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Caleb woke late the next morning and made his way downstairs to find the house already restored to its normal condition by a small army of cleaners. His family were all up and gathered around the breakfast bar, still talking but calm now. His father greeted him with a different look on his face this morning — tired, but strangely almost okay.
His dad said without preamble, “Your mother and I have been talking all night about some things that have needed to be faced for a long time. We’ve all been talking and deciding on some changes we want to make as a family.”
“Such as?”
“Well, we want to start having weekly family meetings to talk through what’s happened over the last few years. And your mother and I are going to get counseling and work on things between us...we might even get some therapy as a whole family.”
Stunned, Caleb looked from one family member to the next, scarcely able to believe what he was hearing. In one night they had got to that? He shook his head and said, “I can’t talk about this right now. I have to go.”
“Where to?” his mother asked.
“Out.”
“Caleb...” she tried again.
Something snapped in him abruptly and furious words began pouring out. “No, don’t talk to me! How dare you tear our family apart and then expect us just to be okay about it, to forgive you? To go to therapy?! Are you crazy? And you Dad, what are you thinking? How can you ever trust her again — how many lies has she told you? Stop being such a fool!”
“Don’t you call your father a fool! He’s a good man,” his mother interrupted, her eyes flashing.
“I’m not talking to you!” he yelled at her. Aimee burst into tears and ran out of the room; his other siblings sat quietly, eyes averted.
His father said, “Son, there are some things you need to understand. One is that when you love someone, it doesn’t just disappear when there’s trouble. It doesn’t come with harsh conditions; it’s willing to forgive...”
“Guess you’ve got a lot of work to do now then.” He chose to ignore the look of hurt that crossed his father’s face. “She’ll just do it again...”
“I’m talking about forgiveness, not trust. Sure, there’ll be some things that will need to change before I can trust your mother again, before any of us can. She’s broken our trust so she’ll need to re-earn it. But forgiveness is freely given. And I will freely give it.”
Caleb took a deep breath, trying to calm down before he went any further, before he totally lost it and said things he might regret forever. “I have to go out,” he said flatly. “I’ll see you later.”
He made it out to his car but Aimee came after him. She stood in the driveway and stared at him with tears in her eyes. “Cabe,” her pet name for him, “I know you’re upset and angry, but this is a chance to start again, to be a healthier family...”
“It’s just a delusion Aimee. It’s not going to work.”
“People change...”
“No, they don’t, not really.”
She stared at him for as long as it took him to unlock his car and get in. Then she leaned in the window and said, “You’re wrong. People do change — and you are the proof. Who are you? I don’t know you anymore, this hard, angry person! Where has my kind, loving brother gone?”
Caleb sighed, feeling very tired again. “I don’t know. Maybe I just discovered that people can’t be trusted. No one is what they seem.”
She shook her head, “I don’t buy it. What else is going on Cabe?”
At that moment, he heard the whisper of a voice in his ear. It urged, “Stop, talk. This is your first chance. This is your time to grieve.” He wondered if it was God and for a moment nearly listened — but instead took a deep breath and shut the voice out, starting the car up. “Nothing Aim, I’ll see you later okay?” he said and reversed out of the driveway. She watched him until he was far down the road and had turned out of sight.
He had no idea where he was going, just that he needed to get out. But as it happened a call on his mobile decided it for him. It was Ruby. She was brief and to the point, asking if he would come to her house so he could meet her father. He could not think of an excuse good enough to get out of it and yet still see her, so he found himself agreeing.
They lived in a rougher neighborhood than he expected yet their house was pretty, well-maintained and gave the impression of being wide open to the rest of the neighborhood; very much a part of the community. He felt nervous climbing the steps and knocking, like he was entering enemy territory. If Stinger was to find out...
Only Ruby and her father were home. To his dismay, he liked Leonard immediately. He was warm and kind. As he made them freshly squeezed lemonades he got right to the point, asking Caleb if he knew the full story behind the Thames case. Figuring he had not agreed to take the case on yet, Caleb explained what he knew from following it in the news.
When he finished, Leonard Miller nodded slowly. “Yes, that’s a fairly accurate media portrayal. But there’s a lot more to it than that. Let me fill you in now.”
It took an hour or so because Caleb had so many questions, but by the end of it he was satisfied. “That makes much more sense to me now. He certainly has been sly. You have evidence of all this?”
“The lawyers do. But what about you? Ruby tells me you have a pretty tough decision ahead of you. They claim they have something on me they want you to expose?”
“Yes, that’s what they say. Tell me Mr. Miller, do they? Is there anything they could have on you that you wouldn’t want revealed? Because if there is, you’d better prepare yourself for it. If I don’t do it, they’ll just get someone else who will. It will come out.”
“Son, whether they have something on me or not is irrelevant. I’ve lived an honest life. I’ve made mistakes — but we all have, being human and all. I put right what I can and the rest I leave for God to figure out for me.”
Thinking this was naïve, Caleb argued, “But don’t you understand? They could destroy your reputation completely.”
“They could, because I am certainly not perfect though I have always tried my best to be good.”
“Doesn’t that worry you?”
“When I was younger perhaps. But there’s a little key I have discovered as I’ve come to know the Lord better that stops me worrying about things like this. Over the years I’ve worked out that the way to find true peace is to get to the place of knowing that no matter what happens around me, even if these men were to completely discredit me, I would still be alright. My wellbeing and my happiness are not dependent on my circumstances or how men like this treat me. My security and contentment and value are within me. I know I’m okay — no matter what.”
Caleb frowned, “That sounds like a nice idea, but how is it even possible to get to that?”
“Are you sure you’re up for a mini sermon?” At Caleb’s hesitant nod, Leonard settled himself opposite and explained, “There are two paths to it and they’re both essential. The first is knowing you’re okay because God says you’re okay — and He knows what He’s talking about because He made you. The second is that you know you’re okay because you live up to your own values and morals; you are someone you are proud of.”
“Makes sense if you believe in God, if you believe He feels that way about you.”
“Touché,” Leonard agreed. Before he could continue, Caleb’s mobile phone rang. He excused himself to answer it.
His dad’s mobile number was showing on the display but when he answered, it was his mother. She started with, “Caleb, please don’t hang up. I need to talk to you, just for a few minutes.”
He did not say anything but he did not hang up either.
“I wanted to call you and say...I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to your father and I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to the family and I’m so, so sorry for how my terrible choices have affected you.” She was crying now, quite hard, her voice coming and going with the sobs. “I know you may not be able to get over this for some time...but I ask for your forgiveness now in the hope that one day you’ll be able to.”
She stopped talking and he could hear her trying to pull herself together. Behind him he sensed Leonard had caught some of his mother’s words too. He waited for a few heartbeats and was about to respond when the quiet voice, the voice he had heard back at his house in the driveway, sounded in his ear again. “This is your second chance...to soften your heart to help restore your family.”
This time he responded silently, “Is that you God?”
Although he did not really expect an answer, one came, surprisingly, from Ruby. She jumped down off the bench where she had been sitting and came towards him with a look of wonder on her face.
“Caleb, is God talking to you?” she asked, seeming to have forgotten he was on the phone.
He nodded, feeling crazy for it, mouthed, “I think so.”
“What’s He saying?” she whispered back.
His mother was talking again. “Caleb honey, you are my firstborn son and I love you with all my heart. Please let me take you out for coffee or something so we can talk.”
He felt the weight of the decision then. With Ruby looking curiously at him and his mother waiting on the other end of the phone, he somehow knew that how he responded to his mother now was important. Yet he didn’t know how to capitulate, was determined not to let her off the hook. Yes, he could choose to forgive her, to reconcile, but that was the point, wasn’t it? That he could choose, that he had free choice in this as in all matters.
And so he chose.
When he hung up and turned around, Leonard looked disappointed. “Young man, I shouldn’t have listened but I did.” Caleb half-smiled at the audacity of that. “I have one thing left to say to you and it is this. Remember that you do get to make your own choices about your own life — but every choice has a consequence. Be careful that you don’t choose things now that you will live to regret later.”
Caleb nodded silently, unsure how to respond to that.
“Well, what did God say to you?” Ruby interjected curiously.
“To soften my heart towards my family.”
“Oh,” she mouthed. He wished suddenly that he had met her under quite different circumstances — what she must be thinking of him now.
His phone rang again. He looked at the caller display and started to panic, “It’s work!”
“What are you going to tell them?” Ruby asked.
“I don’t know. It’s too soon for my decision, I’m meant to have a lot more time!”
“I suspect you already know in your heart what you’re going to do,” Mr. Miller said.
Caleb stared at him a moment, then said, “Excuse me,” and hurried out the front door to take the call on their doorstep.
It was Stinger and he got straight to the point as usual. “Caleb, we’re ready for your decision.”
“Mr. Stinger, I thought I had till six.”
“We need your decision now Caleb. You’ve had enough time to decide.”
“There’s been a lot happening today...” Caleb began but Stinger cut him off.
“I don’t care what’s happening in your small world. I need to know right now, are you with us or...?” the unspoken words ‘against us’ hung in the air between them.
Through the window Caleb could see Ruby, perched back up on the bench, her pretty blonde hair falling over her face as she leaned forward, her eyelashes just peeking through it. She had red lips that suited her name and she was lovely. She was the kind of future he would love to have.
“I’m just not sure I can do it — ruin a man’s reputation...”
“Where are you right now, Caleb? We’ll meet.” His boss sounded suspicious. He stared out at the street and noticed a car cruising by slowly, a dark blue sedan. He could not see the face of the driver through the tinted glass.
“I’m at a friend’s in the Valley,” he lied. “It will take me some time to get back into the city.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone, then Stinger asked, “Where in the Valley?”
“Diavo,” Caleb lied again.
There was another long pause. Then, “Never mind Caleb. You can call me at six on the number I gave you with your final answer.” He rang off before Caleb could say another word.
When he went back inside and told the Millers, “I haven’t decided yet,” they were both silent. “Thank you for your kindness,” he added. “I really enjoyed meeting you both.”
“Do call again,” Ruby invited, smiling at him.
Leonard shook his hand and agreed, “Yes. As Ruby said, regardless of the decision you make, do call again.”
Out on the street Caleb felt adrift. Once more he had no actual plan, nowhere he particularly needed to be. He was tempted to go back inside and visit longer with the beautiful Ruby, but he knew he needed to be alone to make his decision.
Instead he drove to a park a few blocks from the Miller house and sat in his car awhile, thinking, staring blankly at the ducks in the pond and the empty grounds. He could not help feeling that this decision would shape the rest of his life. If he chose to refuse Stinger, he would certainly lose his job which would probably mean being unofficially blackballed in Fierra County. He was under no illusions about this — he had seen it happen to a colleague at Law School the previous year. It would mean choosing a new profession or moving to another area, another city. But even then, he had no confidence he could avoid Stinger spoiling the likelihood of his being hired somewhere else. Unless he found a firm who would give him a chance to prove himself; a firm who would not bow to the pressure a company like Stinger and Harper could exert.
Far in the distance, almost obscured by trees, he could see a couple walking quickly through the park. It reminded him again of his parents and the mess at home and the anger returned like an unpleasant stone lodged in his gut. The voice came again then, for the third time. “This is your final chance. Go home, see your family, call your boss...”
“And say what?” he demanded, out loud this time.
“Your integrity is worth more than any job.”
“No! It’s too much. I won’t lose my career! I’ve spent years working towards it. It’s not my fault this has happened. I shouldn’t be punished for what Thames has done!”
The voice was crystal clear this time and soft too, “What will it profit you to gain the world and lose your soul?”
“But it’s not fair!” he cried, feeling like a petulant child.
“Life is not fair, My son, but I will work with you to make it good.”
He thought about that for a few heartbeats, but he was still too angry to acknowledge it. “I won’t forgive my mother either. I’ll never forgive her for what she’s done to us!” There was resolve in his voice now. He could hear it himself.
“Please don’t choose this path. You don’t have to, I beg you to reconsider, please — don’t do it.” There was genuine pain in the voice, the voice he assumed to be God’s. It shocked him. It reminded him of a father pleading with a son not to do something foolish, even something dangerous. The thought stopped him cold — was he crossing a line into some kind of danger-zone?
But at the end of the day, all he could see from forgiving his mother and resisting Stinger’s request was pain and trouble. She would probably do it again and destroy the family for good and Stinger would destroy his career and he felt quite certain he could not handle either outcome. No, the best option was to guard himself so his mother couldn’t hurt him anymore, and to do what Stinger wanted. After all, Stinger would just find someone else to do it anyway. It may as well be him keeping his job, even getting a promotion.
That decided, he opened his car door and got out. He was not going home yet so he might as well walk a bit and call Stinger with his decision. He heard the voice again as he walked towards the trees begging him to reconsider, but this time he chose to shut God out.
He walked through the park some distance before he flipped his mobile open. He was in a small grove of trees quite hidden from view. The day had turned somewhat gloomy now; the sun well-contained by clouds. He shivered a little in the breeze as he scrolled through his contacts to find Stinger’s number. His attention was on his phone which was why he did not notice the man approach, a man who emerged from a dark blue sedan. All Caleb knew was that one minute he was searching his phone, the next he was on the ground, the breath knocked out of him.
He rolled onto his back painfully, looking up into the eyes of the man who had dropped him. They were cold and dead, no emotion in them at all. He was tall, well-built, dressed in dark colors with a hood over half his face which did not entirely disguise the narrow scar by his right eye. In his hand was a sharp, curved blade.
“Who are you?” Caleb gasped as he got his breath back. He tried to get up but the man put his foot on his chest, forcing him back down.
“I am the one sending a message — no one messes with Mr. Stinger.”
“But I haven’t,” Caleb cried.
The man was already on the move, the knife flashing through the air and plunging into Caleb’s chest. The pain was immediate. As the knife withdrew, a red rainbow of blood sprayed the ground, Caleb’s face, the man. Shocked, he put his hands on his chest then lifted them up to look with amazement at his own blood all over them. He managed to get his hands back onto the wound; tried to stop the bleeding. He could feel adrenaline pumping through his body even as a wave of tiredness rose to engulf him.
The assailant stood up studying Caleb for a moment, then nodded, apparently satisfied. Without another word, he turned and walked away. Caleb understood by that action that he was dying. This must be, he thought tiredly, why the voice had asked him to leave the park and go home, why God had pleaded with him.
He lay helplessly under the trees thinking, ‘this can’t be it.’ This could not possibly be where he was going to die, here in some park, alienated from his family, having done little with his short life except pledge allegiance to a man like Stinger who would rather have him killed than let Caleb disobey him.
“God, I’m sorry I didn’t listen to You when You tried to save me,” he whispered.
And the voice came again, “It’s not too late to put things right.”
“How?” he asked silently.
In the quietness of the park his phone suddenly rang. Desperate, he picked it up with slippery, bloody fingers, managing a weak, “Hello?”
It was his father. “Caleb...”
“Dad, listen to me, don’t talk.” Urgency gave him a little strength. “I’m in Silva Park. I’ve been stabbed.” His dad gasped, then issued urgent orders to someone on his end to call an ambulance. “I made a mistake and Stinger had me attacked. You must get in touch with Leonard Miller, tell him I’m sorry — help him bring Stinger to justice for this.”
“Son...”
“It was a tall man, in dark clothes, with a scar by his right eye. He mentioned Stinger by name.”
Exhausted, he paused and his dad said tenderly, “Caleb, I love you. You are a wonderful son, and help is on its way.”
“It’s too late Dad...I love you...put Mum on.”
His mother was in tears again. She said, “Caleb,” but he interrupted.
“Mum, I’m sorry, I forgive you...don’t do it again!”
“I won’t...”
“Find out why you did it so you don’t do it again,” he was barely whispering now and his vision was starting to come and go. He heard his mother say, “I love you,” and managed to whisper it back, but then he could not hold the phone any longer and it fell from his hand to the ground. He looked up into the trees and realized the clouds had cleared a little because there was some sunlight filtering through. It caressed his face like an embrace, and he felt a sudden surge of hope, like this was a sign.
“Are You there? Because I need You...” he whispered to the voice.
And God replied, “I’m always here, son. Welcome home.”
His very last thought was that he had let Aaron down.
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