A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook
the unbecoming, understand the unconventional,
tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected,
and outlast the unbearable.
—BILLY GRAHAM
Jonas comes tiptoeing into the bedroom at midnight after finishing his moonlighting job at The Ball Park at Arlington. Although he pulls a day job as an accountant, his second job contributes to the fun in his life—by including free admission to all the Texas Ranger games. His friend Bo, as a small business owner and equipment supplier to the team, hangs around with him to watch the game after the work’s done.
Already asleep at midnight, Jonas’s wife wakes up to ask him, “How was the game?”
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you. Just go back to sleep, and I’ll explain it in the morning.” She did and he did.
It seems that shortly after Hall-of-Fame pitcher and all-time MLB leader in no-hitters Nolan Ryan, current owner of the Texas Rangers, outbid Mark Cuban, Maverick owner, for the baseball team, he and his investors threw a big pregame bash at the stadium to celebrate. They invited all the MLB coaches and players to join them. Both former presidents, George H.W. Bush and son George W., himself a former owner of the Texas Rangers, joined them for the event.
The PR people gathered the press for the photo op. Presidents, Secret Service agents, MLB coaches, and a multitude of the famous players in the league arrived in the reception room. The head honcho marketing guy tells Nolan Ryan and the two presidents to form a receiving line, which they did—right beside where Jonas and his friend Bo just happened to be standing. All of a sudden, the first athlete is shaking their hands. “Good to meet you.” And the next. And the next: “Nice to see you.” And the line of pro players and celebrity coaches keeps coming.
George, George, Nolan, Jonas, and Bo. Plus the two Secret Service agents behind them. About the seventh or eighth person who sticks out a hand to introduce himself, the outliers stop trying to explain that they don’t belong in the receiving line and just enjoy themselves.
“Hi, I’m Bo. Nice to meet you, Brett.”
“Good to meet you, Coach.”
“Glad you could stop by, Josh.”
“Tony, good to meet you.”
Rather than getting uptight that someone would accuse them of crashing the party of star-studded guests when they accidentally wound up in the receiving line, Jonas and Bo could relax and enjoy meeting all their favorite pros and coaches. They offer a good example of a light approach to life.
And it made a great story the following week on their real job.
In our presentation skills workshops, a frequent question our consultants receive is this: “When is it okay to use humor in a business or technical presentation?” Answer: Almost always. The follow-up question: “How do you define humor? And where do you position the humor so that it works best?”
Humor, whether in a presentation or a conversation, doesn’t necessarily mean a joke or one-liner. In fact, jokes rarely work. If you’ve already heard them, assume that others have as well. Having a sense of humor simply means the ability to see life in a lighthearted way. Those who see everything as a matter of life-and-death wear a permanent frown and make those around them ill at ease.
Personal anecdotes, humorous quotations or comments overheard on the street, a cartoon quip, a visual, a prop, a facial expression or gesture added at the appropriate moment—these are the humorous touches that work best after you’ve established rapport with your colleagues.
Simply your willingness and ability to “lighten up” can be invaluable in positioning yourself as a confident person, comfortable in unscripted situations.
Your image can be tarnished irreparably when you use humor inappropriately. Several years ago, I spoke with a client about her needs for a new training program. She had asked our company to replace an instructor teaching their listening skills class. When I questioned her about the problem, she explained, “The course itself is fine. The instructor is the problem. She has absolutely no credibility with our group on the topic.”
“Why is that?” I probed, curious as to how an instructor could not have credibility as a listener. It’s not unusual that someone teaching leadership has not “led” any great organization, project, or effort. Or, a manager might be teaching negotiation skills without ever having negotiated a major contract. But no credibility as a listener? How could that be?
The client continued, “Well, the instructor would make a point about a good listening habit and even lead an exercise to practice it. But then she’d tell some funny incident about how she herself was a poor listener. For example, she emphasized the importance of listening carefully to people’s names when introduced and presented a technique for remembering names. But then she told a story about going into the hospital ER last weekend with her mother, who had kidney stones, and made a joke about how she kept forgetting the nurses’ names. She did that throughout the course—tell funny stories on herself as a poor listener until she had zero credibility with the class.”
Humor helps break down walls, for sure. But presence demands at least a walkway of reserve to protect your credibility.
In addition to inappropriate self-deprecating humor, be wary of humor directed at others.
Consider the brouhaha that arose over the Don Imus incident, when he was fired as host of the “Imus in the Morning” show on MSNBC for his off-the-cuff derogatory remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team (comments he thought were humorous and the public found otherwise).
Humor should be an affirmation of your humanity, not the cause of your downfall.
While humor eases stress, heals relationships, and positions you as a confident person, above all, it calls for good judgment. Keep these guidelines in mind:
Let those around you enjoy your company without feeling that they must be on guard for offense—for themselves or others. Your presence and good humor will be a refreshing lift in an otherwise routine day.