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Now I believe I can hear the philosophers protesting that it can only be misery to live in folly, illusion, deception, and ignorance, but it isn’t – it’s human. (Erasmus)
Carl woke up gasping for air. He clawed at the ground while his body stiffened. Awake from near-death, disorientation and nausea followed.
“Easy, easy,” said a voice from behind Carl.
Carl slowed his breath. He relaxed his muscles and focused on trying to stop the world from spinning.
“I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it,” she said, her face hovering over Carl. “Here, take a sip. But only a sip.” She handed him a bottle. “I know you’ll want to gulp it down, but don’t. You have to hydrate slowly and we need to conserve water.”
Carl only understood the gist of what she said. Instead of listening to her words, he tried to see the face of the person talking to him. Even through the merry-go-round vision that plagued him, Carl could see that she wore the most genuine expression he ever saw. Her full lips naturally curved upwards, while the folds around her mouth didn’t pull back to the corner of her face. Her eyes softened with the smile – she didn’t squint like others did.
Grunting, Carl propped himself to a seated position. He took a sip from the bottle. Expecting to taste sulfur, he was surprised to find that there was no discernable flavor. It was ambrosia, as far as he was concerned. One last gulp, then he stopped himself, taking the woman’s advice to heart. “Thank you,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” she replied. “We’ll have to keep moving as soon as you’re able to.”
Still dazed, Carl nodded. While the whirling started to slow down, he wasn’t ready to go anywhere yet. Even sitting, he felt shaky. “I’m Carl, by the way.”
“I’m Eva,” she smiled.
As a soft breeze blew, Carl realized that his shirt was off. He rubbed a hand down his chest. The tape was missing; stitches took its place, holding the wound tightly together. Carl ran a finger across the stitches. He looked towards Eva. “You fixed my cut,” he said, staring at her with parted lips.
“Yes, I hope you don’t mind. I brought a needle and some thread with me. You were bleeding all over the place.”
“Thank you,” he said. “How did you find me?”
Eva looked at the ground. “I’ve been following you for a while. I would have helped you earlier, except that I didn’t know if I could trust you. I –” she trailed off, trying to find the right words. “I ran into some trouble a few days ago. But when you collapsed, I couldn’t just leave you here.”
A smirk crept over Carl’s face. “Trouble, huh? I had a bit of trouble myself,” he joked. “I’m happy you stopped, though.”
She smiled back and sighed with relief, “You really aren’t one of them, are you?”
“You mean the people in Albany?”
“Yes, them. With those strange smiles.”
Carl let out a little laugh, “I know what you mean. Isn’t that the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Yeah,” Eva agreed. “How do they push their lips back so far? I mean, I guess that was me not too long ago.”
Carl’s grin faded. “You too? It’s strange, you know. I remember most of my life before seeing the world like this,” he spun his hand around, “but the more time goes on, the less detail I can recall. It almost feels like I spent my life dreaming.”
“Dreaming,” Eva repeated. “That’s a good way to put it. Because one day I woke up and everything was different. I mean everything. I lived in a luxury apartment, or so I thought. When I looked in the mirror, this –” she pointed up and down her body, “this skeleton was staring back at me. I hid from my daughter for days. I thought that I was crazy and everything would go back to normal, if I waited long enough.”
Even through the emaciation, Carl could see her beauty. Her green eyes were a beacon of hope for Carl – the first vision of something right in a world that crumbled around him with every step. Carl became amused by the way her hair flowed behind her, unlike the matted mess that typified everyone else he encountered since waking up at the institution.
Carl took another sip of water, then handed it back to Eva. “I collapsed at a Supreme Combat fight. The next thing I knew, I was at some place called Bedlam. The people there were –” he didn’t know how to explain. “Different. Most of them seemed normal for a bit. Then, they mentally drifted away into different places. But thanks to Chris, I was able to escape.”
“Chris?” Eva asked.
“Yeah, he’s like us. You know, the way that we see the world.”
“What happened to him?”
Carl looked away, as if he didn’t want to admit the truth. “I was pulling him out of the window when they started to drag him back in. I... I couldn’t hold on.”
Eva looked away. She didn’t have any words to console Carl. Instead, she sat next to him in solidarity. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she paused. “Do you know what’s happening? Why we are like this?”
“No, I don’t know why. I’m just doing what Chris wanted to do when we planned to leave. He seemed to think that there were answers somewhere in the north.”
“The north,” she repeated. “Is that where you were headed when I found you?”
“Generally speaking, yes. But I was trying to get to the river. I’m not sure where I am now; I was pretty confused.”
“You are dehydrated. Didn’t you bring any food or water with you?”
Carl shook his head. “No, I just ran. I was being chased out of Albany. They think that I’m an Untruther. When I got to the edge of Albany, I kept going. I didn’t want to risk being caught. What you’ve given me is the first thing I’ve had in two days.”
Eva sighed, “I ran into a similar problem. When my daughter saw me, she called me an Untruther. She was frightened and I didn’t know what to do. I tried to calm her down, but she kept on going. I heard sirens, so I started to pack water and those spongey food bricks. I left before the constables came to the apartment. I’ve been hiding since.”
“And you happened to come this way?”
“Yes, I went in the opposite direction of the sirens. Then, as I kept going, someone saw me and called me an Untruther. I heard the sirens again, which pushed me out of town. I was hiding in a ruin by the river for a few days but knew that I had to get some food, so I started walking beside the path that you were on. I saw you, so I followed from a distance. But like I said, I didn’t know if I could trust you, so I stayed away.”
Carl nodded, knowing how frightening this new world was. “I think I can stand up. I’m not as dizzy anymore.” Shifting to his knees, Carl rose, wobbling side to side. Eva quickly sprang to her feet and held his arm to steady him.
“Careful,” she urged.
“Thank you,” Carl said, straightening himself. “We’ll have to go slow; I feel so weak.”
“I don’t think the river is too far away. I’ve tried to keep tabs on it and only lost sight late yesterday. If we keep heading there,” she pointed southeast, “we should find it soon.” Eva grabbed a bag that she had stashed away.
Carl smiled at her. He was thankful that she found him, otherwise he would most likely be dead. As importantly, he was thankful to have someone with him. Since his son and Chris were both gone, the crippling loneliness had made death seem a viable option. Eva brought renewed hope.
* * *
Stripped down to her underwear, Eva splashed around in the river. She called out, “Jump in! The water’s great.”
Carl didn’t need to be told a second time. He peeled away his clothes as quickly as he could and strolled towards the water. “It’s chilly,” he said as the water crept up past his knees.
“Don’t tell me you’re complaining. It’s perfect!”
Carl laughed. “It is perfect,” he agreed. He couldn’t think of anything more perfect at the moment. Just being in the water revived him. He waded further, letting the water pool up to his chest. “Is it safe to drink?”
“I’ve been drinking it for the last few days. I haven’t died yet,” she shrugged.
Carl cupped his hands and drank in small slurps. He dunked his head under and scrubbed at his scalp. When he re-emerged, he could see a trail of filth float away. The thirst that plagued him followed behind. His attention turned to Eva as she bobbed her head under water to clean her hair. Carl smiled, thinking that she was the most beautiful person he ever saw.
The voluptuous models on the Exoche were always made up, primped, and sucked in to be made to look beautiful. But they were fake. Same with the macho-men that plagued commercials. The videos and commercials that made up the bulk of content on the Exoches never exuded any hint of sexuality, just beautiful people doing unimportant things. Not that there was much difference between the people on the Exoche and those that he saw anywhere in Albany. They also looked perfectly fake. No one had blemishes. Every individual appeared fit and healthy, hiding under rubbery grins.
Awakened, the truth unveiled itself. The people he met were hideous shells, controlled by something greater. Carl had to admit that he was once under the same influence; for all that knew, this experience could still be a part of that control.
At least here, he could see that Eva didn’t have perfect skin; sure it was pleasant to look at, but there were fine lines drawn across her face, her skin was wound too tightly across her cheeks, and her ribs stuck out too far. Still, she was entirely beautiful and real in a way that he could not have imagined before. Her imperfections made her perfect, if that was possible. Even the way she talked exuded a natural optimism that helped propel Carl forward. She brimmed with excitement and confidence, despite the hardships that she endured.
His gaze broke when a new thought crept into his mind. Is she trying to trick me? He wondered. Suspicion gripped him. Coming across another person free of the grand delusions that plagued society, out here, in the middle of this wasteland, seemed unlikely. And her timing, finding him at the brink of death, added to Carl’s reservations. He glanced back at Eva, as if there might be some answer to this question written on her. She looked too innocent, floating on her back, enjoying this moment of tranquility. Carl had a sudden urge to leave. He could be back in the fields of refuse before she even made it out of the river. It would be easy to lose her in there.
Eva straightened herself in the water and started swimming back to shore. “I think it’s going to start getting dark soon. Maybe we should get going,” she said.
His opportunity to make a clean break diminished, along with his brief bout of suspicion. Logic resumed as quickly as it left. If she was trying to trick me, why did she save me in the first place? Carl asked himself. She could have let me die. Besides, he decided, she follows my lead. He wanted to come to the river. He wanted to go north. She simply followed his lead. Carl sighed. He needed to put some trust in her.
Eva took out four large bottles, identical to the one that Carl found in his fridge when he left Albany. She passed two to Carl and they filled them up with river water. Carl said, “I wonder why the tap water tastes like sulfur and this doesn’t?”
“I’ve asked myself that same question,” Eva replied. “I can’t figure it out. But then again, none of this makes much sense.”
“No, it really doesn’t.” Carl thought for a moment. “When I was in Bedlam, Chris said that our minds were being controlled. I wonder if it has something to do with that...” he trailed off.
“Maybe. I’ve heard that before. That our minds were controlled. I just thought it was Untruther nonsense. But now I’m not so sure. It’s kind of hard to deny.”
Carl nodded. He couldn’t remember an Untruther actually saying it on the Exoche, but he did remember hearing the rumor from time to time. No one ever gave it much thought. “What I can’t figure out is why so many people thought that I was an Untruther when I went back to my apartment.”
Eva responded, “It’s like there was a switch flipped that turned us into the bad guys. How the hell does that happen?”
Carl shrugged, “That’s a good question.” He screwed the cap back on the bottle. He put it back in Eva’s bag. “Maybe those are the kinds of answers we’ll find in the north.”
“Hopefully.”
“I think we’re all set. Let’s get going.” Carl slung the bag over his shoulder.
* * *
After returning to the cleared path, Carl and Eva continued north. They could see something rising along the horizon, but the dimming sky made vision difficult. Not until they drew near the edge of town could they see scattered and devastated buildings. A replica of Albany’s outskirts.
They entered one of the ruins. “In Albany, I traveled through the streets at night. There was no one there. If we wait a little while, hopefully it will be the same here.”
Eva replied, “Okay. Let’s wait. Maybe we can try to sleep in the meantime.”
“Good idea.”
Carl closed his eyes, hoping that he would be able to get some sleep. He was both mentally and physically drained, having barely a moment’s rest over the last few days. His mind drifted, raising questions about Eva once again. Those thoughts faded quickly; exhaustion overwhelmed him. His mind blanked with the relief of sleep.
* * *
Sometime later, Eva woke him up. “We should get going. It’s dark out and I have no idea how long we’ve been asleep for.”
Still groggy, Carl agreed. A quiet yawn escaped as he sat up. He reached high, as if trying to touch the ceiling. A rumble in his stomach gave Carl an idea. “While we’re here, we should find some food. I don’t know how much longer we can go without anything.”
“I’m starving, too. I think that’s a good idea.”
They walked out of the doorless building to find a smeared moon hanging in the sky. It provided enough light that they could manage outlines of buildings and enough detail to see a few steps ahead. They walked carefully, trying to stay quiet. Eva broke the silence by saying, “I’ve never been here before. I don’t know where to go.”
“We just need to find a restaurant. We should be able to gather some food from there.”
Eva nodded, “Anything other than those mushy bricks would be great.”
Carl grabbed Eva’s arm. “Look,” he said, pointing towards a corner building with a faded burger painted on the window. “I’m not sure, but I think that kind of looks like a logo for Brave New Burger.”
Eva strained her eyes to see it. “You might be right. I sure could go for a burger right about now.”
“Me, too.”
They hurried towards the building. Carl tried the door, which, to his surprise, was open. The front part of the restaurant was empty except for a counter. Carl and Eva walked behind the counter and through an open doorway. “This doesn’t look much like a restaurant,” Carl said.
“No, it doesn’t.” Eva fumbled around the dark for a moment before finding a fridge. She opened the door and told Carl, “Uh. Maybe it is a restaurant after all.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look.” She swung the door wide open to reveal hundreds of curd bricks neatly piled on top of each other.
Carl scratched his head. “I had a feeling that’s all we would find,” he sighed. “I was just hoping for something else.”
“Yeah, I guess I was, too.” Eva thought for a moment, then added, “You know, I think this is the only food we’ve ever eaten.”
Carl nodded. She was probably right. “Well, let’s stuff as much as we can in the bag. I don’t want to come back to another town until we absolutely have to.”
They piled the bricks into the bag until it was full. They each took one more bar and unwrapped it, eating the curd on their way out. “It’s not the tastiest thing I’ve ever had, but right now it’s not bad,” Eva said.
Carl laughed, “It’ll do. I’m getting used to the texture.” Carl opened a second fridge to find bottles of water. “This is probably going to taste like sulfur, but we should drink it so we don’t dip into our supply.”
Eva nodded. They both drank as much of the brownish liquid as they could stomach before heading back into the night.
“If we continue along this street, it should lead us to the north end of town, right?” Eva asked.
“I hope so,” replied Carl. “If it doesn’t, we have no way of telling which direction to go until morning.”
Eva nodded into the murky darkness.
They continued forward. Carl scanned the streets, tension rising with each minute they spent in the town. “Do you get the feeling we’re being watched?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Something feels off.”
“Yes, it does.” He looked over his shoulder, not sure what to expect. Visibility limited them to seeing only outlines of buildings painted faintly against the darkness. “Maybe we’re just being paranoid.”
“I hope so.” Eva drew closer to Carl.
After a few more steps, Carl caught a sound hovering in the distance. Faint, like the sound of a persistent gentle breeze. “Do you hear that?” he asked.
Eva stopped to listen. “What? The wind?”
“I don’t think that’s wind. It’s too steady and doesn’t stop.”
She listened closer. “You’re right,” she replied. “What is that?”
“I don’t know, but I think we should move quicker.” He reached for Eva’s arm as he took a step forward. She didn’t budge.
“Carl, not that way.” She stared ahead. “There’s someone, or something, there.”
Carl looked but only saw outlines of buildings. “Are you sure?”
“No. But I swear I just saw eyes.”
The sound, while still distant, was undoubtedly louder. Carl had the sense that whatever that sound might be, it came for them. “Eva, we need go. Now.”
Eva nodded. “This way.” She pointed down a side street. “We’ll head down one block and then keep going in this direction.”
Carl followed. Whatever it took to keep moving. They began with a slow jog, careful to avoid the numerous pot holes. Together, they went forward, not speaking, focused on the task. When the next street appeared, they took a left, hoping that this was the correct way to go. Once on the street, the sound faded away. Carl and Eva slowed down.
He giggled nervously, “I think we’re being paranoid.”
“I sure hope so.”
Carl exhaled his worry away. Everything was going to be okay. Just keep moving forward, he told himself.
Two blocks into their trek, they found a rhythm – a fast walk that satisfied the need to move quickly and safely. With deep crevices in the road, it was tricky to navigate in the darkness. During the tense calm, Carl wanted to hold Eva’s hand. He couldn’t explain the urge. It wasn’t the same as when he wanted to hold Liam’s hand at the mall. This was different. A desire to get closer to someone in a more intimate way. He didn’t understand this desire; it was altogether foreign to him. He had never felt this need before.
“Stop,” Eva said abruptly.
Caught off guard, Carl thought that she meant for him to stop thinking about her. But then he heard it – the same sound as before – getting louder. Whatever was making the sound approached with haste. “Don’t stop,” he said. “Run.”
They bolted forward, keeping stride with each other. It didn’t matter; the sound zeroed in on them faster than they could possibly move. Within seconds, a machine hovered over them. It shot a blinding spotlight. A monotonous voice boomed, “Carl Winston and Eva Thompson, you are under arrest. Stop where you are.”
They did not stop. Instead, the spotlight allowed them to sprint, now able to see the sink holes in the road. The machine remained overtop, giving its order again, “There is no escape. Stop where you are.”
As they passed another side street, a small flame whizzed in the air, hitting the nearby ground. The flame turned into a small explosion, leaving a strip of fire to Eva’s left. From the alley, a group of people rushed out, dashing at them, screaming their vendetta, “It’s The Executioner! Get him!” Another Molotov cocktail hit the street just behind Eva. “And there’s Evil Eva. Don’t let her get away!”
The crowd filed behind Carl and Eva, giving chase like rabid dogs. Their screams for revenge echoed louder than the hovercraft above them, which lit a path for the mob to catch them.
Carl’s lungs burned again. He didn’t know how much longer he could continue. He glanced at Eva to see sweat dripping down her face, eyes squinted, mouth open, teeth bared, grunting; she couldn’t possibly last much longer, either.
The ground beneath their feet turned from pavement to gravel. Carl wanted to tell Eva that they were nearly out of the town, but he had no breath with which to talk. A sign, Do Not Enter, shone brightly against the hovercraft’s light. Past the sign, Eva stumbled forward. With her legs giving out, she slid forward. Scrambling to her knees, Carl stopped to help her up. With an arm around her, they jogged forward together.
The guiding light from above shut off. Carl turned around in time to see the hovercraft back away. Eva followed his lead and they both watched the angry mob standing at the edge of the pavement, unwilling to move past that point. The people looked ridiculous, standing at the edge of town like a group of zombies that hit an invisible wall. Eva let out a nervous laugh until coughing took over. Carl, while laughing and coughing too, waved at them. Through shallow breaths, Carl managed to say, “I guess that’s as far as they can go.”
Eva nodded, “I guess so.” She tried to laugh again.
With a last look, they walked into the dark wasteland, feeling more secure now that they knew these people wouldn’t dare pass the Do Not Enter sign. As they walked, Carl felt relieved about Eva as well. The mob and that machine were after her as much as they were after him. Any suspicions he had about her were gone.
They continued walking for a while before deciding to stop for the day. They laid down in the dead meadow and tried to get more rest.
* * *
A breeze slapped Carl awake in the chilly morning. He opened his eyes to find Eva taking a sip of water. “It’s about time,” she joked with him.
“Have you been up for long?” Carl rolled to his side.
“No, not too long. I’m ready to get going, though.”
Carl sat up, wondering where Eva found the energy to be in such a good mood. He liked that about her. It motivated him to get ready and keep on trekking down this path, which otherwise provided little hope. Without her, he wasn’t sure that he would have the will to continue, never mind that he would most likely be dead if not for her help.
Carl reached in the bag to grab a slab of curd. He broke a chunk off and gnawed at it while gathering himself. Finally, he stood, ready to go.
They continued along the path. After some time, Eva pointed to her right. “Look, there’s the river again.”
Carl found relief in seeing water. They were still well stocked, but the sight provided comfort. “Let’s hope that it stays near us. Just in case.”
Although Carl wanted to talk, he kept silent, listening for anything that sounded out of place. The only noise came from their feet crunching along the dead grass.
Gloomy day waned, turning to night. The process repeated the following day. Finally, Eva asked, “How far north are we supposed to go?”
“I have no idea. Chris never said anything specific, just that there were answers to the north.”
“Do you still believe him?”
Carl had to think. Chris was right about going to see his son. While Carl needed closure, Chris did predict the ensuing catastrophe. Plus, this ordeal about mind control, as hard as it was for Carl to believe, seemed to be true. If Chris knew about these two things, then perhaps there were answers ahead; he just didn’t know where. “I think so. He was right about other things. Besides,” he added, “where else would we go? I can’t think of anything else that we should try.”
Eva nodded. “True. There isn’t anything to eat out here and going to any town isn’t a great option,” she reasoned.
“So, we keep going north?”
“Sure. We might as well.”
Silence fell over them once again. As they walked, a childhood event churned in Carl’s mind. He decided to share it with Eva. “When I was ten,” he said, “I remember getting lost. My dad took me to the old fun park. Do you remember the one that used to be in the south part of Albany, before Untruthers supposedly blew it up?”
“No, I don’t think I remember it,” she said.
“That’s okay. It probably never existed. But anyway, I was lost and I wandered around for hours. Eventually, I was so scared that I hid underneath a game booth. I don’t know why I hid under there, but I did. I remember staying there until the place closed for the night. I stayed in that crawl space until I fell asleep. The next day I woke up in my bed. I’ve never been able to figure out how I ended up there. I guess that’s something I’ll never figure out.”
“That is pretty strange,” she agreed. In the spirit of sharing, Eva recalled her own story, “I think I was ten, too, when I had pneumonia. I don’t really remember it myself, but my mother told me that I got sicker and sicker in bed for nearly a month. By the end of it, I was nearly dead. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t eat. She had nearly lost hope because the doctors told her that there wasn’t much more they could do. But then one day, I just woke out of it. I sprang out of bed and was completely back to normal.”
Carl enjoyed sharing stories with her. He had never done that with anyone before and found the experience cathartic.
They continued to chat about their old life while walking down the path. They shared whatever stories they could remember while grey turned to black around them. Then, they returned to silence while black made its shift to grey, walking toward the bleak horizon, hoping for change. Both Carl and Eva began to doubt that there was anything in the north. Even though Chris was right about what lay in Albany, Carl wondered if this journey was the hope of a madman. The hope to find answers in a world where there were none. Carl wondered if maybe this was an inescapable dream and his body lay in his bedroom, waiting to be awakened.
There was still nothing on the horizon as dusk fell. Carl quietly ate and drank, noting how quickly their stash dwindled. In another day, two if they were careful, they would be out of supplies. He thought that they should consider making another trip to the river tomorrow and talk about where they were going to get more food. Fatigue washed over Carl; sleep came quickly.
* * *
When Carl woke up, he didn’t see Eva. The food and water sat tucked in a bag next to him. Seated, he looked in every direction, figuring that she couldn’t be far away. When he couldn’t see her, irrational fear swelled. Did she run away? He wondered. Did someone take her?
Carl scrambled to his feet, calling out, “Eva!” He left the bag behind, running from one side of the path to the other. “Eva!”
He ran ahead, continuing in desperation. “Eva!”
No. She can’t be gone. Why? No. She has to be here. Has to be. “Eva!” Carl ran up the incline in the path. “Eva!”
“Carl,” she called back, “over here.”
Carl continued up the slope. He came to a quick stop at the apex where Eva stood, looking down a sharp decline, which smoothed out into a valley. When she heard Carl coming her way, she said, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. I just can’t believe this.”
Carl stood with his mouth wide open. To one side of the valley were acres upon acres of green plants, which stood in stark contrast to the grey behind them. In front of the plants, pools of water and trees outlined the farm. A building of some sort stood to the left. To Carl, it looked out of place.
“Do you think this is what we’ve been looking for?” Eva asked.
“I’m not sure,” Carl said, still staring at the scene. “I guess there’s only one way to find out.
Eva nodded.
“I’ll go back to get the bag.”
