There is no greater impediment to the advancement
of knowledge than the ambiguity of words.
—THOMAS REID
Do you remember the fable of Chicken Little? Just in case you’ve forgotten this classic, let me refresh you: One day, Chicken Little is walking in the woods when an acorn falls on her head. “Oh, my goodness!” she says, “The sky is falling! I must go tell the king.” On the way to the palace, she meets Henny Penny going into the woods to hunt for berries. “Oh no, don’t go!” she says, “I was just there, and the sky was falling! Come with me to tell the king.” So Henny Penny follows her.
They follow along until they meet Cocky Locky, who was going into the woods to hunt for seeds. “Oh no, don’t go!” says Chicken Little. “I was just there, and the sky was falling! Come with me to tell the king.” So Cocky Locky follows her and Henny Penny.
They follow along until they meet Turkey Lurkey going into the woods to look for berries. Same drill.
Finally, they meet up with Foxy Woxy, who asks where they’re going. Same warning from the feathered friends. But instead of following Chicken Little, Foxy Woxy says, “I know a shortcut to the palace.” Rather than the palace, he leads them to the entrance of the foxhole, where he plans to gobble them for dinner.
Just as they are about to enter, the king’s hunting dogs rush up growling and howling. They chase the fox away and save Chicken Little and her other fine-feathered friends. The smart king gives her an umbrella to carry for future walks in the woods.
So what’s the moral of this fable where personal presence is concerned? Consider the credibility gap the next time Chicken Little warns colleagues about impending danger.
Ask George W. Bush how he felt when the Coalition forces discovered no WMDs in Iraq. Never mind that the rest of the world thought Saddam Hussein had WMDs hidden there as well. Never mind that members of Congress from both parties also thought they’d find WMDs there. The former president writes in his memoir Decision Points, “No one was more shocked and angry than I was when we didn’t find the weapons…. I had a sickening feeling every time I thought about it. I still do.” In various interviews during his book tour, the former president explained that his disappointment stemmed from the fear about the change in perception of the war in the minds of the America people and their support of the effort to rid the world of Saddam and free the Iraqi people.18
Presence stems from perception. The president understood the critical importance of perception in leadership, decision making, and decisive action.
People shy away from those who jump to conclusions without checking the facts and who worry rather than weigh options. Worry leads to a gloom-and-doom demeanor, poor judgment, and hasty overreactions.
Nor are people attracted to those who practice hand-wringing and preach doom and gloom. A message of despair goes against human nature and the need to hope for the best. Who gets up in the morning and says, “I think I’ll turn on the news. Sure hope we had a terrorist attack somewhere last night. Or maybe a tornado or tsunami came through, knocked down some buildings, and killed someone I know”? Know anybody who buys a lottery ticket and tells the cashier, “Well, I’m betting this is a losing number”? Ever have a teammate say to you, “When this project was assigned to us, I was hoping it was going to be more difficult than what the boss described”?
People with presence think positively and want to be around others who do the same. Mature optimism is a cornerstone of healthy living. So when you’re habitually complaining that “the sky is falling,” they draw the conclusion that you’re overwhelmed, unprepared, and incapable of dealing with situations. None of which leads to building your presence and credibility.
That said, people don’t subscribe to the Emperor-Has-No-Clothes philosophy either. When a serious situation develops, leaders do not resort to pep talks and platitudes, pretending that all is well and that there’s nothing to be concerned about when everyone involved knows differently.
Leaders know that words shape thought. They provide healthy diets of hope while acknowledging a negative situation. All change—personal or organizational—begins by seeing reality and then creating a vision to improve upon it.
If sales are sinking, say so. If your team is performing poorly, own up to the numbers. If the organization looks lousy beside the competition, come clean about the market feedback. Nothing opens people’s minds and raises their estimation of your credibility like admitting the truth—and nothing decreases your credibility like ignoring the obvious or blaming, demonizing, or scapegoating others. You understand how pathetic it looks if you’ve ever heard politicians try to explain away election results after a dramatic loss or listened to CEOs try to explain away poor earnings after failure to achieve their goals.
Almost weekly, CEOs are asked to respond during media interviews about their organizations’ financial health. A few find it difficult to acknowledge the facts. You may recall this statement from Richard Fuld, former CEO of Lehman Brothers: “We are on the right track to put these last two quarters behind us.” Five days later, Lehman’s declared bankruptcy, the largest in U.S. history.
Lesson two: Accept responsibility for any part of the problem or situation you caused. Small people run from responsibility. Strong people shoulder it.
“You’ll do fine!” “Everything’s going to be fine—just wait and see.” “It’ll all work itself out. It always does.” Such are the assurances parents give their kids. You expect them and even appreciate them—at age thirteen. But to an adult hearing such platitudes from bosses, colleagues, or friends who could not possibly know the future and how a situation will actually turn out, the remarks sound empty, if not insulting to our intelligence.
That’s not to say you can’t offer comforting words. You can and should. But to be helpful and consoling, they should be the right words. People with presence know what to say when a colleague, friend, or family member experiences the death of a loved one, divorce, job loss, difficulty with a parent or child, or other tragedy or loss that produces strong emotion. Entire books have been written on these topics. (For my guidelines on what to say or write in these circumstances, go to www.sympathylettersonline.com.)
People with presence strive to get past the clichés and all-will-be-well platitudes to meaningful comments that comfort and help. They make an effort and care enough to learn to say the right thing at the right time.
Leaders understand the apprehension others feel about a potentially negative situation, and they can acknowledge that they don’t have all the answers. Most important, they feel powerful enough to sustain people with their presence rather than empty promises.
In a negative situation, people with presence focus others on positive alternatives and actions with the power of their words.
Several years back, I was a member of a large megachurch where an audit revealed that the pastor and a few staff members had misused funds, leaving the congregation on the verge of bankruptcy, with a more than $6.2 million debt. As a result of that situation, I had occasion to watch the lay leadership team there be straightforward about the reality of the situation, yet focus on positive alternatives and actions.
By their inspiring words, prayer, and a positive plan of action, within three years the church had paid off the massive debt incurred by the impropriety and had accumulated surplus funds. In fact, the lay leaders and new church staff led members to found another nonprofit with the excess funds collected: 6 Stones Mission Network. Now a separate and self-sustaining nonprofit, 6 Stones (www.6stones.org) offers a plethora of services to surrounding communities: rebuilding houses condemned by the city governments, providing free food and clothing to the needy, offering medical and educational assistance, and providing counseling services.
This nonprofit has received the following awards for their work in the Dallas–Fort Worth Metroplex: Community Service Award from the Chamber of Commerce, Volunteer Organization of the Year from the tri-city school district, and Volunteer Organization of the Year from the City of Euless, Texas.
What could have been an emotional, spiritual, financial, and legal disaster for its almost 10,000 members and their families has become an inspiration and a lifeline to literally thousands more.
To increase your credibility, stop sugarcoating, but ditch the down-in-the-mouth demeanor. Become a thought leader with helpful straight talk about the substantive issues.