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BY THE TIME JOSH WALKED all the way down the aisle to take his place beside Brad, Charlie was feeling faint. Probably because she’d been holding her breath. But he didn’t even look at her. Not once. It gave her plenty of time to look him over, though. He looked amazing, of course, and he hadn’t let himself go at all. With the greenest eyes she’d ever seen and thick blond hair against tanned skin, combined with a hard body that stretched against his shirt, she couldn’t help staring at him.
Why had she turned him down? It was hard to remember when her heart was pounding in her ears. Oh, that’s right. He’s a player. And when he said he loved me, he hardly knew me. He couldn’t possibly have had real feelings for me. It was only a physical attraction. And physical attraction wasn’t enough to build a life-long relationship. But she had to admit one thing... The physical attraction was still there. At least it was still there for her, but evidently not for him.
“Glad you finally decided to show up,” teased Brad.
“I came late on purpose—I didn’t want Grace to see how ugly you were compared to me and change her mind.” Josh winked at her and whispered, “It’s not too late. I’m still available.”
Grace laughed as Brad elbowed his friend in the ribs. “No, I’m happy with my choice.” She stood on her toes to give Brad a kiss.
“Hey. That part doesn’t come until the end of the ceremony,” Olivia objected.
“And I don’t want to see my sister kissing a guy. Not ever.” Spencer gave a wry grin.
“You do realize we’re getting married? Right?” asked Brad.
“Yes, but I don’t have to think about it. She’s my sister.”
When the pastor finally regained control of the proceedings, they quickly finished the rehearsal and headed downtown for the rehearsal dinner. Charlie managed to avoid coming face-to-face with Josh the entire evening, although one time she thought she sensed his gaze. Soon the boys left together for a “wild” bachelor’s party, which was supposed to include video games, but no alcohol, since both Brad and Josh were on call at the hospital.
The bridesmaids had a slumber party without a lot of slumber. Charlie and Emily’s mom, Anne, had arranged for someone to come to their house to give all the girls manicures and pedicures. Then they watched episodes of Gilmore Girls and ate junk food and practiced line dancing until they finally succumbed to exhaustion. Charlie’s aching heart was much revived by the night of fun and companionship.
The wedding was a whirlwind of music and pictures and laughter. Grace kept gazing into Brad’s eyes, forgetting to listen to the preacher and having to be prodded to speak when it was her turn. Charlie tried to focus on the bride and groom, but from where she was standing, her best view was of Josh’s face. One time she glanced his direction and caught him staring, but he quickly averted his eyes. They hadn’t spoken to each other, but she knew it needed to happen. It was her responsibility. After all, she was the one who’d rejected him, even though she knew he’d only been infatuated with her. When he claimed to love her, he barely knew her.
She wanted to put off the confrontation with Josh as long as possible, especially since he wasn’t paying her the slightest amount of attention. She knew they weren’t right for each other in her head, but physically, she couldn’t help responding to him. He was ridiculously perfect, and some part of her evidently wished he were still attracted to her.
At the reception, Charlie was seated next to Emily and Spencer, with Josh at another table, between Olivia and Brad. Charlie couldn’t stop her gaze from wandering to his table. He was laughing and joking as usual, completely oblivious to her presence. That was what she’d expected, wasn’t it? He appeared to have moved on, except he didn’t bring a date to the wedding. That probably just meant he was still dating around.
“... Right, Charlie?” said Emily.
“Right.” She snapped her eyes back to her sister, wondering what on earth she’d just agreed to.
One corner of Emily’s mouth quirked up. “So you agree with me?”
“Uhmm... yes, of course.”
“So good to know you’re volunteering to stay in and watch the twins while the rest of us go skiing.”
“No way, I didn’t agree to that!”
“I wonder what on earth could be so interesting at the table over there. Could it be Brad? Or Olivia? Or is it possible that J—”
“Shut up, Emily.” She spoke between clenched teeth, feeling the blood rushing to her face.
“I thought you said you were definitely not interested?”
“I did and I’m not. I was just... I was just looking at Olivia’s hairdo. It’s really cute.”
Emily winked as she craned her neck to check out Olivia’s hair. “I agree—it’s cute. But you can’t lie to me.” She bit her lips, before continuing in a soft voice. “You know, Charlie, you could swallow your pride and go talk to him. Y’all are going to run into each other all the time. We’re all friends.”
“I’m not in love with Josh.” Charlie pouted her lips. “I told you I’m not at all interested.”
Emily’s eyes were wide. “Wow—you just made a huge leap. I was only explaining why you need to be able to get along as friends. I didn’t say anything about love.” She tilted her head. “Are you in love with him? Really?”
“No, of course not.” Charlie could feel her heart pounding against her chest wall.
“Then it shouldn’t be difficult for you to walk over there and talk to him. We’ll all feel more comfortable if y’all aren’t awkward around each other.” Emily gave her a smug grin and nodded her head toward Josh.
“No problem.” Charlie took a deep breath as she rose from her chair and marched toward his table with her arms crossed tight to hide her trembling hands. Alone at the table, Josh and Olivia were absorbed in conversation.
“Hey.” Charlie spoke with an awkward wave. She tucked her hand back into her folded arms and glued a smile in place.
Startled from their deep concentration, the pair jumped at the sound of her voice. Josh lifted an icy gaze toward her, and Charlie’s blood turned cold. With the onslaught of his frigid regard, she fought to keep herself from bolting.
“Hello Charlie,” he spoke through tight lips.
Her breath caught in her chest as the shock of his vehemence hit her. Not only was he totally over her—he hated her. She blinked rapidly to cover the tears that sprang to her eyes, jerking her face away. “Oh, I see someone I need to catch.” She pivoted toward the safety and privacy of the ladies’ room.
“Wait, Charlie!” called Olivia.
“Back in a minute,” she threw over her shoulder. Once inside the bathroom, the floodgates opened. Apparently, Josh detested her now, and she had no one to blame but herself. She was the one who’d refused his repeated overtures, not even allowing continued communication. But she hadn’t realized she’d wounded him enough to cause this level of animosity. Nonetheless, she deserved it. She needed to swallow her pride and make things right with Josh so her family and friends wouldn’t feel awkward when they were together. She worked to get her emotions in check—she couldn’t make a scene and ruin Grace’s wedding reception.
*
JOSH GROANED. HE’D hurt her feelings. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh, but he was having such a hard time hiding his feelings. He couldn’t let anyone know he still loved her, especially not now.
“Okay Josh,” said Olivia, “What’s going on? What’s this important secret you have to talk to me about right now? And why did you just scare Charlie away?”
“Look Olivia. We get along well, don’t we? I mean, you’re a great nurse, and I try to treat you with respect, don’t I?”
“Sure, Dr. Branson.” He flinched at the sarcastic emphasis of her salutation. “But so what?”
“I need a wife, and I thought you might be willing to marry me.” When her mouth dropped open and her face turned white, he hurried to explain. “Just for a year, probably. And we could get an annulment—”
“Are you out of your mind? What are you talking about?”
“Shhhh! Please keep your voice down. You promised you’d keep this between us.”
“That was before I knew you were insane,” she hissed between her teeth.
“There’s a logical explanation.” He sighed and looked skyward, searching for words.
She leaned against the back of her chair with crossed arms. “I can’t wait to hear this.”
“Did Grace tell you about my sister?”
Her expression softened. “The one who died in the car accident? I’m so sorry about that.”
“Thank you... I didn’t really know her, though. I only managed to locate her about a year ago.”
“You didn’t know each other?”
He tried to keep the bitter note out of his voice. “I knew about her. My grandmother raised us until she passed away. I was nine and my sister was three. There were no relatives to take care of us, so we went into the foster system.” He studied his fingers. “My sister got adopted, but nobody wanted a rebellious nine-year-old boy. So I stayed in foster homes, and she had parents that moved her across the country.”
“I’m sorry.” She placed her hand on his arm. “And you only reconnected a year ago?”
He shrugged. “It was too late to change the past, although I wish I’d done things differently now. I resented her. I was jealous and hurt no one wanted me. I’m not proud of it, but I didn’t even try to find her until last year. It wasn’t that hard to do.”
“Okay, I get it. But what does this have to do with anything?”
“When my sister and her husband died, they had two kids. I’ve been looking into the option of adopting them. I was told his parents were going to raise the kids, which might’ve been great. But today I found out they only want to take the little girl, who’s two. The boy wasn’t their son’s kid. My sister had him when she was seventeen. That’s when her adoptive parents disowned her.”
“So what would happen to the boy?”
“He’s nine, just like I was. So nobody would take him.”
“So you want to get married so you can adopt him?”
“No, I could adopt him without being married. I want to adopt both of them. I want him to grow up with his sister. And my lawyer told me there’s no way I’d win custody of the little girl over the grandparents if I’m not married.”
“Have you even met these kids?”
He shrugged. “Twice. Once when I met my sister, and once at the funeral. But when I make a commitment, I give everything. Trust me, I’ll love them with my whole heart.” He leaned forward and took her hand between his. “You wouldn’t have to do anything. I’ll do all the parenting. You’d have your own bedroom. And in exchange for doing this for me, I’ll pay your way to medical school.”
“Josh, you don’t know what you’re saying. That’s a lot of money.” She frowned and pulled her hand away. “And why don’t you marry someone else? I know of at least five nurses and two doctors who’d marry you tomorrow if you asked them.”
“But I’m not interested in anyone else.”
“So what? You’re not interested in me, either.”
“But we’re good friends. I think we could get along well as roommates. And you wouldn’t be trying to turn it into something real.”
Olivia shook her head. “Okay, Josh. There’s a big elephant in the room we haven’t talked about.” She chuckled. “Actually, I think she’s in the bathroom. What about Charlie?”
“What about her? We haven’t even communicated in two years. It’s not like I’m still in love with her. I probably never was in love with her. If you ask her, she’ll tell you the same thing. She told me in no uncertain terms I wasn’t in love with her.”
Olivia didn’t try to hide her skepticism. “Have you considered since she’s moved to New York, you two might get back together? Why couldn’t you marry Charlie instead of me?”
“Do you honestly think after two years of shutting me out of her life completely, she’d agree to marry me by the first of February?”
“No, probably not.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “Josh, I still don’t think I can do this. And there’s a guy I kind of like.”
He groaned. “Fine. You were my best hope, but I’m going to marry someone by February. Which one of those nurses would you recommend?”
“Josh, that wasn’t a serious suggestion. You can’t really marry someone you don’t even know. And I hate to tell you, but this proposal you’re making isn’t very flattering. I mean, I love you like a brother, so it would be creepy if you acted romantically interested. But if you presented an offer like this to any other woman, she’d probably be offended.”
He dropped his head into his hands and spoke in a muffled voice. “Why do women have to be so difficult? It’s simply a business proposition. How can it be offensive?”
“Josh, I don’t know how you managed to be with so many girls without learning anything about them.”
“I didn’t need to learn anything about them. They just threw themselves at me... Until I met Charlie.”
“So you’re still in love with her?”
“Absolutely not.” He used his strongest, resolved tone. “I don’t feel anything for her anymore.”
“And that’s why you looked at her like you wanted to stab her with a knife?”
“I did not.”
“I’m pretty sure you made her cry.”
He whispered an expletive. “I hardly even spoke to her. I didn’t mean to hurt her.” Why does everything with Charlie have to be so complicated? “Look Olivia. Don’t say no. Just give it some thought. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get custody of my niece and nephew. It could be good for both of us. And no one would have to know.”
“There’s no way we could fool my sisters.”
“Why not? Why wouldn’t they believe we’d fallen for each other? Let’s make a deal. Just try it for a few weeks. You and I will pretend to be in love. If your sisters buy it, then you agree to marry me.”
“Josh, I don’t know.”
“Remember, you promised not to tell anyone.” He leaned close to her and whispered, “Come here. I need to tell you something.”
“What?” She eyed him with obvious suspicion.
A deft turn of his head brought his lips to hers, as he slipped his hand behind her neck to prevent her retreat. When he broke the kiss, he spoke in her ear. “Don’t make a face. It wasn’t that bad. Was it?”
Leaning back, he cringed at the sight of Olivia’s reddened face and livid expression. Her whole body was shaking. “I want to slap you so badly. I did not agree to that. And yes, it felt like kissing Spencer.”
“Don’t tell me you love me like a brother. I’d rather you say, ‘The thought of touching you disgusts me!’” He chuckled.
“Fine—the thought of touching you disgusts me.” She squeezed the words between gritted teeth. “And how am I going to explain this to my sisters and Emily and Charlie?”
“Just tell them we’re madly in love and we’re getting married.” He grinned at her fury.
Emily almost spit out a mouthful of punch. “Ohmygosh!” She pulled on Spencer’s arm. “Did you see that? Josh just kissed Olivia.”
“What? There’s no way!” Spencer turned to frown at Olivia and Josh, whose heads were close in conversation.
“No, I saw it happen, although she doesn’t look too happy about it. Maybe they’ve been secretly dating, and she didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Well, Josh isn’t going to date my sister behind my back.” Spencer rose with a loud screech of his chair against the floor.
“Wait Spencer, don’t make a scene.” She grabbed his arm.
“I’m not making a scene—Josh made the scene. I’m just clearing the air.” Ripping his arm free, he advanced to their table and gripped Josh’s shoulder.
*
JOSH ATTEMPTED TO MAINTAIN his composure in spite of Spencer’s vice-like hold.
“Hey, Josh,” Spencer spoke with his nostrils flaring. “You want to tell me what’s going on here with my sister?”
“Nothing,” said Olivia.
Josh winced at his friend’s obvious irritation, but he knew he had to play out his scheme.
“So the two of you were just sitting here doing nothing when you suddenly decided to kiss?”
“He... he was...” Olivia stuttered.
“I’m in love with your sister. And I’m trying to convince her to marry me.”
Spencer stood in shock, his mouth agape, while Olivia glared at Josh, her brown eyes almost black. “And I’m trying to convince him this is the stupidest idea that’s ever come into his brain, and it will never work.”
“You’re in love with Olivia? What about Charlie? I thought you were—”
“Why does everyone keep asking about Charlie?” Josh interrupted, gesturing as wildly as his heart was beating. “I’m over her. She blew me off two years ago—I don’t care about her in the slightest.”
“Josh!” Olivia spoke urgently, looking over his shoulder. “Don’t say...” Her voice died out.
He twisted around to discover Charlie standing behind him.
“No, it’s okay.” She blinked at watery eyes. “He’s right to feel that way, and I know he’s over me. I’d just hoped... I mean... I thought we could still be friends.”
“Sure, Charlie. You’ve got it, baby. We’re friends.” He regretted his words almost before they left his lips. Why do I always lose control around her? His stomach lurched when he saw her recoil. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. The blood drained from her face, and she pressed her lips together. He cringed as she turned her head away and walked woodenly back to her sister’s table.
He turned back to meet Olivia’s glare, as she rose to her feet. “I’m going to talk to Grace and Brad. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Dr. Branson.”
Josh turned back to face Spencer’s stormy stare. “What?” Josh’s voice was drenched in annoyance.
“What’s really going on here, Josh?”
“Nothing. Just what I told you. I want to marry your sister.”
“Because you’re in love with her?”
“Yes.”
“And when did you discover you were in love with her?”
“Look Spencer, I’m not going to sit here and let you lecture me about love.”
Spencer’s jaw hardened. “If you hurt Olivia, you’ll answer to me. And as far as that goes, I don’t want you hurting Charlie, either.”
“How could I hurt Charlie?” Josh was unable to hide his resentment. “She made it perfectly clear she had no feelings for me for two years. I’m sorry if I don’t feel like being pals right now, but it has nothing to do with my feelings for Olivia.”
“Really? Because it seems to me you might be using Olivia to hurt Charlie.”
Josh stood up and glared eye-to-eye with Spencer. “I’m not using Olivia to hurt Charlie. I’m not that kind of man, and I take offense at the suggestion.”
Emily pushed her way between the two. “Stop it—you’re making a scene. Spencer, let’s go sit down. This is not the time or the place for this discussion.” She dragged Spencer by the arm back to their table, leaving Josh standing alone.
He scanned the room and found Olivia with Grace and Brad, laughing and joking along with her sisters. At another table, a scowling Spencer sat beside an expressionless Charlie, despite Emily’s efforts to distract them with her animated discourse. Part of him hated hurting her feelings, but another part of him felt a sense of satisfaction. At least she cared enough to be hurt. The agony of his decision rose up again—he so regretted the timing of this adoption. If he didn’t possess such a strong sense of responsibility to his niece and nephew, he would have tried again with Charlie. He certainly still had feelings for her, as much as he tried to deny it.
If there was one thing he was good at, though, it was self-discipline. He could push himself to perform despite sleepless nights and pain and emotional agony. He’d never let his own needs and weaknesses stand in the way of his goals. And right now, his desire for Charlie was a weakness he couldn’t allow.
A surreptitious glance at her caused a searing pain in his chest. He remembered exactly how her soft responsive lips had felt. They’d shared a kiss that had shattered him. He couldn’t even understand how she’d affected him so strongly with one kiss. Just a kiss. He’d been with so many girls. For him, kissing had simply become a means to an end. But everything had changed when he’d kissed Charlie—she’d ruined him for other girls.
On the other hand, he’d been alone most of his life. None of the girls he’d been with in the past actually meant anything to him anyway. It would’ve been nice to have someone to love, someone he could share his life with. But it wasn’t a necessity. His marriage to Olivia in name only wouldn’t alleviate his isolation.
“I’m alone, as usual,” he mumbled. “So what’s new?”
*
“CHARLIE!” EMILY SNAPPED her fingers in front of her sister’s face. “Are you even listening to me?”
“Huh?” She blinked. “Uhmm, yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking about next week.” With a vain attempt to hide her distress over Josh’s obvious disdain, she raised her eyebrows and pulled the corners of her mouth up in the semblance of a smile. “I’m going to help Mom with the boys so she can get a few hours in at the office. They’ve given the nanny time off until January.”
“That’ll be exhausting, I bet,” Emily chuckled. “I’m gonna laugh when my physically fit sister is moaning about how tired she is after a day with the twins.”
“I’ve missed them so much. I’m just glad I get to be with them and remind them who their favorite sister is.”
“No way. I’m definitely the favorite sister. You haven’t got a chance.”
“I can’t believe y’all are at it again,” said a voice behind them. They both turned to find their mother, Anne, with her husband, Steven.
“Mom,” whined Charlie. “Tell her that I’m Ellis’ and Micah’s favorite sister.”
“They love me more,” declared Emily. “They don’t know you as well.”
“But they’re tired of you,” Charlie goaded. “I’m knew and exciting. You’re dull and boring.”
Anne glanced at her husband with a silent plea for aid.
“Some things never change,” said Steven.
Anne put her hands on her hips. “I’m going to figure out a way to raise Ellis and Micah so they won’t always be competing with each other.”
“Good luck with that.” Charlie quipped.
“Really, Mom? With sisters like us and the two most competitive parents in the history of mankind?” Emily asked.
Steven lifted his chin in mock offense. “I beg your pardon. Are you accusing me and my sweet wife of being competitive?”
“Only if the proverbial shoe fits,” said Emily.
“I resemble that remark.” He laughed.
“Wasn’t the wedding just wonderful? I thought Grace was so beautiful! And Brad was just beaming.” Anne blinked at a few tears that sprang to her eyes. “I’m ready to start planning another one.” She waggled her eyebrows at Charlie.
“Don’t start that, Mom. I’m not falling for any of your schemes. If I ever decide to get married, I can find a guy all on my own. But I don’t need anyone competing for my time until after law school, anyway.”
“Surely you don’t believe that.” A deep furrow appeared between her mother’s brows. “If you had the right guy, you wouldn’t resent the time you spent with him. And he’d be a partner for you. He wouldn’t keep you from studying.”
“Maybe. But I don’t think I can handle the emotional turmoil right now.”
“You know, I said the same thing two years ago. But when love strikes, you can’t do anything but go with it.” Emily squeezed Spencer’s hand. “And it’s worth the emotional turmoil when you find a great guy.”
“Okay, whatever.” Charlie hated the direction of the conversation. She couldn’t imagine herself ever getting married, especially since her emotions were obviously still messed up where Josh was concerned. “Let’s change the subject, please.”
“Great,” said Anne. “Let’s talk about what kind of flowers you want for your wedding. Didn’t you just love Grace’s hydrangeas? I was thinking maybe hydrangeas and—”
“Mom!” Charlie growled out a warning.
“Maybe you can plan Olivia’s wedding,” Spencer remarked with a biting emphasis on his sister’s name.
“What?” said Anne. “Olivia’s getting married?”
“Evidently Josh was proposing earlier tonight,” he grumbled. “I didn’t even know they were dating.”
Charlie felt a lead weight fall into the pit of her stomach. Josh was in love with Olivia. No wonder he didn’t want her around. She should be happy for him. Happy for both of them. She should have expected this, but somehow it felt even worse he was going to marry one of her good friends. She wouldn’t be able to avoid seeing them together all the time.
“Are you all right?” whispered Emily, giving her arm a little squeeze. “You look a little pale. I’m so sorry...”
Charlie forced a smile onto her face. “No, I’m fine. I’m happy for them. I’m just a little shocked is all.”
Anne looked positively ecstatic. “Oh, this is so much fun—another wedding! I hope Olivia and Connie will let me in on the planning again like they did for Grace’s.”
Spencer’s face was dark. “Well, I don’t like it. I don’t think he really loves her, and I’m afraid she’s going to get hurt.”
“Why do you say that?” asked Steven. “Does this have anything to do with him making a play for Emily way back when? Are you still holding that against him?”
“No. We got past that a long time ago. I just don’t want Olivia to settle for someone who isn’t head-over-heels for her. I haven’t seen that from Josh, and I’m afraid he won’t treat her well.”
Charlie remained quiet, while everyone else weighed in on the discussion. She knew the moment her mom noticed her reaction because she suddenly lost her enthusiasm. “Well, we’ll just wait and see. This may be a passing thing. It may not happen at all. I’m sure they won’t be in any hurry.”
“Well, I hope it works out. Josh is a great guy, and I think he’ll treat her like a queen.” Charlie hoped her smile looked genuine.
“I think you’re right, Sister. Josh would make a great husband.” When Spencer was starting to object to her statement, she added with a smile, “Not as great as my husband, of course.”
Watching Emily and Spencer, so obviously in love with each other, Charlie realized, for the first time in her life, she was truly envious of something her sister had.
