23

Four hours later I left the War Room, my head swimming with facts and possibilities, rumors and fears, plans and potential outcomes.

“I need a drink,” I muttered to Emmory as we headed down the hallway.

“You need some food, Highness. Alba had lunch sent to your rooms.”

“Can I have a drink with lunch?”

He didn’t crack a smile and waited until we passed a group of young nobles—all of whom stopped their excited chatter about the news long enough to bow and curtsy to me—before he answered. “You don’t have to play the uncouth gunrunner with me, Highness.”

“Who’s playing?” I asked, and picked up my pace. I was desperate to get out of this hideous sari. “I am an uncouth gunrunner.”

“I would prefer not to remind them of that.”

“Yes, it would upset their delicate sensibilities.”

Now he did smile and it was amused. “I am thinking more of the fact that I’d rather not remind them how dangerous you are. The events of the other day notwithstanding, several enterprising reporters have already discovered that many of the rumors about you are not rumors at all. I don’t want our enemies figuring that out for themselves before we have a chance to show them.”

“You’re getting bloodthirsty, Ekam,” I said, pausing outside my door as we ran through the security check. Amazing how something could become so routine in so little time. Willimet stayed at my side with Emmory as the other two went through the door.

“It’s a necessity, Highness. My job is to keep you safe. I can’t do that when there’re people out there trying to kill you.”

“They die or I die, huh?”

“No, Highness. They die. There is no or.”

I didn’t know how to respond to his deadly quiet certainty, so I swallowed and headed into my rooms.

“Highness.” Zin nodded at me as I came through the door.

“Welcome back. We missed you.”

“Your lunch is ready,” he said.

“I want to get out of this first.” I pointed a finger at him. “Then I want your report.”

Zin bowed.

I stopped short in the doorway to my bedroom. “What in the fires—” I swallowed the curse back as Stasia straightened and stared at me in shock.

“Ma’am?” The flowers trembled in her hand, steadied. “You don’t like it? Zin said you’d—”

Spinning back around, I jabbed a finger in Zin’s direction. “You did this?”

He looked as shocked as Stasia. “Emmory mentioned that you’d—yes, ma’am. If you don’t like it, we’ll take it out.”

I shook my head, tears clogging the words in my throat, and turned away again. Striding into my room, I dropped down in front of the statue of Ganesh that now rested on the dark wooden table in the corner.

It was gorgeous. Perfect. Exactly what I would have picked out for myself. My hand shook as I reached it out and touched His lifted foot.

Emmory and Zin had done this. Like Portis, they understood me—the real me—and I couldn’t even blame it on the extensive file they’d compiled on me as Trackers. They just got me. Emmory must have heard my vow to Ganesh and passed the information on to Zin before he came back to the palace.

Tears slid down my face, but I didn’t even care as the last piece of my broken heart slipped into place with the quiet snick of an unlocked door. The statue did exactly what I needed, cutting through the bands of tension and anxiety wrapped around me with effortless speed.

My Trackers had turned into my touchstones in such a short time. Zin would never question me like Emmory did, but I was starting to suspect he’d keep me sane even in the darker days.

In just a few short weeks I trusted these men as much as I had trusted Portis after years of being together. I couldn’t explain it, didn’t even want to question it and risk the whole thing crumbling around me. It wasn’t logical, it was just life.

The sounds of Stasia quietly shooing everyone out of my room filtered through the ringing in my head.

“Ma’am?” The smell of chai preceded her words, sweet spice and steam chasing away the memory before I could fully recall it.

I took the cup with a smile. “They did good.”

“They did, ma’am. Should I tell them?”

“If you would, please. Tell Emmory I’ll be out to eat in a moment, too, or he’ll fuss.”

As soon as the door closed, I bowed low before the altar, whispering a chant I knew by heart. I kissed my fingertips and patted Ganesh’s foot before I rose and started unwinding the mile-long pink atrocity I’d been suffering in since daybreak.

I didn’t bother to call Stasia back into the room, dressing myself in a pair of black pants and a plain white shirt. The fabric settled around me, a far better fit than the sari I’d just discarded.

“Alba, what’s the likelihood of a huge outcry if we had the coronation tonight?” I asked the question as I came back into the main room.

I was a little surprised my chamberlain considered my suggestion instead of dismissing it outright. She cocked her head to the side, her eyes focused on the window to my right and her lips pursed. I’d come to recognize it as a sign that she was running through options, so I took the opportunity to grab some food.

“Highness.”

I took the glass of Alcarix whiskey from Emmory with a grin. He gave me the Look and leaned a hip on the table. I cheerfully ignored him, flopping down into my chair and grabbing a fork.

“I just don’t think it’s doable, Highness,” Alba finally said. “Technically, all we really need is for someone to put the crown on your head and the matriarchs to swear their allegiance. But the logistics of that and the subsequent rumors that would accompany such a rush job…” She trailed off with a tiny shrug.

We were in limbo here, vulnerable as long as Mother was still on the throne in her unstable mental state. Worse, I didn’t have a huge power base and I couldn’t afford to start off my reign under any suggestions of impropriety.

Knowing exactly what she meant didn’t make it any easier. If the Saxons decided to really start something in the next forty hours—

“Alba, what happens if the Saxons declare war on us? Officially, I mean?”

Bless my chamberlain, but she didn’t even blink. Even in this short amount of time she’d started to figure out how my brain worked and could follow along without missing the beat.

“We’d be at war, Highness. The Articles of Conflict would be in effect.”

The articles called for zero confusion in the chain of command during times of war. One such provision dealt directly with the scenario we were facing here: that if the current empress was in the process of abdicating the throne, the heir would automatically assume control. No coronation, no fuss, no approval from the Matriarch Council.

“Good.” Sipping at my drink, I waved the other hand in the air. “We won’t worry about it then.”

Maybe it was arrogance on my part, but I already knew I had the backing of a chunk of the military and of most of the Matriarch Council anyway. They would do what was necessary until my coronation to keep the empire safe, and if not, I had a legal excuse to put my ass on the throne without all the pomp and circumstance.

“Yes, ma’am. If that’s all?”

I stretched my legs out and nodded at Alba. “It is. You go on. I know you have a lot still to do for tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you in the morning.” She bowed and left the room.

“Emmory?”

He spotted my gesture, answering it with a nod. “We’re clear, Highness.”

“What did you find out?” I asked Zin. “Quick and dirty version.”

His grin was bright and Emmory actually elbowed him, dragging a laugh from me. I cleared my throat and gave them both a look.

“I followed Laabh around for a bit. He’s got a group of friends, some of whom are interesting company for a member of the royal family. Then I had a long conversation with the youngest grandson of Ganda’s number-one fan on the council, Matriarch Khatri.”

“Did you now?” I murmured, digging into my food.

“He’s going to spend the next few days in a Tracker holding facility. Technically it’s not illegal detention, Highness. He did confess to plotting against the throne.” Zin continued when I nodded. “About a year ago young Hebin fell in with a bad crowd, radical members of the Upjas who weren’t happy with the alliances Abraham Suda was making.”

“You mean my sister.”

“Hebin didn’t say as much, but I suspect that’s what it was. Laabh and several others in their social circle used to throw parties and sneak out to attend these clandestine meetings. Anyway, he and Laabh were approached by a man shortly after one of the gatherings. Laabh and the man hit it off and regularly went out to dinner. Hebin occasionally tagged along. One night about ten months ago, the man—Hebin didn’t know his name—asked for an introduction to his grandmother.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Let me guess. This is our mystery man.”

“I’m assuming so. The alternative is that there’s yet another person involved here, someone else we don’t know about.” Zin shrugged. “I’d just as soon that not be the case. Hebin managed to arrange a meeting. He doesn’t know what was discussed, only that both Laabh and Ganda were there. After that, he said it seemed like Ganda was hanging around his grandmother’s house more often.

“About five months ago he stopped going to the underground meetings, said that the tone had taken a decidedly ominous turn and that Laabh had started acting weird.”

“Define weird.”

“Being more and more outspoken about how his sister had no right to rule. More aggressive in the meetings with the Upjas. He was always properly polite when at the matriarch’s house and around Ganda, but Hebin said his behavior with other women was decidedly improper.”

“Interesting.” I got to my feet and leaned against the mantel, staring down into the fire. “There’s more, I gather?”

“A lot, but that’s the quick version. I’ll write up a report for you.”

“Do you think that they’re really dealing with a radical sect of the Upjas?” That was the catch here, and it was difficult for me to be clearheaded about the whole mess. I wanted to believe that Abraham Suda hadn’t sold my sister out for some promise of change that was going to jeopardize the stability of the empire itself.

“I think so, Highness, but there’s no way to know for sure.”

There was, but Emmory wasn’t going to like it. “Emmory, would you do a favor for me?” Tossing back the rest of my drink bolstered my courage some, and I plowed forward with all the grace of a Carsian mastodon. “I want you to go get Abraham Suda. Tell him I want to talk, see if he’ll come with you; but if he won’t, then drag his ass out of whatever hole he’s hiding in.”

“You want me to try to track down the leader of the Upjas the day before Pratimas? Highness, the Saxons practically declared war on us a few hours ago. You’re going to be out in the open the majority of the day tomorrow and someone is still trying to kill you. Do I really need to remind you how dangerous the next forty hours are going to be?”

“No, but I apparently need to remind you that I’m not an idiot.” I set my glass down and went back to eating, but the food tasted like ash and I tossed my fork onto the plate. “I didn’t say track him down, Emmy. I said get him. I’m pretty sure you figured out where he was the day after we got settled in here.”

“You have a high estimation of my skills, Highness.” Emmory had his poker face on.

“You still think they’re trying to kill me,” I countered and got up to refill my glass, poking a finger at Zin on my way by. “And your partner here isn’t as good at the blank-face thing as you are. I’m not going to let this go, Emmory, and lying to my face will only force me to do this on my own. Besides I don’t want to wait until tomorrow, I want to talk to him now. I need an answer. I need to know if he’s trying to kill me or not.”

“Highness—”

“No, listen, Emmory. I need to talk to Abraham. I need to see his face.” The whiskey burned on the way down and I turned to my BodyGuard. “It’s the only way I’ll know if he’s still in love with my sister or if he’s responsible for her death.”

You’d have thought I’d pulled out my gun and shot Emmory the way he was gaping at me.

Zin cleared his throat. “Highness, I don’t know if you’ve thought this all the way through. We can find him, but it’s unlikely that he’ll come with us willingly, especially into the palace. If we have to drag him back, it means the Upjas will be fighting us the whole way.”

I had thought it through, actually, which meant I felt like ten shades of bastard for what came out of my mouth next. “I know, Zin. That’s why you’re going with Emmory and why you’ll stay there.”

If Emmory could kill with just that Look of his, I’d have died on the spot. Ice-cold fingers dug into the back of my neck, shooting a tremor down my spine.

“Let’s go, Emmory.” Zin’s movement startled us both. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Highness, but you two will stand there all night if I let you. Exchanging me for Abraham will prove we don’t want to harm him.”

“And Taz will make sure no harm comes to you,” I said with a nod. “Believe me, Zin, if I thought there were any other way—”

“There’s not. It’s damn brilliant and he knows it.” Zin jerked his head in Emmory’s direction.

“Take the exit in my closet.” I was surprised my knees held as I headed for my bedroom and keyed the hidden door open with shaking fingers. “You can get in this way if I let you in. Everyone will think you’re still with me.”

Zin smiled and nodded once at me before he ducked into the opening. Emmory didn’t say a word and he froze when I grabbed his arm.

“We need to know, Emmory. I promise they won’t hurt him.”

“You can’t know that,” he replied and slipped into the darkness without saying good-bye.

I am no good at waiting. Working with Hao taught me patience of a sort, and I could plan out my moves with what others must have assumed was some bottomless well of calm. Once I had my plan, however, it was no holds barred.

The hour Emmory and Zin were gone was an eternity. I paced my bedroom and drank whiskey because there wasn’t anything else to do until I heard a tapping on the door in my closet. Grabbing my SColt, I held it loosely in my right hand while I unlocked the door with my left.

“You asked me here, Hail, why the gun?” The years had been kind to the man my older sister had loved. Abraham’s blue eyes were like pools of water in his dark-skinned face—a handsome face that gave no hint of the steel resolve within his soul.

I still didn’t understand how Cire had walked away from Ab to do her duty. How he had let her marry another man. So gods-damned noble—the both of them—it made my teeth hurt.

“Someone’s trying to kill me. I think I’m entitled.” I rolled my eyes at him and shoved the gun into my waistband so I could help him and then Emmory to their feet. My Ekam no longer vibrated with anger so I dared a little smile in his direction.

It wasn’t returned.

“Okay, let’s get this done. If you’re gone too long, your people might get twitchy, and if anything happens to Zin, I’ll have to kill you. Believe me, it’ll be nicer than letting him do it.” I pointed my thumb at Emmory.

“Same old Hail, making threats you can’t back up.”

“I think I’d surprise you, Ab.”

“You don’t need to worry about your man, Taz is watching him. The only reason they’d kill him is if I don’t come back.”

“Come have a seat.” I headed over to the fireplace and settled into my chair.

“Even your mother can’t match your sheer arrogance. Sending your BodyGuards waltzing into my headquarters, asking me to come see you like we’re old friends? You’re lucky no one got killed.” He shook his head.

“You mean we’re not friends? I was kind of hoping we were, Ab. I’ve been hearing that some radical offshoot of your group is up to their necks in murder, or am I wrong and you’re the one responsible for killing my sisters?”

Ab froze halfway into his seat. The look of abject grief that flashed across his face was quickly eaten by fury as he let gravity take over and drop him the rest of the way down. It told me more clearly than his next words that the answer to my question was no.

“You always were a coldhearted bitch, Hail. Never cried a tear over your father’s death. I should kill you for even asking me that question. You know what Cire meant to me.”

Emmory snarled and I gave a tiny shake of my head. “That’s deserved, but I’d watch your tongue from here on out, Ab.”

He ignored the warning. “No, I didn’t kill your sisters. Neither did I order them killed, and I promise you no one in my organization was responsible for their deaths. Christoph thought I was selling out by agreeing to work with Cire. He split off from the group, and took a bunch of idiots who were more interested in blowing things up than actually making life better for the people of Indrana. I don’t know if he was responsible, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Happy?”

“No. It doesn’t bring them back, but I’m satisfied you’re telling me the truth.” I crossed my legs and folded my hands over my knee.

“Well, I’m relieved. Your good opinion has always meant so much to me. You could give two spits about this empire, Hail. You said as much before you ran away. Why are you back pretending like you give a damn?”

Surging forward, I grabbed Ab by the throat before he or Emmory could react and jerked him out of his chair so he was on his knees in front of me.

“Does this feel like me pretending?” I hissed in his ear, tightening my grip until he choked. “This empire is my business, and I left for a reason. My family is my business, no matter how many gods-damned years have gone by and how far away I was. They may have had to drag me back but I’m here now and gods help you all. I get that you loved Cire, but she was my blood. You question me on how much I loved her again and I will kill you and burn the Upjas to the ground. Is that clear?”

He nodded once and I shoved him back into his chair. Seething rage rolled around in my gut, begging for blood, and I fought to get it under control while Ab struggled to catch his breath.

I managed to drag in a breath of my own, ironically feeling just as desperate for air as Ab probably was. When I didn’t feel like my heart was going to explode in my chest, I spoke again.

“What about me? I saw Taz in the crowd just before someone took a potshot at me, and a servant claiming to work for you tried to shank me my first day back.”

“What happened to you, Hail?” Ab whispered, rubbing at his throat.

“I left home. I grew up. You don’t want to know the details. Trust me. Now answer my question.”

“We didn’t,” Ab said, still rubbing at his throat as he got back to his feet and sat down again. “I told Taz to stay away from you. He listens as well as you always did.”

“You’ll have to tell him I said hi. Someone poisoned Mother with AVI.”

“Excuse me?”

“And that answers that question,” I murmured, shooting Ab a sad smile. “She’s got flutters. Probably has had them for a while. Dr. Ganjen has her on some experimental drug and it’s made her more lucid, but she doesn’t have much longer.”

His sharp inhale jabbed at the wall I’d constructed to keep all the pain inside, and it shook a little. I looked at my hands, struggling to steady the wall before it all came crumbling down. I’d always liked Abraham. He’d treated me like a bratty little sister rather than a princess.

“I’m sorry, Hail. So sorry.”

That simple apology meant the world. I mustered up a smile and met his eyes. “We don’t know when it started, but it’s likely that whoever is responsible somehow got to her first. Cire sent Emmory to find me, Ab. I think she knew something was wrong before Pace died. I didn’t want to come back, even after I found out what had happened.”

“But you did.”

“Emmory didn’t give me much choice.” I laughed and the edges of it caught in my throat on the way out, ripping me open. “We’ll probably have to thank him properly when this is all over for saving the empire.

“I’m going to be empress,” I continued after a deep breath, and looked up at Ab. “I’m sure you heard Mother has already abdicated. The matriarchs—most of them anyway—have agreed to my ascension to the throne. The official coronation will be the day after tomorrow. We’ll release the news about the AVI after that, so if you’d keep it to yourself until then, I’d appreciate it.”

Ab nodded. “I can do that. What else do you want from me?”

Initially, all I’d wanted was to confirm that Ab hadn’t killed my family and that he wasn’t trying to kill me. But now that I was staring him in the face, it occurred to me that maybe we had a chance to achieve the things Cire had wanted for our people.

“I want you to come see me again—officially—after my coronation. I’ll offer pardons for the Upjas where I can and we’ll start working on building the future.”

Ab studied me for a long moment before he finally nodded. “Deal, Your Highness.”

I stood, offering him my hand, and he took it with an amused smile.

“I think I underestimated you.”

“Most people do. Thank you, Ab, for everything.”

He nodded once more and squeezed my hand. Then he followed Emmory back to my closet and ducked into the tunnel.

“Get some rest, Highness. Zin and I will come back into the palace via another route. You don’t need to wait for us.”

Normally it would be amusing how easily my Ekam could dismiss me, but right now it just raked over my raw and bleeding heart like salt-coated fingers. His face was emotionless. His eyes were as icy as the frost-laced windows.

All I could do was drop my chin in acknowledgment and then close the hatch behind him. Sliding down the wall, I buried my face in my knees and wept.

I’d betrayed his trust by sending Zin deliberately into danger. This hadn’t been about protecting me, not really, though I could make some argument to that end. It’d been about information gathering and gaining allies and I’d used my BodyGuards like pawns.

If it had been just Emmory, I had a feeling he wouldn’t have cared. But I put Zin in danger, and I wasn’t sure Emmory would ever forgive me for that.