8

Tom looked sexy as hell in a suit.

I had a moment of sheer lust when I saw him emerge from the truck wearing those pinstripes. His shoes were polished to a high sheen. He wore a gold watch on one wrist. His hair had been carefully brushed back from his forehead. He was clean shaven. He wasn’t wearing a tie, but that was his only nod to the man he usually was. He looked like a stranger, albeit an extremely sexy one.

I stared at him from the porch. He took three steps away from the truck before he saw me in the shadows. His response was gratifying.

‘Oh, my God,’ he blurted out.

My dress was long and green, chosen specifically to set off the red flame of my hair. It had a dangerously high slit up the side, but the rest of the dress was demure and showed nothing inappropriate. My hair was styled into curls, and I had makeup on, the first Tom had ever seen me wear. My heels were high enough that, when he stood before me, I could look directly into his eyes. They were dazzling with desire.

‘I want you right here,’ he said.

He leaned forwards and brushed his lips over mine. I kissed him back. He pulled away and licked his lips in surprise. ‘You taste like strawberries,’ he said incredulously, and I blushed.

‘Strawberry-flavored lipstick.’

‘You definitely need to buy more of that.’

That surge of feminine power ran through me. His mouth descended over mine again and a shiver ran all the way down to those high heels. We stood there in the waning sunset, only our lips touching. His breath came softly across my cheek.

‘You are going to have to put on more lipstick,’ he whispered.

‘You didn’t get it all yet,’ I protested. His hand slid along my back.

‘You’re going to kill me by the end of the night, looking like this . . .’

‘You make me want to ditch the whole thing,’ I admitted. Who needed dinner at a nice restaurant? Seeing him in a suit with that look in his eyes was more than enough.

‘We can be late,’ he suggested.

I smiled back at him, a couple of co-conspirators.

‘Will they hold our reservations?’

‘A place like that always holds reservations.’ I grabbed the lapel of that suit and pulled him into the house.

The top of his silk shirt was open. The jacket slipped down his arms and pooled on the floor behind him. I was surprised anew to see that the suit was of the old-fashioned variety, not to be worn with a belt, but with suspenders. They were the same color as the pinstripes. I trailed my fingers down the suspenders, marveling at how they contoured against his chest. The buttons of his shirt fell open one by one. When he sucked in his breath as I trailed my hands over his belly, I had to smile.

He touched my hair. Reverently, with the kind of touch that Tom only bestowed in the moments when he was feeling completely out of his depth. I looked up at him in surprise.

Tom stared back at me in the waning sunlight coming through the windows. We both smiled at the sound of his dress slacks opening.

He wasn’t wearing anything underneath that suit.

‘Make me taste like strawberries,’ came the whispered plea.

The hardwood was cool under my knees. Any other time I would have played with him, teased him mercilessly, but this seemed different. I didn’t hesitate. My lips slid over his cock and I sucked half of him into my mouth. His fingers twined through my hair. A hairpin pinged as it hit the floor.

Tom groaned loudly. The sound echoed through the house, bounced on the floors, shot right through me with a thrill of desire. I took him in as deeply as I could and Tom held me there a long moment, his hands on the back of my head. When he released me, I took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes.

‘Again,’ I murmured.

Tom guided my head down. I swallowed all of him with some effort, and then I couldn’t breathe. His hands were on the back of my head, holding me steady while he slowly ground in circles. I concentrated on my heartbeat, on the feel of his strong thigh muscles under my hands, on the way his breathing sped up and up. Tom finally let me go and I pulled back as slowly as I could, breathing heavily all the while.

‘You’re so good at that,’ he praised.

The compliment made me bold. I took his hands away from my hair and Tom chuckled. I went at him in earnest then, bobbing up and down on his cock, letting my tongue mimic every motion of my lips. Tom shuddered when I licked that sensitive spot just under his crown. His hands clenched into fists, then relaxed, over and over again, as I sucked him deeper into the wet cavern of my mouth.

By now I knew exactly what would make Tom come. I didn’t do it. I licked him one last time, then slowly stood to my full height and stared right at him. His cock was glistening, hard as a rock, and straining in the air between us.

Tom’s eyes were hazy with desire and confusion. He slowly smiled as it dawned on him that I had really stopped. He shook his head.

‘I could make you finish, you know.’

I nodded, and Tom shook his head again, this time with a chuckle.

‘So this is how the night is going to be?’ he said with a smile.

‘Yes.’

‘Two can play at that game, sweetheart.’

With all the dignity he could muster, Tom tucked his erect cock back inside his pants and zipped up. I couldn’t help but laugh at the very serious look on his face. He shot me a frustrated smile and pulled up the suspenders. I helped him button his shirt. Before we turned back to the door he pulled me to him, and kissed me hard enough to take my breath away.

‘You’re beautiful,’ he whispered in my ear as we headed out to the truck.

Things had changed. I could feel it just as well as he could, and neither one of us was trying to stop it. There was a certainty between us that usually comes only with long-term lovers. I wondered if this was what came along with the sexual explorations. Was this something I was always capable of having, but only now discovering?

The road to the restaurant was hidden and narrow, the kind of road that leads to out-of-the-way places that many people discuss but few ever really find. The last of the sunlight poured through the canopy of trees and left a dappled carpet on the ground, guiding our way to the tall, elegant plantation-style house at the end of the road.

Men dressed in full tuxedo stood ready to open our doors. Tom and I were whisked up a small flight of steps and through an ornate entrance. The lighting was dim, mostly cast from oil lamps on the scattered tables, and the music was low, understated. The delicious smell of the place hit me as soon as I entered. The woman at the front desk did not smile.

‘Good evening, Tom,’ she said, and the fact that she called him by his first name was jarring, out of place in this proper atmosphere.

His hand tightened on my elbow.

‘We apologize for being tardy,’ he said properly. His voice was hard and clipped. ‘Is our table ready?’

The woman held out a hand, gesturing to the spiral staircase. She carefully avoided my eyes, but I saw the look she shot at Tom. It skewered right over my shoulder, filled with the heat of anger and indignation.

‘Your usual,’ she said.

I climbed the staircase with him right on my heels. The tip of my stiletto caught in the grate and I would have pitched forwards if not for his hand on my elbow. I looked back at him when we were safely on the second level.

‘Tom?’

He shook his head slightly, a quick motion.

The waiter was cordial and seemed quite happy to be there. He brought water and a wine list. Fresh bread was placed in the center of the table. It had been baked in a terracotta pot. On the walls was an eclectic collection, all by local artists, all tremendously expensive. Tom’s face was lit handsomely by the flicker from the oil lamp.

‘She detests you,’ I said.

Tom nodded and sipped his water. ‘Any idea what you might like to eat tonight? I’m not sure what wine to order.’

‘I won’t be drinking tonight.’

Tom put down the wine list and sighed heavily. ‘I told you I wasn’t an angel.’

I nodded and took an interest in a painting of a broken pitcher. ‘Is this how it will be?’

‘Meaning?’

‘A woman sending you messages with her eyes everywhere we go?’

‘Perhaps,’ he said.

I was startled by the admission, and I didn’t do a good job of hiding it.

‘You know my history. I haven’t held anything back from you. I was honest about the women.’

I nodded.

‘So, if you have a problem with it, Kelley, you tell me now. I don’t want to fall in love with you and then lose you because of the things I did before I met you.’

I closed my eyes. The room seemed to sway. The waiter arrived back at the table and asked what we would like to drink. I hardly noticed as Tom ordered for both of us. His hand was warm when he reached over the table and touched my arm.

‘Kelley?’

I placed my hand on top of his.

The waiter came back. Menus were placed on the edge of the table. We were left alone.

Tom was right. I knew his history. He had been honest with me about that. Was I now going to reward his honesty with distrust, when he had done nothing at all to deserve my anger?

I picked up the menu. Tom studied me over it. I was aware of his eyes but studiously ignored them.

‘I believe I’m in the mood for steak.’

Tom reached under the table and took my hand. ‘I want you,’ he whispered.

I smiled.

‘You’re going to make me work for it,’ he said.

‘That’s the best way.’

Tom leaned back in the chair. The suspenders stretched and the buckles winked at me in the lamplight. He slid his hand down the front of his shirt, all the way down to his slacks. He squeezed the bulge there. I watched every move he made. He didn’t move his hand away until we heard the waiter coming up the stairs to take our order.

The steak was served sizzling hot on a plate of greens. The vegetables were in wide variety, obviously fresh from some local farmer’s garden. The wine was beyond excellent, and by my second glass I was decidedly giddy. I suddenly didn’t give a damn about the hostess who had made her feelings about Tom so clear.

I watched Tom’s hand on the wineglass. He swirled the dark liquid while he watched me finish my steak. He had been shifting in his chair all evening, obviously uncomfortable. His erection would not go away. I took my time eating, fully aware that his body was protesting every long moment.

‘You keep looking at my hands,’ he said quietly.

‘Yes.’

‘That’s because you want them on you.’

‘Yes.’

‘Or better yet, you want them in other places.’

I looked up at him, surprised that he had read my mind.

‘Do you have any idea how much I want you?’ he murmured.

The blush on my face wasn’t just from the wine. I looked at Tom over the lamplight. He reached forwards and caught my hand in his. He kissed every knuckle with his warm soft lips. I shivered once, as though a cool hand was teasing its way down the small of my back.

‘Tell me,’ I whispered.

‘I want you so much I can’t think about anything else. You’re constantly on my mind. I can’t concentrate until I’ve sated myself with you, and then I need you again just hours later. I’m a junkie, and you’re the drug.’

He paused, thinking.

‘The way I feel – it’s absurd.’

He took my fingertips into his mouth one by one, and licked the flavor from them.

‘Sometimes I find myself wanting to push myself into you so hard – into your mind and your body and your soul – that you can’t forget me, either.’

Maybe it was the wine that loosened his tongue. Whatever it was, it was making one hell of an impression on me. The tingle of emotion settled right between my thighs.

‘I will never forget you,’ I assured him.

To my surprise, Tom looked away. He blinked hard. The waiter came by and took our plates, but neither of us noticed.

‘Tom?’

‘Let’s go home,’ he said in a voice that was suspiciously rough.

The restaurant had definitely lived up to its reputation, even as we were leaving. Somehow the waiter had alerted the valet and, when we stepped out of the front doors, our truck was already waiting. The hostess was nowhere in sight, but, even if she had been, it was doubtful either Tom or I would have noticed.

Once in the truck, the console between us was maddening. I found myself longing for my truck instead of his, for it was an older model with a bench seat. My hand rested on his thigh. The muscles tensed and relaxed as he worked the gas and the brake. We looked at each other almost as much as he looked at the road.

Something had shifted before we left the house, and that something had shifted once again while we sat at that table in the restaurant. My jealousy, his possessiveness, our pasts and the way we felt about each other – it had finally all settled into one vital emotion that seemed to be breathing in tandem within us both.

We drove in silence. At a stoplight I watched the color play through his hair. Without any discussion, he turned down the road that would take us to his house.

Once we were there, the exercise in restraint wasn’t over. Tonight already felt like something special, and I didn’t want to rush it. Tom had the same thoughts; he pulled me close to him and spread his hand wide on my belly, a possessive gesture that took my breath away, but he didn’t attempt to touch me anywhere else. His breath was hot against my ear.

‘Why don’t you go run a bath for us,’ he murmured. ‘Put in lots of bubbles.’

Tom’s bathtub was quite different than mine. His was an enormous old-fashioned thing with taps that squeaked and pipes that whistled. It was also big enough for three, if the mood ever struck. Tonight it would be more than wonderful for two.

The bubble bath smelled like sandalwood and oranges. I found candles on the high shelf and there, beside them, an old pack of matches that were covered in dust. The candles flared and flickered across the bathroom counter, casting a golden glow. I carefully hung my dress on the back of the bathroom door. I peeked out into the bedroom, and what I saw made me smile.

Tom was getting undressed. He stood in front of the dresser and carefully took off the cufflinks, little mother-of-pearl ovals surrounded by glittering gold. The watch came next, that one I had never seen before tonight, the one that was so expensive. The suit jacket slid down his arms. Tom closed his eyes as the fabric worked its way over his shoulders and down to his hands. He threw it on the bed behind him.

With his eyes still closed, he pushed the suspenders off his shoulders. He worked one button on his shirt, then another, then another. He took a deep breath and ran his hand into his open shirt, down his belly and back up to his throat.

That’s when I realized what he was doing. He was enjoying those few moments when the thought of me was just as strong as the reality of me.

Suddenly I felt guilty. This was far too intimate, something not meant for me to see.

I watched anyway.

By the time he was completely naked, I had forgotten about the water running in the bathtub. I wasn’t thinking about the dinner or the women or the plans for the evening. Everything was in suspension, and the only thing that mattered was that man standing in the bedroom.

‘Turn off the water,’ he murmured without turning around.

I should have been startled at the words, at the fact that he had known I was there all along, but this was Tom. Observing everything was what he did best.

The pipes whistled in protest as I turned the taps. Bubbles popped quietly across the surface of the water. Steam rose from among them. Tom appeared in the doorway, holding an armful of fluffy towels from the linen closet. The softness looked almost ridiculous against his strong broad body. He set them down on the hamper and pulled me into his arms. We sighed together at the wonderful feel of skin on skin.

‘Lots of bubbles?’ he whispered.

‘Yes.’

‘Can we play hide-and-seek in there?’

‘Probably.’

‘Do you want to?’

I smiled against his chest. Even now, he had a way about him that left me feeling as though I was the one in control, the one who called all the shots.

‘Please.’

Tom held my arm as I sank into the tub. He climbed in right behind me. The water made our bodies slick and soft. He tangled his legs with mine and his hand came up to my throat, pushing my head back against his shoulder. We lay together that way for the longest time as our bodies adjusted to the heat and the bubbles played on every inch of skin that was above the water. The flames on the candles swayed hypnotically.

‘You make me feel so safe,’ I said to him.

‘That’s my job,’ he answered. Long moments of silence followed the words. We were sleepy, comfortable and aroused, but there was all the time in the world.

‘What happened to you, Kelley?’ Tom asked.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I make you feel safe. Who made you feel unsafe?’

I closed my eyes. The light of the candle was a pale red against my eyelids. I swallowed hard and focused on the sweet feeling of Tom’s hand on my throat. He caressed me lightly and I thought again of how much I trusted him.

‘No one hurt me,’ I said. ‘If that’s what you’re wondering.’

‘Not physically, you mean.’

‘No.’

‘Then what?’

I shifted in the tub. The bubbles rose up over my shoulders. A bit of water splashed on the floor. Tom smiled against my neck and kissed my ear.

‘I’ve never had a man who was faithful to me. I’ve never had a man who took care of me. I’ve always been on my own, even when I was with someone.’

I thought for a moment.

‘My mother was the same way,’ I said. ‘One night my father called from work, about an hour before he was supposed to come home. I answered the phone. He told me he wasn’t going to be coming home, that their marriage was over, and that he wanted me to tell my mother. He told me to keep her from doing anything stupid.’

Tom shook his head and pressed his lips against my neck.

‘I learned that, even when everything feels fine, even when the world is entirely perfect, it can all change in the blink of an eye. I watched my mother fall apart and then slowly build herself back up. But she was never the same. She never trusted anyone. She never felt safe.’

‘How old were you?’

I sighed and opened my eyes. ‘Fourteen.’

‘Right at the age when you start to hope for love and fairy tales,’ Tom mused.

‘I don’t believe in fairy tales,’ I whispered and, much to my surprise, tears stung my eyes. I took a deep breath and bit my lip, trying to keep the emotions under control. Tom knew me well enough to know exactly what I was doing, and this time he didn’t allow it.

‘That’s why it is so important to you to be in control all the time. That’s why you submit so completely to me. It’s your way of controlling, not the other way around.’

Tears ran down my face. Tom took my chin in his strong hand and turned me towards him. He kissed the tears and suddenly I was bawling like a baby, or like a fourteen-year-old girl whose whole world has been shattered.

Tom wisely kept silent.

‘I never dealt with it,’ I said, when the tears had finally abated enough for me to speak. ‘I just let things happen to me and I never dealt with any of them. I made up for it by trying to make everyone happy. I tried to excel in everything. I tried to be the best student, the best girlfriend, the best daughter. If I could do so well, maybe I could make up for everything else.’

I sat forwards in the water. Tom ran his fingertips down my spine. I grabbed at a towel and blew my nose on it. One of the candles sputtered and went out. The smoke curled towards the ceiling until it was obscured by darkness.

Until Tom and I stumbled upon each other, I hadn’t really analyzed the reasons I acted the way I did. My mother had often told me she worried about me because I was too controlled, too careful, too calm. Nothing ever seemed to rattle me. I was the steady one, the one everyone else could depend upon to take care of problems. I prided myself on that and cultivated it.

The more time I spent with Tom, the more I realized those actions were a defense mechanism. I was still that young girl in so many ways, fighting against the unthinkable in the only ways I knew how. My trust in Tom had opened the floodgates.

‘I will never make a promise I cannot keep,’ Tom whispered against my ear.

Later as we lay in bed, our limbs intertwined and our breathing in counterpoint, there were no more words. His hands were reverent and his lips were everywhere. The trail of tiny nibbles from my chin to my ear made me smile. His fingers linked with mine and he pulled my arms up over my head.

Every last inch of him sank deep. His cock throbbed and I clenched him tightly, using my muscles to squeeze in a slow easy rhythm. His lips came down on mine and his tongue mimicked everything his body was doing. I was wet enough to drip on the sheets below us. When I moaned, the sound was caught by his mouth.

My legs wrapped themselves around his thighs, then his waist. Tom caught my legs in his hands and lifted them over his shoulders. He pushed my thighs back, bending me almost double, looking down into my eyes in the semi-darkness while he poised right above me.

His next thrust took him deep enough to hit bottom. I cried out once in surprise. The fucking was deep but it was gentle, and Tom made every thrust count. He pulled out so far I could feel the air lick between us, then pushed in so deep I could hardly breathe.

I reached between us to play with my clit. I matched his strokes, moving my fingertips up and down, and Tom finally looked away from my face to watch my hands. I played with my nipples while I fingered my clit, and that’s when his strokes started to speed up. They weren’t hard yet, but there was the promise of that in every tense muscle, every deep breath and low moan.

The orgasm rose up from my spine, tingling all the way down to my toes. When I jerked under him, Tom sighed in approval. My pussy clenched rhythmically on his cock and he was coming right after me, pushing hard and filling me deep. The throbbing melted into pure sensation. Goosebumps covered my skin. I cried out loud with every wave of pleasure, and so did Tom, our voices bouncing together around the room.

Then he collapsed over me, pulling my legs down, wrapping his arms around me even though we were both covered in sweat. I shook in his arms and he kissed every place he could reach.

Eventually the heat became too much, and he lay on his back next to me, both of us staring up at the ceiling, touching only with our toes. Before he fell asleep he found my hand and linked his fingers with mine.

Long after he was snoring lightly beside me, I thought about the evening we had just had. I wiped tears from my eyes and stared at the ceiling while Tom breathed deeply beside me, his body twitching every now and then with whatever dream was running through his head.

Sleep took longer to come for me. I lay there and thought about my mother, the way she had been blindsided by the fact that her husband no longer wanted her. I hadn’t seen the parallels with my own life until that night. Michael had done the same thing to me, hadn’t he? Had I been expecting it all along, if not for the way he had treated me, but for the way my own history had been? Did I expect every man to leave me?

I listened to Tom’s breathing. Did I expect him to go away, too?

I was realizing that more and more of what I felt was coming from deep within, and had nothing to do with anything Tom might have said or done. The sexual explorations were opening up a lock on the trust I hadn’t given to anyone until now. The further we went, the more I learned about myself, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about those things.

But learning had awakened a sleeping beast inside me, a freight train of knowledge that was already running hard on the tracks. I couldn’t go back and hide in the little shell I had created for myself. I had to go forwards.

I fell asleep with that thought on my mind, and I awoke to Tom’s hands.

‘We had what we needed,’ he said. ‘Now let me give you what we wanted.’

His hands closed on my breasts and squeezed. My nipples were instantly hard, and he scraped his teeth carefully over them. His leg pushed roughly between mine, opening me up for him. I dug my nails into his shoulders and he bit down harder. When I was gasping with the thrill of it, he abandoned my nipples and made his way down my body. He dipped his tongue into my belly button. He blew cool air over my skin.

Tom sucked my clit into his mouth and slid two fingers inside me. I was still wet from the combination of arousal and him, and he groaned in approval as we both heard the sensual sound. Tom thrust those fingers in and out, delving as deep as he could and then pulling back to touch that oh-so-sensitive spot.

He pushed in a third finger.

I rose off the bed towards him, my hips moving in time with the thrusts of his hand. He hadn’t let up on my clit and, when he pushed deep and flicked his tongue over that sensitive button, I exploded. I saw stars behind my closed eyelids. I was coming down from the sensation when Tom surprised me by pulling his hand back and slowly sliding in four fingers.

‘Shhh,’ he murmured. ‘Easy, little one.’

He slowly pushed those four fingers deeper. I was stretched wide, not to a point of pain, but to a pleasant tingle I had rarely felt before. He twisted his hand and the sensation changed, became sharper. The burn began low in my belly, spiraling all the way down between my legs, making everything feel heavy and full.

The small twinge of fear was quickly overcome by desire. I knew Tom, I trusted him, and I had the safe word tucked away in the back of my mind.

I wanted this.

Tom watched my face. I spread my legs wider and shifted just a bit, bringing my bottom up. Tom took the cue and put a pillow underneath me. The angle made it easier to move into each other.

He began to slip his fingers in and out, gently stretching me each time he pushed forwards. He moved his fingers first in one way and then in the other, feeling every inch of me, preparing me for what I knew we would do before the sun came up.

‘More,’ I said.

Tom chuckled and kissed the inside of my thigh. ‘We’ll get there, baby.’

I reached down to touch myself. I ran my hands over my belly, down my hips, up the inside of my thighs, where Tom stopped me long enough to kiss each fingertip in turn. When I slid my fingers up and brushed them lightly over my clit, Tom exclaimed in surprise. ‘Don’t do that!’

‘Why?’

‘It makes you way too tight. You clench down every time you touch your clit.’

I lifted my hands to my nipples. I pinched down on them and Tom nodded against my thigh, his hair brushing across my skin.

‘Do that instead,’ he said, and even in the semi-darkness I could see his wicked grin.

He worked his fingers back and forth, sometimes twisting them, sometimes pushing deep. He played me with his thumb, sliding it around his other fingers, pushing it in a little at a time. Soon I was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, my thighs aching, my pussy throbbing.

‘Relax,’ he murmured.

I closed my eyes and tried to do just that. I thought about things that were soothing – the way Tom’s hand felt in my hair when he was feeling romantic, the way he held me when he drifted off to sleep, the sound of his truck pulling into the drive, the call of the birds in the early-morning hours before anyone else was awake.

As I relaxed into his touch, the heat of desire wound its way through my belly. My breath was fast and my heart was pounding, but my body was limp. It was a transcendental experience.

I came back to earth when Tom began to gently kiss the inside of my thighs. The stretching sensation was now a ring of heat, radiating outwards into every part of my body. My nipples were so hard, they hurt. Tingles of pleasure ran through my spine.

‘Tom,’ I whispered.

Tom twisted his hand and, with a sigh of satisfaction, pushed forwards one last time. This time the ring of heat became a ring of fire, but a second later his whole hand was sliding inside me. I started to tremble under him, shaken to the core by what he was doing to me.

His fingers moved slowly, exploring. His fingertips stroked my cervix and I jerked with the pleasure of it. Tom moaned as I clenched down on his hand. He watched my eyes from his place between my legs, hungrily soaking up every expression, every sigh and every moan. He twisted his hand from one side to another. His knuckles pressed against a certain spot that had never been caressed like that before. It sent me to the edge and back, over and over.

Then Tom leaned forwards and sucked my clit into his mouth.

The sensation was beyond anything I had ever imagined. My pussy contracted hard, but I was stretched so tightly, the natural spasms were a completely new feeling. There was the slightest bit of pain, but it was the good kind of pain, the kind that makes pleasure so much more intense. The heat spread all through my body, and the tingles reached even to my fingers and the tips of my toes.

Tom did not move. His head rested against my thigh as he looked at me. His expression was one of total awe.

Slowly I came back down to earth.

Tom gently moved his hand. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. The exhaustion was a surprise.

‘Easy, little one. Be still for me.’ Tom said, and carefully worked to slip his hand out. It was easier than putting it in, but it still took some time. I knew he was being careful not to hurt me, and I appreciated the kindness, but I was so tired I just wanted him to end it and lie down to sleep with me.

His hand came out of me with a rush of wetness. I slowly pulled my legs together. Much to my surprise, there was no pain. There was only a feeling of fullness and that pleasant tingle that I hoped would never go away, even as I knew it would go away much too quickly.

Tom disappeared for a moment, then came back with a cool washcloth. His gentleness lulled me into that place between consciousness and dreamland. He pulled the pillow out from under me and the slightest discomfort shot through my hips, the reminder that my muscles would be sore in the morning.

By the time Tom crawled up next to me and took me into his arms, I felt weak as a newborn kitten. I also felt powerful in a way I had never known. I had just done something I had always chalked up as a fantasy that would never be fulfilled, something I had never thought I could trust enough to really do. The whole experience had been perfect.

I smiled against his chest. My emotions were all over the place. One minute I wanted to cry, the next I was giggling like a schoolgirl. Tom took it all in stride, kissing my forehead and telling me with every touch that I was just as cherished as I felt.

‘Sleep, little one,’ he instructed, and I did.