I was almost seven months along, and I was definitely showing. It didn’t matter how loose my dress was or if I wore all black, my baby bump was impossible to miss. I wasn’t ashamed of it, not in the least, but I was definitely getting uncomfortable.
I stepped inside the Tuscan Rose located in central Rome and greeted the staff at the front desk. After chitchat and a rundown of the latest at the hotel, I walked to my office, passing the flowers and paintings on the way. I lowered myself into my chair and looked at all the paperwork waiting for me.
This hotel was very different from the previous one. There were no shady characters having clandestine meetings in the bar and conference rooms. There were nothing but good people, honest people. It was much less stressful, and I never worried about seeing someone I didn’t want to see.
I felt like I could move on with my life.
Of course, I missed my husband…ex-husband.
But I got everything else I wanted. My mother and I bought a nice place in the city, and I had the baby’s room ready to go. I was close to a good school and walking distance from work. There was never any talk of drug dealers or crime.
It was normal.
Antonio, the hotel manager, came into my office. He was a young man to have been promoted to such a high level, but the more I got to know him, the more I understood why he deserved the position. He was meticulous about everything, just the way I was. He cared about the minor misalignment of the flowers in the lobby, if a painting on the wall was slightly crooked, if a tie wasn’t perfectly straight. All the little details were just as important as the big ones.
He walked up to my desk and set a folder in front of me. “Schools are starting to get out for Easter vacation. Our hotel is at full occupancy.”
“That’s great.” I hadn’t seen full occupancy in Florence, not once. But Rome was a bigger tourist destination.
“We have a couple big clients staying with us, and another wedding has just been booked. I collected payment. You should see it reflected in your records by the afternoon.” He wore a collared shirt tucked into his slacks with a tie, looking professional but not stuffy. He had classically olive skin and dark hair, and his nicest feature was his smile. He was always smiling.
“Thanks so much. I’ll take care of it when I see it.”
He glanced down to my stomach. “How are things with him?”
My hand immediately brushed over my stomach. “He’s doing well. He’s a bit feisty with his kicking, but he’s good.”
He nodded. “Maybe he’ll be a football player.”
I chuckled. As long as he wasn’t a drug dealer, I would be happy.
“I’ll see you later.” He left the office.
Once he was gone, the sorrow settled into my bones. I was happy in Rome, and more importantly, I was safe in Rome. I had a life I’d always wanted, to run my own hotel and have a family. But losing Hades was like losing a piece of myself. I loved that man and always would. I doubted I could ever love anyone else in the same way.
We hadn’t spoken much since I left. He didn’t try to get me to stay, and he didn’t try to halt the divorce filing. He let me go with resignation, and that told me he knew this was the best thing for me, that it was the only way I would be safe.
Even if it was the right thing to do, it didn’t make it easier for the two of us. But we knew we needed to give each other space because if we talked all the time, it would make the separation more difficult.
I knew Hades would always be in Andrew’s life…but he wouldn’t necessarily be in mine.
Maddox had ruined my life. Even if decades passed and I remarried, I would still hate him with every fiber of my being.
He took my husband away…and I would never be whole.
At five o’clock, I left my office and walked out of the hotel. While I was constantly aware of my surroundings, I wasn’t paranoid the way I used to be. No one was out to get me. No one wanted me. There was nothing to worry about—and that was a good feeling.
“Hey, pretty lady.” A man came to my side and kept up with my stride as I headed down the sidewalk.
I wasn’t alarmed by the sudden company because I recognized the sound of his voice. It was similar to Hades’s. I stopped and turned to Ash, my brother-in-law—my former brother-in-law. “What are you doing here?”
He used to be so dark and formidable, but now he was much more cheerful. The old hostility he used to show to Hades had disappeared. He usually had jokes up his sleeve. “I was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d stop by.”
I hadn’t spoken to him since the divorce started. I hadn’t really spoken to anyone since we’d signed the papers. My world came crashing down, and I removed myself from society. I was so depressed, I didn’t think I could go on. If I weren’t having Andrew, I probably would’ve caved and gone back by now, but I had to do the right thing for my son. He couldn’t live in a world where he was always in danger. I was happy to see Ash, but I really didn’t know what to say. He looked similar to his brother, and that hurt my heart a little bit.
His eyes slowly softened with sorrow. “How are you?”
My hand glided over my stomach. “Andrew is healthy, and I’ve kept busy.”
“So, my brother told you his real name.”
I nodded. He shared everything with me.
“That’s a good name. Ash would’ve been better…but it’s good enough.”
He successfully got me to smile a little bit.
“Can I walk you home?”
“I only live a few blocks away.”
“Good. Because I hate to walk.”
Together, the two of us walked down the street and headed to the three-story home I’d bought for my mother and me to live in. My mom had a few friends in the city, so she stayed busy socializing. She even came to the hotel and worked with the decorators to keep the ambiance fresh.
There was a lot of silence because I didn’t know what to say. I liked Ash, but being around him only reminded me of what I’d lost. I had to move on with my life, move on from Hades, but that was impossible if I had to spend time with his brother. But since I was having Ash’s nephew, I would always be connected to both of the Lombardi brothers.
I took control of the conversation. “How are you?”
He shrugged. “You know, all sex and money.”
“So, things are good?”
“Very good. What about you?”
“You already asked that.”
He gave me a serious look. “And you never really answered the question.”
I shrugged. “What do you want me to say? It’s been hard…”
“It’s been hard for him too.”
I never called Hades to shoot the breeze. I never asked how he was doing. I imagined he’d moved on with his life, replaced me in his bed, and I didn’t want to know any of those things. I knew he was sad about our breakup, but he was probably bedding other women to get through it. And that made me sick to my stomach…even when it shouldn’t. “Is he doing okay?”
Ash took his time before he answered. “As well as he possibly could be, I guess.”
“It’s been two months, but it feels like two days. It’s been rough, but there was no other solution.”
“Unfortunately.”
I kept walking until we reached my front door. “This is me.”
Ash looked up at the three stories then turned back to me. “It’s nice.”
“Thanks.”
“I’d invite myself inside, but I don’t trust myself around you now that you’re single.” He winked, telling me he was teasing me.
I smiled at his comment.
“You can call me if you need anything.”
“Did Hades ask you to say that?”
He shook his head. “No.”
My eyes softened.
“We’ll always be family.”
I lay in bed in the middle of the night. My hand rested over my stomach, and I focused on the feeling of Andrew’s kicks. They were gentle but distracting enough that I couldn’t sleep. Hades had never felt his son kick. I’d left too soon, and he never had the honor other fathers did. It was moments like these that made me miss Hades the most. I felt alone; I felt scared. We should be doing this together, not apart.
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and looked at the screen. There was no message from Hades. There was never a message from him. He’d let me go with an aloof stare, like he knew it was the best thing for me, but he resented me all the same. I wanted to call him, but I knew I shouldn’t. It was too soon to have a close relationship, to be friends who had a kid.
Could we ever be friends?
I stared at my phone for a while, considering what I should do. The silence was suffocating. I didn’t just lose my husband, but my best friend, my everything. My life felt so much emptier without him. Maybe that would change when Andrew was here, but I knew there would always be a hole in my heart.
Maybe it was because I was lonely, maybe it was because I missed him too much, but I called him. The blue light lit up my dark room, and I pressed the phone to my ear and listened to it ring.
It didn’t ring for long. His deep voice announced itself over the phone, quiet but strong. “Sofia.” He didn’t say it with the same affection he used to possess. There was a tone of melancholy in his voice, slight betrayal. But he was there, answering my call like he promised he would.
“I hope it’s not a bad time.” It was one thirty in the morning, so it was a stupid thing to say. If he wasn’t asleep, he was working. Or worse, he had company over. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone had replaced my spot in the bed. My ex-husband was the sexiest man in the world. With beautiful brown eyes and the body of a Roman soldier, he was the sort of man any woman would give up anything to be with. The thought of someone else made me weak, so I tried not to think about it.
“No.” He never talked much, even during our happier times, but he was speaking even less than normal. The old camaraderie was absent. He almost felt like a stranger now. That was probably because he was. We hadn’t spoken in weeks. His feelings, his opinions were totally foreign to me. “Are you okay?”
I missed hearing that question. When I was his wife, I was the center of his whole world. My well-being was the only thing that mattered. But now I wasn’t his responsibility anymore, and that made me feel so distant from him. “I’m fine. Andrew is kicking a lot, and I can’t sleep.” My hand moved over my stomach as I lay under the warm blankets. I was on the top floor, and my mother was on the second floor. “He’s been really ornery for the last couple of days. I’ve been eating a lot of spicy food, but I think that’s just a coincidence.”
He didn’t release a chuckle or give any indication he’d heard what I said.
“I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple days…if you want to come.”
He sighed loudly over the phone. “Of course I do. I’ll be there.”
I wanted to stay on the phone with him forever, but there was nothing to say. I couldn’t even ask him about work because that would mean I would be asking him about Maddox. I couldn’t ask about Damien because they weren’t friends anymore. I couldn’t ask about anything…
But I continued to sit there because it was better than nothing.
“Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah. Just busy with work and my mother.”
“That’s one thing I don’t miss…”
A small smile came over my face. But then I wondered if he missed me. He never told me he loved me anymore or stopped by for a random visit. When we’d decided to end things, he seemed like he wanted it more than I did. It was crazy to think we’d been so in love just months ago, and now we were so far apart. The only thing keeping us together was the baby we made.
It made me hate Maddox even more.
Hades’s deep voice made the phone vibrate. “I’ll let you get some sleep.”
Disappointment deflated my lungs like popped balloons. I wasn’t sure what I expected him to say. We had nothing to talk about other than how miserable we were. I didn’t want to hear about his personal life, and I didn’t have a personal life at all. We could talk about our son, but since he hadn’t been born yet, there wasn’t much to say. “Goodnight…”
“Goodnight.”