I step out of the bathroom clean and shiny.
I keep drying my hair with a towel and sit on the couch. The Doc told us it would take a day at least to reach Olympia. So we’ve been assigned cabins and clothes. I stare at the screen in front of me, without moving. I have never dreaded anything in my short life more than what I am about to do. It was just a kiss? Ellie will understand, it’s not like I planned it.
She’s gonna kill me!
Look, there is no harm in not telling her right? What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Telling her, now that would hurt her. In fact, there’s no need for her to even know anything about Lyssa. I can just keep the whole subject to myself until we get to San Francisco and figure out how to cure everyone. Then when I go to give Ellie the treatment, I’ll confess everything. Heck, she might be so happy about the cure that she just might forgive me about the whole stupid thing, but I doubt it.
I tap the keyboard, type in the code the Doc gave me, and my screen instantly changes. I see Zack and Ellie.
Holy crap.
Ellie dashes to the desk and reaches out her left hand to me. “Oh, thank god!”
“Dude! Man, am I glad to see you!”
I smile. “Me too, pal. It’s been quite a trip so far.”
“Are you okay?”
I nod and smile warmly. I’m such a heel. Here she has been fretting about me for days and I’m off kissing girls.
I suck so bad.
“I’m fine,” I answer them, “don’t worry.”
“How’s San Fran man?”
“I’m not there yet buddy, I only just got to the boat in Vancouver.”
“Well, I’m glad you made it. I was beginning to think you got lost. We get to keep you for a while now, right?”
I swear I see Zack cringe at that, but I shake it off. “I’m afraid not. There was a problem with the ship. We’re not in any danger, but they are telling me, it won’t make it to San Francisco. So we’re going to have to walk.”
Ellie leans back and asks. “We?”
Big mistake.
I squirm in my seat. “Yeah, I found a survivor on my way to Vancouver. A—um, a girl.”
“Really? How’s that possible?”
“She said she got sick like me and got better. Now, I don’t want you to freak out, but she’s not the only survivor I’ve found out here. There’s way more than I thought. Way more than anyone thought. Some of them, well, they’re not so nice.”
Ellie folds her arms in front of her chest and doesn’t blink. “What’s her name?”
I’m dead.
“Whose name? Oh, right! Her name is Lyssa. She’s fifteen years old. She’s been alone for more than a year. No Nexus, no UNN, nothing. She was a mess when I found her. Totally helpless. I have to take care of her Ellie.”
Zack looks really happy. “Dude, you got a girl?”
I hate Zack so much right then. “No, it’s not like that.”
I know Ellie can see I’m lying. I have to come clean.
Before I can speak though, she says, “Liar.”
“Dude, you lying to us?”
My mind is reeling. It’s a good thing I just got out of the shower, otherwise they’d both see me sweating. Finally, I make a decision. “Ellie, look. There is absolutely nothing going on. She is just a stray kid, I swear. When I found her she was living in the mud. Might’ve been covered with her own feces, by the smell of her, I wouldn’t have put it past her.”
Ellie spins away.
But Zack has a big smile across his face. “So you got yourself a girl!”
Friggin’ Zack.
If he were in the room right now I would have kicked him in the balls repeatedly until he passed out. “No Zack. I told you she smelled like a pig farm when I found her.”
Zack starts laughing. “Look at him squirm! He’s got a girl!”
“Zack if you don’t shut the hell up I’m cutting off your feed to Ellie and me. And you can spend the rest of your life counting dust mites till you slit your wrists.”
Ellie spins back. “Dorian!”
I look at Ellie and then back at the horrified look in Zack’s eyes.
“Man, I’m sorry, Zack.”
Zack is white as a ghost, and spits back, “You’re sorry? You’re sorry, that’s it? You threaten to sentence me to become death rolled over and I’m just supposed to say, ‘No worries?’ Good old reliable and lovable Zack, huh?”
I lower my head. “Look, this doesn’t excuse what I said, but I’ve been through a lot the last couple of days and I’m not quite myself.”
Zack laughs. “Really? Dude, I’ve been slowly starving to death for the last six months, so I’m not quite myself either! Or has it been nine months, I can’t keep track.”
I rest my head in my hands. Maybe I should just come clean. Just come right out and tell Ellie the truth. I’ve already dug myself a big enough hole trying to lie. Seems logical that the only way out is through the truth.
I sigh. “Look—” I start.
I raise my eyes and I see the anger and concern on Ellie’s face and lose my resolve.
“Look, all I can say is I’m sorry. Not only would I not do that, but even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know how.”
Zack folded his arms across his chest and spun so his back was facing the camera. Simple but effective.
“Ellie, I’m sorry. Can you talk to him. The Doc said I could only talk to you for a few minutes. Something about how redirecting coverage was challenging over water, I don’t know what he meant. But I have to go now.”
Ellie’s eyes bug out of her head. “No!”
I sigh, feeling like a complete heel. The Doc didn’t say anything about redirecting coverage. I needed to escape and it was the only thing I could think of.
I keep telling you, I suck.
“Ellie I have to go. They’re telling me to hang up. I love you. We’ll be together soon baby, I know it.”
Ellie’s eyes were pleading as I hit the “Power” button. Then all I saw was my reflection in the blank screen. The guilt was leaking from my eyes and oozing from every pore on my face. I had never even thought to lie to Ellie before and now in the span of two minutes I lied to her twice. And it was easy. Much easier than the truth. Besides telling her the truth would only have made me feel better. It would have been selfish to tell her. If it truly meant nothing, then not telling her was the only option.
She just doesn’t need to know.
It was only a kiss... right?