How to Use Bacon

c. 530

“As for raw bacon which, so I hear, the Franks have a habit of eating… they are healthier than other people because of this food. Let me give a good example so that what I am writing may be believed: thick bacon, placed for a long time on all wounds, be they external or internal or caused by a blow, both cleanses any putrefaction and aids healing. Look at what power there is in raw bacon, and see how the Franks heal what doctors try to cure with drugs or with potions.”

Anthimus, De obseruatione ciborum

The bacon Band-Aid: it will save you a trip to the emergency room.