David leaned back on the chaise longue and closed his eyes. Despite the upbeat music of the Latin rock band, the warm afternoon sun made him drowsy. It was already the fifth day of their vacation, but he was only now really beginning to relax. Every day he had expected some terrible traumatic reaction on either Stacey’s or Tami’s part. This trip, nearly a year after the horrible ordeal, was mainly his idea, but both the psychiatrists Tami and Stacey had been seeing thought it was a good one.
Stacey and Tami had been on their way to the Catskill resort area to join him when they were incarcerated by the Thompsons. The journey remained heavy in their minds like some decaying matter still capable of infecting good thoughts and good memories. Even though he had gone back to work on the project, it had become taboo to suggest they join him, even for a weekend. Instead, he made it his business to return home every day, even if it meant getting up extra early and driving for hours.
The doctor had told him that taking this vacation wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t need the doctor in order to come to that realization. The therapy had helped and the sleeping pills were a significant aid, but the danger of Stacey becoming dependent on either or both of them was real.
Tami had made a more dramatic recovery. With her the counseling had been very effective. Everyone he spoke to attributed that to the resiliency of youth. Nevertheless, Doctor Melissa Grayson, the child psychiatrist they used, was careful about her prognosis.
“Her terrible memories could be revived at any time. Don’t be surprised or intolerant if she refuses to be left alone or refuses to talk to certain people. They may remind her of the bad people, for reasons none of us might immediately understand. You must continually reassure her that you’ll never desert her.”
What David did notice was Tami’s unusual need to be close to either himself or Stacey for as long or as much as she could. Right after it all, she was more like a puppy turning and following either him or Stacey, no matter where they went, even if they were headed for the bathroom. If one of them left the room, she would stop whatever she was doing and follow.
Just recently she was beginning to loosen up in that regard. She permitted other things to distract her; she didn’t sit as closely, and she didn’t chase after him or Stacey if either of them went someplace nearby. It was encouraging and he thought that somehow they would survive it all.
With that in mind, he insisted they carry through on his original plan for them to enjoy the Catskill resort. He had taken his vacation time, but kept in close contact with the progress on the project. Stacey, half kidding, accused him of being deceptive.
“You don’t want to relax at the hotel; you want to be close to your sewer project.” He laughed about it and then she admitted she was using that as an excuse to avoid taking the step he had suggested. Finally, she agreed to face up to it, recognizing that David was right—it was time to kill the monsters in the mind.
In the beginning both he and Stacey were apologizing to each other for what had happened—she for taking the shortcut and not knowing enough about the automobile, and he for permitting her to make the journey in the first place. The therapist succeeded in making them both see how foolish they were. Neither bore any responsibility for what had happened. Their guilt feelings were natural but misplaced.
Even though they were affectionate with one another, they had yet to make love as passionately as they had before the ordeal. Their therapist warned them about that, too. Everything had to be done slowly, gently. Not all of the bruises were visible, but they were there and they were still painful.
Chicky Ross had visited them at the hospital, and then later, to discuss details of the subsequent investigation. But Stacey remained in her room, not wanting to hear or discuss or remember. She did hear murmurings about the fact that Irene had been institutionalized, now totally over the edge; that the coffin in the basement had been in the family for three generations, and that state investigators suspected a long line of child abuse; that there were bodies found in the well, the poor mother and child who preceded Stacey and Tami; and that the police were now looking for Arthur’s body, which they believed from information that Irene had revealed at the state hospital had been reburied…
Later that evening David had held her close. “Tell me when you’re ready. If you know, the healing might begin.”
Stacey had shaken her head. She wasn’t ready. Maybe someday but not soon.
At the dinner table in the hotel dining room, they got involved in conversations with other guests. They made some good, new friendships, and on the fourth night, they hired a hotel baby-sitter. After Tami fell asleep, they went down to the nightclub to watch the show. The baby-sitter was instructed to call them immediately should Tami awaken. She didn’t and they had a wonderful time.
Now, with two days left to their holiday, they sat by the pool. Stacey had come out of the water and was drying herself. David shaded his eyes and looked up at her. Because of the good weather they had already had, both of them, Stacey especially, had good tans. He thought she looked rather good.
“You’re a knockout in that bathing suit,” he said, a little louder than he intended.
She laughed. “David.”
“I mean it.”
She looked down at him; she shook her head and smiled. Then she looked about. “Where’s Tami?”
“Tami?”
“Yes, where is she?”
“She was sitting right behind me,” he said and sat up. “She was so quiet, reading that magazine and eating that ice-cream pop.” He looked about, but she was nowhere in sight.
“My God, David, how could you let her just wander off?”
“Take it easy; take it easy. She didn’t wander off, and where would she go around here anyway?” he asked. But he stood up quickly. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath. They both took a few steps toward the hotel’s main building.
“Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy,” Tami said. They turned around. She had come up behind them and stood beside another girl, one a good six inches taller. Neither Stacey nor David spoke. The strange girl held Tami’s doll Sooey in her arms, but Tami was smiling.
“Hello,” a thin woman in a one-piece bathing suit said as she came up behind the children. “They’ve made friends quickly, haven’t they? Lois, dear, say hello to Tami’s mother and father.”
“Hello,” the bigger girl said. Stacey took David’s hand, but neither of them could speak.
“We’re sitting over there,” the woman said, pointing to a table with an umbrella. “I can’t take too much sun. Sensitive skin,” she added. “They’re just sitting at the table and coloring and talking. I hope you don’t mind. Lois doesn’t make friends easily, but your little girl just seemed to take to her,” the woman went on. “This kind of place can be deadly for children if they don’t have playmates, don’t you agree?”
“Yes,” David said. Stacey nodded.
“Okay, girls,” the woman said.
Tami started off with the bigger girl.
“Tami,” Stacey said. Tami turned around. She took a step toward her.
“What, Mommy?” Tami asked.
“It’s all right,” David whispered. “Let her go. It’s good for her.”
Stacey looked at the woman. “Nothing,” Stacey said. “Just don’t be annoying now.”
“Oh, she’s not annoying,” the woman said. “She’s delightful, and very sweet to share her doll with Lois. Don’t you just wish adults could get along as well? We never really lose our need for friends,” she said and went back to the table with the children.
Stacey and David stared dumbly. Neither moved until the sounds of children laughing behind them broke the spell. David started back to his lounge and sat down. He held the suntan oil up for Stacey.
“Put a little of this on my back, will you, honey?”
She moved to his side and took the bottle, but as she rubbed the oil into his skin, she watched Tami and her new playmate.
“When will I stop being afraid?” Stacey asked.
“Maybe never,” David said. “But we can’t let it get in the way.”
He started to lie back and then stopped and leaned over to kiss her on the lips.
“I love you,” he said.
Stacey smiled and then permitted herself to relax, easing herself slowly into the future, the way someone would enter a hot bath.