How to Walk on Water

1581

“How to walke on the water. For to doe this, take two little Timbrels, and binde them vnder the soles of thy feete, and at a staues end fasten an other; and with these you maie safely walke on the water, vnto the wonder of all suche as shall see the same: if so be you often exercise the same with a certaine boldnesse and lightnesse of the bodie.”

Thomas Hill, Naturall and Artificiall Conclusions

Good news: all it takes to walk on water is a couple of tambourines and a quick step. I’m off to practice this unto the wonder of all such as shall be swimming laps at the gym.