Jake led them to the room where they’d talked the other night and Cassie had been so sure there wasn’t any kind of second chance for them. She wasn’t sure how she felt now. Sometimes she was positive Jake still cared, and at other times she knew she’d destroyed what they had beyond repair years ago.
Right now she didn’t know what she thought. The look on his face... Her stomach jumped if she paid too much attention. But he sat in a chair after she’d taken the couch, which seemed to imply he didn’t want to be that close to her.
Stop analyzing.
Cassie started talking so she’d stop thinking and overthinking. “Thanks for calming him down before I woke up, or trying anyway.” She offered him a smile as she sat. “It was so weird seeing someone else hold him and take care of him... I missed that, raising him alone. And I’m sor—”
He cut her off before she could apologize again. “You’ve already told me you’re sorry. It doesn’t change the past, okay? Just let it go. I’m trying to.”
Was it that easy for him? Because it wasn’t for Cassie.
Her shoulders sagged as she attempted once again to take the grace he was offering her. It didn’t seem real, the way he was willing to forgive her for it and move on. But then again, that’s what his church taught, and what Jake said that the Bible taught too. Jake took his faith seriously, so maybe Cassie should understand his behavior.
It was strange to Cassie that Jake should have been so surprised by her own lack of faith. She’d never meant to give him the impression while they were dating and then engaged that she agreed with him. But she was respectful and had assumed that meant something to him. Still, he’d acted strange since she’d told him that no, she didn’t trust God like he did. Or at all, for that matter.
She hadn’t read enough of the Bible to know if there was a reason that the faith aspect could be a deal breaker for him, but it was bothering him to some degree.
“So tomorrow...” Cassie decided it was better to stick with a neutral subject, and this was the only one they had. The rest of the possible topics of conversation were littered with unseen landmines.
“We need to get back to the trailhead and see if we can find the treasure.”
“For real, Jake, isn’t it time we involve the police? Especially because I’m starting to wonder if you were the target of the gunshots all along. Maybe they’d planned...” She stumbled. “...to kill you and then take me like they did my aunt. To try to make me help them find the treasure. They must assume I know where it is.”
He shook his head. “We still have no proof. We only have a guess. And you saw how Judah looked at us last night. I may send a text to Levi, just as a courtesy to a friend, but the department as a whole is not impressed with our working theory. Besides, the fewer people who know, the safer you might be. Remember the library—someone must have seen you there, tipped someone off.”
Cassie knew he was right. She’d seen the look on Officer Judah Wicks’s face when she mentioned her idea. He didn’t seem to be a man given to guesses or hunches; she could tell from the brief dealings she’d had with him. Best-case scenario would be they turned over their idea to the police, and the authorities ran with it, catching their culprit. Worst-case? Their information stirred up more trouble, more risk. Possibly for nothing, if their theory wasn’t correct.
It was better not to say anything. After all, nothing they were doing was illegal or even unethical. Unwise? Possibly. But Cassie had grown desperate to try to find whoever killed her aunt whatever way she was able. Her only hesitation was Will’s safety, but the situation they had worked out right now with him staying with that other family was going well.
Of course, the father, who was a police officer and the reason Cassie felt comfortable with the deal, had to go back to work in two days. They had tomorrow, the next day, and then that option would be taken from them and Will would be back with Cassie. She’d be out of the investigation then, formal or informal or otherwise. She’d lock herself up in this house with her son until someone else solved the case if she had to, but she wouldn’t expose him to any danger if she could help it.
“So...”
Cassie hadn’t realized until just then that Jake was sitting there, watching her as she thought. She had a feeling every idea she’d considered, every emotion, must have been displayed clearly on her face, because he looked hesitant, like he knew she was having second thoughts. And third thoughts.
“I think you’re right,” she heard herself say before she was sure she was ready. “We need to go hunt some treasure tomorrow.”
“Okay, so let’s look at the map and mark the places we think relate to the fairy tale, shall we?”
He pulled up an internet satellite map system on the laptop he’d brought to the chair with him. Cassie could barely see it from where she was on the couch, because of the angle of the screen.
Jake glanced her way and noticed her problem. “Sorry,” he said, then picked up the laptop and moved next to her. Not so close that their thighs were touching, but on the same couch anyway.
Cassie felt her breath catch ever so slightly and wished she could roll her eyes at herself without Jake noticing. What was she, sixteen with a crush?
No, this was the same man she’d had a crush on when she was that age though, which was maybe why her feelings were so strong. Jake had been her first and only love. Men had asked her out in Florida, but she’d used Will as an excuse, going on one or two first dates before giving up on the proposition entirely. She was focusing on being a single mom, she told people.
She still loved Jake. That was the truth. She’d been close last night, when she said she wasn’t sure. But now she was. Fully, completely sure. She felt her shoulders relax as the tension left her body.
If they could just get past this, find the treasure, get some assurance of safety...
Then was there a chance? Jake’s words had led her to believe there was, last night. But he’d not indicated anything of the sort today. Cassie believed some people who were truly in love with someone else never did get their happily-ever-after. Even if both of them loved each other. Relationships failed for a lot of reasons, or never got fully off the ground. They had enough reasons between them to ruin several relationships.
The biggest was the way she’d kept Will from him. But he insisted she didn’t need to apologize anymore, so that meant it was in the past, right?
That maybe they had some kind of future?
“Do you see this line right here?” Jake motioned to the computer screen and Cassie turned her attention back to it. Yes, there in the trees, a thin line of tan seemed to go into the woods and then disappear.
“Yes.”
“Part of that is where we were the other day. But judging by the directions in your story...” He frowned. “Can you say it again for me?”
“I’ll do better than that. I’ll write it down if you’ll bring me some paper.” She smiled up at him and he handed her the computer while he went to get a notebook. She studied the aerial view of the location as he did so. Strange to think that the location of the treasure could have been photographed by satellite. Of course they couldn’t see the treasure or any indication of where it was, not from the altitude of the picture, but the general topography, trees, rivers were all there—it was strange to think it was there too, hidden.
So close. Still so far.
“Here you go.” He handed her the notebook and sat back down, taking the computer from her.
This time he sat closer to her, and whether he’d done it on purpose or not, it was distracting her to no end. Cassie reminded herself she was an adult and could certainly pay attention no matter whose thigh was pressed against hers.
She swallowed hard.
She could pay attention, right?
“Okay...” She took the pen Jake held out and started writing the story down as best she remembered it. Some of her aunt’s word choices had varied. It wasn’t like a poem that had particular lines, just a story. The only part repeated perfectly was the bit at the beginning about remembering what you heard.
“She really was trying to get me to remember,” Cassie observed as she wrote those lines. “But why?”
Jake shook his head.
“I don’t remember her talking about the treasure or the legend ever, which means she talked about it a lot less than the average Raven Pass citizen. Why spend every night then telling me how to find it?”
“She clearly didn’t take it. She would have been too young or not even born then.” Jake sounded like he was thinking aloud, but Cassie nodded because she agreed with him.
“Right. We may never know,” Cassie offered, though she hoped that wasn’t the case. But still, it was better to be prepared for the possibility than to be heartbroken if it turned out to be true. Bracing against unrealistic expectations was something she’d caught herself doing many times since her happily-ever-after with Jake hadn’t happened. Yes, that had been her fault, but it didn’t seem to matter.
“I think we will.” He sounded much more confident than she felt. He continued working at the computer, pressing buttons, zooming in and surveying the land and then zooming out again. He finally printed the general area and together they highlighted the basic trail it sounded like they should take. Where directions were vague, they highlighted large chunks of Alaskan wilderness.
It could take days to thoroughly search the area, longer than that if they accounted for the time needed to look in extremely small spaces. But Cassie didn’t think that would be necessary. The heart of darkness in the story could only be something like a cave, of which there weren’t many in this part of Alaska, or possibly an old hollow stump hole, which sometimes seemed like vast holes in the ground, or a mining shaft. The entire area around Raven Pass, especially on the north side against those mountains, was known for having been active during at least one of the gold rushes. Cassie believed there were mining shafts that hadn’t been explored since the time of the murders and the gold’s disappearance, but she didn’t know how difficult it would be to find them. Terrain could have changed, trees could have grown up. Even with the “throne” Will had noticed as a starting point, they could still have a considerable amount of trouble finding it from there.
Could her aunt have tried to show people where the treasure was and then been unable to find it? And why, after all these years, did someone know her aunt might have a clue to the treasure’s location? Cassie just didn’t know. She should probably stop speculating because it was starting to give her a headache.
Or that could be because it was the middle of the night and she wasn’t sleeping.
“I need to go back to sleep,” she finally said when fatigue had overwhelmed all of her senses.
“Sleep well.”
Jake reached out to squeeze her arm and Cassie stopped. She’d been starting to stand, but his touch made her lose all motivation to leave.
“Thank you,” she said in a whisper, meeting his eyes. “You didn’t have to do any of this. You didn’t have to try to keep me safe, or try to figure out why someone killed my aunt, but you are.” She shrugged, suddenly feeling self-conscious and too vulnerable. Late nights made her feel this way. “Anyway, thanks.”
“Cassie...”
She couldn’t read his tone, couldn’t tell from his voice what he wanted. And it was impossible to say who moved first, but one minute they were sitting side by side on the couch and she was talking, and the next she leaned into him, or he’d leaned into her, and they were kissing again, all the familiarity and magic of the past mingling with something that made her stomach flutter—hope of having a future.
Tired or not, Cassie didn’t want the kiss to end. She kept her eyes closed, kept saying with her lips what she was still too afraid to say with her words. Jake said everything back to her.
And then he pulled away. Shook his head.
And she knew by the look in his eye that she had been wrong to think the words he’d said last night meant what she wanted them to. He was sure he still loved her, he said.
But that didn’t mean they had a future.
She swallowed hard, brushed at invisible lint on her jeans. “I’m sorry, I don’t know...”
“It wasn’t just you.” His voice was thick with feeling. “We can’t do this, Cassie.”
And somehow she thought maybe if she fought for them this time, maybe if she didn’t give up so easily, things would be different. “I won’t leave again, Jake. I’ll be here, like I promised last time. We can start over, but better, you know?”
She waited, but all he did was shake his head.
“I can’t, Cassie.”
She stared in his eyes till she saw it. The faith issue. It was a bigger deal to him than she’d anticipated, and it was something he hadn’t known to be true the last time around.
Could they not get married because of that? It was that important to Jake? She wanted to be angry, but it was part of who he was. His commitment to doing what he felt was right was part of why she loved him; Cassie knew that. To change him would be changing him in such a fundamental way that he wouldn’t even be the same person she was in love with.
He was being true to his beliefs. She admired him for it.
But it still broke her heart.
She stood. Nodded. “I understand.” Another hard swallow. “Don’t worry about it, okay? We can still figure this out together. I still want Will to know you. We’ll be friends. Like you said, right?” She nodded again and turned to the door.
Then she brushed a tear from her eye.
She’d almost had the fairy-tale ending with Jake, and she’d been the villain in that story who stole it from herself by leaving. She should have known a second chance was too good to be true. She should never have gotten her hopes up.
Because the thing about hopes?
They hurt the worst when they come crashing down.
Jake sat in the dark for another half hour after Cassie left, trying to figure out what he could have done differently. Well, not kissed her for one, but she’d been sitting there, looking gorgeous, and he had told her the truth, he did still love her. He was every bit as in love with her as he had been years ago. But none of those feelings changed what was right, and she didn’t believe the same way he did.
It shouldn’t have been a deal breaker, not in his opinion, not when they had a son together. But truth was truth and it didn’t change no matter what your preferences or situations or circumstances. Hadn’t he been saying that for years? Here was his chance to live it.
When he’d thought out their situation from every angle, and spent some time praying too, Jake finally went back to bed. He slept lightly though. Too many things on his mind to do otherwise.
By the time he got downstairs for breakfast just after six o’clock, Cassie was already awake and scrambling eggs.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked as he started toward the coffee maker to brew a pot only to find she’d already made enough for both of them. Jake blinked, the contrast to last night, the bad way it had ended, hurting him somewhere in his chest.
She shut off the burner she’d been using and separated the eggs onto two plates. She handed him one and then pulled bread out of a toaster, placing it on each plate before walking to the table. He followed.
“Not really.” She finally answered the question as she reached for a jar of strawberry jam she must have put on the table earlier. She met his eyes and he blinked against the unflinching nature of her gaze. He didn’t know what he’d expected after last night, maybe for her to be embarrassed, or upset with him, he wasn’t sure. But he hadn’t expected this. She seemed bolder. More confident.
One thousand times more beautiful and irresistible.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said and then put jam on his own toast. Cleared his throat. “About the search today...”
“Do you want to start as soon as Will wakes up?”
He nodded.
“I can get him up if necessary. He has to be woken up for school usually.”
“That...” He was about to say it wasn’t necessary when he realized that if they didn’t leave soon, he would just be sitting here, staring at Cassie after shattering any chance things between them could ever go back to how they used to be. He couldn’t handle this level of awkward. Breakfast was hard enough. “That would be great, actually.”
“Okay.” She finished her breakfast without saying anything else to him and then started up the stairs.
She and Will came back down minutes later. Will had some quick breakfast, and Jake loaded them in the car only saying what needed to be said. He didn’t feel much like talking this morning.
As he pulled out of the driveway, a shiver went down his spine. Things between him and Cassie were so strained that he felt even more pressure not to let anything happen to her today. If she was hurt it would crush him no matter what, but he did not want last night to be the final real conversation they’d had.
Surely he was overreacting. But none of the reassurances he tried to offer himself would stick. Because he wasn’t being paranoid. Someone was after Cassie, they might want her dead, and he had no leads yet on who it could be. Neither did the police. He’d texted Levi enough times that his friend had finally sent him a message that said, Nothing new to tell.
None of it sat right with Jake. It had been too quiet, too easy and calm since the last attack—the gunshots outside of the library.
It made him feel like the danger was a rubber band being stretched and stretched and sometime soon...
It would snap.