3
A Dancing Disaster

Someone screamed. Boo was never sure who. Surely no student at the School for Heroes would ever scream, or any of the teachers either.

The beast lifted up its head and roared.

It was hard to say what happened after that. For all its size the monster moved quickly, its head lowered as it tramped through the crowded room.

Crunch, crunch, crunch…

Heroes mightn’t scream, but they did groan when giant dino-feet crushed down on them.

‘I’ll get the blighter!’ Gloria the Gorgeous leapt on stage and spun the spotlight onto herself. ‘Get a good look at me, young dinny-saur! I‘m not just gorgeous, I‘m drop dead gorgeous!‘

The monster glanced up. It kept on tromping.

‘Bother. Better put on more lipstick,’ muttered Gloria.

‘That drop dead gorgeous trick hasn‘t worked for sixty years!’ cackled Dahlia the Dazzler. She aimed her knitting needles at the dinosaur. ‘Take that!‘

The needles flicked across the room, then bounced off the dinosaur‘s hide.

Zoom! A flash of silver zapped through the crowd of dancers. Dr Hogg appeared on the dinosaur‘s shoulder, frantically lassooing the monster with his scarf.

The dinosaur flicked its tiny hand. Dr Hogg tumbled onto the floor. Somehow Ms Snott and Ms Kerfuffle had been tossed through the air as well. Boo hadn‘t even seen them attack—but the monster was faster than they were.

He had to act! He needed paws and fangs!

Boo dragged off his shirt, tearing the buttonholes, then ripped away his pants. Vaguely he was aware of Princess Princess‘s gasp (he suspected that princes in her father’s kingdom never tore off their clothes in the middle of a dance, even when faced with a dinosaur). But there was no use Changing into a wolf tied up in velvet trousers and a white silk shirt.

PLUNG!

The room grew taller and more smelly.

That was better! He lifted his nose just as something whirled above him. Something white and wriggling…

Mug’s zombie spaghetti! Zombie spaghetti had even held the school together when the Greedle’s Zurms had tunnelled through it…

The dinosaur opened its jaws again. Slurp!

The zombie spaghetti vanished. Graunt Doom’s hat swirled off her head, then disappeared in the monster’s jaws with a startled squeak.

The room was chaos. Students tried to attack or run, hitting each other in the process. The dinosaur’s head lurched down among the dancers, its great mouth agape. Boo could smell its breath, a stink of rotten meat and garbage. Vaguely, he was aware of Ms Snott sitting astride the monstrous head, her daggers snapping on its leathery hide.

The dinosaur lifted its head, as though it had finally seen what it wanted. It lurched across the room again. Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Where was Yesterday? Surely she could stop it! Boo was too short in wolf form to see her across the crowd. There were too many smells—he could smell where she’d been, but there was no time to work out where she was now.

He had to act. What had the Werewolf General said? Remember you’re a werewolf.

Biff! bamm!ing, daggers and zoom!ing hadn’t worked. It was time to see what wolf fangs could do.

Boo crouched low, a growl deep in his throat, and then he leapt, jaws open, towards the creature’s throat.

‘No!’ Something grabbed his tail. Boo yelped as someone pulled him down.

‘Yesterday!’ He peered up at her. Her green silk dress was torn, and the crystals were crushed into yellow powder on her wrists and neck. ‘Let go! I have to grab it!’

‘No! There’s no need!’

‘But it’s attacking—’ Boo stopped. Because the dinosaur had stopped too.

It towered above the buffet, its tiny hands busy. Chocolate crackles, broccoli quiche, cheese and spinach triangles, tentacle roll—the tiny reptilian hands grabbed them all and stuffed them into its mouth.

‘It’s only hungry.’ Tears poured down Yesterday’s cheeks. ‘It’s all my fault. The other dinosaurs wanted to come to the dance with me and Dancer—not to dance, but to eat. I’d told them that you get all sorts of good things to eat at a party. The Guardians keep us so hungry. Massive must have sneaked after me. Mug, lift me up!’

‘Me do it.’ It was Glug. Pink, mouldy, sequinned arms lifted Yesterday high above the crowd. ‘Fzzlpt! Frxxxzpt!’ called Yesterday.

The monster ignored her, its mouth full of toe-nail muffins. The smaller dinosaur at Yesterday’s side made a keening sound. But it too was lost in the noise of the yelling, groaning crowd.

The monster burped. Graunt Doom’s hat gave a small shriek as it hurtled back across the room, followed by a gust of muffin crumbs.

Yesterday shook her head helplessly. ‘I need to attract its attention!’

Boo tried to think. He could worm his way through the crowd in wolf form but Yesterday could never follow him. He shut his eyes again.

PLUNG!

He was human again. And naked. He leapt up, grabbed Graunt Doom’s hat and held it over his embarrassing bits, then began to shoulder his way through the crowd, hauling Yesterday behind him. He might be just a werewolf puppy, but in human shape he was one of the biggest students at the school.

‘Here, look out—’

‘What do you think—’

‘Ow!’

Boo ignored them. They were nearly at the buffet now.

‘Frxxxzpt!’ cried Yesterday again.

The monster turned, its mouth stuffed with jellyfish dip and black olive pizza. It seemed to notice Yesterday for the first time. It sort of shrank, like a two-year-old caught pinching chocolates from Grandma’s box. ‘Sgglk?’ Its squeak was so high it almost hurt to hear it.

Yesterday wagged her finger at it. ‘Gsshp. Nvgttpsspt!’

‘Sgglp.’ The monster drooped. It grabbed a final clawful of banana cake, then began to lurch sadly back across the room.

The crowd scrambled to let it through, silent now as they watched the giant lumber out the door, dropping crumbs as it went. Its footsteps vanished towards the wormhole.

‘I’m sorry.’ Yesterday faced everyone. ‘It’s all my fault…I didn’t mean to…’ She turned and looked at the ruined library for a second. The streamers hung in tatters. The students looked tatty too. Even Gloria’s wig was crooked. Mr Hogg had lost his scarf, and for the first time Boo saw Dr Mussells without a banana.

‘I—I—’ Yesterday looked at the faces around her, then ran, dragging the other dinosaur after her out of the room.

‘Yesterday!’ Boo began to run after her but something grabbed his ankle. Boo looked down. It was Princess Princess’s hand. She peered out from under the buffet table.

‘Has…has it gone?’

‘Yes,’ said Boo. Suddenly he felt tired. Tired and

helpless and sad…and even tireder because it had all gone so wrong—Yesterday’s happiness and the school dance. And there’s no way, no way at all, he thought, that I can make it better.

Princess Princess crawled out from under the table. ‘I wasn’t hiding,’ she said quickly. ‘I realised straightaway that the monster was heading for the buffet. So I hid so I could Biff! Bam! it from underneath. But then I didn’t have to.’ Princess Princess looked around the room. ‘Well,’ she said. ‘Yesterday has made a mess of things, hasn’t she?’

‘Yes,’ said Boo quietly. ‘It’s a mess. Ow!’ he added, looking down.

Graunt Doom’s hat had bitten him.

HOW TO COOK ZOMBIE SPAGHETTI

Carefully - or zombie spaghetti cook you.

FROM THE ZOMBIE ISLAND CROOKBOOK