In the Gospel of John, Jesus asked a man who’d been sick a long time, “Do you want to be well?”
“I can’t, sir,” the man replied.
I’ve always thought I’d give a different answer.
I’ve recently walked through one of the most refining seasons of my life. Old health symptoms flared and new symptoms grabbed me by the throat. Anxiety surged and fear seemed to win the day. Current fears reminiscent of old threats instinctively made me curl up, cover my head, and brace for impact.
Day after day I felt prompted—strongly nudged, even—to revisit the passage in John chapter 5. But I couldn’t understand why. Of course I wanted to be well. I ate well. Drank lots of water. Guarded a consistent bedtime. Prayed the Scriptures. Embraced faith. And took my vitamins. What more could I do?
Yet one day the Lord whispered these words to my heart: “The storms reveal the lies we believe and the truths we need.”
I hated my storm. I wanted out of my storm. I couldn’t bear the thought of another significant health battle surfacing and the anxiety it stirred within me. But once I realized that God intended blessings for me even in the midst of this storm, I opened my eyes and looked around. And though painful to face and to own, I soon discerned the lies that had held me back. Here’s another important truth: Those lies had remained hidden before the storm.
Once I spotted the lies holding me captive, I also identified the truths that would set me free. Though I was clueless before the storm, I realized in the storm that I’d had my own “I can’t” answers for Jesus’ question Do you want to be well?
I know I’m not the only one. People everywhere are dealing with storms, symptoms, fears, rogue emotions, and anxieties that have upended their lives. A friend said to me the other day, “Dealing with emotional stress and crazy health symptoms is no longer just a topic for conversation. This is an epidemic crisis. People are stirred up, stressed out, and long to know the kind of health, freedom, and wholeness that Jesus promised us.” I asked a couple of friends—one a counselor, the other a doctor—if they were seeing the same thing. Without hesitation, both answered yes.
The pressures of life, the pain in our past, and the stress perspective we choose all swirl around us, and even more so within us. There’s not a woman who can honestly say that she’s unaffected by it all. And because of the storm, we react—if not inwardly, then outwardly—to our hurts, our fears, and our perspective, especially if it’s skewed. Eventually, our minds, bodies, and emotions suffer the accumulative effect of living an untended life in a stressed-out world.
I’ve learned a valuable lesson from my most recent storm, and it’s this: What happens in our souls happens in our cells. A distressed soul creates a distressed body. Where our thoughts most often go, our lives follow. And the hurts and heartbreaks that we endure? They too will settle into our souls and into our cells unless we learn to metabolize them1 with God’s help and loving perspective.
We live in a culture that is addicted to treating symptoms. We want just enough help to get us on our way so we can continue to live a life of just enough, good enough, well enough. But at what cost to our souls, our story, and our calling—not to mention the very quality of our lives?
Something within us changes when we understand and live as though Jesus cares about how we feel. And He does care! He cares if our soul feels empty or if it’s in distress. He cares if our body feels sick. He cares if our heart aches and if we just can’t get a handle on our fears. He’s with us on this journey. He’s for us. And He wants us well. He says so Himself:
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Matthew 11:28–30
Scoot closer and revisit this statement: “Let me teach you.”
There’s a path for us to take where Jesus’ yoke fits us perfectly. There’s a place of faith for us to stand in the storm, where we’ll know peace and strength where we once knew angst and fear. There’s a promise written over our lives that compels us to dream about our future right in the face of our fears. There’s a way to walk in Christ’s light and easy yoke while living in a burdened, upside-down world. Jesus invites us to flourish here, right where we live.
Embracing the Mystery
I never ever thought I’d write a book on restoration, wholeness, and healing. Because, quite honestly, I’ve struggled with some of the theology that proclaims that God always heals, and if you don’t get your healing, it’s because you don’t have enough faith. People said those kinds of things to me in my early years when I battled Lyme disease; not only were the comments not helpful, they were downright hurtful.
For years I’ve felt protective of those who’ve suffered long without a breakthrough. I’ve asked God to give them a gift of faith. I’ve asked God to protect them from people who sound like Job’s friends and who assess the sufferer with the preface You know what your problem is?
Those who’ve suffered long don’t need more ought-to’s and should-do’s. Those compassionless statements only make our burden heavier.
But the thing is, when we suffer long, we get used to our situation. We identify with it. And we lose our sense of expectancy. I know this well from personal experience.
It’s in those places that we need hope and God’s perspective. He doesn’t leave us in our pain. He redeems us right in the midst of it. God still moves, still cares, and will do something in our situations that we never expected if we will dare to lift our eyes and trust Him, and if we’ll determine to contend for the promise that He’s put before us. God’s promises are as potent as they’ve ever been.
And while I still believe that God performs miracles in our day, I also believe there’s a mystery to this thing called life. Godly people get sick and die. Other godly people live but with disabilities. Two such people come to mind immediately.
Joni Eareckson Tada is bound to a wheelchair from a diving accident. She’s even battled breast cancer as a quadriplegic. How much can one person handle? And yet, and yet, what God has done through this woman is nothing short of miraculous. How He has used her is downright breathtaking. And what she has suffered on this earth is nothing compared to the glory that awaits her in heaven. Scripture says so (see Romans 8:18).
I also think of my friend Jennifer Rothschild, who is legally blind. Last time we chatted I got the feeling that she senses she’ll see her healing when she sees Jesus, and not until then. But when that woman speaks, God moves.
Both Joni and Jennifer are beautiful, brave, and bold—completely dependent on the Lord for their lives and their futures.
Though this book is about the broader topic of wholeness, restoration, and breakthrough, I must say, there’s a lot of heat around the topic of healing. Those who’ve prayed earnestly for a loved one only to have him or her die are so deeply disappointed that they sometimes get angry when the topic comes up. They’re done risking faith on the things that matter most to them. And who can blame them?
Then there are those who’ve experienced a true-blue miracle and long for the rest of us to keep contending, keep believing so that we too will experience our own miracle. There’s a part of me that feels very much this way even amidst some of my own not-yets, losses, and heartbreak.
You can see why this conversation almost forces us to choose one of two camps (and I’ve heard rants from both of these extremes):
Lord have mercy on us for the countless ways we’ve divided over theology that actually requires faith, a willingness to embrace mystery, and a heart set on the Father’s love!
If you’re willing, let’s embark on a journey and explore Jesus’ desire to see us flourish, to heal our soul, and to make us whole. Sometimes we’ll get an immediate miracle, but I’d say more often, our healing-wholeness journey is more of a process. No matter what ails us—be it emotionally, physically, or circumstantially—God has more for us. We’re not meant to stay stuck here.
But to get unstuck, we need a sense of expectancy. Hope needs to make a comeback. Can we toss aside our preconceived notions and see if Jesus won’t meet us in a fresh new way and even upgrade our faith? Dare we consider the notion that this kingdom life might be far more transformative than we once thought?
My recent heartbreak and health battle compelled me to dig deeper into God’s promises regarding health, healing, and wholeness. I don’t know that I’d say my faith has changed as a result of my most recent battle, but it certainly has deepened. I’m convinced—like never before—that God intends to do miracles in our day. I believe—with all my heart—that we’d see far more miracles on the earth today if there were more faith in our hearts. May God stir up a fresh gift of faith in us!
But I also firmly believe that there’s a mystery to God’s ways and that we don’t dictate to Him; instead, we serve Him, honor Him, revere Him, and trust Him. Godly people get sick and die. I look at men like my dear brother-in-law Donny, or Nabeel Qureshi, the Christian apologist and author. Both of them died of cancer—far too young. But I now see that they won their battle. They didn’t lose it. Cancer no longer grips them in its ugly, devastating clutches or robs them of health and peace. They’re with Jesus—full, healed, and free. And our time with them will far exceed our short time without them.
I also remember my very first mentor and her battle with throat cancer. One day, with fire in her eyes and her handheld voice box pushed up against her throat, she said, “Susie, God is with me here. Don’t you doubt that for a second. And He will take me when He can get more glory from my death than He does from my life.”
I’ll never forget her words or her faith. She lived a fruitful, faithful life. She lost nothing and gained heaven. The loss was ours. We miss her. But we’ll see her again.
And there are those whose lot involves life with a disability. Such a cross. Such a cost. But God is with them, and He’ll either miraculously heal them, or He’ll miraculously use them in a way that allows them to flourish and reflect the Father’s heart right in the midst of their vulnerability. Life on earth is short. Eternity is long. God’s promises are true. And if you follow Jesus through the Gospels, you’ll find a Savior who cares deeply about the human condition.
What, Then, Are We Called to Do?
That fact—our Savior’s heart for the human condition—is what brings us the assurance that God wants us to thrive, and He’s with us every step of the way.
You and I need to make some adjustments amidst the craziness of this world and the toxicity of our times. God offers us wisdom from above, wisdom that’s unique to us and to our situation. But in order for us to know the fullness and the restoration that are possible for us as heirs of God, we have some things to learn. We cannot and must not keep grinding our gears through life while ignoring the physical and emotional toll that our hardships have had on us. Neither can we ignore the mental and/or emotional symptoms that are trying to get our attention.
I can’t prove this, but I believe there’s a trapdoor in our hearts that drops things into our souls. Our soul is the place where our emotions brew and our hurts collide, and the turmoil of it all can put the squeeze on our hopes, our dreams, and our perspective. Jesus wants peace to rule and reign in our hearts so that we can prosper in our soul. He wants us to flourish in every way possible.
My beloved friend, I pray that everything is going well for you and that your body is as healthy as your soul is prosperous.
3 John 1:2 THE VOICE
So here’s what we’re going to do on this journey:
We’re going to pursue wholeness.
And we’re going to pray for a miracle.
We’re going to ask God for a fresh vision of what flourishing can look like for us, and then we’re going to position ourselves on the path of healing—whatever it takes. Some of this will be hard. But you’re no stranger to hard. You’ve done it before. We can do hard if it leads us to a better life, right? We’re going to roll up our sleeves, take inventory of our habits, give our soul some room to breathe, and maybe change a few of our ways so we can enjoy better health.
And then we’re going to go before the Most High God, who loves us with a passion we cannot fathom, and we’re going to ask Him for a miracle, because He’s the same God yesterday, today, and forever. He loves us, and He still performs miracles today.
Maybe yours is an emotional miracle. You want to be delivered from the constant stress of being at the mercy of your roller-coaster emotions. You’re going to do the work of renewing your thoughts and of standing on God’s promises. You’re going to get at the root cause of your fears. Then you’re going to ask God to do what only He can do. Imagine what a miracle might look like in your life. Do you believe God can and wants to intervene on your behalf?
Maybe yours is a physical miracle. You’ve suffered a long time. And though you’re weary, you’re not giving up. You’re about to make some adjustments that might just be game-changers for you. You’re about to learn how to separate your emotions from your symptoms. You’re about to build a new infrastructure in your thought life. And together, we’re going to err on the side of faith for you, and ask God to do what only He can do.
Maybe yours is a relational miracle. Your heartbreak has taken a toll on your soul. Are you ready to give Jesus access to your heartbreak and disappointment? Are you ready to separate your hurts from your heart so you can discern what’s yours and what’s God’s to carry? He has wisdom for you that will bring peace back to your soul once again. He has a path of peace for you that will replenish you before the answer comes. And let’s together ask God to intervene in the lives of those you love, in the way only He can.
Consider this your opportunity for physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual reset.
We’ll not only replace defeating thoughts with redemptive ones, we’ll confront the enemy’s attempts to derail us. We’ll have an answer for the onslaughts of anxiety, fear, and worry that threaten to swallow us whole. We’ll learn to stand more firmly on God’s truth even when it doesn’t feel true. We’ll not only put fear under our feet, we’ll learn to believe in our hearts the reason Jesus told us not to fear.
We’ll not only revisit those painful memories that surface time and time again, we’ll do so under the protection and direction of God’s great love and care for us.
We’ll not only rid ourselves of some of the destructive habits that have weakened us over time, we’ll incorporate some new life-giving habits that will strengthen us and prove themselves in a matter of weeks.
We’ll not only identify the roadblocks to our soul-healing, we’ll finally have an answer for Jesus when He asks us, “Do you want to be well?” Our answer will be a resounding YES! And that’s why we’re about to take this journey.
We’ll revisit John chapter 5 and reconsider the man attached to his mat. We’ll take a closer look at his encounter with Jesus and see if we can see ourselves in a similar predicament. We’ll deal with the “I can’ts” embedded in our souls. But for now, let’s consider a change of heart where we need one. Instead of asking for a break, let’s press in and ask for a breakthrough.
In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free.
Psalm 118:5
Consider our time together as an epic journey for the soul. Are you ready? It’s time for some spiritual soul healing. But don’t be afraid. Focus on the outcome. Remind yourself that when we passionately pursue Jesus and we respond to the inner work that He initiates, we’ll be more firmly established in the abundant life He promised us. We’ll be strategically positioned and equipped to help countless others find their path of wholeness.
May Jesus pour out His precious Spirit in a fresh new way as you dare to trust Him to live fully and freely through you.
In this with you~
Susie Larson
PS: I am not a doctor. I am not a counselor. I am the poster child for the truth from Scripture that expresses how God chooses foolish things and the weak things of the world to communicate His ways (my paraphrase). This book isn’t intended to be a substitute for counseling, nor should you start any diet or exercise program without first talking with your doctor. But if you long to come alive and thrive, I do pray you’ll take the next steps with courage and honesty and see if God doesn’t meet you in the most personal and profound way.
PPS: I’ve never written a more raw book. I’ve emptied my pockets for this one. You’re about to get an inside look at my great unearthing. But wow, Jesus met me here! And I believe He’s about to do the same for you. This is not a light read, nor is it a book to rush through. Give yourself some time and space to do this inner work. You’ll be richer for it. I’ll be praying daily for you.