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The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. (Bruce)
“How did you get out?” Carl asked. It felt like hours had passed while they sat quietly in the darkness, waiting, ensuring that the machines were long gone before speaking. Eva ran her hands across the ground, trying to find the bag with water and soybeans. She wanted a drink, cursing the beans for her upset stomach as she plunged her hand in the bag for a bottle.
“I wasn’t far behind ya,” Chris explained. “After the orderlies yanked me back in, they dragged me through the common area and threw me on the ground. They waited until I could walk – guess these bones are too heavy for’em. Anyway, they marched me down this hall I’d never seen before and I saw daylight outta door. So, I grabbed one-a them lightning rods from the sons-a-bitches and shocked the hell outta them,” he laughed. “Then I ran for it. I looked for ya, but I couldn’t find ya anywhere. So, I found a path north. Looks like you took my advice and did the same thing.”
Carl pondered the story for a moment. Running out the door sounded much easier than the chaotic plan that eventually awarded his escape. Carl rubbed his shoulder, feeling the ridges and scabs that were healing, happy that none of the cuts, especially the large one on his chest, became infected. “It took me a while to get this far. I didn’t listen to you. I went to find Liam. You were right, that was a mistake.”
All three crawled back toward the entrance. Carl filed out first, with Eva right behind him. Finally, Chris emerged from the cave, squinting at how bright it was outside, despite the fact that the clouds and haze continued to hang low. “Well, I hate to say that I told ya so, but –” he trailed off, digging in his backpack. “I s’pose I can understand. He was yer son and all.”
“At least I got to say goodbye.” Carl stared into the distance. “After that, I ran north. Then, if it wasn’t for Eva I’d be dead.”
Eva smiled at him, “I’m glad I found you. I had no idea where I was going.”
“I’m glad you found me, too,” he laughed, feeling more at ease.
“Well aren’t you two a couple-a love birds? Let’s not get too happy yet.” Chris found the sheet of paper that he was looking for in his backpack. “I saw a map in that factory down there and I drew some of it out. There isn’t much detail to go by, but if we head north-east, there should be a government building.”
Carl looked at the piece of paper. “I saw that same map on a screen in Agriculture’s building.”
Chris’ head snapped to Carl. “You went in there?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Isn’t that a government building? No wonder why the troops were after ya.”
“We didn’t know that when we went in. Besides, I don’t think Agriculture meant for us to get caught. She didn’t even know that we were fugitives.”
“Agriculture?” Chris nearly shouted. “Agriculture? Well, la-di-fricking-da. Did you have tea with it?”
Eva stepped in, “We were looking for answers. Isn’t that what we’re doing out here?”
“Listen, sweetheart, I’m here to fix whatever the problem is. Going to chat with a farm computer isn’t my way of doing that.”
Carl was taken aback by Chris’ attitude. He certainly didn’t act like this at Bedlam, but maybe being in the middle of nowhere, all alone, proved difficult for him. “Chris, we’re on the same side. It’s okay.”
Chris sighed, “Yer right. I just can’t believe ya went in there.”
“It was a mistake.”
“Did that thing tell you what was in the northern government building?”
“No, we didn’t get much time to talk before we were chased,” Carl said.
“I once heard that all the reassigned patients end up there. That’s where the pit is. A mass grave of some kind, they said. Untruthers, too. Just a rotting sea of corpses. But who knows what’s up there. All I know is that I intend to find out.”
Carl and Eva looked at each other. “That can’t be true, can it?” Eva asked.
Carl replied, “I don’t know. I would have thought it impossible before, but now anything seems feasible.”
Chris added, “There is one other interesting thing.” He brought the piece of paper in front of them. “See this dot to the west of the government building?”
Carl nodded.
“Did you see that on the map inside that agricultural building?”
Carl tried to remember if it was there or not. “I’m not sure,” he admitted.
“Well that spot is the end-game. That’s where we want to go. We have to get to the government building first and see what we can find out, but that dot, that’s another agricultural zone. One that’s been taken over by freed people like us. I’ve heard about this place and it was on the map in the factory.”
Carl’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe that there were more people like them in this world. “How do you know that? I’ve never heard of anything like that before.”
“Before ya got to the ward, there was this guy who told me about it. Said that he was up there and had to come back south for somethin’. He never said what he was doin’ but told me about this place. They have real food. And the machines don’t go there. I didn’t believe him before, but that spot on the map is where he described it. I’m gonna check it out. I hope both of you wanna go, too.”
Eva and Carl looked at each other. A future without endless worry of starvation or capture sounded like utopia. It gave them hope. Eva spoke for the both of them, “I think we’re in.”
Chris replied, “Perfect. Let’s get going.”
* * *
Amidst the piles of decaying logs and brush stacked in long funeral pyres, breaks in the wall revealed small masses of shrubs huddled together, as if trying to get warm. After visiting Agriculture, Carl wondered more about the landscape. He wanted to know more about the war. Why was it fought here? Where did the attacks take place? Who made these piles of brush that outlined the pathway? Did the entities use slave labor from the cities? The thought that people could be used for these jobs without ever realizing it made Carl recoil, believing the scenario to be both plausible and disgusting.
Disgust. That’s what he felt. An intense disgust for the possibility that humans were enslaved. Even if the machines didn’t physically enslave people, their minds were subjugated. He had known disgust before, but only in minor, insignificant ways. Like when a Supreme Combat fighter bled all over the ring. When he saw something like that, it was disgusting, but only in a, hey look, that’s pretty gross kind of way. And then he’d cheer for them to do it again. This new form of disgust made him foam at the mouth; it gave him the desire to find the source of this illusion and end it. While the general population had no control over what was going on, a small flame, fueled by disgust for these lies, sparked the need for Carl to take action.
Other emotions also grew with intensity. Fear, which clung to his chest in a vice and tightened until breathing became difficult. And panic, during those moments when he was chased. Panic drove adrenaline through his system, allowing him to flee faster and further than his frail body should. Even when all was quiet, he felt as if there was some unknown enemy stalking him. Enemy. The word rolled around in Carl’s head as he tried to determine its exact meaning. There were no enemies in his past life, just other people that lived alongside of him. They weren’t his enemies, nor were they his friends.
Carl found a small yellow flower growing on the tip of a bush. A welcome splash of color against the otherwise bland canvas. He doted on its beauty. The delicate petals shone brighter than the sun, which was still a hazy orb dangling above him. Carl bent down and put his fingers under the blossom. He pinched at the stem, ready to snip it away from the bush. Instead, he released the bloom, deciding that it should grow on its own. There was no need to take control of its destiny. Besides, he had a more beautiful flower to observe on this journey: Eva.
As Carl left the bush, he found himself several feet behind Eva and Chris. He picked up his pace to catch up, using the interlude to think about how much he admired her. Without her, it would be so easy to lay on his back and wait for the machines to pick him up. Or merely wait out death. This journey would be pointless without her. When he needed to see it the most, her brilliant smile alleviated whatever misery lay in front of him. That smile, which he could feel even when she wasn’t looking at him, made him beam back. While still a few paces behind her, Carl inadvertently found himself mimicking her, lips absent-mindedly curling upward.
Even when they sprinted away from danger, her presence gave him focus and purpose. It was meaning in a time of unreason – a way to find happiness and hope in a bleak world comprised of half-understandable, grim truths. Escape from a dangerous situation became an accomplishment because it meant they would spend another day together.
If it wasn’t for Eva, Carl thought that maybe it would be better to live in the posh, fake world. It was an easier life, even if it wasn’t real. There was comfort – albeit a deceitful comfort. He didn’t know which was worse: dealing with starvation and the constant threat of capture, or trying to keep his new, incredibly intense emotions in check. The steady bombardment kept Carl in a constant state of turmoil. But even within those wild emotional swings, his feelings for Eva made the rest okay. That single sentiment made this bleak world an easy choice.
And while it was nice to see Chris again, he couldn’t help but think that his presence might be problematic. He wanted Eva to himself. Seeing the two of them together, only a few steps ahead, brought a strange anger, one that he couldn’t explain. He had never experienced this type of anger before. He wanted to shove Chris aside and keep him away from her. But he was able to tame those feelings, at least for the time being.
Finally, Carl caught up to his companions. Chris and Eva silently strode along when his step met up with theirs. Eva looked into Carl’s eyes, giving him a big smile as she slipped her hand around his. All of the ache he felt about her and Chris melted away, replaced by light-headedness, like he might float away with the breeze. He smiled back at her; a big goofy grin that made Eva giggle.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” she quietly admitted.
Carl whispered back, “I’ve wanted that, too.”
No other words needed to be exchanged.
They continued in silence, enjoying the peaceful moment for what it was, until Eva began humming a tune that Carl didn’t identify for a few bars. She hummed badly out of tune, but the song sounded oddly familiar. Carl kept listening until he felt certain that it was the song that kept coming up. He joined in, humming along with her. Eva turned to smile while she continued her off-key version. Carl added a few words, “Ninety years without slumbering. Tick-tock, Tick-tock. His life seconds numbering. Tick-tock, Tick-tock.”
Eva laughed, “You know this song?”
“I keep hearing it in my head. It’s been driving me crazy. Some of the Bedlam patients sang pieces of it, too. Do you know what that song is?”
Eva became serious. “No. I only heard it when I woke up, after all of this happened. What is it?”
“I don’t know either.”
Eva asked, “Chris, do you know that song?”
Chris shook his head, brushing off her question. “Listen,” he paused. “Do ya hear that?”
All three stopped moving. In the distance, the familiar hum of the hovercraft became noticeably louder. “We need to hide, quickly.”
Carl looked up to see a dot in the sky approaching.
“Lay down beside the piles and throw some of the brush over you,” Chris barked.
All three headed to the side of the path. While Carl found his own spot, Chris took Eva by the arm and led her to a pile of her own, throwing branches on top of her as fast as he could. When he was satisfied that there was enough brush covering her, he wormed his way beside her. The hovercraft passed by Carl’s left. They stayed still a while longer, Carl watching Chris huddle with Eva. Again, an uneasy, unknown rage gripped him while he watched the two lay next to each other. He wondered if Chris set out to make him feel like this. The way that Chris led Eva away looked intentional to Carl. While he still didn’t have the word to explain his emotion, he knew that he wanted to punch Chris in the face.
