming a force all her own.
“It’s better than just sitting and doing nothing,” she said and then growled, “Next.” Another female jumped up and hurried into the ring. Lilly moved in a slow circle while the female, Straya, moved with her. Lilly struck first, leaping forward and landing a solid kick to Straya’s midsection. The female doubled over and backed up, but she didn’t go down. Lilly kept moving forward until she had a hand on Straya’s shoulder, and then Lilly pushed a pulse of magic into the female. It wasn’t enough to do serious damage, but it had the other woman groaning in pain.
Straya punched Lilly in her unprotected side, and as soon as she was out of reach of Cypher’s mate, she turned and dropped to the ground, swinging out a leg, attempting to take Lilly to the ground. But the queen anticipated it and jumped up before the leg could make contact with her ankles.
Lilly swung around as soon as her feet were back on the ground and pounced onto Straya, who was still crouched. Lilly knocked the woman on her back and fell on top of her. In the blink of an eye, Lilly had a blade at her throat. Cypher hadn’t even seen her pull the blade from her boot.
“I yield,” Straya said.
His queen stood and offered the woman her hand, pulling her to her feet. As soon as her mouth opened to call the next woman, Cypher spoke up. “Enough.”
Her head snapped around to look at him. His eyes narrowed on her. She might be the queen, but he was king, and his word was final.
The women stood and bowed to their queen and to Cypher as they filed out of the room, all looking very tired. Lilly slid the blade back into her boot and then let her head fall back as her eyes closed. Her shoulders rose and fell as she panted. She was so tired, and yet he knew she wouldn’t be able to rest. But she needed it.
“Come,” he said to her. “You need to eat, and a bath would probably be good, considering you smell like a corpse.”
She turned to glare at him. “How am I supposed to eat when they have her and Slate?”
“How is starving yourself and depriving your body of rest going to do them any good?” he challenged.
“I don’t know,” she bit out. “I feel like I don’t deserve those things. She’s being held captive and yet I get food and a bed.”
“You don’t know that they aren’t giving her food and a bed as well.”
“Really, Cypher?” She rolled her eyes. “Because kidnappers are always so accommodating.”
“The Order took them because they wanted to control us. They have no reason to hurt them unless we don’t do what they want. They haven’t made any demands yet. So until that happens, it stands to reason that they will be safe.” Cypher wasn’t completely sure that what he was saying was a hundred percent accurate, but he wasn’t about to share his doubts with his mate. She was already acting unreasonable. If he even hinted that Jacque and Slate were in a minute amount of danger, she’d be headed straight back to Arizona.
She sighed as her shoulders dropped and the fight left her. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Then let me take care of you so you don’t have to make any decisions right now. You know that as soon as we have a plan, you will be at my side, and we will get them all back. But like Vasile said, we have to be smart about it. We can’t just go running into danger and not have a plan, or we will get them and us killed.”
“I guess you’re right,” she growled. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”