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Two days later, Pip made friends with one of the stragglers of a caravan of entertainers.
“Why did it have to be entertainers?” Crispin asked me as Taffy and Turnip fell into step next to each other. This riding configuration had happened more often of late than any other. Crispin blamed it on the animals, but I wasn’t as confident in that assessment.
“What is so bad about entertainers?”
Crispin’s gaze didn’t waver from his fixation on the bent heads of Pip and his new friend as they whispered about something. “There is nothing wrong with entertainers; it is just the nature of their profession. They travel from court to court, festival to festival. Falling in with them wouldn’t exactly make us inconspicuous.”
“Ah, but perhaps it would if we made an effort to fit in.” I laughed softly at his skeptical glance my way. “Patience, I have a point.”
“I figured you did. Pray explain.”
“Entertainers are one of those groups of people that pass through crowds, both seen and unseen. The revelers remember the clown’s antics, not his face. They gawk at the sword swallower’s skill, but rarely recall his voice or his hair color. We could move about without being marked. Don’t the masters of disguise say there is safety in numbers?”
Crispin’s usually pleasant features tightened as he fixed me with an unnerving stare. “What masters are you referring to? And how did you learn anything about their philosophies? You could not possibly be suggesting we join the group ahead of us.”
“That is exactly what I am suggesting.” I ticked off the reasons on my fingers. “Our pursuers, should there be any—”
“There will be some. You can count on that.”
“All the more reason to disguise our numbers among a larger group. Worthenave’s men will be seeking a woman alone.”
“Or a woman, man, and young lad traveling together.”
“Exactly!” I gestured toward Pip ahead of us. “We can’t hide what we are. And then there is the matter of food. We can’t continue on as we are. Villagers will note us passing through, mind our purchases, and possibly report it.”
“Exactly my point from before.”
I acknowledged his point with a nod. “Then, you can see how traveling with the larger group will help with that.” I studied his thoughtful features. He was listening.
“If we did do as you are proposing, what story will we give them?”
“I could be a merchant’s daughter traveling home to visit the bedside of her dying father with a servant and a bodyguard to keep her safe.” I had been mulling over options for hours, and this seemed like the most harmless and believable.
“Even a merchant’s daughter wouldn’t be traveling so far without more guards than one. She would be vulnerable to attack.”
“All the more reason to join a larger group,” I pointed out with a grin.
Crispin’s grimly set mouth clearly indicated his lack of enthusiasm, but he didn’t immediately tell me it wasn’t a possibility.
We traveled on for a few minutes in silence. Only the sounds of the horses interrupted my internal second-guessing as he mulled. I chanced a glance his way.
Crispin rode straight, confident, and at ease in the saddle whether he was lost in thought or not. Still, despite his apparent attentiveness to the trail before us, his rich brown eyes were slightly unfocused. Also, his grip on his mount’s reins grew lax, allowing the horse to choose the route. It was good that Pip rode before us, and Taffy showed no inclination to waver to one side or another.
“I agree.” Crispin’s voice surprised me out of my study of his hands.
“To what?”
His eyebrows rose unevenly as he turned to eye me quizzically. “To joining the party ahead of us.”
“Really?”
He laughed softly. “Why so shocked?”
“You...” How could I say this tactfully? “You didn’t appear pleased with the idea.”
“I don’t really like crowds. I am not much of a joiner.”
“With eleven brothers?” I gestured toward where Pip was chattering away to his new friend. “What about picking up urchins?”
Crispin’s mouth quirked up to one side. “I think that is more of him joining me than the other way around.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Don’t go pretending that you didn’t offer Pip a job. He told me you practically begged him to join you.”
He laughed and then coughed. “Hardly. When I caught his hand in my pocket and picked him up by the back of his shirt, the boy practically begged to be adopted. He had a sob story that I still suspect was half fibs and the rest outright exaggeration.”
“So what made you agree to it?”
“He was starving to death.” He said it in the low-key way of his, but something in his voice prompted me to glance over in time to catch the flicker of anger pass over his features.
“So you took him in like a poor abandoned little bird?”
He laughed outright at that. “Little rat or weasel more like. He works hard, though.”
“At least at everything except for his letters.”
Crispin grimaced at that. There had been no opportunity to work on anything beyond travel or survival needs since we left Worthenave. Practicing lettering and reading definitely didn’t fall under either of those categories.
We rode in silence for a few moments before I deemed it time to bring up the subject that had been worrying at my newfound confidence in traveling for the past day.
“What should I expect to happen when we reach Brackenhurst?” Afraid to glance over at Crispin, I forged on without a pause. “I mean, you said something about the duke having a large library that might need an organizer or him finding me another occupation, but I mean beyond that. I can’t keep a library my whole life. And there is the issue of my identity and my family, should they still live.”
Crispin cleared his throat, interrupting me. I clamped my mouth closed to prevent any further outbursts and willed that the heat flushing my face would fade quickly.
“So, you do want to discover who your family is?” he asked as calmly as though we were discussing the clouds or the possibility of rain.
For the first time, I admitted it out loud. “I do.”
“I am glad.”
I waited for him to add more, but he didn’t. A heavy, almost expectant silence fell between us.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. “How are we going to find them?”
Crispin smiled. “I plan on beginning with speaking with Brackenhurst. He knows much more about the families of power in the duchies than I do. Also, his genealogies, censuses, and surveys are far more complete than even the Duke of Worthenave’s. If he knows of anyone who had a daughter born about the time we estimate you were, we can contact them and verify that their daughters are safe or not.” He met my gaze. “We will do everything we can to find them.”
“And why do you want to find them?”
He studied me for a moment, almost as though searching for something. “For you.” Then, he closed his mouth tightly as though preventing more from slipping free. Abruptly looking away, he fixated on Pip and the lad’s new friend. “If we want to join the entertainers’ camp tonight, we should probably make our request. Do you want to tell Pip, or shall I?”
“You may.”
As he urged his horse forward, I mulled over the end of our exchange. He was hiding something, but what? I studied the back of his golden-brown head as I speculated.
~~~~~
WE JOINED THE ENTERTAINERS’ group, and our routine changed drastically, as I suspected it would.
Pip fell in with the boys with far more enthusiasm than a self-professed non-joiner should. I didn’t begrudge him his sudden joy in being connected. The lad’s life needed more belonging.
Ryda had disappeared into the company with all the other women in the group. In my temporary role as her guard, I had been assigned duties similar to the hired guards of the group. I drilled, practiced with weapons, discussed strategy for keeping the group safe, rode as an outrider, and otherwise became a common man-at-arms. One advantage of my switch in roles was that I fell onto my pallet exhausted every night and slept heavily until my next shift. The disadvantage became the lack of mental stimulation. All the activity left plenty of room for my worries to roam through my thoughts.
What would happen when we reached Brackenhurst? Would we find her parents? What would I do if we did? I couldn’t see myself leaving her in Brackenhurst when I returned to Areyuthia. However, if we discovered that her parents were nobles, I would be required by my promise to my father to do just that. As much as I had grown in my affection for Ryda, I couldn’t allow myself to let it grow beyond friendship, at least not until I knew if there was hope or not.
Still, I would catch myself watching her, especially when the sunlight caught in her hair as she bent over the washing by the stream. The sound of her laughter always brought my head around. And I found myself watching for the graceful stride of her walk as she crossed the camp each morning and evening. More than anything, though, I missed her conversation. I longed for her teasing and prodding or intelligent questions.
Between the absence of her voice and lack of Pip’s chatter, I felt genuinely lonely for the first time since I had met Pip. So it came as a pleasant surprise when a week after we joined the group, Ryda stepped out of the evening twilight and joined me at my post at the camp’s edge. She wore a borrowed bliaut belted at the waist and hitched up to one side, revealing a familiar kirtle. I had packed it before our adventure began.
I paused in rubbing the whetstone along the edge of my knife as she settled on the ground at my side. She didn’t speak at first. Instead, she leaned back on the heels of her hands as she gazed up at the growing darkness.
“I never knew how beautiful the sky could be.”
I looked up as well. “It is hard to appreciate it when one can only see a small square of it.”
“Did you know that none of the girls in the camp know any of the constellations’ names?”
I smiled. “I doubt any of the men do either.”
She flashed me a grimace before returning her attention to the sky. “How is Pip doing?”
“I am not sure I know for certain.” I returned to sharpening the weapon in my hands. “I haven’t spoken to him much of late, but he seems pretty happy as he runs about with the other boys.”
We sat in companionable silence for a few moments as I scraped at the metal. Then, when I was content with the sharpness, I set one weapon aside to pick up another.
“The group leader spoke to me today.” She played with the fraying hem of her kirtle. “We will reach the edge of the Brackenhurst region tomorrow. The company plans to continue on without going to the capital. He asked when we wished to part to go our own way.”
“Tomorrow would be good, then. We don’t want to travel too far off course.”
She nodded. “He also said that a couple of armed men have been wandering around and asking questions.”
Keeping my voice calm and steady, I asked, “What kind of questions?”
“If any of them had seen a woman traveling alone or with a man. They didn’t ask about Pip for some reason.”
“They might have been looking for someone else.” Pointing out the possibility did nothing for my peace of mind, but it might help Ryda’s, or so I hoped.
“I doubt it.” She pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. “Not many women travel alone, and those who do are most likely not wanted by a duke.” She rested her chin on her knees and tucked her skirts around her ankles. With her hair tumbling about her shoulders in a waterfall of golden-honey curls, she was temptation personified. I longed to reach out and catch one of those loops of silk on my finger. I knew from experience that it felt even softer than it looked.
When I pulled my gaze up to her face again, I found her watching my features. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.
“How we are going to make it from the border to Mereline without running into those armed men you spoke of.”
Her gaze narrowed in disbelief, but she didn’t call me on my bluff. It wasn’t a complete lie. I had also been mulling that, just not with much of my attention.
“I have missed you.” She offered me a warm smile. “The other women are interesting and amusing, but they aren’t interested in discussing Saruthian poetry or tracing genealogies. When I asked if any of them could read, they just laughed.”
“Most women, even noblewomen, don’t bother to learn.”
She frowned up at the sky. “I felt sorry for them. Their lives are so small.”
“Ah, but they might argue the opposite.” I nodded to one of the young mothers crossing the camp with a sleeping baby propped on her shoulder. She hummed a lullaby as she glided, swaying to and fro with her song. “Babies, children, and husbands are time-consuming endeavors.”
“True.” Her eyes softened as she watched the woman. “Am I greedy to want that too?”
“Books, translation, a husband, and children?” The image of her in a man’s arms twisted my insides. I didn’t want to envision it. “I am sure you can have it all, should the Kurios will it.”
“It is strange.” Her gaze still followed the mother. “Only a few weeks ago, I feared the prospect because it would mean that the duke had gotten his way. It would’ve meant I was trapped even more than before with vows and a child binding me to Rodney for the rest of my life.”
The mother disappeared inside one of the wagons. Ryda studied the air before her. “But something changed.” She glanced at me.
I hastily took up my work again. The swords wouldn’t sharpen themselves. “You should probably go get some sleep. We have a long and possibly rushed ride ahead of us tomorrow.”
“I thought we were friends.”
That brought up my head. My attention snapped to her. “We are.”
“Then why are you not telling me the truth?” The hurt in her eyes cut through me to my soul. I forced myself to breathe. “You are trying to distract me from something. What?”
“There are some things... Some things that I can’t speak of.”
“Because you don’t trust me?”
“No.” I met her gaze, begging her to understand. “There are things about my past that I can’t explain...yet. I promise I will, someday, but I can’t yet.”
“Why?”
“I have made promises.”
She studied my features for a long few moments before finally nodding. “If you need a listening ear, I am here.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
She nodded and smiled sadly before abruptly getting to her feet. “You are right. I should get to sleep. Rest well, Crispin.”
“You too, Ryda.”
She walked across to the unmarried women’s tent and slipped inside without looking back. I watched her go with a burning sensation in the back of my throat. I had never regretted my promises to my father so much as just then.
“Oh, Kurios, please cause her to understand. I cannot go back on my word to You or my father. Guide me, Father. Give me wisdom.”
~~~~~
THE NEXT MORNING BROKE with a rumble of thunder in the gray clouds over our heads. Beneath the ominous gray of a coming storm, we packed up our tents and gear. Ryda, Pip, and I extracted our belongings from the rest of the group’s luggage and said our farewells. The border crossroads lay only a few hours away, and there would be no time for farewells when we reached it.
Then, with a wary eye on the sky, we all set off.
When the crossroad marker came into sight at midmorning, the skies marked the occasion by opening up and dumping a deluge on our heads. The animals protested for a moment, but we continued on regardless.
By what I guessed to be midday, we spotted our first signs of civilization, a scattering of buildings along the widened trail. Then more and more appeared out of the pounding rain and mud.
Just as I was despairing of reaching the walls without having to seek shelter, the looming form of Mereline’s city walls rose out of the gloom. The drawbridge was still down, and much to my surprise, the gates were still open as we crossed toward them.
“Business?” yelled one of the guards standing in the shelter of the gatehouse.
“Crispin Winder of Areyuthia to see the Duke of Brackenhurst.”
“Right this way,” said a second man, who was dressed Brackenhurst’s livery. He caught the bridle of one of the nearby horses and guided it out from the group of five or so. He mounted in one swift movement. “Follow me, and we will get you all to the castle quickly. The duke has been expecting you.”
Before I could express my surprise, though, the man had already ridden his horse out into the downpour, and we had little choice but to follow. As we wound our way through the city streets, giving little heed to our surroundings save the man before us, I grew certain I could feel Ryda’s questioning gaze falling on me at every opportunity.
Finally, the street widened into a vast square above which loomed the Duke of Brackenhurst’s principal residence. The rain draped it all in a haze of gray and mist, but I recalled the splendor well. Unlike the duke’s northern residence, this castle boasted more towers than Worthenave’s onion-domed city. Turrets manned by more guards than I could count were guarded by numerous gargoyles spouting runoff water. As we approached, our escort hailed the attention of the guards at the gatehouse. Before we reached it, the massive doors had been wrestled open. We were waved through.
“He wasn’t kidding about being expected,” Pip commented over the roar of the rain. “You didn’t tell me you knew a duke.”
I didn’t bother to comment back. Now was not the time for conversation.
We filed through two baileys before a host of stable boys converged on the horses, claiming bridles and urging us to dismount. I complied and turned to check on Ryda. She still clung to the saddle. Eyes wide and face pale beneath her hood, she flinched away from the stable boy who was offering to help her down.
“Let me.” I motioned the lad aside and offered my hands instead. These she eagerly accepted, grabbing my sleeves as I lowered her down.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered. If I hadn’t been leaning in to ensure that her feet had indeed settled on the ground, I would have missed her words.
“You are safe.”
She shook her head, tightening her grip on my cloak and dropping her head forward so I could see only the top of her rain-soaked hood.
“Too similar to Worthenave?” I asked.
She nodded without revealing her face.
“Ryda, look at me.”
With obvious reluctance, she complied. Her wide green eyes met my regard. “I can’t go back.”
“We aren’t in Worthenave.”
“I know, but—” She struggled to speak for a moment. “I can’t go back.” Helpless in her fear, she closed her eyes. Tears mingled in the rain on her upturned face.
“I promise you that you are safe here. Brackenhurst is nothing like Worthenave. He will never hold you against your will. In fact, I hope he will help us find your family.”
She nodded. “I understand it in my head, but my senses are not listening.”
“Are you two going to come in out of the rain or not?” a distant male yelled.
Across the bailey, the main doors of the keep stood open, and a tall, lean form that I knew was most likely Brackenhurst himself waved at me to come. I had to get her out of the rain for both of our sakes. A quick glance around revealed that Pip had disappeared, probably going with the horses. I gazed down into her eyes again. “I am going to carry you.”
Before she could protest, I picked her up and cradled her against my chest. With a whimper, she hid her face against my cloak as I strode toward the keep doors. She needed to be dry, warm, and fed. The panic would pass, but chances of her growing ill grew by the minute.
Within moments I was through the door, and Brackenhurst himself was pulling it closed behind me with his one good hand.
“The fire laid in the great hall hearth is ablaze. You know the way.” A lithe man with a scarred and dark intimidating appearance, Brackenhurst moved with a pronounced limp and a cane. Regardless, he strode across the foyer into the great hall ahead of me, bellowing for blankets and wine. Servants hurried this way and that to respond to his bidding. Ryda, meanwhile, twisted her hands deeper into my cloak.
I eyed the heavy bench that one of the men pulled out from the wall. Considering the grip Ryda had on me and the fact she was still rigid with fear in my arms, I doubted I would be able to detach her without a fuss. Compromising, I sat on the bench with her across my knees.
“My housekeeper will be here in a moment with dry clothing for you.” Brackenhurst eyed Ryda. “You look about the size of my wife. I am sure we can find you something to change into.”
“Thank you.” I nodded to him.
The duke just stood there for a few moments studying Ryda. “What did you find?” he finally asked me. He lowered himself into a cushioned chair across from me with a grimace that betrayed the pain he hid so well. He rested his right hand and the stump of what was left of his other hand on his lap, a picture of ease.
“A puzzle.” I eased Ryda to sitting and rubbed her back.
His sharp gaze flicked back and forth between Ryda and me before settling on her again. He took in what parts of her he could see. “What kind of puzzle? Is it connected to the hunt I sent you on before?”
“She helped with that challenge, but otherwise, no.”
Ryda was relaxing slightly beneath my rubbing hand, but she hadn’t released my cloak yet.
Brackenhurst met my gaze with an amused twitch to the corner of the unscarred side of his mouth. “Should I send for Grace?”
“Why would you need to send for me when I am already here?” Lady Grace approached with a welcoming smile on her beautiful features. Her dark hair, unfashionably missing a wimple, fell about her shoulders. Slender and lovely, she was a striking contrast to her much more forbidding-looking spouse. “It is good to see you again, Crispin. Oh my, you two are soaked through.”
I stood out of habit, slipping Ryda down to standing at my side. Offering Brackenhurst’s duchess a proper bow with Ryda’s grip on my cloak and an arm around her shoulders was a trick, but I managed it.
“I already let Melly know. She is looking for clothing for them,” Brackenhurst informed her.
“My boy will be here any moment with bags,” I assured them. However, as I did, I realized Pip might just decide to remain with the horses until he was confident that they were well tended.
“Nonsense, why wait? I will take her up to my chambers to change right now.” Grace extended her hand toward Ryda. “Welcome to my home.” She met my gaze over Ryda’s head.
“Her name is Ryda.” I waited.
Ryda finally let go of my cloak. With shaking hands, she lowered her hood. Wildly mussed honey-gold hair fell out and tumbled over her shoulders. I couldn’t see her face as she stood with her back to me, but her shoulder remained tense and rigid beneath my hand. I was reluctant to drop the contact, but it was necessary to divest myself of my soaked cloak. It dripped on the stones as I handed it over to a servant woman.
“My lord and lady,” Ryda whispered before executing a wobbly curtsey. I briefly steadied her by catching her elbow, but she recovered and stepped away from me. It was almost as though she was distancing herself from me. “Thank you for offering us your hospitality.” She focused all of her words on Grace and avoided glancing in Brackenhurst’s direction.
“You are very welcome.” Grace motioned toward the grand staircase just around the corner. “Please come and follow me. I have plenty of dry clothing and a roaring fire laid in my bedchamber. We can get you dry and comfortable before rejoining the men.”
“Best meet us in my workroom,” Brackenhurst advised. “Crispin has promised me a new puzzle and new information on his original mission. We will have much to cover.”
Lady Grace eyed her husband sternly. “No starting the discussions about the genealogy question until we join you.”
“Bland exchanging of local news in the workroom until you arrive,” Brackenhurst promised.
The lady accepted his promise and escorted Ryda in the direction of the stairs. As soon as they were out of sight, though, Brackenhurst abandoned his lounging and leaned over his cane to skewer me with a stare.
“Is she the puzzle?”
I nodded. “I found her in Worthenave’s library. By my reckoning, she has been his prisoner for a decade and a half. She has no solid memories of her life before captivity, and her only clue is her name.”
“What is it?”
“Rydaria Lowellyn. She says that is the only thing she has been able to keep from her old life.”
“Corewill?” He frowned. “But could it be? Would Worthenave have dared?”
“I had the same thought. The family name is the same, but not the given name. I had thought you might be willing to contact Corewill for us.”
“Of course.” The duke nodded absentmindedly. “But what did Worthenave hope to accomplish?”
“Force an alliance, perhaps? He has been pressuring his son to marry her for years.” Anger tightened my gut at the memories of how Rodney had treated her. “Still, I suspect that would anger Corewill more than lure him into an alliance. I know I would be more inclined to declare war than peace.”
“I would expect nothing less considering the circumstances. Marriage or no marriage, a union begun thus would need to be broken up.”
“I am pleased to hear you say that. There is still a chance that Worthenave will send a party to claim her even now.”
Brackenhurst shook his head. “But to do so would be to admit his own guilt.”
Recalling the arrogant duke’s actions of the weeks I was within his walls, I doubted that would stop him in the least. “He could claim all kinds of things, and it would be her word against his.”
“Good thing she is seeking the protection of a man who weights a woman’s word as equal to a man’s no matter their rank.”
Relief flooded me. “Then you will protect her?”
“Of course!”
A servant with an armful of clothing approached and bowed. “My lord?” He glanced between us.
“Go and change,” Brackenhurst ordered. “Meet me in my workroom. Do you remember where it is located?” He waited for my nod, which I quickly gave. “Good. Now off with you. I will consult my genealogies while I wait for you to join me. Perhaps the answer to your puzzle will be a quick and simple solution.”
I prayed it would be. Rising to follow the servant, I thanked the Kurios for providing powerful and wise allies so I might still help despite my promises to my father.
