Orion!” Sage slaps my face again. “Dammit! Wake up! Don’t do this to me! You can’t do this to me!”

Now she’s shaking me. I want to answer and tell her I’m fine. At least I think I am. I’m not dead. Yet. I try to tell her that I’ll come to in a second, but I can’t. I hear sirens and know the cops aren’t far. I start coughing, and I think I taste blood. How hurt am I? I’m finally able to open my eyes, and when I do, there are blue lights surrounding us.

“Over here!” Sage yells, motioning her hand towards me.

I look over at the man in uniform walking towards me. He kneels down and moves hair from my eyes. “I’m here to help you. My name is Officer Higgins. Can you tell me your name?”

His walkie-talkie goes off, and he turns it down when I cover my ears. The sirens, the noise of cars on the busy street on the other side of the alley… It’s all too much. My head is pounding. I blink a few times and look at Sage who is sitting down with her knees pulled to her chest rocking nervously back-and-forth as she stares at me. I look back at the cop.

“Orion.” I swallow hard. My mouth is so dry. “Orion Draper.”

“Ms. Draper, I have paramedics here to help you. You were shot, and I need you to cooperate and let them help you. All right?”

I nod at Officer Higgins and try to smile at Sage but start coughing again. I wipe my mouth, and when I see blood on the back of my hand, I start freaking out. My breathing becomes fast and labored. A paramedic kneels down next to me and instructs me to calm down so it will slow the bleeding down, but he’s asking too much of me. I can’t calm down. I’m dying, and I know it.

I JERK AWAKE in my bed in my room. I don’t remember falling asleep or being brought back in here. I look at my right arm and see it’s wrapped in a bandage where the needle was. I slowly sit up, and my head spins a little. I touch my clammy hands to my forehead and wince when pain radiates from my side. I slowly lift my shirt up and see they put the stitches back in. I groan and lie back down on the bed when the dizziness becomes too much.

I wait for the room to stop spinning before attempting to sit up again. I swing my legs over the side of the bed then carefully stand to my feet. I use the wall for support as I make my way to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and let the water run over my hand until it gets warm. Once it’s warm, I get in.

I let the water beat down on my back. I try to think about nothing at all as I wash up, but it’s impossible. I want my family. I want Sage. But more than anything, I want answers. I sit down in the bathtub as water falls on me. I watch the water as it goes down the drain and imagine that the water is my life. I laugh at the image of my life going down a drain, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I laugh until I cry. I cry until I can’t cry anymore.

I turn off the water then slowly stand up. I grab the towel off the counter and wrap it around myself. When I get out, I look in the mirror. I run my hands over my face, barely recognizing the girl staring back at me. Who the hell am I? This isn’t me.

I place both hands firmly on the sink and take deep breaths as I close my eyes. I’m falling apart when I should be doing something about this. I think the problem is I don’t know what to fight for anymore or if it’s even worth it. I’m in too deep.

I get dressed and pull my hair into a wet ponytail. After I brush my teeth, I hear my door open. I peek out the bathroom and see two white suits standing in my room with their hands folded behind their backs.

“I’ll be out in a second,” I say as I get a palmful of water and put it in my mouth. I swish it around then spit. I wipe my mouth on the towel and meet them by the door.

“Where are you taking me now?” I’m in so much pain, but I do my best to hide it.

“To eat. Then it is time for your first job.”

My whole body tenses. My first job, according to Kyle, is to make my family forget me using mind control. That would be my mother and Felix since dad is gone. I swallow hard as I fight back tears.

I SIT DOWN next to Kyle and stare at the food in front of me I can’t fathom eating, knowing what I have to do after breakfast. I feel Dex, Marah, and Kyle all staring at me, but I don’t look up. I’m so broken right now; I’m in so much pain, and if I look at them, I know I’ll start crying again. I eat a little bit but only because I’m practically forced to by the Suicide Nazis. I glare at the white suits over the rim of my cup as I take a drink.

Plath walks into the cafeteria, and I set my cup down as my hands begin to shake. I fold them in my lap so no one will notice. I fear him yet feel safe when he’s near. It doesn’t make sense. Plath clears his throat so everyone looks at him. He stands in the middle of the cafeteria with a ‘more superior than you’ attitude. I almost laugh.

“Darren Sully, Hesperus Number 2, please come forward.” Plath has no expression whatsoever. I look at Kyle and Dex, but their gaze remains emotionless as well. I turn my attention to Darren as he makes his way towards Plath.

“Hesperus?” I whisper to Kyle.

“Mind control but more elite than we are. He’s been here longer than all of us,” he whispers then looks back at Darren.

He nervously tugs at the hem of his shirt, which is identical to mine, white and tight-fitting. He blinks his dark eyes as he stops in front of Plath.

“Yes, sir?” He says more confidently than he looks.

Plath reaches in his pocket, and I know what hides in there. I’m sure everyone here does by the looks on their faces. No one moves or blinks. I, however, squirm in my seat. Surely he’s not—son of a bitch! He shot him! I watch as Darren’s body falls to the floor, and blood pools around his head.

I stand forcefully to my feet, sending my chair flipping backward onto the floor. “No!” I scream and rush towards Plath before I can talk myself out of it. I swear I’m going to kill him.

My fingers only have time to brush against his jacket before I’m pulled away by white suits. I kick and scream as they drag me out of the cafeteria. I cry even though I didn’t know who he was. Darren Sully was someone’s friend, son, possibly brother.

I’m thrown into a padded room, similar to where I spent my time during the breaking process. My heart races at an erratic speed. I place my hand to my chest as I try to calm my breathing down. I sit on the floor and rest my head back against the wall. My hand then goes to my side that is throbbing.

Dammit.

I’M NOT SURE if I fell asleep or if I just closed my eyes for a few minutes, but I know some time has passed from the stiffness in my neck from being in the same position for too long. I look at the door as the knob turns. When it opens, I see his familiar black boots and faded jeans. I cringe. He shuts the door behind him and kneels down in front of me. He grabs my face with both hands and makes me face him. I keep my eyes closed tight.

“Look at me,” he says quietly.

“Go to hell.”

“Already there.”

I look at him and laugh like a crazy person. Not because he’s funny or because I’m happy, but because he is right. He starts laughing too as he lets go of my face.

“You’re insane,” I say between laughter.

“I’m not alone,” he says as his laughter fades.

I shake my head as tears fall. “No. No, you’re not.” I close my eyes again and pull my knees to my chest. “Why are you in here?”

“To determine the consequences for your actions. You had no right to stand up for him. It wasn’t your place, Orion.”

I cut my eyes at him. “Why did he get to die?”

I’m actually envious of Darren Sully. I would’ve saved him if I could have, but if he was as miserable as I am, I’m sure he would’ve been mad if I did.

“That is disclosed information.”

I scoff. “Of course it is.”

For several awkward seconds, our eyes burn into one another. Both wanting to look away but for some unexplainable, bullshit reason we can’t. It becomes so unbearable that I feel like I might burst. Finally, I gain control over my eyes and quickly point them anywhere but on him.

“I’ll talk your way out of this one,” he whispers right before he stands up. “What you’re about to do is enough punishment.”

I look up at him. “What am I about to do?”

“Felix is here. Your first job is to make him forget you. Remember, you don’t know who he is. If you-”

“Okay!” I shout as I clench my fist tight. “Just stop talking,” I say a bit quieter.

He nods, tells me I have ten minutes, and then leaves the room. When he closes the door, I scream at the top of my lungs as I wrap my arms tightly around myself. I only have ten minutes to come up with a plan. I have to get back to the place where I’m in constant survival mode. Always prepared, never intimidated, and most definitely not backed into this metaphorical corner that the Constable have me in.

Think, Orion. Think.