| |
––––––––
GRACE PULLED GRAM ASIDE after dinner. “Gram. I’m so impressed. Your secret weapon seemed to work quite well—Josh was so jealous. Did you put Collin up to all the flirting?”
“No. Evan’s boys flirt enough without any extra prompting. But that wasn’t my secret weapon. That’s still to come.” Gram clapped her hands, demanding the attention of the room.
“And now, Gus and I have a little surprise for everyone. Since the weather cooperated and we have some nice snow on the ground, we’ve arranged for everyone to go on a sleigh ride.”
“Yay!” called Jace, above the murmurings of excitement.
“You’ll have to bundle up and take turns of course, but there are three sleighs out back awaiting your pleasure. Two small ones for two or three people, and one big one that will hold four or six, if you squeeze in tight.”
“I want to go!” Jace bounced like a basketball.
“Of course you do,” said Gram. “You can go first, with Josh and Charlie. And I bet you’d like to ride up front with the driver. Maybe he’ll let you hold the reins.”
Gram whispered to Grace, “There’s nothing more romantic than a sleigh ride.”
*
CHARLIE FOUND HERSELF bundled up on a sleigh with Josh before she knew what was happening. The driver was a teenager, and Charlie hoped he knew what he was doing. But he was chipper and happy to let Jace sit beside him and help him drive the horse. They set off across the field on the smooth snow, listening to the jingle of the bells on the horses harness.
Sitting next to him, huddled against him for warmth under the blanket, she realized this was the first time they’d ever had any semblance of a date. They really hadn’t spent much time alone together. She was painfully aware of the way his hand felt as it clasped hers, his thumb gently rubbing on her skin and sending little tingles up her spine. Or maybe she was only shivering from the cold.
“I get to mark this off my bucket list now,” remarked Charlie.
“First time, huh? It’s nice, isn’t it? I hope we get to do a lot of first things together.”
Charlie’s mind immediately flew to the wedding night. They hadn’t really talked about that aspect of the marriage. She’d told him she wanted a life-long commitment, with no divorce, so of course it meant they would eventually be man and wife in every sense of the word. But she didn’t want to be physically intimate with him until she was sure he loved her. And how on earth would she know when the time came? She stiffened and pulled away.
“I... I didn’t mean...” He bit his lip as he glanced ahead to be certain their conversation was private. “I wasn’t talking about sex, Charlie.”
She was grateful for the darkness hiding the rush of blood to her face. How had he managed to read her mind?
He blundered on. “I meant I’d like to do a lot of new stuff together. You know, mark things off the bucket list.”
“Yeah, I know. But we haven’t talked about it. You know. About the physical part.”
“Well, there’s plenty of time. Three weeks before the wedding.”
“Right, three weeks,” she squeaked out.
“Are you still okay with it? Do you want to back out?”
“No, I don’t want to back out. But maybe you do?”
“Not me,” said Josh. “Why would I want to back out?”
She hesitated. “We haven’t spent that much time together, really. I have some faults you don’t know about.”
“Really? Like what?”
“Like... I’m not really a morning person.”
“Ha! That’s an understatement. But I love mornings, so I’ll make you a nice cup of coffee and bring it to you in the morning. And you can give me some kind of sign when it’s safe to talk to you.” He tipped his chin in a perfunctory nod. “What other faults do you have?”
She laughed. “None—that was it. Let’s hear yours.”
“Okay... I tend to throw my dirty clothes at the hamper instead of into the hamper. And I’ve been known to leave the cap off the toothpaste tube.”
“Oh, no. I’m afraid that’s a deal-breaker. I’m particular about my toothpaste.”
“Separate tubes?”
“Maybe. I’ll have to think about it.”
“Seriously though, we should talk about some things,” Josh said. “Like... children. Do you want children?”
“You mean, other than Jace and Chloe?”
“Right.”
“Yeah, I do want more.”
“You do? How many?”
“I don’t know... Maybe three or four more?”
“So five or six kids?” Josh sounded surprised. “Wow. Okay. I guess I don’t object to the idea, but I’ve never imagined it.”
“I think you’ll be a good dad. You’re good with Jace. And Chloe, too.”
He bent his head and spoke into her ear, sending shivers down her neck, “And you’re a really good mom, too.” Then he moved his lips gently down to her cheek and his hand rose up to rest his fingers against her jaw and turn her face upward. Her heart began to pound as she realized it was about to happen. He was finally going to kiss her. She grasped through a fog to remember the last thing she’d eaten. Thanks goodness, it was a chocolate dinner mint. If only she’d applied some berry flavored lip balm to her chapped lips.
“Uncle Josh! Aunt Charlie! Look I’m holding the reins all by myself!”
Josh jerked his face away and dropped his hand like a guilty teenager. “That’s great, Jace.”
With her heart still racing, Charlie took a deep breath of icy air to calm herself. She could see a certain disadvantage to having kids around, but in their case, the kids were the reason they were together at all. If it weren’t for Jace and Chloe, she and Josh wouldn’t be getting married, so she could hardly resent Jace’s presence. “Are you having fun?” she asked Jace.
“It’s easy!” he called back, “And Randy says I’m the best nine-year-old sleigh driver he’s ever seen!”
“Be careful, and pay attention,” Josh warned. With Jace once again captivated by driving the horses, he lifted his hand to cup her chin toward him. “Now... where were we?” He gently caressed her forehead with his lips, trailing ever so slowly downward toward her mouth.
“Josh?” she whispered between quickening breaths.
“Hmmm?” he answered, zoning toward her lips.
“We need to talk.”
He grumbled, “Now? Couldn’t we talk later?”
“But it’s about this.”
“This?”
“Yes, this. The physical stuff. We’re getting married in three weeks, but we’re not in love yet. So we probably shouldn’t get too physical before we’re in love.”
“But surely we can kiss a little, right? That’s not too physical, is it?”
“No, I guess not. But I thought it might confuse the issue,” said Charlie
“What exactly is the issue?”
“The issue is how we’re going to know when we really love each other. I believe it can happen, if we both work at it. But you know... It might not happen to both of us at the same time. So how are we going to know?”
His sigh was heavy as he dropped his hand. “We could just tell each other.”
“No, that could make the other person feel pressured to say it if it wasn’t true.”
“Why does it matter so much?”
“Well... I don’t think we should... Even after we’re married... We shouldn’t sleep together until we’re in love.”
His face contorted like he had a splitting headache. “We’ve got three weeks. Don’t you think we can be in love by then? I don’t want to waste a honeymoon.”
“Josh, you can’t make yourself love someone. These things take time... months... years even.”
“Years?” his voice squeaked. “Charlie, I don’t think I can wait years to make love to you.”
“It won’t be making love unless we’re both in love.”
“Charlie... I love you already.”
“Right.” She laughed. “Of course you do, since sex is on the line.”
“No really, I do.”
“Forget it, Josh. I’m not buying it. You were in love with Olivia two weeks ago. You’re not in love with me now.”
“Charlie,” he ground out. “I’ve discovered another of your faults.”
“Oh really? What?”
“You talk too much.”
He crushed his mouth against hers, devouring her with his lips. His hand slipped behind her head and tangled in her hair as he pulled her head toward his. Her right hand rose up to settle on his chest, and she could feel his heart pounding even through his sweater. The crisp cool air and the light earthy smell of his cologne wafted in through her nose as she gasped for air. His mouth moved around, feathering small light kisses around her lips before he slanted his lips across hers, forcefully. Her lips parted as his tongue teased across and moved inside to dance with hers. A warm buzzing sensation vibrated from her neck all the way down to her toes. She was squirming in the seat, unable to sit still under the assault to her senses.
When he moaned, she heard it and felt it in her mouth, which was now on fire with sensations. She moved her lips against his, answering his attack with her own, deepening their kiss. He pulled her lower lip into his mouth and stroked it with his tongue, eliciting a whimper from her throat. She tried to pull herself closer to him, unconsciously reaching with her left arm.
“Ahhh!” she cried.
“What’s wrong?” He pulled away like he’d been burned.
“Aunt Charlie? Are you okay? What happened?” Jace craned to look behind him.
“I’m fine, Jace. I kind of forgot my arm was hurt. But I’m okay.”
“Sorry, baby,” Josh whispered.
“You don’t look sorry.”
“I’m only sorry you got hurt. I’m definitely not sorry I kissed you,” he murmured into her ear, opening his coat and pulling her inside to lean back against his chest. And there she stayed for the rest of the sleigh ride, cozy and comfortable, snuggled inside Josh’s coat under the blanket, soaking in his heat, and wondering how on earth she would know when Josh really loved her. She’d been wrong about the physical attraction—it was obviously still there. But she already knew Josh had slept with women he didn’t love in his past, so physical attraction couldn’t be the gauge of love for their relationship.
As the sleigh rounded back to the house and its next awaiting passengers, Josh leaned in close and spoke, his voice so soft she had to strain her ears to hear. “I really do love you, Charlie.”
Charlie twisted her head to look into his eyes. “I know you think you do, Josh. But you don’t.”
His brows scrunched over his eyes. “What do you mean?”
Brad’s voice, calling from below, interrupted before she could answer. “Hey, lovebirds! It’s our turn!”
“Can I drive again?” asked Jace.
When Randy didn’t object, Josh said, “Sure. I think Brad and Grace need a chaperone, too.”
“What’s a chaperone?” asked Jace.
“A special guard who makes sure nothing happens,” Josh said, with a wry smile. “You’re really good at it.”
Jace replied, “Cool!”
Josh didn’t get another chance to talk to Charlie alone, during the entire marshmallow-roasting-s’mores-making time following the sleigh-riding time. Frustrated didn’t even begin to describe how he felt.
“So Josh,” Collin jibed. “Why isn’t your fiancée wearing a ring, anyway? Are you ashamed to claim her? Or is she ashamed to claim you?”
“I’ve been too busy making sure she was still alive to take care of those other details.”
“Hmmm, she looks alive and well to me.” Collin made a point of giving Charlie the once-over. “I don’t think that’s the problem at all. No indeed. I overheard a rather interesting tidbit a minute ago... Something about you not being able to choose between Charlie and Olivia.”
“That’s not true. Who said that?”
“Never you mind. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble with you. I hear you have a terrible temper.”
“I could give you a demonstration if you’d like.”
“Don’t get your dander up. After all, I haven’t done anything. I’m only reporting what I heard. Am I to blame if your friends and family are telling tales?”
“Yes, because my friends and family would never say that. So I think you’re telling the tales.”
“No, no, no. It didn’t come from me—I could never make up something that good. And you know if Charlie hears you’re having a hard time making up your mind, she might decide she doesn’t even want the ring when you finally get her one.”
“I’m not having a hard time making up my mind. I’m marrying Charlie.”
“But I heard you were engaged to Olivia before the accident. Is it true?”
“No, we were never actually engaged.”
“But you bought her a ring?”
“Yes, but she didn’t take it, so...”
“So you proposed to Olivia, but she turned you down? And now you’re trying to marry Charlie?”
“No, it’s not like that at all.”
“Okay. You tell me what happened.”
“I... We... It’s none of your business.”
Collin’s laughter trailed behind him as he left him alone to fume.
*
“EVERYTHING SEEMS TO be going well,” Olivia remarked to Emily. “Surely after this, Charlie will realize Josh is head over heels in love with her.”
“I hope so.” Emily had her doubts.
“Did you send Brad suggestions for the engagement ring?”
“Yes, but I’m actually having to guess. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her gush over a single engagement ring. She’s really particular. There’s always something about every setting that’s not quite right.”
“Maybe he needs to take her shopping for her own ring,” suggested Olivia.
“You could be right,” said Emily. “She hardly wears any jewelry, so it’s hard to guess her taste.”
“I love the necklace she’s wearing,” said Olivia.
“I know. Can you believe it? Josh picked it out for her all by himself.”
“Really? Maybe there’s hope for him after all.”
*
STEVEN SPOKE PRIVATELY to Josh. “Okay, Josh. I gave you my blessing, but you know I still have reservations. I’ve got to know you’re putting the health of your marriage ahead of the adoption. I’m still concerned you’re rushing into this marriage before you have your relationship straightened out.”
“No. Everything’s under control.” Josh felt guilty for the lie, but he intended to make his statement true before the wedding.
“I’m sorry about Collin. His father’s been a constant thorn in my side since we were children.”
“Yeah. I saw him flirting with Anne, earlier.”
“Nothing slows him down. Not even marriage and twins.”
“I’m surprised you tolerate him as well as you do.”
“Only because of Gram,” Gherring muttered. “Otherwise, I might have killed him on several occasions. But he’s careful never to be far away from her protection.”
“His sons seem to be exactly like him.”
“I agree. Those rotten apples haven’t fallen far from his tree.” Steven cast a disparaging look toward David and Collin who were busy regaling Grace’s sisters with stories about their escapades in Europe. “And I have more bad news. I’m afraid my cousins will be attending our New Year’s Eve celebration, as well.”
“Are you kidding me? I thought they said something about having a party or tickets or something.”
“As it turns out, they only knew they had an invitation to a private party. They didn’t realize the party Gram mentioned was the Gherring Inc. New Year’s Eve Bash.”
“I can tell you one thing for sure. Charlie’s going to have a ring on her finger before we go to that party.”
“Probably a wise move.”
*
“ARE YOU FEELING OKAY,” Anne asked Charlie. “I don’t want you to overdo it and tear something.”
“No, Mom. I’m fine. With two doctors and two nurses watching my every move, I could hardly get away with overdoing it.”
“Okay. Just checking. You look kind of flushed.”
“Did Ellis and Micah like the sleigh ride?”
“Yes, except they cried when it was over, even though we took them twice and their faces were bright red from the cold. And Micah got mad because we wouldn’t let him ride on the horse.”
“There you are, Charlie,” said Gram as she joined them. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about the wedding.”
“You know we’re planning a really small, informal ceremony. Probably not many more people than are here right now.”
“Yes, I know what you said, but Gus and I would like to have it here, and throw a slightly bigger bash. It’ll be a wedding present.”
Charlie’s skepticism must have shown on her face because Gram said, “You won’t have to do anything to prepare, you won’t have to lift a finger. I’ll take care of everything.”
“I don’t know, Gram. I wasn’t even planning to buy a wedding dress or anything.”
Gram’s eyebrows lifted. “And why not?”
Charlie hesitated. Should she tell the truth? That she felt uncomfortable having a real wedding when they weren’t going to have a real marriage? That she couldn’t imagine walking down the aisle in a long white gown when her groom wasn’t in love with her?
“Honestly, Gram. There’s not enough time. But I’ll find something pretty to wear. And if there’s only about twenty people here, it really won’t matter anyway.”
“Exactly what I suspected,” said Gram. “So are you honestly going to tell me you never dreamed of your wedding day and imagined yourself in a beautiful white wedding gown?”
“Of course I did, Gram. But I was a little girl. Now I know those things aren’t important.”
“Emily and I both offered our dresses,” said Anne. “She turned us down.”
“Charlie. I’d like to say I hate to be pushy. But it isn’t true. I’m pushy, and I like it that way. I’ve already made arrangements for you to meet with the dressmaker who designed your mother’s dress.”
“But there’s only three weeks,” Charlie objected.
“She made your mother’s dress in less than a week,” said Gram. “And you’ll thank me someday when you look back at your pictures.”
“I’m grateful, Gram,” said Charlie. “But I wanted things to be small and simple.”
“Small and simple,” Gram said, nodding her head. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Would you prefer a harpist or a string quartet?”
“I wasn’t planning to have music,” said Charlie.
“Okay, fine,” said Gram. “I’ll plan the music for you. Did you have a preference about the dinner menu?”
“Dinner menu?”
“We could do finger foods if you prefer, rather than a sit-down dinner.”
“Yes, please. I don’t want a sit-down dinner. Couldn’t we just have punch and cake?”
“Ah, the cake—I’m glad you reminded me. Have you picked out a cake already?”
“No Gram. I—”
“Good, because I saw one in the December edition of Modern Bride magazine. It was absolutely spectacular.”
“You were looking at a bridal magazine?” asked Charlie.
“I have several subscriptions. It pays to be prepared.”
“Mom, can’t you do something?”
“I’m sorry, Charlotte. She’s a force of nature.”
*
COLLIN WAVED CHARLIE over to the group that included David and the three youngest Marshall sisters. She wandered reluctantly that direction.
“Come on, Charlie. Give us your opinion,” said Collin. “Who do you think is the hottest male actor right now? We have two votes for Barry McClain and two for Forest Derringer. But I maintain Caspian Neveau edges both of them out.”
Charlie stuck out her tongue. “Yuck! None of the above. Those boys are all too pretty. I could never be interested in a guy who couldn’t beat me in a rock-climbing contest.”
“I take it Josh fits that description,” said Collin.
“He’s one of very few who have that distinction.”
“If that’s all it takes, I’d certainly like the opportunity to best you.”
“You’re a rock-climber?” Charlie asked, cocking her head sideways to inspect his form. He did have a broad back, and he might be hiding some muscles under his sweater
“I’ve done a bit of climbing.”
“Outdoors or in a gym?”
“Both,” he declared, with a firm nod.
“Well unfortunately, I can’t climb for quite a while until I’m healed up. So I guess we’ll never know whether you could have beaten me or not.”
“I think it’s only fair you postpone this wedding until after we have a chance to compete. You could be marrying the wrong man.”
“I don’t think so. I’m happy with my choice.”
“But he might change his mind again,” Collin said. “I understand he was hot for Olivia before he settled on you.”
“That’s not what happened,” Olivia protested. “He was in love with Charlie from the beginning, but he didn’t think he had a chance with her.”
“Personally, I don’t think he’s worthy of either of you lovely ladies. But that doesn’t excuse his indecisiveness. How can you marry someone that fickle? He might change his mind at any moment. It could be the shortest marriage in history.”
Charlie schooled her face to hide her emotional turmoil. She couldn’t let Collin know how close he was to treading on her insecurities. “Josh isn’t that kind of man. But something tells me a girl might expect that from you.”
“Never.” Collin’s grin was broad. “Because no woman will ever get me to the alter of sacrifice.”
“Like I said, I’m happy with my choice.”
“Did I say no woman? I meant no woman but you. Only for you, Charlie, would I give up my wandering ways.”
“Pardon me if I don’t buy your sincerity.”
“Fine then—marry the guy. And when he shows his indecisive streak and leaves you at home alone, give me a call.” With his words, Collin slipped a business card into her hand.
Charlie, still stunned at his blatant offer, dropped the card on the floor as if it were coated in acid. Collin chuckled as he picked it up and slipped it into her arm sling when she looked away.
*
JOSH SEETHED, WATCHING Collin flirting with Charlie from the corner of his eye.
“Josh, are you listening to me?” Gram demanded.
“I’m sorry.” Josh forced his attention back to the tiny white-haired woman. “I was distracted.”
“Because Collin is pursuing Charlie?”
“Uhmm... well, yes...”
“And do you think Collin has any chance of winning this competition?”
“No. I mean... I don’t think so. But I don’t know what he’s saying...”
“The best defense is a good offense. Isn’t that what they say?”
“Yes, but...”
“Where are your weaknesses, Josh? Time to shore ‘em up. Close the lines. Batten up the hatches. Go in with guns blazing.”
“What are you talking about, Gram?”
“Are all men so clueless?” She put her fingers in her mouth and let out a wolf whistle. “Excuse me.” Her voice was prim and proper. “I would appreciate it if Charlie would join me for a moment.”
Charlie moved toward Gram and Josh, eyeing them with caution, as everyone returned to their conversations, chuckling at Gram’s antics.
“Yes, ma’am? You wanted me?”
“Yes, dear. I wanted to show both of you something over here by the fireplace.”
Josh followed behind them, trying to ascertain Gram’s motives. “Here we are. Now what do you see?” asked Gram.
“The stockings?” guessed Charlie.
“Look higher,” Gram suggested. “Much higher.”
Josh grinned. “I see it... mistletoe!” Two rosy patches appeared on Charlie’s cheeks. “We can’t disappoint, Gram,” he said.
“I love it when a plan comes together,” Gram murmured as she departed.
Charlie stood trembling like a skittish doe. Trying not to spook her with a sudden movement, he cupped her face gently between his hands. He could feel her pulse throbbing a wild rock-beat in her neck.
Her eyes were wide, but she didn’t resist as he slowly moved his lips toward hers. He saw when her eyes closed in anticipation and felt her hand slide up against his chest. He pressed his lips against hers with the slightest pressure and slid across in a gentle caress. He tickled her mouth tenderly with his tongue until her lips parted. And he pulled away, teasing, showering small kisses across her face to her ear. Then he whispered, “I love you, Charlie.”
When Charlie tried to pull back, he dropped his hands to her shoulders and held her still. “Wait! You believe me, don’t you?”
“Josh... I know you think you love me. But...”
“Charlie. I’ve changed. I’m not the kind of guy I was when you met me. I promise, I’ll never stray.”
“I know, Josh. If I really thought you’d cheat on me, I would never agree to marry you.”
“Then what is it? Why won’t you believe me?”
“It’s... I know you had feelings for Olivia, or you never would have asked her to marry you. Maybe you didn’t really love her. I’m not even sure you know what love is.”
“That’s not fair. Why do you think you can judge my feelings?”
“I don’t mean it that way. I’m only saying whatever you felt for Olivia, you can’t already feel for me in less than two weeks. Can you?”
“Yes, I can. Because I already loved you, Charlie. I just pretended with Olivia.”
“You were going to marry her without caring about her at all?”
“But she knew...”
“You told me you loved her.”
“I did... I do... I love her like a sister. But it’s different with you. It’s always been different with you, Charlie. Don’t you understand?”
“No, I don’t. It seems like you said what you needed to get Olivia to marry you. And now that’s what you’re doing with me.”
“But I didn’t even ask you. You offered all on your own. Was I supposed to turn you down?”
“Yes, I mean... I don’t know. This is too much right now—I need to think.”
“But...”
“I’ve got to think!” Charlie fled up the grand staircase.
*
JOSH JERKED WHEN BRAD gripped his shoulder. “Hey, buddy. What happened? Charlie seemed upset.”
“I don’t know exactly. I was trying to convince her I was really in love with her. But I think she’s upset I wasn’t in love with Olivia. Is that possible?”
Brad shook his head. “Anything’s possible. She’s a woman. Their minds don’t work like ours.” He looked around. “Where did she go?”
“She said she needed to think.”
“Oh no—don’t let her do that. You’ve got to talk to her.”
“But talking was what started this whole mess.”
“Yes, I know. Talking is bad—I hate it too. But trust me... You don’t ever want to let a woman think too long. Talking is awful, but thinking is worse. Especially, if they’re crying at the same time. Was she crying?”
“I think she was.”
“Go stop her! Hurry!”
*
CHARLIE HUDDLED IN the safety of the reading nook, letting tears flow down and wet the cushions where she was lying, curled up on her good arm. She was so confused by her feelings. Josh had said he loved her, and she wanted to believe him. But he also admitted to pretending feelings for Olivia simply to secure her marriage to him. How could she know he wasn’t doing the same thing with her?
She tried to reason things out in her emotionally charged mind, but nothing seemed to make any sense. She decided to let herself cry for a while until her emotions evened out. Maybe then she could think rationally. But just as she gave herself permission to sob out her fears, she heard Josh’s voice.
“Charlie? Baby, don’t cry. Okay? We need to talk. This is not as bad as you think it is.” He crawled into the nook and lay down on his side behind her, spooning against her back with his head propped on one hand and gently smoothing her hair back off her face with the other.
“Look, I’m confused, too,” he soothed. “But we don’t have to totally understand our emotions for everything to be okay. We only have to care about each other and the kids and commit to make the marriage work. Whatever it takes. Isn’t that what you said in the hospital? We could grow to love each other if we’re committed to it?”
“I guess s-so,” she sniffed. “But now, I’m n-not sure.”
“No, you were right. We just have to be committed. I’m committed. I’m totally committed. Are you?”
“Y-yes. But...”
“Nothing else matters. We’re going to make this work. And I’m going to make sure you’re never sorry; I’ll promise to be the best father and the best husband you could ever have. You’ve got to believe me. If there’s anything I can do, it’s this. I can commit, and I can carry through on my commitment. Do you believe me?”
She nodded. “I know you can. I believe you.”
“And the love thing. We’ll figure that out. Okay? We’ll know when we both love each other, and that’s all that matters.”
“But I still don’t believe it will happen before the wedding. I feel like you’re trying to make me believe you’re in love with me just so we can have sex.”
“I’ll wait, Charlie. I’ll wait until you think it’s the right time.” She heard the tension in his voice as he added, “As long as it takes.”
“Even if it takes weeks or months?”
“Even if it takes weeks or months.”
She couldn’t help but tease. “What if it takes years?”
“Ahhhhhhh!” he gave a pitiful wail, and Charlie couldn’t stifle a giggle. They both began to chuckle, and she turned on her back to look at him, wiping away a stray tear.
“This is for good, Josh. No changing your mind or getting bored with me, because when we do have sex, you’ll probably be disappointed.”
“Charlie, I can guarantee you I won’t be disappointed.”
“You can’t know for sure.”
“I do know. Look Charlie, you were right about having sex when you’re not in love. It’s meaningless. And I need you to know something... Since I met you, I haven’t been with any other girl.”
“Really?”
“Really. It’s been so long I can’t even remember what it’s like.”
“Really?”
He bit back a grin. “No. I remember. Want me to describe it to you? I’m looking forward to introducing you to it.”
“Josh! Don’t talk about it.” She felt the blood rush to her face.
“Why not? I think about it all the time. Imagining us—”
“Stop! I don’t want to hear this.”
“All right, I’ll be good.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Are you okay? Are we okay?”
“Yes, but no more saying you’re in love with me.”
“But Charlie, when can I say it?”
“Not until it’s really true.”
He made a strangled sound. “Why did God make women so unreasonable?”
“I’m not being unreasonable. I’m being sensible.” She sprang to a sitting position and spoke in an urgent voice. “We should go. People will wonder where we are.”
“Charlie, can I kiss you one more time? Since the last one kind of ended in an argument?”
“I don’t know if that’s such a—”
He swallowed her words with his lips, gradually changing from a gentle caress to a firm demand. She was awash in a flood of swirling colors in her head. She tried to bring her mind under control, to regain her footing, to find solid ground. But the fiery sensation of his lips on hers made her float in the air, drifting and dizzy. She returned his kiss with equal fervor, and a little whimper escaped her. Then his lips left her, bereft, to trail along the line of her chin and into the hollow of her neck. She felt her bones melt as her head fell back, and she collapsed, helpless against the assault to her senses.
He pulled away, emitting a pained groan. “Charlie, let’s try for weeks instead of months. Pleeeeeeeease!”
Charlie struggled to catch her breath. “Okay. Good idea.”
Josh pumped his hand. “Yes!”
