Reveal Your Heart with Vulnerability
If what you want is intimacy, you must be vulnerable. It feels risky, and it is.
You’ll know when you’re being vulnerable because part of you will resist. Maybe you’ll want to hold back your tears or pretend you weren’t disappointed or that you don’t need help. Memorize that feeling and bravely walk into it as much as you can, because that’s where the magic is.
Vulnerability is not only attractive, it’s where you get that incredible, indescribable feeling of being loved just the way you are by someone who knows you well. There’s nothing quite like it, and it really is worth risking everything to have it.
Vulnerability is not the same as weakness—it actually takes much more strength and courage to risk emotionally than it does to stay defended. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re defended—we just know that it would feel uncomfortable to admit we don’t know what someone is talking about or to say we’re lonely.
That’s because it would make us vulnerable.
Prescription: To practice being vulnerable, start by admitting that you’re hurt instead of defending yourself.
Instead of saying “You hurt my feelings,” try saying nothing but “Ouch!”
Instead of saying “You’re never home,” say “I miss you.”
Instead of trying to do it all, when you’re overwhelmed, say “I can’t” or “I need help.”
Instead of trying to figure everything out yourself, ask for advice when you’re not sure what to do.