Lost and Found in New York

Tanja Neise

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Translated by Katharine Oden 

“Lost and Found in New York”

Written By Tanja Neise

Copyright © 2019 Tanja Neise

All rights reserved

Distributed by Babelcube, Inc.

www.babelcube.com

Translated by Katharine Oden

Cover Design © 2019 Die Bücherfee

“Babelcube Books” and “Babelcube” are trademarks of Babelcube Inc.

A feud between two New York Mafia families, a fiery couple surrounded by lies and intrigue.

For years after the death of her family, Ally went into hiding. She left everything behind and thought she’d never see her true love again.

When John, a renowned rock guitarist, finds her after years of searching and refuses to let her get away again, Ally discovers she still has feelings for him, although she fights them desperately.

But John isn’t the only one who’s been looking for her – suddenly, the past confronts them both...

“A hard shell and an even harder interior. How had he been dumb enough to believe that his life could ever have a happy ending?”

A book for anyone who believes that true love conquers all.

Tanja Neise lives in a small town very near Berlin, Germany.

She attributes her start writing novels to the influence of her husband, who was convinced of her potential before she’d ever even written one word.

Since then, she’s had several books published and is regularly found on bestseller lists.

For my little sister, Bianca.

You’re still singing and dancing in my heart.

I will never forget you.

You’ll find recipes for the dishes mentioned throughout the book in the appendix.

Have fun cooking!

Prologue

Four Years Ago

“Since there are no other living relatives, or at least none who can be located, you, Mr. John Dempsey, will inherit the sum total of Mr. Galletti’s worldly fortune,” the notary explained to everyone in the room from his position behind the enormous mahogany desk. He looked over his glasses at the young man. “Do you accept the inheritance?”

.John sat there, completely perplexed, not really knowing what to make of the reading of the last will and testament. His former boss, his wife, and his eldest daughter had been murdered just a few weeks before. After the horrific event, the younger daughter had disappeared. Ally. His Ally – the woman John had once wanted to marry. Sometimes it seemed to him as though it had already been an eternity since those days. So much had happened since then. His career with his bandmates had catapulted him out of the realm of normal life, smack dab into full-on showbiz. He had been one of America’s most eligible bachelors. All of a sudden, the world was his oyster – at least that’s how it had seemed. But he’d never forgotten Ally.

Secretly, John hoped she was still alive and that no one had hurt her. Her father’s murderer was surely in organized crime and wouldn’t rest until all members of the immediate Galletti clan were dead. At that moment, he swore to himself he’d search high and low for her until he found her – or at least what was left of her.

Three weeks ago, immediately after he’d returned to the States, he’d put numerous private detectives on the trail of Allison Galletti, but no one had yet been able to give him the slightest hint as to her whereabouts. It was as though she had disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Chapter 1

Ally

She was so done with life. The room – if you could call this pigsty that – was a nightmare! Dirty walls stained with water damage. Wallpaper peeling off, a totally threadbare carpet, hardly recognizable as such. How had she wound up in this dump? How had her ideal world been destroyed so thoroughly?

She knew the answer to this question well enough, but her frustration ran so deep, it threatened to break her. Ally was often so overwhelmed with emotion, she could hardly contain herself. But she couldn’t allow these feelings to take control or she would no longer be able to defend herself.

Today was one of those days, but she couldn’t afford the luxury of forgetting, or else she’d be discovered – and that’s something she never wanted to live through. She owed it to her dead family to survive.

As the memories flashed through her brain like some techno bass line, she closed her eyes and returned to the past:

Four years ago, on a rainy November night, she disappeared. Ally knew then that it was her only chance to survive. And she seized upon it.

As soon as she returned home from a friend’s house – she had snuck out of her room for a few hours – she noticed that something was amiss. The bodyguards weren’t at their usual posts. That had never happened before. The strangeness of this scenario put her in high alarm. Shortly thereafter, she found her father, lying in a pool of blood in the living room. The beige carpet was red with his blood, his dead eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling, and the room was gripped by a ghostly silence. Tears running down her cheeks, she lay down next to him and put her hand to his cheek – it was cool to the touch. Her whole life, he’d been there for her, solid as a rock. And now here he lay, like a felled tree.

Panic gripped her then. Where were her mother and her sister? Blind with terror, Ally ran up the stairs – something she would regret doing to this very day. The sight of those violated bodies, throats slit at the end of their ordeal, had buried itself deep in her subconscious. She would never be able to forget it. The images pursued her every night and even in the daylight, she was helpless in the face of sudden flashbacks.

Shaken by the emotions that gripped her anew every time she recalled that night, Ally opened her eyes again. Back in the here and now, she straightened up weakly and drove the images from her mind. She couldn’t get distracted – there was no room for sentimentality. She was no longer that sheltered girl, Allison Galletti. Now she called herself Ally Gale. Up until recently, she was Mary Collins. She’d already forgotten the other names; there had been too many, too many false identities that she’d taken on over the course of the past four years. Her new name was the first one that hearkened back to her old self. Up to now, she’d strictly avoided that. Also, she was back in New York. This was also a first since that horrific day. She was once more in her home city, which was another reason the memories were taking a hold of her so strongly, pulling her into a maelstrom of emotions that threatened to drown her. It was almost as bad as in the first few weeks after she’d gone underground.

Glancing at her watch, Ally was overcome with urgency, which ripped her, gratefully, from the dark hole of reminiscing. Today was the day she had to do the night shift. One of her colleagues was sick, otherwise Ally was always on the early shift. The hole-in-the-wall she worked in at the moment was a shady dive during the daytime, but at night it was sheer hell. Rough characters loitering, drunk, at the tables, now and then swerving into the path of one of the female bodies to grope them. Bodies, not women, for the waitresses here were not regarded as people, but rather as fixtures that belonged to the drinks that the men here consumed by the liter. The girls who served here were prey for them.

Her choice of name gave her an uneasy feeling on a daily basis, so she’d come to regret it. Ally Gale – Allison Galletti. It was too similar. What if it lead her family’s murderers to her trail? One thing was certain: she had to disappear again soon and change her identity again, for she would not find any peace with this one. Maybe she should be a ‘Monica Lewis’ for a change and go back to the West Coast – she liked the weather there better, anyway.

Ally had wanted to turn down the night shift, but her boss had totally flipped out and threatened to fire her. It was the end of the month and Ally was afraid she wouldn’t get her pay for the last four weeks if she didn’t go in tonight. She needed the money. Badly.  She’d hardly eaten anything for two days.  Before she’d gotten this job, she’d been unemployed for three weeks and burned through all her savings. She hated being so dependent on the whims of others. There was nothing for it but to bite the bullet. It would only be a few more days before she disappeared again, anyway. There was no chance of one of her father’s enemies washing up in this hole. Nevertheless, she went into work today with a queasy feeling. Years of running had made her mistrustful of every little change. Although her entire life was in a constant state of flux and she should actually be used to working odd hours, it was particularly difficult for her to go into work on this night. Every few weeks she pulled up stakes, moved to another city, started using a new name, and got a job in some place where no one asked for her ID.  Like in this one where she worked now. In her experience, these were always questionable operations in which she was employed as a waitress, although sometimes she cleaned.  After a while, some of the men would want more and get pushy, and that’s when she disappeared again.

***

The cigarette haze burned her eyes and made her throat feel sore. She had been right – this dive was the gates of hell tonight. The men here were altogether the scum of the earth. They were constantly groping Ally and trying to convince her, with a dirty vocabulary, to meet them after her shift. Their chances were nil, but Ally dared not say that to any of them directly, or her boss would throw her out on the spot and her wages from almost four weeks would be gone. She didn’t want to go hungry anymore and was also worried about being thrown out of her apartment. She couldn’t withstand that. Frugality, spartan meals, and a run-down room, that she could bear, but no more hunger.

That very moment another somebody pawed her behind. With nothing more than an irritated sigh, she turned to the groper with a sweet smile.  “Can I get you anything else?”

The look in the man’s eyes was unmistakable. “No no, honey. You don’t need to bring me anything else. I already have everything I want right here in my hand.” He waggled his eyebrows smugly and his buddies laughed. Drops of beer glistened in his dark beard and a broken tooth blemished his smile.  He was no beauty and his bad behavior this night made him seem even uglier.

Ally bent over to him and whispered in his ear: “Better lay off me, big guy. My boss has a couple nice surprises under the bar for guys who don’t respect his property.” Lying was one of her defenses against these types and she’d learned to use it well. The other was Krav Maga, an Israeli martial art that she could do in her sleep, but only used in cases of absolute emergency.

As though he’d burned himself on her much too short jeans, the patron withdrew his hand. Ally said out loud: “Your friend has magic hands.” A round of guffaws went up and she left him not too unhappy. She’d rebuffed him without embarrassing him. It was one thing she’d learned over the course of time.

The evening progressed with several similar scenarios, but she wasn’t surprised. Early shift was easier. Sullen men who just wanted coffee and who let loose with a rude joke once in a while. That said, her tips were looking good tonight. She was easily tripling her hourly rate. That ensured that she’d have dinner tonight and enough left over for food for tomorrow and the day after. She heaved a sigh of relief. Hunger was awful; she didn’t want to live that way anymore. Every lapdog needed its gravy.

“Hey baby,” called her boss, who was pulling beer from behind the bar at the moment. Ally approached him reluctantly. “You’re really on it tonight. These guys are drinking more tonight that ever. I’m thinking I’ll keep you on the night shift.

She had been afraid of just this sort of thing happening. “Uh, that’s nice of you, but I usually have to watch my kid in the evenings.”

“Then you’ll have to get a babysitter.” He kept skulking around, waiting for her next excuse. Her internal alarm went off. He had something up his sleeve and she had to be careful.

“I can’t work here forever, anyway. I’m pregnant again.” Why had she said that? She didn’t even know – it certainly didn’t help her case.

Alexej neared here and took her chin roughly in his hand. “Either you take over the night shift or you’ve worked here long enough. Got it?” His cold eyes gleamed threateningly. Evidently, no one had ever refused him before and there was no way she was going to be the first.

“Yeah, I got it.” Boiling with anger on the inside, she didn’t say what was actually on her mind, making a secret pledge to pack up and leave as soon as possible. As soon as she had this past month’s wages in her pocket, she was gone.

When he realized how submissive she was acting, Alexej’s eyes lit up and he looked her up and down. He was basically a good looking guy, but his character was straight out of a nightmare. She felt a shiver of fear run up her spine. “Good girl. You’ve earned a reward. I’ll see you in my office after your shift.”

Ally gulped and moved away from his hand. Without even looking at him again, she turned away. Don’t run, she kept telling herself, while she found her feet steering her to a table full of empty glasses. By no means did she want to show the fear that she felt in this moment. Her flight reflexes were kicking in and she rapidly ran through her options. There weren’t a lot to choose from.

One thing was certain: She would never again enter Alexej’s office, not tonight or any other night.

Chapter 2

John

In the past four years, he’d searched high and low for her. He had even contracted people to find her, but it was as though Ally had disappeared from the face of the Earth. Thinking about what might have happened to her drove him absolutely crazy. He’d never found closure.  He still had music, but it hadn’t been long before even that had failed to distract him. When the band had broken up and they had all disappeared from the public eye, the need to find Ally had turned into a kind of obsession that he could hardly control.

He thought back to the young woman that she had been – no one was more beautiful to him than Allison Galletti. An angel. At first, he’d just seen her as a kid, but with time that had changed. John had fallen head over heels for her, and she for him. There was hardly a moment he wasn’t thinking about her. But Ally’s father was against their relationship and forbid them to see each other. With heavy hearts, they respected his wish, so feared was Calogero Galletti – full-blooded Sicilian and a man capable of anything. He was the only person whom John had ever feared and, at the same time, Galletti was something of a hero figure for him.

Ally’s father had taken him under his wing when he was a young hoodlum, fighting for survival. At the time, he had been sixteen years old and felt honored to become a member of the notorious Galletti Clan. He idolized the boss and, over time, had done everything for him without question, even when that meant denying himself his true love – or taking somebody’s life. Galletti House was his first real home. He didn’t know who his real father was. His mother died of an overdose of some tainted drug when he was fifteen. She had been a junkie as far back as he could remember and had never really been a real mother for him. As a child he had felt only disdain for her and now, as an adult, he couldn’t comprehend how a mother could treat her child that way.

So John listened to Calogero, tried to stay away from Ally, but his heart was always with her. At some point, there was a moment that changed everything. He could no longer stand the situation – seeing her without being able to touch her was sheer hell for him. The decision to leave the Gallettis was not an easy one, but he wanted to prove himself to Calogero and return someday to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage again. The Boss wouldn’t be able to refuse him, with his pockets full of honest money. But John missed the right moment.

After he had gotten to know his bandmates and they’d began climbing the charts, the way back was difficult. Up to that point, he’d just played guitar to make up for some of his screwed-up life. He’d found his first instrument next to a dumpster and lovingly restored it. He still had the piece, but in the meantime he’d started playing much better guitars. Music had saved him – without it, he would’ve been totally down and out, destroyed by the type of shit that had been the story of his life up until that point. In the years before he wound up with the Gallettis, he’s spent all his time playing guitar. He’d practiced every free moment, learning songs from the radio and, later, composing his own versions of top hits. Before he was discovered, he knew he could play well, but obviously other people thought he was the stuff of legend.

From that point on, his life went into fast-forward.

And now, seven years after he’d left the Gallettis, he had seen Allison again for the first time. He would have recognized her anywhere. And what he saw was hard to take. His stomach had cramped terribly, when he rediscovered her, his Ally, all grown up and more beautiful than ever. Curly, chestnut-brown hair falling over her naked shoulders, wearing hotpants that revealed far too much of her gorgeous legs. There was little left to the imagination. But her eyes didn’t have the same light; instead she seemed tired, exhaustion written over her whole body.

The corner right next to the bar offered the perfect cover. He’d pulled his baseball cap down over his brow so that he could still see everything, and hear a lot, too. Nothing escaped him. John witnessed every dirty finger that touched Ally’s body. The lewdness of the other men enraged him, so that he struggled to contain himself and not get up and knock heads with someone. Only his supernatural self-control kept him from putting any of these revolting characters in the hospital. He hadn’t felt such a need since his early days.

As Ally approached and stood at the bar, he lowered his head and perked his ears. She couldn’t be allowed to recognize him now – not too early.

The muscle-bound type behind the bar called her to him. It was impossible to miss his Russian accent. After praising Ally, he explained what hours she’d be working in the future.

Her head was down – John couldn’t read her face. And then she said something that almost made him fall off his stool. “Uh, that’s nice of you, but I usually have to watch my kid in the evenings.”

Allison had a child? She was a mother? And working in such a shithole? What had happened to the sweet, Catholic-school girl? That Ally would’ve never been caught dead in a place like this! John could only sit there, watching and listening to everything she said. He would have much rather grabbed her and hauled her out of the place.

This guy was looking at her like she was a leather jacket he wanted to buy. Then he told her cold-heartedly that she’d have to find a babysitter. He was talking like it was a done deal, trying to push something on her that obviously wasn’t what she wanted. John observed the scene, fascinated, and hung on Ally’s every word.

“I can’t work here forever, anyway. I’m pregnant again.”  Ally was pregnant? It was only getting worse! The secondhand smoke in this dive was enough to harm the kid. What was she thinking? Where was her sense of duty?

The Russian slave-driver was looking at Ally as though making known with his eyes alone that he was the one in charge here. He threatened to fire her if she didn’t do what he was asking. Guys like this liked to use their power, especially with women who didn’t know how to defend themselves, or couldn’t.

Ally seemed broken and vulnerable. John had the sudden desire to help her and her child, if she’d let him. And the rage he felt towards this bastard behind the bar made him ball his hands up into fists. He would’ve liked to offer his opinion on the situation, but that wouldn’t fly. What happened next made John grit his teeth. The asshole was pressing his body against Ally’s. It was too much for John – hot rage flowed like lava through his veins.

The man’s eyes lit up greedily and John already knew what was coming next. “Good girl. You’ve earned a reward. I’ll see you in my office after your shift.”

Ally gulped and quickly turned away, but she didn’t argue with him. John could have screamed. Had she been subjected to this kind of ‘reward’ from this jerk before? This scumbag! Just thinking of it made him shudder. This wasn’t his Ally. Old Galletti would have turned over in his grave to see what had become of his daughter. John could hardly believe how far this girl from his past had fallen.

***

John stayed until just before the bar closed, when he left in order to wait to talk to Ally outside. If she took longer than ten minutes, then he could be sure that she hadn’t resisted the advances of the barkeep. He ground his teeth together with impatience, lurking in the shadow of an entryway, starring at the back door of the dive – imagining what was going on inside. It was a clear night. A brief shower had washed away the city smog and it felt good to breath freely. This helped clear his mind a little, but his heart was still hammering in his chest, enraged. He kept seeing images of those two coarse hands running over Ally’s body.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Ally came running out, stumbled, and he could see one of the man’s paws reaching for her. “You little slut, you’ll pay for this! I thought we had an understanding.” The man was beside himself with anger and flung Allison’s body violently against the outside wall.

Immediately, a jolt went through John and he crossed the street in a few long strides. This wasn’t hard for him, at his considerable size of about 6’5”.

He came to a standstill between the two – a clear signal to the man who had dared touch Ally. What if something happened to the baby? “Hey! You got a problem?” he said, his voice edged with a threat.

John could see from her expression and the way she gasped for breath that Ally knew who was speaking, although he stood with his back to the light source, his face in shadow. Ally had recognized him by his voice.

“Piss off, buddy! This bitch is mine.” But the barman couldn’t get another word in before John’s fist met him full in the face. There was a grisly sound as his nose broke, John noted with satisfaction. Hellish satisfaction. Moaning, the man touched his head. He was bleeding like a stuck pig.

John could care less – he was seeing red. No matter what Ally had become since she’d disappeared, she didn’t deserve to be called a bitch. Decisively, he used his advantage, pummeling the man until he lay in a heap in the dirty alley. Adrenaline shot through his veins and his old ways came rushing back: Don’t stop until the other guy quits moving! But at the last minute, he pulled himself together, remembering that he was a different person now, that he didn’t want to be that guy he used to be.

Resolutely, he grabbed Ally’s arm and pulled her with him to the car. “Are you crazy?” she wanted to know in all seriousness. Her voice sounded shrill.

He came to an abrupt standstill. “Crazy?” he asked, his voice dangerously quiet, while his  face, close to hers, hardened.

“Yeah! You just came crashing back into my life after all these years and beat my boss to a bloody pulp.” She stood across from him, her arms crossed. There was nothing left of the subservient women who’d been waitressing before. She was harder than he’d thought.

“Life? You call this a life?” he shot back, appalled, and stretched out his hand to indicate the bar and the Russian lying on the ground.

Ally looked him up and down. Confused, he realized that the expression on her face was of scorn. She pulled it off exceptionally well – anyone would feel like a worm when she looked at them like that.  “Yeah well, not everyone has reached such heights as you, Rockstar. What do you want from me?”

Something in her voice made him take notice. Amazed, John realized that she was putting on a defiant front only to protect herself. Under the hard shell she was playing up, she was still the same Ally that he knew. Sweet, smart, and still very young. “I want to help you, Ally.” He spoke in a gentle tone. “I have been looking for you for years. This morning, for the first time in four years of searching, a private detective came and told me where I could find you. And here I am.”

She started to laugh. “Yeah, so I see. Now you want to play the white knight?” He was being met with bitter sarcasm. “Forget it, I can take care of myself. Go back to your perfect life, where you won’t have to deal with scum like me anymore.” She jutted her chin at him and then turned around and made as though to take off.

“Ally, wait!” She threw him a poisonous glance over her shoulder before continuing on. She was not going to make it easy for him, he realized in this moment. And why should she? Where had he been, when she was fighting through the darkest hours of her life? He and his band had been touring the biggest venues – he’d only heard about what happened weeks later. At that point she was already long gone and he’d had no chance of finding her.

In two steps, he caught up to her and grabbed her shoulder. “I’ll drive you home.” His voice sounded raw and his fingers dug into her flesh, but she looked at him just as coldly as before. John could have screamed with frustration. Why couldn’t he get through to her? This was not how he had pictured their reunion. Joyful tears, embracing – that’s what he’d wanted. He’d been an idiot to believe that it would be just like all those years ago! But he was damned if he’d let her go. “Quit complaining and get in. The way you run around, I don’t buy your act anyway.” If looks could kill, he would’ve fallen dead then and there. It left him cold. But he’d learned to handle rejection, just like fawning praise. Showbiz had taught him how to deal with the emotions of others – really, it had taught him to ignore them.

“No.”

He groaned with irritation and, spontaneously, picked her up and flung her over one shoulder. Ally defended herself with hands and feet, but this display was no real threat to him. John would pull her out of this mess, whether she wanted it or not. He owed it to Ally and to her family. He was someone who honored his debts – she should know that.

“Let me go, you big ape! I’m not one of your whores you can just drag into your lair. I don’t need help! You know perfectly well that I can take care of myself on my own.” Her hot breath hit his neck and made his blood boil for another reason.

“Yeah, I see.” Roughly, he deposited her into the passenger’s seat of his convertible and then jumped in before she had a chance to escape.

Her body had felt damned good against his and he could have carried her around like that for hours. Her warmth, her scent – he was lost in her presence. “What’s your address,” came the non-question through his gritted teeth. He should have recalled the detective’s report better, but his mind was empty at the moment.

He could almost feel her rage in his own body, as she sat there, arms crossed, staring out the car window. “Never.”

“Fine, I’ll take you to my place.” She whipped her head around to face him as he maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. He didn’t even think of giving in. He’d searched for her for too many years. If he let her go now, she’d disappear faster than he could park the car again. If she was determined to be stubborn, well, he could be stubborn, too. Some people just had to be pushed in the right direction and clearly Ally belonged to this group.

Chapter 3

Ally

She would have known him anywhere. His smell, the way he walked, the way he shook his head. Everything about him had been branded onto her memory until it was like a piece of herself. She would have recognized him immediately from the powerful way he moved and his unique voice – a voice that got into her subconscious and lit up a feeling of yearning, a feeling she didn’t want, couldn’t have. Her life was screwed up enough as it was – there was no room here for John Dempsey. As a kid she’d swooned over this man, dreamed of him, wanted to marry him one day. As the years passed and she’d realized that he was interested in her, it had been an intoxicating feeling, indescribable.

He had courted her and she’d felt privileged to even be noticed by him, because back then he was devilishly handsome – and she hadn’t been the only one to see that. Now and then he’d stolen a kiss, but nothing more had ever happened between them. They were too scared of Ally’s father. Ally he would probably have locked up in a Sicilian nunnery and John would’ve become fish food. But they had such a connection, John went to her father and asked for her hand in marriage.  Although she had been just 16 years old and John not much older, they hadn’t wanted to sneak around anymore, had wanted to follow their hearts. They were convinced that they belonged together.

What happened next, she could only guess. John vanished from her life in a cloak-and-dagger operation. She only saw him for five minutes before he was gone. As a parting gift, she’d given him an old Rolex that she’d inherited from her grandfather, to remember her by. The watch had a compass and Ally, gripped with dopey romance, had whispered the words: The compass points to me. You’ll always be able to find me with it.

John had promised to return as soon as he’d made something of his life. And then she hadn’t seen him until today. Which was actually her deepest wish. And now John was here, back in New York. Back in the gutter from which her father had pulled him and which Ally now called home. What a twist of fate.

That asshole Alexej had caught her as she’d been pulling her month’s wages from the register. She’d never steal. She had only taken what was owed her. She had wanted to get away before he noticed, but the guy had eyes and ears everywhere. It was just her rightful pay, that she’d taken, not a cent more, but he suspected something else. When she realized that he wasn’t going to let her go until she surrendered to him completely, she kicked him in the shins and kneed him where it counted. But she hadn’t gotten very far – he’d grabbed her at the door when she’d stumbled.

Everything happened very quickly after that. Suddenly, John was standing there and she had to admit that she wasn’t unhappy to have him on her side in this situation. If he hadn’t’ve been then, it could have gone in a completely different direction. When he grabbed her and jockeyed her into the car, it had awakened in her totally unexpected feelings. Tightly pressed up against the man for whom she would once have gone to hell and back, his scent in her nose and his heat on her skin – it was like oil on open flame. She cursed her temperamental, fiery Italian heritage as it threatened to consume her.

She’d been involved with John once before, had fallen in love, and then he’d simply vanished and Allison Galletti was forgotten. He’d never fulfilled his promise to return as soon as he’d made something of himself. Instead, she’d had to see his photo splashed across the pages of the magazines with this or that woman. She couldn’t forgive him this bitter disappointment to this day. She wouldn’t be able to survive the same again. Why on earth had he thought of her at all? As a member of one of the most successful bands playing, he could’ve had a thousand Allys. And none of them ever had a New York mafia boss for a father, one who barred the way. Clearly that was the easier route. She couldn’t blame him.

Her entire life had changed in the blink of an eye and she’d had to disappear. No one was meant to find her, not even John. It had worked until today. But how could she ignore the past when it was suddenly standing right in front of her? Impossible!

Why had he come back now, of all times? Why hadn’t he looked for her earlier? What did he want from her?

While the houses rushed passed, she brooded over the question of how she’d gotten in this dubious situation.

The money from Alexej’s cash register was securely hidden in an interior pocket of her shorts, in a secret fold she’d sewn in. No one would steal this hard-earned money from her in a lax moment. Survival was hard for her and she was thankful for the many hours of training in self-defense she’d had as a young women. Her father had insisted on it, no excuses. She hadn’t even gotten out of it when she’d been sick. Ally remembered one day she’d had a high fever. Her father had stormed into her room and pulled the covers off of her. He was adamant that she keep up with her training – and explained to her that an attacker wouldn’t care if she was sick, either. And he’d been right, although she’d only realized it much later. At the time she’d balked stubbornly and hadn’t talked to him for two days. Today she would’ve given anything to take back those two days, but it was too late.

John’s voice was velvety smooth, inviting, seductive, as he brought her back from her thoughts and asked her for her address. But she didn’t give his request a single thought. Since he didn’t know where she lived, she’d jump out of the car the first chance she got and never see this arrogant idiot ever again. He should never suspect that she was still that young, eager woman from long ago.

Chapter 4

John

His gaze flitted back and froth from the street to Ally, but she remained in the same position she’d been in when they started driving: Her face was stony and her arms crossed; everything about her pose signaled hostility. He couldn’t really hold it against her but she’d left him no other choice.

He drove on steadily, the car smoothly absorbing the irregularities in the asphalt. The radio was playing a classical piano piece. Normally, he would have felt right at home in this situation. He loved driving, but today he was tense and every fiber of his body was attuned to Ally.

After half an hour of driving, they pulled in before a large steel door that opened at the push of a button, allowing them access to the underground garage below. John perceived how Ally stiffened in this moment and knew suddenly that, as soon as he stopped all the way, she would try to flee. Alarmed, he activated the door locks. It would only delay her for a moment, but it would suffice to let the garage door close all the way. It didn’t occur to him to hold onto her, although she reminded him of a wild animal whose only active reflex was flight – even when flight led to certain death.

He observed how she unbuckled herself stealthily and clutched at the door handle. She had barely released the door lock when she jumped out of the car, even though John hadn’t parked yet. In the rearview mirror, he watched as she stopped at the closed garage door, her gaze flitting here and there, panicky. His plan had worked.

Grinning, he got out of the car. The fluorescent lights buzzed above him and cast a cold light over the scene.

Ally’s gaze could only be called hate-filled, as she looked him over and pressed her hands to her sexy hips. She looked good enough to eat, curves in all the right places, but he stopped himself short of telling her that. In her current mood, she’d probably scratch his eyes out.

“Wipe that grin off your face. I want to go home.” The evil glint in her eyes left him cold.

“Do I really have to remind you? I asked you what your address was so I could take you there.  You’re the one who didn’t answer.” Casually, he pushed a button on the keychain and activated the automatic locks on his luxury vehicle.

“Because it’s none of your business, goddamn it!” She cried out, furious, and stamped her foot to emphasize the point.

He raised an eyebrow. “You, cursing?” He’d never heard her use foul language – she’d always been one of the best behaved people he’d ever known. The Catholic sisters had really made a masterpiece out of her. The Ally of today was another story. She swore, hung around in awful dives, and who knew how she really earned a living. He shook his head sadly. “And stamping your foot like a spoiled brat!”

“Also none of your business.” Her cold gaze was enough to give him the shivers.

He had to take another tack. “Ally, just come up with me for a minute and we’ll talk about it,” he bid her, quietly.  “Then I’ll drive you home. As far as I’m concerned, you can take a cab home. Your babysitter will be glad for the extra hour.”

A shadow crossed her face and her brow furrowed, annoyed. “What on earth are you talking about? Why do you think I have a babysitter?” Everything about her was on the defensive, as her eyes bored into him.

There was something strange about her. If he didn’t know any better, he would have said this was not the Allison Galletti that he knew. “Before, in the bar, you mentioned you had a kid. I just thought, because you don’t make a lot and I’m keeping you, that it would only be fair if I gave you the money for the babysitter.”

Shaken, John realized she was laughing at him. “Sorry, John, but that’s none of your concern. Never was, never will be.” That stung! “Just one thing: That was a damn excuse to get out of working night shift. I don’t have a kid waiting for me at home. Not yet.” Not yet, because she was pregnant at the moment. What month was she, anyway?

He added lying to the diverse ways in which she was so different now. She had lied, even if only in self-defense. He had believed it. Man! “Okay, I get it. Get your laughs out. Come on, Allison – we can go have a calm conversation upstairs in my penthouse.”

“Listen, John, I have no desire to talk to you in private. Why should I follow you up to your luxury cathouse?” She tapped her foot impatiently on the gray garage floor.

He shrugged his shoulders and, in an attempt to make her curious, answered: “Do it for old times’ sake and because I want to tell you something about your father’s murder.” He congratulated himself on the skillful play of this trump card.

She reeled backward as though he had struck her. He would have liked to introduce the topic a little more gently, but she had to go and be so stubborn. He kept his eyes on her as he pressed the button for the elevator. “Wha... What do you mean?” Her voice echoed shakily off the bald walls and gave him a glimpse of the Ally he knew. Or rather, the Ally he had known.

“Let’s go up. I don’t want to talk about it down here.” The elevator arrived with a loud ding and the doors opened. As though completely out of her senses, Ally fell on John and began beating his chest with her fists. “What did you find out? Tell me!” She let loose with heartbreaking sobs and John cursed himself for telling her about it this way.

In the next moment, she sagged into him as though someone had pulled the plug on her. John was able to stop her fall in the last second, otherwise she would have crumpled to the floor. That thing about pregnant women blacking out obviously has some truth to it, he thought briefly. But how could he help her? Her body felt so soft and vulnerable. And her scent was something else – simply delectable.

Perplexed, he carried her into the elevator, inserted his key, and pressed the button for the penthouse. He held his precious cargo safe in his arms.

Chapter 5

Ally

She dreamed a wonderful dream there, one that she didn’t actually want to wake from. John was there and held her in his arms – muscular arms that promised such security. And he spoke to her quietly and soothingly. It was such a good feeling, a feeling of being so protected. Finally, after all these years, she’d reached her destination. Home. She let out a contented sigh and snuggled closer to him. He smelled like some kind of exotic spice and the fabric of his shirt touched her nose gently.

“Everything will be all right, Ally. I’m here now.” This deep, caressing voice vibrated in her ear and her heart beat slowly but strongly. She wanted so much to believe him. Wanted to believe that, finally, everything would be okay again.

It seemed so real, too real! With a jolt, she was awake and raised her head in alarm. She was staring right into John’s steel-blue eyes. What was going on? How had she ended up in this traitor’s arms? Instantly, her body stiffened.

“Let me down, you... you...” she hissed.

He looked down at her with silent mockery. Somehow he managed with his gaze alone to bring her blood to a boiling point. The heat welled up in her and it seemed as though the space around them lost oxygen. She didn’t want him to see how much his proximity flustered her and so placed a decisive hand on his chest. All at once, he let her go. Ally had a feeling of falling and cried out in fear. She recognized the amused glint in his eye as she regarded him, furious, from the comfortable sofa where he’d deposited her. She could have laid into him.

The room they were in was enormous. And the windows that extended all the way to the ceiling provided a grand view of the nighttime skyline of New York. The décor was tasteful, but clearly lacking a woman’s touch. The fact that there were only a few decorative touches here and there was a clear sign that he lived alone. She was dismayed to discover how much this pleased her. In point of fact, John’s life nowadays had nothing to do with her. This realization burned in her like acid.

“Do you like it?” John’s voice brought her back from her thoughts and she looked up at him. “The apartment, I mean.”

“Yeah, real nice.” She sat up and immediately felt uncomfortable. The clothes she was wearing were fine for a place like Alexej’s, but in this noble penthouse apartment, they were out of place. She was ashamed to feel suddenly almost naked. Quickly, she grabbed a large pillow and put it in her lap.

In earlier days, when they had still been close, she’d always gone to the salon at least once a month to get her finger- and toenails done. She was a welcome customer there, but this was many years ago. In the meantime, she’d started cutting her hair herself and only buying makeup on clearance, synthetic stuff. Nowadays, those haughty employees wouldn’t even let her through the door anymore. Her poverty was visible. This fact embarrassed Ally, even when it shouldn’t have. Really, it shouldn’t matter to her at all what others thought. But it did.

“Do you want something to drink? Or are you hungry?”

Hungry? Yes, she was emphatically hungry, but she wouldn’t admit it to him. “No, thank you.” But the rumbling of her stomach made a liar out of her. It was impossible to miss and John’s eyebrow shot up again. God, was that sexy! She was still drawn to him like a moth to light. He only had to stand there and look at her like that and she melted.

“Aha!” He exclaimed and grabbed for his telephone. “Hi, Oliver? I know it’s the middle of the night, but... yeah, that would be great. For two. Okay.” With a smile he turned back to her. “We’ll eat in twenty minutes.”

She had watched him closely the whole time he’d had the phone in hand. It was obvious that John Dempsey had changed. He had an air of experience, of being grown up, of knowing exactly what he wanted and what he didn’t. Although, really, he’d had that a long time ago. She’d noticed it even back then and liked it.  But now he was somehow – different. He seemed – powerful. Something about him radiated decisiveness, just like with her father, earlier. Until now, she’d thought it was total bunk, the theory that women are attracted to men who exude that sense of power. But John had an additional bonus. The aura that surrounded him almost vibrated. What is that? She wondered, saying out loud: “Thank you.” He wasn’t going to let her go, anyway – would insist that she stay and talk, so she might as well enjoy a meal at his expense. After all, she hadn’t eaten anything substantial in days.

“So why did you pass out?” he asked, settling into a chair across from her. Dark-blue jeans clothed his long legs and the white shirt he wore hugged his body like a second skin. A dark lock of hair had fallen into his face and she would have liked to have brushed it back into place tenderly. Was his hair still so thick and soft that you just wanted to run your hands through it forever? Oh, man, how she had loved to let her fingers slide through it.

Troubled by her unwelcome feelings, she glanced at him defiantly. “Just because. Why does there have to be a reason? Isn’t it what everyone’s doing these days? Hey, I’m going to pass out!” she replied cattily, although she had to admit, he hadn’t done anything wrong in asking. Resigned, she shrugged her shoulders and then gave him the answer in a subdued voice, finding her childish behavior suddenly awful. “John, I have money trouble and haven’t been able to eat much in the last couple of days. It was just hunger.” And how hungry she was! He would’ve understood if she’d gone on to tell him, but it wasn’t any of his concern. It wasn’t anyone’s. Only hers.

John was shocked – she could see it on his face. She gave him credit for not saying anything.

“Don’t look at me like that. You still know what hunger is, right?” She asked, a little irritated, and couldn’t stifle a snort.

“Do I know it? You never forget something like hunger. It brands itself onto your memory. But, for the life of me, I can’t understand why you didn’t just come to me. I would have dropped everything to help you and, what’s more, I would have given you your inheritance so you wouldn’t have had to live like this a minute longer.” John leaned towards her and looked at her earnestly.

“You?” She couldn’t get another word out at that moment. Her inheritance – that was something else entirely. When she had gone underground, she couldn’t claim any of it and it had gone to the next of kin. Neither her mother nor her sister had survived, so the closest beneficiary had gotten everything. In this case, that was John. Her father clearly held him in higher regard than he’d been willing to admit while he was alive. Over the intervening years, this had really rankled her. She had carried around that question of what might have happened if she and John had been married at the time of the attack. And now this! Calogero Galletti had been against their union. So why had he left his entire fortune to him? He could have donated it to one of the countless charities that he supported every year with giant sums.

“But that’s exactly what they were waiting for. They knew that I’d run out of money at some point and that the first thing I’d do then is go to you,” Ally spoke under her breath. Often – very often – she’d played with the idea of searching John out, but her better judgment had kept her away. She was so damn tired, she just wanted to find peace. Peace and security and no more of this survival living.

John looked just as exhausted, the way he ran his hand over his face and shook his head, resigned. “Maybe, but that’s been off the table for about a year now.” He looked her steadily in the eyes, which was reassuring in and of itself.

“What do you mean?” Ally held her breath. Within her chest, hope and disbelief duked it out.

“I did everything I could to find your family’s murderer. Together with the FBI, I had him and his closest acquaintances taken into custody.”

“What? How... ?” Ally stammered, stunned. Her heart hammered at her chest like a wild thing. In all her daydreams, she’d always imagined the bastard that had her family killed getting his due punishment. 

He looked beyond her, at something in his mind’s eye, and answered: “I lured him in, posing as a go-between until I was on the inside. The perp knew me and didn’t blink an eye when I told him that, now that I was out of show business, I wanted to make an investment with him.” Horrified, Ally’s eyes grew wide as she realized the danger he’d been in. It couldn’t be true! Why had he done it? He had been more of a son to her father than even he’d thought, back then. “And at some point, they trusted me so much that they didn’t watch what they were saying in front of me. That’s when it all went down. And the Correlli family was taken in.”

“Corelli? It was him? My God! I took communion with Lilliana! And her mother was always so nice to me.” Ally’s words left her lips in a whisper. “Why?”

“The garbage collection business that old Corelli had with your father was probably part of the problem. He used the routes to deliver massive amounts of cocaine to the dealers. Your father got wind of it, confronted him, and ultimately bought him out. He wanted to keep that branch of his business clean, for the sake of your family.” John cleared his throat. “And then on top of that there was likely a private matter...”

Her eyes burned and if a knock at the door hadn’t have come at that very moment, she wouldn’t have been able to hold back the tears any longer.

The chef stuck his head in and, when John gave him a quick signal, brought the meal in. Ally wrenched herself together, swallowing the lump in throat.

A short time later they were sitting at the table, but before Ally started eating, she had to know one last thing. “Aren’t you afraid that they’ll find you out someday? I mean, they can’t put all the Corellis behind bars. And we know they’re vindictive and capable of anything, from what they did on that day four years ago.”

He took a deep breath, and, with his next words, transformed into something dangerous – bulletproof. “Do you really think I’m so gullible? I covered my back, did it so well they’ll never dare, not even in their wildest dreams, never dare to make a move or attack my loved ones. Your father was an excellent teacher.” She would have liked to know more, but she held herself back. What kind of safeguard would keep John’s body from the bottom of a river? Her father had indeed taken him under his wing, but she hoped that he was cleverer than him, when it came to his own safety.

“Uh huh. Well – bon appetit.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say – once the aroma of the meal had made its way to her senses, her head emptied of any other thought. Such hunger. With fresh energy she grabbed a fork full of spaghetti and opened wide. She trembled and felt ill – her pulse went off like crazy. She was clearly undernourished. It smelled wonderfully of garlic and oregano, reminding her of home, of Mom and Graciela and her sister. If Ally tried with all her might, closed her eyes, she could almost believe they were all back home. But she kept her eyes open, holding desperately to the here and now.

Chapter 6

John

The Corellis hadn’t exactly received him with open arms – in fact, they’d made it hard on him. But he hadn’t had anything better going on, after his band dissolved. And, anyway, he’d sworn vengeance on the night he learned of the Galletti murders.

Calogero Galletti had been the only person he’d ever looked up to. The man had been his idol. Revenge was an urge that ran deep, something that had been ingrained in him from his earliest experiences in the slums of New York. When someone took something away you were attached to, they got payback. That was one of the first rules of the street.

When he learned of the bloody deed, he knew immediately that something wasn’t right about it. Family members were never harmed – that was one of the unwritten laws of the mafia. So why were Galletti’s wife and daughter also slaughtered? The fact that the women had been assaulted before the killings confirmed his theory.

Although he was well off and, in fact, without a care in the world, he couldn’t resist retribution – didn’t want to. It was actually one of the reasons for his decision to leave the spotlight. It just so happened that his bandmates hadn’t wanted to return to the stage, either. It meant he’d have enough time to carry out his plan. But of course, nobody could find out. In fact, Ally was the first person outside of the FBI with whom he’d talked about it at all.

The feeling of being finally free from this burden overwhelmed him all of a sudden. From the get go, he’d wanted to present Ally with their heads on a silver platter, but it was no good to anyone if he fell back into his criminal ways. The entrapment was a much more elegant solution and, because he’d covered his back in a way no one else knew about – not even the FBI – he could rest easy; not even Ally’s life was in danger anymore.

John observed her attentively while she ate. It had torn a hole in his heart to see how hungry she was. And in her condition! He knew all too well how hunger felt, how it nagged at you and influenced your every decision and action. The defiance that grew in you because you didn’t want to give in, be weak – John recognized himself in Ally, the way he’d been when Calogero Galletti had first scooped him up. Her defiance and defensiveness towards him suddenly had a completely different effect on him. Slowly, he reached for his fork and began eating, sensing contentment between them – in this moment, anyway, and John hoped it would last a little longer. While they ate, a stirring aria from “Turandot” played in the background.

Ally held such sway over him, he felt like he was taking his own life into his hands just by looking into her eyes, which, at the moment, were closed in enjoyment. Her slutty clothes and bad haircut didn’t change a thing. She was such a beauty – nothing changed that.

But something bubbled up in him; he refused to accept that she had such power over him and his body. All she had to do was be nearby, then all he thought about was her. His traitorous body made it known just exactly what he’d like to do.

“Excuse me.” Furious with himself and his crazily raging hormones, he stood up and abruptly left the room. He had to clear his head before he faced her again. What did he have in mind, anyway? She wouldn’t take anything from him, no matter how insistent he was about old times. She was too proud for that. He had to transfer the inheritance to her without making it seem like a handout. This stubborn girl would demand a lot from him, that was clear, and yet he’d never been more convinced of a course of action than he was of helping her.

He felt a hand touch his forearm tentatively. “Thanks, John.”

Confused, he turned towards her, his brow furrowing as his gaze fell upon her naked legs. An objection echoed through him: Ally would never have been allowed to run around like this. Deep within him, his heart cried out: My Ally!

Chapter 7

Ally

When Ally saw how John threw his napkin onto the broad, highly polished table and rose, she knew that something had made him see red. He almost tipped the massive chair over. John had pushed it back with such force, its feet shrieked against the floor in protest.

Why was he so angry? Was it her reaction to his update on what had happened? Should she have reacted differently? Insecurity grabbed hold of her – something she couldn’t afford to feel in John’s presence. He still unleashed a tumult of feelings in her. Her emotions went all topsy turvy the moment she looked him in the eyes.

Resigned, she set her fork on the table and followed him. She’d never been the kind of person who put off problems for another day.

The door to an enormous home office stood open. Everything about this place was enormous – the rooms, the table, the servings of food. John stood on a balcony with his back to her and stared out at nighttime New York. His posture radiated pride, just as it had earlier – he seemed unreachable, but she gathered herself and put a hand on his forearm.

“Thanks, John.” The words weren’t easy to say. To some extent, Ally equated gratitude with dependency. She didn’t want to be dependent on anyone.

He turned toward her with a cold gaze, which travelled down the length of her body. Then his brow furrowed and he met her eyes grimly. His knee-jerk reaction jarred her. She should’ve just continued eating her spaghetti; there was no telling when she’d get something so delicious to eat again. And Mr. Macho was evidently not keen on company at the moment.

“Ally, what are you thinking?” Caught off guard by his contemptuous tone, she regarded him with confusion. Yet she knew immediately that he meant her clothing. His expression spoke volumes.

“These are my work clothes. Alexej makes us wear this. Personally, I’m not a fan, either, but I didn’t have any time to change.” She was filled with shame as she became aware of how she appeared in his eyes. She felt almost naked under his gaze. Nonetheless, it rankled her that she had to justify herself to him. “Really, what do you care? Just drive me home already,” she spat out furiously. She could care less if he saw how she lived. Tomorrow she’d move on again. She would have a new name and would surface in a completely different city, that was for sure. It was time to turn her back on New York for good.

His eyes as cold as steel, he met hers. “As you wish, Ally.” Beside himself with rage, he brushed by her. She felt his scorn wash over her in waves, robbing her of her breath.

She followed, irritated by his macho posturing. Together they returned to the garage, to his dark blue car. He didn’t speak a word and, after Ally gave him her address, she didn’t know what words could have appeased him. Stonily, he sat beside her – tough as nails, all man. The air around him positively shimmered with it.

Against her will, she wondered again how things might have turned out if they’d gotten married. But, this time, her thoughts went in a completely new direction. ‘Allison Dempsey’ – how many times had she penned the name in her high school notebooks? It decorated her diary by the page. Where was that diary now? Had it been discarded? Or worse: Had John read it? There was no reason to be ashamed, really – he’d known about her feelings for him, after all – just as she’d known his.

His hands were tight on the steering wheel. Hands that held her, hands that could start things with her that she only secretly desired. Her face flushed red with this thought. Quickly, she turned her head to the side and looked out the window. No way did she want him to suspect where her thoughts were wandering at the moment.

The cushioned motion and monotone sound of the car made her sleepy. Her lids fell and didn’t open again until John had parked outside her apartment building. But the drive alone hadn’t been enough to retank her energy; she slept on.

The feeling of being observed and the silence of the motor jolted Ally awake. John had stopped the car before the tumbledown building. The first pink strands of the rising sun could be seen in the sky. How long had she been asleep?

John looked at her earnestly. “You fell asleep.”

“You could have said something,” she snapped. This guy made her act so childishly – a realization that only increased her anger at him.

“I didn’t want to wake you. You obviously needed the sleep.” His demeanor had returned to normal and the rage that had broken the surface earlier was no longer evident.

At least he has a cool head, thought Ally, frustrated. Yet he seemed... vigilant. Biding his time, like an alley cat before the decisive move, before tearing his victim to pieces. She couldn’t make heads or tails of him and his constant mood swings. One minute he was stomping past her, enraged, and in the next he was a true gentleman, sympathetic in the extreme. A vague feeling urged her to get away from him, on the double.

“Thanks, John.” After a brief, loaded pause in which he remained silent, she added: “For everything.” His eyes never left her – he continued to regard her without a word.

Ally wanted to give him a kiss goodbye on the cheek, but before she knew it, his lips were pressed against hers, warm and soft. Too surprised to resist, she granted him this. Or was it the wish do just this, something she’d wanted to do since she first saw him again, that rose up to meet his touch? The desire to be held in his arms? Her lips parted and, tentatively, she returned the kiss.

As a schoolgirl she’d imagined being kissed by him like this. She’d never been able to demonstrate her feelings this way. Chaste pecks, tenderly touching hands – she hadn’t permitted things to go any further. But this kiss was more than she’d ever dreamed of. Her heart beat so rapidly, she started to worry it would leap from her chest. The reality exceeded all her fantasies.

But just a second later, John pulled back and she could see in his eyes that he hadn’t been nearly as overcome as she had been. He seemed composed, as though this had been just a test. A test to see how easy she was? Who knew how many lips he’d kissed before this moment? For him, it was presumably nothing special. Was he just looking to see how little Ally reacted to his gesture? It was suddenly embarrassing to have yielded to him so readily. “Bye,” she breathed, mortified, and blindly tumbled from the car.

John was beside her before she could pull her keys from her much-too-short shorts.

“Go on – go home. You’re not going to get an invitation up from me.” She tried to scare him off with hard words, but he stood next to her, without expression – not moving a muscle – looking at her with those blue eyes of his. Had he become some kind of psychopath in the years she’d been away? Maybe she should be scared of him? No – not John. Even when he didn’t have feelings for her anymore, seeing her again had surely not been easy.

Fine – he could stay right there, for all she cared; she certainly wasn’t going to ask him up to the dump she called home at the moment. Just the thought of this successful man in her grubby place dismayed her. Besides a mattress and a suitcase, there was nothing in the room. There was a shared bathroom that she only used when she absolutely had to. She’d been able to shower at Alexej’s and avoid using the hell-hole until now. But she had to sleep somewhere and the rent was cheap. And no one asked who she was, as long as she handed over the cash every Monday.

She pressed her shoulder into the door, which tended to jam, and almost fell inside, John at her heels. “You don’t have to see me up,” she said, trying to brush him off.

His eyes swept over the foyer, scanning everything, pausing at the sight of the used needles on the floor, and then met hers directly. Finally, he broke his silence. “Listen, Ally, I’m going to come up with you just as long as it takes for you to get your stuff. You’re coming back to my place. I can’t let you live in this drug den a second longer. I owe it to your father.”

For a brief moment, the memory of a mild summer evening flitted through her mind. It was then that John had told Ally about his mother, who had been a junkie and ultimately died of an overdose. Ally knew that this place must remind him of his hard childhood. “John, I can take care of myself. Don’t worry about me,” she said, trying to appease him in a quiet voice. “I’m moving out tomorrow. I can’t hide here anymore. Something else will turn up.”

“Get you things, right now.” His rough tone gave her a start. Ally knew then that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. She knew without a doubt that he would carry her out, if he had to – she still knew him well enough to know that. She didn’t want it to come to that.

“Okay, John. For old times’ sake. But tomorrow I’ll find a new place.” His only answer was a slight release of breath from his tense lips. He was too pent-up with emotion to speak.

Chapter 8

John

He didn’t think anything could surprise him anymore, but as his lips touched hers, something happened to him, like a catapult let loose inside his chest. In a second he was a slave to her again, hardly capable of thinking in a straight line. In order not to lose his senses completely, he pulled back, distanced himself. He watched as she got out and then followed her, in a haze. Why had he done that? Was he completely nuts? He didn’t want to start anything with her and yet he’d kissed her. It had actually been more of a test than anything. How far would she go? Did her lips still taste as sweet as they had years ago? Yes, and sweeter – much sweeter! Long ago he would never have dared to kiss her like that.

Motionless, he watched as she opened the door. He kept a calm exterior, but he was seething inside. He was about ready to flip out. She seriously thought that he would turn around and leave her in this hole! The syringes on the floor shocked him, even though it was nothing new for him. Was she on drugs? Did she earn money the same way his mother had, way back when? But no matter what she was doing, he wanted to help her and her unborn child, for Christ’s sake – whether she wanted him to or not.

There was a dirty mattress on the floor. She didn’t even have a blanket or a pillow. Her suitcase lay next to the makeshift bed. All in all, it was an alarming site. It proved how close she was to getting up and leaving again. Always on the run from any risk. No wonder she’d reacted to his penthouse with such wide eyes. Here, there was nothing – no refrigerator, no bathroom, no toilet. Nothing, nothing at all, except this infested mattress and her suitcase!

With flushed cheeks that bespoke her shame, Ally closed her suitcase and turned to him. “Done.”

What should he say to that? Sadly, he nodded at her and extended a hand to take what little Ally called her own. Without much effort, he carried all her worldly belongings down the two flights of stairs.

***

They drove back in silence, each occupied with their own thoughts and feeling no need to speak. Doubtless, Ally was hatching another escape plan. John did not think for one minute that she would simply accept help all of a sudden. On the other hand, he wasn’t going to be played for a fool. He was still working things out and was grateful not to speak. He doubted he would’ve been able to get in a sensible word, anyway. To pull himself together, he put a CD in the player and sent a bass line thudding through the car, soothing his tattered nerves.

At home, back on known territory, he calmed down and found his cool again. “This is the guest room. Go ahead and try it out for a bit – I’ll bet you’re tired. I can tell.” The small suitcase was light in his hand. But he could see from the way Ally’s gaze kept falling on it that there was more in it than met the eye. Carefully, he laid it on the table and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Before dropping into bed himself, he activated the alarm system, as usual.

For a long while, he lay awake, thinking of the move that he’d pulled on her in the car. But had he really – imposed on her? No – it wasn’t like that. She hadn’t recoiled from him – not only had she not pulled back, but she’d returned his kiss. A smile spread across his face. Just thinking of that moment made him smolder again, that feeling that only Ally aroused in him. Still, when she really did earn money the way he thought she did, then a kiss didn’t mean a thing to her.

***

John was yanked from slumber by a penetrant sound. Glaring sunlight had found its way into the room, for he’d forgotten to close the blinds. He had the feeling he’d only slept an hour, which turned out to be the case – the numbers mocked him from the face of the alarm clock. Groaning, he pulled himself up and shuffled to the hallway. The alarm system was going off. He frowned with irritation, having a suspicion who was responsible for this infernal racket.

His suspicion was immediately confirmed. Ally stood, red-faced, at the elevator, pressing the button urgently. She held the small suitcase in her left hand. She had changed, now wearing jeans and a tee shirt. Her dark locks were pulled back into a ponytail that, at the moment, was bouncing up and down. She almost looked like she had in those bygone days and this tugged at his heart, seeing exactly what he had lost.

Adopting a relaxed pose, he leaned back against the wall, folded his arms, and watched her, amused. She certainly had spirit. And she swore in her native language, just like her father. The memory pained him, but he collected himself and focussed on this furious woman before him.

Something gave him away – he didn’t know what, but she turned and came at him with glittering eyes. Enraged, she pushed her finger at his chest. “John Dempsey, I am not your prisoner. Let me out of here!”

“Honey, you could have asked, instead of blowing the alarm system.” He arched an eyebrow and looked down at her without moving a muscle. He couldn’t hide his smile, even though he knew he’d be in for it.

“I didn’t ‘blow’ anything. Get me out of here.” She yelled the last words.

This couldn’t go on. She had to realize, once and for all, that he was no enemy of hers. Resolutely, he pushed himself off of the wall and went to the control panel. “Whether you like it or not, from now on, I’m taking care of you. This afternoon we’ll visit my lawyer and start getting everything settled.” With one smooth movement, he deactivated the alarm system. For a moment, it was quiet again. Ally breathed and he could make out relief on her beautiful face.

“What do you want with a lawyer?” She asked, skeptical.

“We’ll need a contract drawn up to put everything in place. The inheritance, the wedding – everything.”

She looked at him like he’d lost his mind, an expression of total disbelief. “You’re not serious, are you?”

Totally cool, he folded his arms again and regarded her. “I’m serious. I’m going to change and then we’ll be on our way.”

“Wait a minute, John, you want to get married? To whom?” He could see in her face that she still didn’t want to see what was best for her.

“You, of course! Who else?” Annoyed, he turned and went into his office. He could care less if she followed him or not. Sooner or later, she’d come to terms with it. He’d thought about it incessantly and it was the best for all involved, the most sensible solution. Ally could do what she wanted, as long as he knew where she was. He had to know that she was safe and sound – only then would he find peace himself. If at some point she met someone else, he wouldn’t stand in the way of a divorce. She’d finally be in a good place, with her father’s inheritance, and could turn to other matters.

Was it really so simple? John didn’t actually know, but the future would hold the answer.

He brought his phone to his ear and ordered a full breakfast spread before disappearing into the bathroom. Ally still stood in the entryway, not saying a word and staring after him in bewilderment. Finally he’d managed to make her hold her tongue. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning as the hot water ran over his skin.

Chapter 9

Ally

Totally perplexed, Ally stood in the elegant apartment’s foyer. She didn’t understand anything anymore. John wanted to marry her? Hadn’t he forgotten something essential? For a wedding, you needed a proposal. And love – unconditional love from both sides. What was going on with him? Had he taken some kind of drug? No longer capable of contradicting him, she simply watched after him as he disappeared into the office. Once he’d phoned Adam, he walked past her again and went into the bathroom. As she heard the water being turned on, she resisted the images slipping into her head – water pearling on naked skin, his muscular upper body. No, no – she wouldn’t let him get to her like this. She would not go running after him. Hastily, she pulled her thoughts in another direction.

She didn’t dare a second attempt at escaping the penthouse. Instead, she set a course, as though her feet steered themselves, into the room with the dining table. She flopped into one of the chairs, set the suitcase down next to it, and rested her cheek on her forearm. Thoughts swirled through her head so wildly, she felt dizzy and, since she hadn’t had a wink of sleep the night before, sleeplessness just added to the feeling.

She was awoken by the sound of someone clearing their throat. “Excuse me, miss; I was going to serve breakfast,” the young woman in a maid’s uniform explained.

“Oh! Yes, of course. I must’ve fallen asleep.” Embarrassed, she swept her hair out of her face, but the blond didn’t take any further notice of her and simply set the table.

The way the server acted, so casually, made Ally wonder if John frequently had female guests for breakfast. A feeling of jealousy pervaded her. She tried energetically to shake it off by grabbing for a croissant and pouring herself a big cup of coffee with milk. Then she picked at the delicacy listlessly without eating a bite. The pale brown liquid in the cup helped her wake up a bit.

Why did he want to marry her? Did it have something to do with her father’s inheritance? Feverishly, she considered her next move. She’d never been the type of person to forget her morals for money. But now she developed a plan that was completely unlike her. No – it even gave her the beginnings of a stomachache.  But she dismissed her misgivings; after all, she wanted a future, a goal, something worth fighting for. For that, she would put her friendship with John on the line. Was that even the word for what she had with John now?

She really should have cared less. Her survival depended on it. If her plan worked, she’d never have to go hungry again. Ally ignored her guilty conscience and bit into the first croissant she’d had since going into hiding – and became aware of a guitar solo coming from the other room. She was sure it was John playing. As a young girl she’d listened to him raptly, thinking even then that he must be one of the greatest guitarists in the world. Granted, her view – or rather, her hearing – had been clouded by puppy love, but now, that was no longer the case. With eyes closed, she enjoyed the quiet chords that penetrated to her very soul.

***

The feeling of being out of place nagged at Ally. She didn’t fit in here, in this fine office, wearing jeans and a tee shirt. John wore slacks and a button-down without a tie and looked so appealing, the secretary’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.

“Hello, Mr. Dempsey – nice to see you again,” she breathed at him, stopping just short of drooling. The smile that John gave the woman didn’t reach his eyes, however. This observation made Ally feel better at the same time that her relief irritated her. “You can go right through to Mr. Hodgkin. He’s ready for you.” She made such a show of her eye-twinkling, Ally actually groaned involuntarily.

“Thank you, Coleen.” With an iron grip on her upper arm, John pulled Ally into the lawyer’s quarters. She wanted to cry out as she saw the face of the older man who stood up from behind his desk and approached them both. He regarded her with eyes large with shock. She jerked to a standstill and a shiver went through her body.

“Allison Galletti!” he exclaimed with tears in his eyes. Her throat closed with emotion as she recognized him.

“Uncle Lilo! My god, I didn’t know you were going by a new name.” She sank into his embrace, which his thick midsection hampered, but she barely noticed. This man was an old friend of her father’s – she’d thought she’d never see him again. Neither could hold back their tears any longer and they stayed in each other’s arms for a long moment. It had been years since Ally had felt so safe. His aftershave reminded her of her father’s and aroused emotions in her that she’d held at bay for years. Memories besieged her and almost sent her reeling. She sniffled like a little girl as the older man released her. With an enormous paw, he caressed her cheek in a fatherly gesture, while John pressed a tissue into each of their hands.

“I never thought I’d see you again, kiddo. In my mind’s eye, I pictured the most horrific scenarios when I learned what had happened. There are a lot of bad things that can happen to a young lady out there. At times I almost wished you’d died, too, so you didn’t have to keep going through hell on earth. But John and I never stopped looking for you.” He blew his nose loudly and Ally’s gaze flickered to John, who was watching her. His expression was inscrutable and, not for the first time, she wished she could see what was going on inside him.

“Uncle Lilo, I had to go into hiding. I knew it was my only chance at survival. And I wanted to live!” Shaken, she fell into one of the cushy chairs. “Besides, anyone I came into contact with was in danger. Disappearing was the right – the only – decision.”

“I went under the radar too, for a few months – I used my wife’s name. At some point I gathered the courage to return to my old life and recognized that I wasn’t in danger any more.” He sat down, too. John stayed in the background until Hodgkin turned to him. “Man, now I understand why you didn’t tell me over the phone what the deal was. I wouldn’t even have believed you.”

Slowly, John approached their chairs and sat down next to Ally, laying a tender hand on her shoulder. “I thought as much. And I also didn’t want to mention it on the phone because I didn’t know how you would react.” He added, in a subdued tone: “But I need to ask you for your professional opinion.”

Intrigued, the lawyer straightened and adjusted his glasses on his nose. At once, he no longer seemed like the mild-mannered uncle from next door, but radiated an aura of authority that Ally didn’t know he had in him. “I’m all ears.”

“Ally and I want to get married, so, for the occasion, I want to transfer her family’s inheritance to her. We want to draw up a prenuptial agreement and get everything in writing. You’ll have to advise us about what all will go in it. Sound good?” John finished with the simple question.

The little man’s face broke out in a wide smile – it almost looked like paternal pride. “By all means. It’s something Calogero always wanted.” When he saw the confused expressions on John and Ally’s faces, he added: “It was his wish that you’d marry someday. It’s just that the timing wasn’t right, when you asked for her hand when you did. Calogero never wanted you to go, John. All he wanted was for you two to be absolutely sure and, pardon me for saying so, but – you were too young then.”

Ally threw John a glance – he was visibly surprised by this explanation. And she herself? She felt a wave of sorrow as she realized how readily she and John had abandoned their chance at happiness. Her eyes stole to him and saw that he, too, was thrown for a loop by this development.

“So, what’s the date? I mean, for the wedding.” Lilo pulled a pen out and made to write notes.

“I’ll try to pin down a date today. It should be as soon as possible.” And then he let the bomb drop. “Ally is pregnant,” he explained in a low voice, just as though he were the father of the unborn child. What was the big idea? Ally wondered. Why say something like that?

“How long have you two been back together? Why did you wait until today to bring her over?” But then Lilo pulled himself together and stopped this line of questioning. He congratulated them on the coming birth. Of course he must have assumed that it was John’s baby. Why should he doubt it? The purported father did nothing to disabuse him of this notion. And the soon-to-be mother sat in silence, staring from one man to the other.

Ally was baffled but then finally realized why John wanted to marry her. He was convinced that, if he didn’t, she would be left penniless and a single mother. It wasn’t about her, at all – he just didn’t want the child to experience what he had gone through. This realization hurt; she had to swallow hard to stomach it.

Really, she wanted to set the record straight, but it would have destroyed her plan for building a better future. For the first time in her life, she placed her own happiness above someone else’s – and kept quiet. But the gesture affected her deeply. John wanted to give this child his name, a child he knew not the first thing about. This spoke volumes about a man who had once had her heart – who would always have her heart.

Chapter 10

John

He had lied to his lawyer and good friend. Essentially – or, then again, maybe not. He simply hadn’t told the whole truth, had let him believe that John was the father of the unborn baby. Nobody would learn of Ally’s shame. John wanted to help her, to make it possible for her to live without being judged in other’s eyes. And her kid shouldn’t have to endure teasing for growing up without a father. And she shouldn’t have to do things that no respectable woman would do.

They had been friends and would be again. Like in the old days, before they had professed their love to each other – he hadn’t wanted anything more, although his body had obviously had a different opinion. Now, with her sitting so close to him in the car, her scent perceptible, he broke into a light sweat. The effort it took not to touch her was taking a toll on him. When he had seen how she’d been overwhelmed by emotion in being reunited with Lilo, he would have liked nothing better than to take her in his arms.

They drove by a series of shop windows on the right side of the street and he had a sudden flash of inspiration. He turned into the underground garage of the large mall. “We need a couple things,” was all he said. Ally didn’t answer, didn’t break her silence, only nodded. She didn’t seem angry, but she wasn’t happy, either. He had to cheer her up somehow.

They got a parking place right at the elevator. Without hesitating, John reached behind the seat, coming so close to Ally that he could hear her sharp intake of breath. The air in the car seemed to vibrate.

“What are you doing?” she asked, almost in panic.

“I need my disguise.” The glasses and baseball cap made her laugh and he was pleased to see her at least slightly more relaxed. Her laugh had always enchanted him. “And now we’re going shopping.”

Ally looked at him skeptically, but he jumped from the car before she could voice objection.

“What do you want to buy?” She asked, as he held the car door open for her. He detected real curiosity in her voice. But he let her wait for an answer. A short walk brought them from the elevator to one of the shops.

“Get everything you need – make-up, clothes, new throw pillows – anything you need feel at home in your room. You’re going to be with me for a while.” He winked at her and was surprised to feel how pleased he was to have her in his life. Someone to welcome him home, someone to share meals with. It was the first time he’d really noticed how solitary his life had become since the Centerstarks had split up.

She reacted differently than he’d hoped; she came to an abrupt standstill. “John, I don’t need anything.”

“Then will buy things you don’t need, but you’ve got to like them. Come on, Ally.” She shook her pretty, dark head, making her ponytail whip back and forth. “Please,” he said, gently and just loud enough for her to hear. When he tilted his head and looked at her with big eyes, he saw how her hard exterior began to crack.

“Fine, but only a couple things,” she relented finally. He was quietly jubilant inside.

Together they strolled past the shop windows of the Manhattan Mall. For four years she’d had to hang on to every dollar and he wanted so badly to see her happy now. Before then, she’d come here often, sometimes with him, he remembered, and usually gone home with armfuls of bags and boxes. She’d never had to watch her spending them – her father had given her free rein, no skin off his back.

They stopped in front of one of the shop windows and looked at a sweet summer dress. “Come on, Ally, try it on!” He encouraged her. “If you want, I’ll wait out here.”

She smiled again, totally at ease. “No, you don’t have to.”

***

Laughing and carrying scads of bads, they made their way back to the car. After Ally had picked out a couple reasonably priced articles of clothing, he had stopped short in front of a hair salon, watching as her eyes widened in surprise. Without listening to her protestations, he’d pushed her in and, luckily, one of the hairdressers had an open chair. Ally hesitated at first, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Ultimately, she gave in to the salon’s entire line-up of pampering and primping while John pulled out his iPad and read the news.

Now, a half hour later, she seemed so happy, it made his heart open up to her a little more. Not that it mattered – she’d already had a place there.

“Thank you, John,” Ally said as she got into the car. “I haven’t had an afternoon like that in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about spending money – it’s just that I couldn’t bring myself to make friends while I was in hiding. The last four years, I’ve been alone. And I haven’t laughed like that in ages.”

Before he turned the key in the ignition, he turned to her once more, laying a hand on her cheek. “Then it’s time that changed. Your laugh is much too wonderful to hide behind a stubborn facade.” As she looked at him with her chocolate-brown eyes, his mouth went dry. He swallowed hard a couple times, to no avail; he turned away from her, started the car, and drove away.

For once he was glad the city traffic demanded his undivided attention, distracting him completely. Ally was quiet, too, but, when he looked over at her, he had to smile: she had fallen asleep. Her forehead was pressed up against the window, her lips parted slightly.

He slowed to enter the underground garage of his apartment building, located right on Central Park. As he parked, however, she woke. “What are you hungry for? Pickles or ice cream?” he joked, but instead of laughing, a shadow crossed her face. “Hey, I didn’t mean to annoy you, Ally.”

She shook her head and answered: “No, that’s not it. I’m just a little overwhelmed. Yesterday I hadn’t had anything to eat for days. Today you want me to just say the word and I can have anything I want on a silver platter. Shopping, the lap of luxury – it’s a lot to take in,” she admitted.

He could understand that. He remembered feeling the same thing right after Ally’s father had picked him up off the street. Hunger used to make him half crazy, then suddenly he found himself standing in the Gallettis’ house, his eyes popping out of his head. John had never seen luxury like that, except of course in the Hollywood flicks he’d seen. Ally knew this lifestyle from the past, even if she’d temporarily forgotten how to live that way.

“All right, then tonight we’ll eat hot dogs.” She giggled but waved him away at the same time.

“No, don’t worry about it. I’d rather have a nice lasagna. Your chef seems to have a real touch for Italian dishes.”

“Oh, yeah, that he does,” he answered and carried the bags to her room. “I have to finish a little bit of work in the office – meet me in the dining room after?” he asked. As he was turning to leave, she shifted directly in front of him all of a sudden. He could feel the heat of her body, but she took a step back before he could be tempted to embrace her in another kiss.

“Okay, later,” Ally stammered, her cheeks blushing pink.

He hurried into his office, fell into his chair, and ran a hand over his face. What was up with him? Obviously, it had been too long since he’d slept with a woman. That could be a good thing in the coming weeks: Him, alone with the voluptuous Ally, here in the apartment. He’d have to basically keep a cold shower running the whole time.

In order to distract himself, he grabbed for the phone and called his assistant. Carl would make all the arrangements for the wedding. At least there was one thing he could cross off his to-do list. Then, Ally needed a prenatal appointment – that baby would have it all, just as though it were his kid. He wanted to take care of both of them until the day she found someone else, someone who would take on the duty himself. The marriage he was planning was just for show, something to mark the passing of these last hard years. It wasn’t about love – not for him, anyway.

Ally needed a new beginning, to be able to choose for herself what she wanted the rest of her life to look like. So why was it so difficult to think of her moving on some day? He had to accept that she wasn’t his Ally anymore, that she never would be.

Next, he called Graciella – she deserved to know what had been happening. He owed it to her.

Chapter 11

Ally

The thought of lasagna had evidently clouded her better judgment. Why else had she been drawn in like a moth to flame? It wasn’t until she was standing directly in front of him and he was looking down at her that she came to her senses again. Just like in days past, he had a magnetism that she could only resist with sheer willpower.

She took a step back and stammered: “Okay, later.” How embarrassing!

Once he left the room, she lay down on the bed and let her thoughts roam. She was now officially pregnant. By whom? It didn’t matter – if someone asked, she’d just say it had been a one-night stand. That’s probably what John was thinking already. Every bone in her body resisted this tall tale, but when she wanted to see her plan through, she had to swallow her pride and take the good with the bad. She just hoped that the wedding would take place soon, before someone noticed that he belly wasn’t exactly swelling. There was bound to come a moment when she’d have to tell John the truth. Pretending she had a miscarriage was out of the question – that would be going too far.

She hated lying. It went against everything she’d learned – internalized – in the convent school. Her inner voice cried out in protest, saying John didn’t deserve to be treated this way. But the memory of hunger, fear, and not having a roof over her head gave her the mettle to do it – she had to, if she wanted her inheritance.

Once she had solidified her plan, she felt calmer and started unpacking the shopping bags. After she’d stowed everything away in the dresser, she took the newly purchased bubble bath into the bathroom.

Soon, the heavenly scent of fresh flowers and honey filled the room and she stepped into the hot water. When was the last time she’d had a bath? She could hardly remember. With a sigh, she let her head fall back against the back of the tub and gave in to the feeling.

***

Feeling as fit as a fiddle, she traversed John’s apartment barefoot when the time came for dinner. That bath had been exactly what she’d needed. In the next moment, however, she stood rooted to the spot, listening to John’s furious voice echoing from the dining room and down the hall. His tone was outraged, threatening. Ally got goosebumps.

“No way. I said this has no place here in the months to come. Throw it away or take it home with you.” Bewildered, Ally entered the well lit room.

The young server hurried past her, a wedge of cheese in her hand, tears filling her eyes. Ally looked at John, wondering what on earth was going on. He hadn’t noticed her yet. He stood at the window, radiating an anger that she recognized from years ago – the anger that came to light when something rubbed him the wrong way. She remembered it well; he’d often reacted that way, especially when he’d first arrived in their house.

Gingerly, she laid a hand on his shoulder. “Everything okay, John?”

As soon as he heard her voice, he relaxed visibly and turned to her. So close to him, she couldn’t help herself – and leaned a cheek against his chest. John’s heart pounded against it like a wild animal. After a moment, she felt strong arms wrap around her tenderly, like a pair of wings. They stood there for a long moment, not daring to move a muscle, not wanting to rend this new connection. But at some point the chef came in to serve the meal; they pulled away from one another cautiously then and sat down at the table. Ally could hardly bring herself to meet his eyes for fear the emotions welling up inside her were all too visible. She barely looked up at him as she asked: “Why were you so mad at that woman?”

He let out an indistinct growl, but then answered: “The cheese!”

Still confused, she looked up at him. “What was with the cheese? Was it moldy?”

He let out a snort. “No, but as long as you’re pregnant, I don’t even want raw-milk cheese so much as stored in the fridge. I can’t have anything happening to this baby – I’d never forgive myself. I expressly told the kitchen staff that we can only eat what’s suitable for a pregnant woman. And then they went and brought that stuff out!”

“So I can’t have raw-milk cheese?” She asked with amusement.

Furious, he narrowed his eyes at her. “Definitely not! Raw-milk cheese can carry listeria, which is dangerous for the fetus.”

“And how do you know all this?” She wanted to know.

He looked at Ally indignantly, clearly wondering at how irresponsible she was, knowing so little about the potential risks to her child. She should probably do a little reading on the subject before this drama spun out of control. “I looked into it. You should, too. Tomorrow morning we’ll go the doctor and see how the little one is doing. I already made an appointment for you. And then we’ll take every brochure they have, so that we’re informed and nothing goes wrong.”

She stared at him, speechless. What could possibly go wrong? Except maybe that it would turn out at the doctor’s that she wasn’t pregnant at all – and John would totally fly off the handle. The thought of the next morning’s appointment made her feel a cold fear.

“Don’t look at me like that. You have to get things straightened out, make sure the kid’s okay. Like, regularly. I was just doing some research on the internet – everyone’s going to think it’s my baby, after all. I want to make everything right. Now eat your lasagna.” Irritated, he stabbed at the cheesy crust of the noodle dish.

Ally felt a rush of warmth that robbed her of her breath for a moment. John’s concern touched her but, at the same time, caused her deep sadness. If she did tell him the truth at some point, it would surely destroy their friendship.

***

The next morning she was queasy with anticipation. She didn’t get a single bite down at breakfast. But she had a good excuse for that, at least, and used it. This charade about being pregnant had to be good for something.

Ally had a deep fear of the gynecologist. Actually, she’d never been to see one. When she’d still lived with her parents, she’d been too young and then, later, she simply hadn’t had the money for it.

John was grouchy. He answered only in monosyllables when she inquired something of him and then sank back down behind his newspaper. She should have been pleased – she wasn’t in the mood for conversation, anyway.

Ally rose to retrieve her jacket. “I’ll go get ready.” John didn’t even look up from what he was reading, just as though they’d already been married for twenty years. This rankled her, but she held her tongue.

Feverishly, she considered her options for getting out of this mess, but she couldn’t think of a good excuse. Should she tell him right now that it had been a false alarm? That she’d made a mistake – wasn’t pregnant after all?

Still mired in these brooding thoughts, she accompanied John to the doctor’s office and sat in the waiting room. He didn’t speak a word. Did he already suspect that she’d been lying?

“Allison?”

She sprang up, hastily. “Yes.”

“Come back, please,” came the answer from the nurse. “You’ll wait here, Mr. Galletti,” she added as John leaped up to follow them. Ally couldn’t disguise her amusement and even giggled a little as the nurse gave John a stern look that made him take his seat again immediately.

“Good morning, Miss Galletti. What brings you here today?” The woman behind the desk seemed friendly and distant, at the same time.

For Allison, the prospect of this conversation was deeply embarrassing. She’d never been to a gynecologist, after all, and found it almost unbearable now. “Um, so, my boyfriend and I want to get married. I wanted to get checked out and make sure everything was okay,” she stammered. Her cheeks pulsated with fresh heat. Great, now she must look like a regular tomato.

Doctor Collins asked when her last period had been and if she had any issues. Then Ally had to undress and lie on the examination table. With closed eyes, she seized the edge of the table as though being bound to an instrument of torture.

***

Her knees were weak as she left the exam room. For here, there was nothing more embarrassing than this scenario that had just played out. Why was it necessary to get a check-up down there, anyway? Yes, if she’d been pregnant, then she couldn’t understood it. But like this? It was just... awful. She still felt as though her face were fire-engine red.

John jumped up from his chair and hurried to her. He found her hand tenderly and gave her a searching look. “Everything okay?” He’d probably misinterpreted the distraught look on her face! 

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” But she realized with a sick jolt that the OB-GYN was standing right behind her. Not this! Now her plan would fall apart completely – surely John would pepper the doctor with all manner of questions about the pregnancy.

“So this is the groom then?” Asked Doctor Collins at that very moment.

“Yes,” answered John, extending his hand.

Ally could see the precise moment when John’s charms hit the doctor full-on. It was like a bomb had been detonated. She looked at him with huge eyes, as though she were a deer in the headlights of an approaching truck. “Yes... Well... Congratulations for the wedding.”

John turned the full brilliance of his smile on her as though he knew exactly what he was doing. The young doctor was very attractive, which threw Ally a little off balance. She was tall, slim, and blond – exactly the opposite of her stature and Italian complexion. “Thanks so much, Doctor. If anything comes up with the baby, we’ll give you a call.”

“Yes. I’m sure you’ll have beautiful children.” If the situation hadn’t been as it was, Ally would have laughed herself silly. The doctor’s cool demeanor had vanished; she was so busy batting her eyelashes at John, it was almost embarrassing. And John was openly enjoying the flirtation.

Soon after, they said their goodbyes and Ally left the practice with John, her heart throbbing wildly in her chest. It had gone well. But it wasn’t until they were safely back in the car that she began to breathe a little more easily.

Chapter 12

John

Really, it had just been fun: The gynecologist had responded to him the way Ally actually should. Ally?! What was he doing, thinking of her like that? He didn’t want anything with her. But she had given him the impression that she’d been jealous of the young doctor – at least, she’d been somehow more than just nervous while he’d been talking with Doctor Collins.

It wasn’t until they got to the car that Ally relaxed a bit and drew a deep breath. “Will you tell me a little about the examination?”

Her head shot up and her cheeks flushed a soft red. She remained silent, looking out the window.

“I mean, just the results. How far along are you? When is your due date? Could you see the baby’s heartbeat?” He had to admit it now – they were positively burning questions for him.

“Um, I’m at the end of the third month, almost fourth. I forgot the due date. They’ll tell me again, I’m sure. And, yeah, I saw a heartbeat.” While she rattled off these answers into her lap, she seemed almost angry, which irritated him. He’d always assumed that pregnant women liked to talk about their babies.

Was it because of who the father was? Who was he? Did she love him? Was there actually a man in her life? He had never asked her in so many words. What if she didn’t want to marry him at all? Had he even ever given her the chance to say no?

He decided to set the record straight immediately; he turned on the blinker and bore right. They were in a quiet side street where he soon found a parking spot.

“Why are you parking here?” She asked, curious.

“I want to clear something up,” he began. “Do you actually want to marry me?”

Ally giggled. “Wait, John, don’t you think maybe you’re doing things in the wrong order? First you make it a done deal and then you propose?”

Her gleeful chuckling enraged him. All he wanted was to make way for them to back down and not be mocked for it.

“This is no proposal, honey, just making sure we’re in agreement. Who’s the kid’s father?” Really, he could have cared less, but at the moment he was simply too angry and wanted to injure her in some way. “Do you love him?”

She stopped laughing as though a switch had been flipped. There was an anxious expression on her face. What’s the deal with this again? John wondered.

“I don’t know who it is. It was a meaningless one-night stand.” The soft words reverberated in the car. From her lowered gaze, he suspected that she felt ashamed. And she had every reason to be.

“You seriously had unprotected sex with a man you didn’t know?” he said in a tone that resonated deeply within his own eardrums. Feeling tremendous rage from deep within, he hit the steering wheel. He would have liked to pummel the scumbag who had done this to her.

“It’s none of your business,” she replied, quietly but with defiance – which only made him angrier.

“You’re right. What do I care? But in the future? I definitely give a damn. As long as we’re married, I’m asking you not to have sex with perfect strangers. Protected or not!” Even John could feel how ridiculous his outburst sounded, but there was nothing for it. He just needed to get some room to breath.

Ally, thank God, held her tongue, for John didn’t know how he would have reacted to any further evidence of spite. He probably would have ripped the car to pieces. Instead, he took a deep breath and put the car in drive. The tires squealed, leaving black marks on the pavement.

“And after that? Have you had unprotected sex with other men?” he asked, his voice dangerously quiet.

Huddled in her seat like a miserable animal, she shook her head, but there was a renewed look of defiance on her face. He was pulled in two directions. On the one hand, he wanted to comfort her, but on the other, he was still irate that she had put herself and her unborn child in such danger. Hadn’t she even heard of AIDS?

“Good, at least there’s that!”

***

So as not to do anything reckless, he ignored Ally once they returned to the penthouse. Let her do what she wanted. He couldn’t stand the sight of her right now.

Fuming at her and at himself, he stormed into his office. He hated losing control of himself like this. He hadn’t felt fury like this since his youth. And she was the only one responsible – only Ally. She drove him to say and do things that no one else on the planet could.

Beside himself with rage, he reached for the telephone. The number was on speed dial and as soon as the receptionist picked up, he bellowed into phone that he wanted to speak with Doctor Murphy immediately. He didn’t care how she took it; it didn’t matter to him.

“Murphy here. What can I do for you, Mr. Dempsey?”

“I need your help. A friend of mind had unprotected sex and needs to be tested for STIs. This all happened about twelve weeks ago. I need it to be totally discreet. Nobody can know about this. Understood?” He himself couldn’t help but notice how short his sentences were and how dictatorial he sounded,  but so be it. He couldn’t contain himself any better.

»“Ah, okay. Got it. A test for AIDS is conclusive when the sexual act took place at least three months ago, so twelve weeks is enough time. I’ll be at your place in a half hour with everything for it.”

That’s why he appreciated this doctor so much: he reacted quickly and didn’t annoy him with extraneous small talk.

Soon they’d know for sure. He prayed to god that Ally would come out of this without an infectious disease. No matter what mistakes she’d made in the past, she didn’t deserve that.

***

John locked himself in his room and listened to music at a menacing volume until the help told him Doctor Murphy had arrived. Ally still didn’t know anything about it and would probably be angry with him, but that didn’t matter now. It had been irresponsible of her to behave as she had. Not to mention the repercussions if the test came out positive.

As the elderly, white-haired man came in, John stood and strode toward him with his hand outstretched. “Hello, Doctor Murphy. Thanks so much for coming here on such short notice. Please, have a seat.” The comfortable couch in his office sagged a little under the doctor’s weight.

John took a seat in the easy chair across from him and got right to the point. “How long will it take to get the results?”

“Mr. Dempsey, the results of a test like this can come back after just a few days. It’s just a question of a little patience.” He regarded John with small eyes from behind thick spectacles.

“Good, then I’ll go get Miss Galletti.”

In just a few long strides, John was at Ally’s door, where he knocked briefly before entering, not waiting for her permission. She was lying on the bed and looked up at him with teary eyes.

Regret washed over him, but he couldn’t be soft with her now. Not after what she’d told him today. “Come with me,” he blurted. When she regarded him with confusion and didn’t move, he added: “I called my doctor here to give you a test.” Curt words that made her eyes open wide with shock.

She sat up weakly and he fought the desire to go to her and take her in his arms, tell her that he wanted her regardless and she didn’t need to be ashamed – everyone made mistakes. But he couldn’t get out of his own way.

“What kind of test?”

Her voice sounded so sad that he answered quietly: “An AIDS test, Ally. You have to know if you’ve contracted it.”

She looked at him with eyes huge and seemed as vulnerable as she had earlier, but she got to her feet decisively and followed him into the office.

Chapter 13

Ally

An AIDS test! This situation was slowly spinning out of control. Doctor Murphy was filling out a form that he meant to send in to the laboratory with the blood that he was about to draw from her – at least that’s how he explained it.

“Is it all right with you if I give the results to Mr. Dempsey in the event I can’t reach you?” As she consented, he noted her answer on the form and then approached her with his implements.

The needle prick didn’t hurt and, really, what did any of this matter to her? She hadn’t had unprotected sex, so the test could only be negative.

A short time later, the doctor took his leave from her and John. Ally felt spent. Now, her whole life was made of lies – how was she supposed to come out on top? Why didn’t she just tell John the truth? He would just transfer her father’s fortune to her, anyway. Or would he? When he first learned that she’d lied to him, he probably wouldn’t speak a word to her. The John she knew hated lies. In fact, she didn’t know if he would ever forgive her for it. In order not to wind up back out on the streets, she had no choice but to keep lying.

“If you’re hungry, tell the kitchen help. I’m going out tonight, so don’t wait for me.” His cool, empty expression was like a slap in the face. But Ally nodded and, without another word, went into her room.

She felt demoralized and rejected, but she wouldn’t deign to talk about her feelings with him right now. Sadly, she pulled the small, tattered suitcase from under the bed and opened it.

She was met by the sight of her family’s faces. Her eyes welled up with tears. Even after all these years, she still missed them so much it pained her. Would it ever stop? Would she ever find peace?

***

In the following days, she didn’t even catch sight of John once. Was he really that mad at her? Where was he? He could have at least let her know he was going somewhere on business. But since John had a large library of books and a DVD collection to rival it, she had enough to keep her busy. She also slept a lot, making up for years of too little sleep. The bed was dreamy – nothing like the dirty old mattress she’d slept on for the last four years. Of course, her fear of being found out, back then, had hardly been good for getting shut-eye. And the images of her slain family, which swam into her mind’s eye as soon as the lights were out, had always kept her awake, too.

Here in John’s apartment, she felt safe and her memories of the past began to fade a little. The food was wonderful – no matter what she asked for, the cook could prepare it for her. That was another luxury that she was enjoying to the fullest. That said, she only ate when hungry. Gluttony was a deadly sin, after all, and she did still believe in God, even when he hadn’t been exactly kind-hearted with her.

John had been gone for four days when she heard a gentle knock on her door.

“Yeah?” The book she was reading was suspenseful, but she was glad for a little distraction.

John stood in the doorframe, almost smiling; gone was the anger, the tension he’d shown when they’d last seen each other. “Hey, I’m back.”

Ally was so glad to see him, she would’ve liked to jump up and throw her arms around his neck. But a fear of being rejected made her hesitate. Or was it a fear of her own feelings? “Welcome back.” The smile she gave him came from the heart.

He stayed at the door. “Can I come in?”

“Of course!”

There were two easy chairs in front of an empty fireplace. John turned one of the chairs toward her so that he could look straight at her before speaking. “Doctor Murphy called me a little while ago.” He paused, watching her. “The test is negative. There’s no need to worry.”

“Ah, okay. Thanks.” What should she say to that? She’d known it already.

His brow was furrowed, revealing that he was a little confused about her reaction. “And I have a date for the wedding: we’ll marry on Friday.”

“Friday?” Her voice sounded too shrill. Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to her until this very moment what she was about to do. Up to this point, she’d always assumed she’d marry for love. With butterflies in her stomach and the prospect of a lovely, happy future with a man she worshipped. “But that’s in three days!”

“True. I thought it would be good to marry as soon as possible. Because of the pregnancy – so no one doubts our story.” She could see that he was perplexed.

“You’re right, of course. I was just wondering what I should wear. I mean, even if it’s just us, I still don’t want to go in jeans,” she joked.

“Oh, is that all? Come with me!” As though he’d been stung, he leaped up and held out his hand. Laughing, she took it and forgot her worries. After all, she thought to herself, she was allowed to have a little fun.

John pulled her into the elevator and before she knew it, they were in his convertible. “Where do you want to shop? Are you thinking a white dress?” Euphoria set in and Ally giggled like a little girl just thinking about it.

“An honest-to-God bride’s dress would be great, but, I mean, it’s a civil ceremony. But I do still want something white. Something simple, maybe with a little lace. Should we go back to the mall?”

“Done!” He said, smiling, and started the car.

***

It was a blast, really, Ally arm-in-arm with John, going from one shop window to the next. Suddenly she stopped short with a gasp.

“That’s it!” She said quietly, pointing to a dress.

“Good, then try it on.” Decisively, he pulled her with him into the shop. The shop girl stared at him dumbfounded as he pushed Ally towards her and said: “My fiancée would like to try on the dress in the window.”

“Yes... yes... okay.” She looked Ally up and down before disappearing into the back room, to return a short time later with three dresses over her arm. Two colleagues peered around the corner, gawking. “Just to be sure, I brought three sizes. Come with me, I’ll show you the dressing room.”

Before Ally followed her, she turned to John. “We’ll meet in twenty minutes by the fountain.” When he looked at her in confusion, she added: “Well, the groom can’t see the bride in her dress before the wedding! Even if it is only a dress for town hall.”

She meant the words in all earnestness – even if it wasn’t a real wedding, Ally wanted to preserve the illusion a little bit. She probably wouldn’t have any other weddings in her lifetime.

John gave her an impish smile that gave the butterflies in her stomach new energy, so that she followed the saleslady on weak knees.

“You and John Dempsey? Congratulations! How did you make that catch?” Oh no, the woman had recognized John! What should she say?

“John Dempsey? No, that’s not my fiancé’s name. But he’s still a great catch.” She winked at the young saleswoman and took the dresses into a dressing room. But Ally could see from the woman’s expression that she didn’t believe a word of it.

* * *

She felt rushed, wanting to tell John as soon as possible about what had just transpired in the store. But first, she had to do her best to keep up appearances so that the saleswoman didn’t get any ideas. She forced herself to try on the dress hastily. It looked fantastic on her, highlighting just the right areas on her thoroughly feminine figure. If she hadn’t been so caught up in her own thoughts, she would have enjoyed the sight a little longer, but this simply was not possible.

What should she do now? It was likely that the woman had already told her colleagues about John and they were on the hunt for him. It must be dreadful to live with such pressure. Somehow, she had to help him get out of this situation.

“I’ll take the dress,” she said in her most self-assured tone as she exited the dressing room and handed it to the saleslady.

“It’s a lovely piece. Too bad you didn’t show it to me. With your figure, it must look just out of sight.”

Ally didn’t really know how to handle this compliment. She seemed to be incapable of small talk, so she just uttered a “Thank you.”

Struggling to keep herself together, she paid for the dress with the card that John had given her earlier. Thank God it was one that didn’t have his name printed on it.

“All the best with Mr. Dempsey.” The blond winked at her conspiratorially, but Ally remained quiet while she entered the pin on the keypad. Swiftly, she took the bag and all but ran to the fountain.

She was breathless by the time she caught up with him there. He was standing alone at the appointed spot, looking at his phone, but raised his head suddenly as she neared, as though he knew instinctively that she was coming.

John knew before she’d even reached him that something wasn’t right. He wanted to know immediately if everything was okay and even walked towards her a couple paces. Her state of mind must have been written all over her face.

Chapter 14

John

For the last four days, he’d been in Los Angeles. A friend had invited him there to make some music. John had wanted to refuse – it was around the time he had finally found Ally again. But after she’d admitted the one-night-stand, it had become impossible to be around her. He was almost crazy with the idea that she might have contracted AIDS. The image of one of the slimy characters in these joints she worked in running his hands over her body was simply too much for him. John had to get some distance – from her, from her past, and from his own feelings. It wasn’t exactly great of him to leave her alone in that situation, but it occurred to him that it was the only thing to do, if he didn’t want to be completely undone by the entire situation.

He was already on the return trip when he received the news from Doctor Murphy with relief. He felt such a weight lifted from his shoulders, it must’ve sent shockwaves of joy all the way to New York. John swore to himself he’d be kinder to her. She’d been through a lot and hadn’t earned being treated badly just for this one slip-up. God knew how many mistakes he’d made over the course of his life – they must be countless.

There was one thing that still confused him. Why did she react so strangely to the negative test results? She remained totally relaxed, when he’d imagined she would be as hugely relieved as he was. And then her shocked face when he’d told her the wedding would be in three days, as though she didn’t want to marry him, after all. John felt compelled to ask her about it, but he’d promised himself he’d be nicer to her. That was his mantra now: Be nice to Ally. Be nice to Ally. Be nice to Ally.

With that in mind, he tried to help change her mindset a little. He could completely understand, for example, her desire to have a pretty dress for the wedding. He was all too willing to give her this relatively small gesture. Then she made him leave the shop so he wouldn’t see her in the dress before the event – that put his mind at ease a little. It showed that she wasn’t taking this whole idea of marrying him lightly. Whether he wanted to or not, he was taking it seriously, too. Ally had always had a special place in his heart. The more time John spent with her, the more space she took up there. Was that a smart move? John didn’t know, but, in this moment, he could care less.

His whole body reacted, the second he saw her. For one thing, the sight of her small, curvy figure took his breath away at every move. Perhaps one day, this fictitious relationship and the wedding that was really only good on paper would someday become a real marriage, the way they’d both imagined it back then.

...Hang on! Since when was he so sentimental? Was it because he’d spend Christmas with Darren and Elisa? His bandmate, the lead singer and, next to Adam, his best friend, had proposed to his girlfriend in front of guests. They had barely just met and yet were both sure that they belonged together. That had affected him deeply. The moment had been simply magical and John was pround to have been present for it.

Now it was up to him to decide – and if he was really sure of it, he had to convince Ally. If it weren’t for the last four years? There’d be no doubt. But they’d both changed.

***

John could see on her face that something was wrong.  It was the same expression that she’d had the night they’d reunited, like an animal being pursued. Who had she seen? What was she scared of – or whom?

“Hey, Ally, what’s up?” He kept his voice lowered to assuage some of her fear.

She pressed the bag with the dress to her chest like a protective shielf. “The saleslady recognized you,” she said, looking at him as though the world were about to end.

“So? What’s wrong with that? I get recognized a lot.” That was why she had fear written all over her face? He would have liked to have laughed, but his mantra wouldn’t allow him to.

“She figured out that we’re going to get married. You introduced me as your fiancée! I tried to tell her that she had you confused with someone else, but I don’t think she believed me.” Ally seemed despondent, but he couldn’t help but smile. “When the press gets wind of it, they’ll be on you like white on rice.”

“Oh, baby, it’s no big deal. Sooner or later, the whole world will know that we’ve gotten married.” John put his arm around her and took the bag.

“But I thought we were going to keep it secret! Now the paparazzi are going to make our lives hell,” said Ally, still turned toward him.

Without even thinking, he laid a hand on her cheek and sank into her eyes, eyes that, for a moment, revealed her very soul. Ally had let her guard down and he could see plainly that she was still that girl from years ago – the girl he’d fallen in love with. He’d never had such deep feelings for anyone, not until this moment. The emotion of it hit him like a freight train – it was only her eyes that helped keep him from losing his footing. She was his anchor, the source of his stability. He forgot everything around them and only saw her. Her mouth, slightly open, pulled him in and he could no longer resist. He bent his head to her and she didn’t move away. As their lips met, he knew that this woman belonged to him, had always belonged to him. She would convince her of it, whether she wanted to believe it or not.

Applause and lout catcalls brought John and Ally crashing back to reality. He opened his eyes to the sight of a crowd of people surrounding them, aiming their phones at him and Ally. Flashes blazed and the first ones were already pushing towards them waving pens and asking for autographs. He was familiar with this type of situations, but Ally was clearly overwhelmed.

He took her hand. She looked, horrified, at the mass of people and seemed paralysed. Together they ran to the underground garage. Instead of waiting for the elevator, they ran down the stairs. For a second he  let go of her hand, just as they arrived at the car, so that he could jump in and start it while she opened the passenger door and got in. With squealing tires they drove through the crowded streets of New York. His heartbeat didn’t slow until they were far from the mall.

A wild laugh escaped his throat. “Ally, that was like old times again!”

She looked at him, her arms crossed over her chest. “And that’s a good thing? Tomorrow there’ll be photos of us kissing splashed all over town.”

“I think it’s funny that this is how it all comes to light. At some point, it would have come out, anyway – why not today?” He winked at her and she relaxed visibly, even if she was still a little frosty. “Look at it like this: It was a wonderful kiss and now we’ll have any number of photos of it. And it wasn’t even staged!” At last, she smiled and, as she giggled, he was touched deeply by the feeling that, together, they could take on the world.

***

“Okay, my little bride. Do you have everything you need for the wedding now, or should I take you somewhere else?” He asked, shortly before they arrived back home. Home! Until today, he’d never thought of his penthouse apartment this way. His world had been turned upside down in just the past few minutes. Ally had turned it upside down! The kiss had truly shown him what was possible.

“John,” she began earnestly, “thank you for helping me, but...”

‘But’ – he felt this one word fracture something deep inside in him, even though it was something he’d felt coming, something she’d wanted to tell him for days now. He didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to have this little oasis of well being they’d managed to build up in the past few hours destroyed. What was breaking was the dream that he’d had as a young man, now so close to being fulfilled, until this word came – ‘but.’

“I don’t want a relationship with you.” The knife merely appeared to be made of words; it sank deep into his heart. He couldn’t answer her – didn’t want to. Without looking at her, he drove on. As though on automatic, he parked the car in the underground garade, went to his room, and shut the door on Ally and his dreams. Briefly, he was inspired to fight for her, but he extinguished this flame when he realized suddenly that he must be less important to her than the one-night-stand and this pregnancy.

It was time to be that John Dempsey he’d once been again, the indestructible Irishman. A hard shell and an even harder interior. How had he been dumb enough to believe that his life could ever have a happy ending?

Chapter 15

Ally

He had gazed at her so lovingly. His eyes had always had an extraordinary effect on her. They gave her security, warmth, somewhere to come home to.

He had lain his hand tenderly on her cheek and she’d sunk into that gaze – she had seen so much emotion there! Then, of their own accord, her lips had parted, as though she weren’t getting enough air, when really, every bone in her body was crying out for a kiss from this irresistible man. She had not pulled back. Why bother? This was everything she’d desired, everything she’d hoped for. As his lips had met hers, she’d had the feeling of falling, but he held her tightly in his arms. There had been so much feeling in this kiss that the sheer weight of it made tears form behind her lids.

She was nonetheless convinced she was doing the right thing when she decided to tell him she regretted the kiss. But there her thoughts ground to a halt. How was she supposed to find the right words for this situation? Her heart had begged her not to utter those words, but her brain was already forming the sentence that eventually left her lips: “I don’t want a relationship with you.”

Why had she said that? That’s not what she wanted! But it was probably better like this. They didn’t fit together anymore – they’d changed. Ally was just too small a number for big John Dempsey.

Anyway, he hadn’t said a word in response. His whole body had exuded such an intense rejection, she could almost touch it. Inside, she’d cried tears of bitter loss.

And now she lay here, on the bed in his guest room. She’d chased away the tears already, but her thoughts still turned around John. She’d never be able to keep up with him. Famous John Dempsey, guitarist for the Centerstarks – as soon as he entered a room, the women ogled him as though he were the Messiah himself. This type of scene had played out in earlier years, too, but she was dismayed to see that not only had nothing changed, it had become much more extreme.

There was also the fact that John seemed somehow dangerous and Ally knew that he was capable of violence. Genetically, he was made of tough stuff and his childhood had made him remote, at the time. Then he’d come to her family and her father, a New York mafia boss had further sculpted him into an even harder sort of character.

This air of dominance that he’d had to put on from early days in order to seem unassailable had eventually saturated his very flesh and blood. His very aura frightened off any potential assailant, but women were drawn to it. And who could blame her if she had the same response?

How was she supposed to vie for this man’s affections with half the female population of the planet? She simply didn’t want to, even when she felt pangs just thinking of hurting him, of letting him go. It just seemed that, at some point, he would be through with her, anyway – that he would leave her. She couldn’t bear that happening ever again. She’d lost him already years ago. It was too late now. But why did it hurt so much?

The whole night through she wracked her head about it and couldn’t get a wink of sleep. An urgent knocking startled her awake, but John didn’t even wait for permission to enter. No, he stormed her room like a warrior on a raid. His eyes flashed with rage and he hurled the morning’s newspaper at her feet.

“So, it’s official. The saleslady sang like a regular stool pigeon. New York – and the rest of the world, for that matter – everyone knows that we’re going to get hitched.” He stood by her bed, looking down at her with arms crossed. He looked as threatening as a wild bear that had been poked.

Her heart pounded in her throat and fear crept up the base of her skull. Before now, she’d never been afraid of John. The feeling irked her. “But it was obvious that this would happen. Yesterday you...” She got no further before he interrupted her gruffly.

“Yesterday I had a different opinion of you and this damned wedding.” Ally recognized sheer repugnance in his gaze. It hurt like hell. The pain was more devastating than if he’d physically struck her. “Listen to me. Everywhere I go, you will be there, too.” His furiously flashing eyes were fixed on her mouth. “And if I say we should kiss in public, you play along.”

Just the thought of kissing John again unleashed an earthquake in her, but she tried not to let on. The way things stood now, he was an opponent – and one not to be underestimated. “What will your female fans say to that? For sure it’ll drive a few groupies away.” She taunted him and stood up, refusing to back down so easily.

“What do I care about groupies?” He threw back vehemently.

“I guess your sex life hasn’t been as satisfying as it was in the last few years,” she countered.

Two strides and he was directly in front of her. She could see veins popping in his otherwise smooth forehead. Rage pulsed through his body with every beat of his heart. Had she gone too far?

“I don’t sleep with every woman just because they’re hot for me.” He spat each syllable at her. “The media might play it otherwise, but I am exceedingly picky.” His eyes travelled provocatively down her body so that she couldn’t help but reach for the covers and wrap them around herself. For that, she got a disparaging grin from him. He know he was stronger than she was.

“If you’re so picky, why should anyone believe that I, of all people, won you over?” She pushed her chin at him resolutely.

“I could care less.”

“And how long are we going to play at this charade?” Ally asked, a little quieter now.

“First, for as long as I have fun with it. Second, for as long as I think it’s necessary for you bastard child to pass as mine. I just hope the father wasn’t Asian or black. Not even the most gullible people would buy that.” With these words, he turned and left the room.

»Va al Diavolo!«, she screamed after him.

“Believe me, I’m not going to the devil, not even for you. Sleep well!” He called through the closed door.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks as she realized she’d lost a friend. What on earth had she done?

Chapter 16

John

A fury like none he’d ever experienced ran through his body. He hardly recognized himself for it. The last time he’d been even near this angry was in his youth – during his early years, he’d always been ready to tear into something.

He went into his room, grabbed his workout clothes, and headed for the spacious home gym he’d had installed in the apartment. Everything a fitness fanatic could want was here, even a pool and a sauna. His emotions were spinning so wildly, he had to work out, otherwise he’d lose control of the situation completely. A little physical exertion would do him good.

This little bitch really drove him crazy. His body just wanted to grab her and make an impression, but his higher reason was appalled by the very thought of pushing himself on her. Images of Ally naked and lolling on the bed under him, sweaty bodies rubbing against each other, lips whispering sweet words – it was too much for him. With trembling hands, he queued up a fast-paced techno mix. This was just the beat he needed to blow his fuses and reset.

Ally had made it clear to him that she didn’t want him. It had hurt his pride. She’d jumped into bed with a perfect stranger, let herself get knocked up, but she didn’t even want to entertain the thought of him as a partner.

The treadmill creaked under him as he ran at a pace that made the sweat run down his skin. This was all only helping to some extent; the lovely Italian was still in his head. But whenever she yielded a millimeter, he ran at a faster pace. He didn’t know how long he lasted, but at the end of the run, the blood was hammering through his body and his head felt about ready to pop.

He hadn’t been so spent since that day he, sixteen years old, was running for his life. Back then, Calogero Galletti’s bloodhound was at his heels after he’d filched the wrong wallet: he had stolen from the Boss himself, of all people.

It was the memories that ultimately affected him most. No matter how much injury Allison Galletti caused him, she was still the daughter of the man who’d rescued him from the mire of the New York City gutter. He could never let her fall – he’d watch over her for the sole reason that he felt gratitude towards her father. Which didn’t mean that he had to be friendly about it. His mantra ran through his mind briefly, but he buried the thought. So much had changed – too much.

The fitness room had its own shower facilities, which was a good thing, for the sweat was running off of him in rivulets. He showered until he could breath easily again. In the meantime, his anger had dissipated, replaced by disappointment. He was disappointed in Ally, in himself, in life itself. He urgently needed a new goal in life. The Centerstarks were history, he’d found Ally – what now?

He dimmed the lights and went into the hallway wearing just a towel around his hips. He was about halfway to his room when, who did he run into, but Ally herself.

Alarmed, she sucked in a breath and looked him up and down with eyes wide. In a tremulous voice she stammered, “Ex... ex... excuse me.” Her cheeks blushed a vivid red. She turned on her heel and went straight back into her room.

The grueling run was worth it for her reaction alone. With the smile of a man who knows his effect on women all too well, he went into his own bedroom.

***

In the following two days he tried to stay out of her way, but the apartment  – all 1300 square feet of it – just seemed too small for the two of them. Ally wouldn’t even deign to look at him and always hurried out of the room when they happened upon each other, but it was still enough to make his blood seethe – whether from rage or, usually, from pure lust. This lust became a sort of obsession. He even dreamed of her. Not even playing his guitar could quell his frustration.

On the morning of their wedding, Ally was sitting at the dining room table, a bowl of cereal in front of her, when he approached her. John had vowed, on this of all occasions, to act civilly. “Good morning, Allison.”

She avoided his eyes. “Hi.”

It made him somehow furious that she wouldn’t look at him; he would have liked to grab her by the shoulders and force her to meet his gaze. Instead, he sat down across from her and turned his attention to his own breakfast. She looked... simply enchanting. She’d already fixed her hair up and done her face tastefully but very fetchingly. It emphasized her eyes, which looked radiant, and her lips, which were tinted a lovely soft rose. The crowning touch to the look was her white bathrobe and slippers.

Her nose was stuck in a book, or rather, in the Kindle he’d bought on a whim a few months ago. Since he’d never been a big reader, he’d soon forgotten the device. And now Ally was making as though she were engrossed in something, although he could see that she wasn’t turning pages. Her finger hovered over the display without touching it.

But, today of all days, he wanted to be able to carry on a normal conversation with her, so he asked, “What are you reading?”

Caught out, she met his eyes, which was like a slap in the face for him. She could wrap him around her little finger with a single gaze. Her eyes were... He pulled himself together and listened for her answer. “A romance novel.”

Interesting – she read romance novels. Women who read such books tended to be at least a little romantic, but he couldn’t say he’d noticed that in Ally. Apart from the pretty dress she’d chosen for the wedding. “Oh, yeah? And what’s this romance novel called?” He asked, taking a sip of coffee.

She was silent for a moment but then answered: “Kiss Me, You Fool.” Suddenly, the tension between them was palpable and Ally’s eyes narrowed briefly. He would have loved to acquiesce to the title’s demand, but she added quickly: “It’s from a self-published author from Germany. She’s very successful there. I’ve already read a couple things of hers. I really like them. She’s easy to like.” When he didn’t reply, she explained futher: “Papa insisted I learn German and so that I don’t forget it all completely, I read German books now and then.”

“Who’s the author?” Did he really want to know? He was surprised to determine that in fact he did – he wanted to know more about the Allison Galletti she now was – wanted to know what moved her, what caught her attention, what she liked.

“Poppy J. Anderson.”

“That doesn’t sound very German!” He said and couldn’t help smiling.

“True, but it’s just a pseudonym,” she explained quickly. “In Germany, books with American or English authors must sell better. At least, that’s what I think is going on. Although I have read books by authors with German names.”

To keep the conversation going, he inquired further, although he could hardly follow the topic – the vision in front of him didn’t exactly ignite his intellect. “What are the names of the German authors? Maybe they’re names that sound a little bit English or American.”

Smiling, she shook her head. “Nope, not even a little. One is Karina Reiß – she writes thrillers and romance novels. Sounds very German, huh?” He nodded and continued observing her, fascinated, as she spoke so excitedly about the books she’d read. “Then there’s Andrea Bielfeldt, Sina  Müller, and Pea Jung – they all write romance novels. All really good writers. Maybe some day their books will be translated.” She looked so relaxed, talking about the books and their authors. It occurred to him how, in earlier years, she’d been an absolute bookworm.

“Huh. That’s really interesting. Nice that authors have such opportunities these days.” And he meant it, even if he was just carrying on to see her smile. When she did, it tore a huge hole in his heart, but he continued: “Adam from the Centerstarks has been writing books for a couple years. He totally throws himself into it. It was just this past Christmas he introduced me to this type of publication.”

“I think it’s great. You can really discover super authors. Is Adam planning on self-publishing his books? But I mean, with his name, any publishing house would bend over backwards to take him on.” Her eyes flashed with curiosity and he was pleased that they could converse so normally.

“I think he’s agonizing over the decision. The thing about him is he’s a total thinker. Before he gets involved with anything, he typically thinks it over so long that a decision no longer needs to be made – it becomes a moot point.” John had to laugh, thinking of his friend.

“He must be a very cautious kind of person, if he’s constantly weighing the positives and the negatives. That’s not a bad character trait.” He noticed how Ally relaxed even more, considering Adam. He noticed his hot temperament flare a bit as he felt a touch of jealousy, but he didn’t let on. After all, he’d introduced the topic and she was just inquisitive, eager for knowledge. No reason to be jealous.

But now they couldn’t be late, so he rose and put a hand on her shoulder. The warmth of her body sent an electric tingle down his spine. “Ally, we’re leaving in an hour and I have to get ready. Meet at eleven by the elevator. Okay?” She felt so good under his hand, but right now she was off limits to him. He had to expend a massive effort just to take his hand away. And the scent of her perfume, which permeated the entire apartment now, was not exactly conducive to getting her out of his head.

“Yeah, totally,” she said – and it seemed to him she, too, was breathless.

***

An hour later John stood at the elevator, waiting for Ally. His emotions ran contrary to the story he had in his head that this was all just for the benefit of Ally’s child – he was wound up and his hands began to sweat.

Damn it! Why was his cover being blown? He really wasn’t the romantic type, not one to be caught beneath his lover’s balcony, serenading her soulfully. Pull yourself together!

After what seemed an eternity, the door to Ally’s room opened – and his jaw literally dropped. All of his negative thoughts fled. She was breath-taking in the simple white dress, which had a bit of lace that highlighted her cleavage and a silken texture that clung to her hips’ every move. The lump in his throat grew larger when she smiled shyly. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms.

But he held back, just smiled and said: “You look nice.”

Saucily, she looked him up and down and murmured: “You, too,” which didn’t exactly help the situation.

Feeling entirely keyed-up, he let her get in the elevator first and then moved to stand directly behind her. The fragrance of her hair hit him full-force and he could feel the heat of her body on his chest. His hands twitched – it was all he could do to control himself.

Chapter 17

Ally

This was supposed to be it – the big day, the day she’d been looking forward to since she was a kid. John and Ally are marrying. It had been her dream for a long time, but, somehow, there were a couple things missing. Love – at least from John. Her family – above all, her Papa. The honeymoon trip – she’d always anticipated that with glee when she’d imagined marrying her John. In her dreams, it was the same occasion but totally different circumstances.

Ally turned before the mirror once more and was pleased with what she saw. The pretty dress was of ivory-colored lace and a cut that she could also wear to a reception. She’d done her hair up loosely and her make-up was modest. She took another deep breath and went out into the hallway, where John was already waiting for her by the elevator. His lips were parted a bit and there was a glimmer in his eyes as he returned her gaze. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw how she had affected him. The sight of it was priceless, a token of how she’d imagined it – how she’d wanted it.

Her entry into the elevator was hampered by the onset of weak knees, evidently made of pudding now, and an acute oxygen deficiency, but ultimately she made it in. Turning to look him in the eyes, on the other hand, was utterly unthinkable. So she stood with her back to him, which was not actually much better. The air was heavy with his scent, his warmth like an oven in the small space, and her heart hammered a wild beat in her chest, all of which made her a bit dizzy.

John was a complete gentleman, very attentive, opening the passenger door of the car for her as she got in and then again when she got out. In actuality, he held countless doors open that had been closed to her. But he looked past her, careful not to meet her eyes, which stung her. This was a special day in both their lives – couldn’t he at least be nice about it?

As they arrived at the registrar’s office in Manhattan, goosebumps made the fine hairs on her forearm shoot up. The time had come – they were going to get married. She was to be John Dempsey’s wife.

In the long hallway there was a display cart of bridal bouquets behind glass, waiting to accompany a happy pair to their union. John stopped and spoke briefly with the saleswoman, who then took a lovely bouquet of lilies from the case.

Did John somehow still know that lilies were her favorite flower? Had he remembered that, or was it pure chance? Secretly, Ally hoped it was the first possibility. How she wanted to believe that he had taken notice of this small thing, just as she had imbibed his every detail. His favorite color, how he took his coffee, what he liked on toast in the morning – she even knew which gun he had used for his daily target training.

“Here,” was all he said, tearing her from her fantasies to push the flowers into her hand. Not so much as a sweet word or a smile. Nothing.

Nonetheless, she was pleased and put her nose in the bouquet, which, sadly, didn’t smell like anything. Evidently they were greenhouse blossoms. “Thank you, John.”

“Don’t mention it, Ally.” His voice sounded hoarse and, if it was possible to think such a thing without getting her hopes up, her first thought would have been that he was just as nervous as she was. But she forbid herself from such presumptions. The realization that it was not actually the case would be too painful. “Let’s go. I think that’s Bobby sitting up there. Come on.”

“Bobby? Who’s Bobby?” she asked, following him. Up to this point she’d been under the impression that the two of them would be alone on this occasion.

“Bobby Dawson, spokesman for the Centerstarks. He’ll be our witness and he’s bringing a photographer. After the incident in the mall, he thought we should go public with the wedding. It’s good publicity and it prevents prying eyes.” John spoke as though this were the most normal thing in the world, but Ally’s stomach turned at the idea of the entire world seeing photos of her staged wedding. And this is why she stopped suddenly as though rooted to the spot.

“What?”

“Maybe we should just call the whole thing off. I mean, we don’t have... I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, to get married.” Her voice trembled a little and she was all at once terribly flushed. Panic shot through her. She had to get out of here!

John came right up to her, his stomach almost touching her breast as he bent down to her and said, so quietly that only she could hear, “Pull yourself together and breath normally.” He put his hands on her arms and looked her in the eyes. “Listen, Ally. I told you I would give this child my name and otherwise be there for it. I know how bad it is to grow up without a dad. Believe me, you don’t want to do that to your kid. Besides, I owe this to your father. Soon you’ll have your inheritance and you can do whatever you want without worrying about anyone digging around in your past.” Abruptly, he straightened, leaving her arms feeling suddenly cold and abandoned where his hands had been.

So he was only doing this because he thought he owed her father a debt? Ally’s stomach tied itself in a knot, which didn’t make it easier to swallow this charity. “And now you listen, John.” She didn’t like the amused glimmer in his eyes one bit. “My father has been dead for a long time and you don’t owe him a thing anymore. Let’s get out of here.” She was ready to turn on her heels when he laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Ally, please. Be reasonable, for the baby’s sake. I’ll look after you both. With or without a debt to settle.” She wanted to tell him the truth. But how was she supposed to know if he was actually going to transfer the inheritance to her? Officially, it was his, and her objection period had run out two years ago. He didn’t have to transfer anything to her at all.

“John, I’m not...” but she got no further, for at that moment a man and woman approached them. It had to be Bobby Dawson and the woman was evidently the photographer. She was at least 5’7” and her slender gazelle legs were sheathed in a tight skirt. She wore her blond hair long over her shoulders and smiled unabashedly at John. Ally felt a sting penetrate her chest. Jealousy? No – why should she be jealous? She had no claim on him, even if they did plan to marry.

“Hey, Lisa, nice to see you again.” And then he was kissing her on the cheek. “Lisa, this is my fiancée, Allison Galletti.”

The appraising look that the woman gave her did nothing for Ally’s self-confidence. “Hello, Miss Galletti.”

“Hello,” she squeaked. The situation was embarrassing – because of her lie, because of her reaction to the photographer – because of everything. In order to hide her emotions, she rummaged around busily in her handbag.

“And this is Bobby Dawson, our spokesperson,” John introduced the man now, who was about forty years old. His open smile and the crow’s feet around his eyes made him immediately easy to like.

Quickly, Ally pulled her hand from the purse and extended it towards Bobby. “Hello, Mr. Dawson.”

He returned the handshake heartily and kept her hand for a minute longer. “Call me Bobby. Can I call you Allison?”

Relieved, she answered: “Of course.”

“Hey, John, where did you meet this delightful creature? Does she have a sister?” Ally had the feeling as though someone had stuck a poker in her gut. She reeled, but John was at her side immediately and put an arm around her.

Somehow, the two men came to an understanding with their eyes alone and ultimately John answered: “Allison and I have known each other forever. I was in love with her before she even knew there was a difference between men and women.”

Tenderly, he pressed her to him more closely and whispered in her ear: “Everything okay?”

For a fleeting moment, she raised her head and looked him deep in the eyes, losing herself to him, but then a glaring flash pulled her back to the present moment. Lisa was standing next to them, getting some shots. Not this now!

“Have you gotten all the paperwork out of the way?” John asked them both.

“No, nothing but the marriage contract, which we had to turn in earlier. We just got here and bought some flowers. Thank God they had lilies – Ally loves lilies.” He pulled her to him gently again. So he did still know. Her heart fluttered at the thought that he did actually care about her. Otherwise he wouldn’t have taken note of what flowers she liked. For a moment, she let her guard down, leaned into him, closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. She loved his smell. And she had the feeling, for a moment, of being right at home.

***

The small wedding party sat on one of the long, green benches in the hallway. John and Ally had finished the paper work and were now waiting to be called up.

Bobby had pulled out an iPad and was checking his email while Lisa cleaned her lenses. For some reason, Ally didn’t like her. The blond kept looking at her appraisingly and then turning away as soon as she was caught at it. What was with her? Was she an ex of John’s?

The minutes dragged by, probably because no one was talking to each other. All in all, someone walking by could have easily assumed that they were waiting for a funeral. Ally felt worse and worse, even though she’d pledged to make this a nice day.

“Miss Galletti and Mr. Dempsey? You’re next. Come in, please.” An older woman with a starched blouse showed them the way to the Chapel, as the room where the ceremony would take place was called.

Her knees shaking, she followed the woman. Knowing that John was right behind her didn’t do anything to calm her. Her thoughts all circled around the central doubt that she was doing the right thing. Her guilty conscience was raising its head again – after all, she was lying to John. He wanted to marry her because he was under the assumption that she was pregnant.

Trying to distract herself from negative brooding, she let her gaze wander around the room. Every wall was painted a different color.  A friendly looking, middle-aged man stood behind a lectern and greeted them. This must be the registrar. The chapel was meant to look festive and romantic, but it gave her more a feeling of cold and starkness.

Ally’s hands were sweating and, with a queasy feeling in her stomach, she looked at John, who smiled at her encouragingly, as though he were telling her: We’ll get through this. She just couldn’t make heads or tails of him. One moment, he was sweet and attentive, but in the next moment he was cool, even hurtful. At the moment he’d decided to play the kind bridegroom again. Good, she’d take it at face value, but falling for it? Enjoying it? Out of the question.

After everyone had taken the places they’d been assigned, the ceremony began.

“Is there anyone who objects to this union?” The man behind the lectern began by asking.

Of course, no one objected, although Ally briefly considered bringing an end to the whole drama. But she had already gone too far. There was no ‘out’ anymore. Or was there?

Just as though he sensed that she was struggling internally, John took her hands in his and she noticed that his fingers trembled a little. A smile flitted across her lips and she lowered her gaze quickly. He was nervous, too.

“Do you, Allison Galletti, wish to marry John Dempsey, present here today? Then answer: I do.”

Did she really? In actuality, she could have screamed it at the top of her lungs, without lying, if only the circumstances were different. She loved him and only him. For as long as she could remember, there had been no other man for her. But, even as this realization fell on her like a ton of bricks, the knot in her stomach wouldn’t ease up. Nonetheless, she answered bravely: “I do.”

Ally was rewarded with a smile that made her dizzy.

“And you, John Dempsey, do you wish to marry Allison Galletti, present here today? Then answer: I do.”

And he did, without a moment’s hesitation. Ally envied him this certainty. Her own bad conscience protested within her, for hadn’t she sworn only to marry for love – never out of greed or obligation? But some pledges had to be broken.

Smiling, the registrar looked from one to the other of them until his gaze rested on John. “As a show of your eternal love, please exchange rings now.”

Rings? Alarmed, Ally looked at John, but he seemed perfectly at ease and winked at her impishly. Bobby Dawson handed him a small box, from which John drew a band. Her breath caught in her throat. It was a wedding ring of white gold, with filigreed fluorishes and a small diamond. It was lovely – nothing garish, just a very romantic piece of jewelry. Ally’s eyes smarted and she had to blink as he put the ring on her finger.

Next to her, someone cleared their throat. She’d been so enchanted by the ring that she hadn’t at all noticed that Bobby had come up to her and was handing her a similar small box.

Curious, she opened the tiny velvet case and discovered a ring with a fine engraving that echoed the embellishments on her own. As she took his finger and slid the ring onto it, the weight of this action hit her for the first time and a single tear ran down her cheek. John saw it and wiped it away in a tender gesture.

Meanwhile, the registrar continued with the ceremony. “By the power vested in me by the wonderful state of New York, I pronounce you man and wife,” he said, finishing by applauding them on their union. “You may now kiss.”

Ally held her breath and felt her eyes widen as John bent down to her, but as his lips touched hers, she forgot everything but him. She swayed a little but did not fall. John took her in his arms and kissed her like a man who loved his bride over everything. But she knew better. At some point they separated and Ally averted her eyes, for she was incapable of meeting his eyes at this moment. He would have immediately seen what she felt for him, which was something she couldn’t let happen.

A short time later they stood, certificate in hand, in front of the venerable building that held the registrar’s office. Lisa, who’d already taken a ton of photos, was not ready to put the camera aside. Ally forced herself to smile, despite her rollercoaster feelings, including that she hadn’t the slightest idea what came next. All she knew for sure is she would not be humiliated.

Chapter 18

John

He had taken one of Ally’s rings and gone to a jeweler. In John’s opinion, no wedding was complete without rings. He’d quickly found the right one, for he had a very specific idea of what he wanted and knew where to go for it. And as he’d slid the ring onto Ally’s finger and she’d gazed at it, mesmerized, he knew that he’d chosen the right one. A feeling of joy took a hold of him and it felt so good to wear the complementary ring on his own finger.

Ally’s eyes had widened as he’d bent down to her, but from the moment his lips touched hers, all he’d felt was her soft mouth and that scent that was all her own. At some point, they separated and that beautiful moment had come to an end. Ally had looked away immediately. How he would have liked to look her in the eyes then. She’d always been an open book for him, at least in situations in which she found it difficult to mask her true emotions. He hoped – without himself knowing exactly why – that this was one of those situations and that was why she’d averted her gaze.

And now his hope and desire to take her were so strong, that he would’ve liked to press her to himself again immediately.

Bobby did not miss the opportunity to invite the wedding party to lunch. He’d already reserved a table in one of these fancy places that he preferred and John detested.

Initially, John had assumed that Bobby was hot on the photographer – he’d been solo for a long time. Over the course of the meal, though, his friend disabused him of this notion. Bobby was flirting with Ally! John could see it clearly and it made him grind his teeth. Meanwhile, Lisa was sitting next to spokesman, hardly noticed and visibly frustrated. Out of sheer anger, John ordered a whiskey and then another and, by the time he was on number three, he noticed he was beginning to take the whole thing a little better. Why had he explained to Bobby, of all people, the truth of his relationship with Ally?

Lisa started making eyes at John. She was an extraordinarily attractive woman and allowed himself a little play – playing with fire. Her fire. After all, his own wife wasn’t even taking note of him. His wife – the words gave him a funny feeling. Just the thought of being married was new. Lisa, on the other hand, hung on his every word and, under the table, ran her foot up his leg.

“Your wife doesn’t seem to get how lucky she is. The way she’s talking with Bobby, you’d think she’d interested in him. She’s not even bothering to look at you. As for me – I can hardly take my eyes off you.” He started to feel hot and the last few days, spent chasing his past, only added to the feeling. The photographer’s words penetrated him and he wanted to get Ally back somehow.

“So, what turns you on?” His gaze wandered to her cleavage and remained there far too long, but he caught himself continuing to think of Ally, whose charms had irrevocably drawn him in. He strained to hear bits of the conversation she and Bobby were having and didn’t register what Lisa had answered. When he looked at her again, she was pouting.

“You weren’t listening.”

“Sorry –  I think I drank a little too much,” he hazarded an excuse, which only made her double her efforts with her foot.

Just when it started to be fun and he was beginning to like the tall blond and her active foot, Bobby asked for the check. Such a spoil sport!

The spokesman drove them home and took his leave from Ally so demonstratively, with embraces and kisses on the cheek, that John was about to lose it. What was the big idea? Ally was married to him! Him, she hardly looked at when they chanced to meet around the apartment but Bobby she showered with attention?

The intensity of his feelings sent him spinning, in addition to the alcohol, until, in the elevator, he suddenly pressed the emergency brake and braced himself in front of Ally.

She was more than a head shorter than he was but she stiffened now. She met his eyes coldly. “What do you want, John?” she spit.

The nerve. “You!”

“Me? You can’t have me. You knew from the very beginning that this marriage was only good on paper. If you need someone to warm your bed, you could’ve brought Lisa up. I wasn’t the only one who noticed your game of footsie and the bonehead look on your face. It was so embarrassing – and on our wedding day.” Startled by her outburst, John stepped back, but she was evidently not finished with him yet. “If you can’t hold your alcohol, then you shouldn’t drink, at least not while I’m around. I’m not going to take that kind of behavior when we’re out in public together.”

As Ally reached to press the button that would set the elevator in motion again, he grabbed her hand impulsively. He didn’t want to go up to the enormous apartment, where they’d doubtless each go their own way. Another lonely night when sleep wouldn’t come to him because he could feel her presence in the guest room. Heat rose up in him as she stood so close. Her flushed cheeks, dark hair, and those full lips begging to be kissed. Before he could stop himself, he pressed his mouth onto hers, but she wasn’t ready to let the argument go. When he opened his eyes, she was looking directly at him.

She stared at him coldly and said in an even colder tone: “John Dempsey, if you think I’m going to finish what that slut started under the table, you’ve got another thing coming.”                                                         

She might as well have poured a bucket of icy water over his head. He reeled backwards as she pressed the button, setting the elevator in motion again.

Chapter 19

Ally

Her heart beat like a jackhammer. She closed the door and leaned up against it. Her head buzzed and her knees were soft as butter.

It had taken superhuman strength to put him off like that. But his behavior in the restaurant had hurt and humiliated her. Even if this wedding did only exist on paper, he didn’t have the right to embarrass her in public like that – and with such a hussy. She would have like to chop Lisa’s feet off. What nerve, coming on to the man that Ally had just married a matter of hours ago! And what had John done?  Nothing! Just looked totally transported. Even Bobby Dawson had noticed and was obviously embarrassed for his friend. Ally could see it in his face.

And then he somehow thought it would be a good idea to approach her in the elevator? What was up with him? Furious, she removed her wedding dress and lay it on the chair. Her fingers caressed the lace and she lost herself in a daydream. She dreamed of a small, simple wedding, like the one from today, but with a totally different ending. The reality was no match for it – reality was terrible, crushing.

Sadly, she went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She stayed there until her fingers were raisins. While she dried herself off, her thoughts circled around John, the wedding, and Bobby, whom she had really liked. He was nothing compared to John, who could seduce her with a single glance, a light touch, just one word. No, that’s not how it was with Bobby. But it was nonetheless a wonderful feeling to carry on a conversation with a cultivated man who didn’t fall all over you or critically observe every word, like John did. She had simply felt comfortable in the company of the Centerstark’s spokesman.

But her thoughts soon flitted back to John. To that one word that had made her blood quicken. “You!” She would have liked to throw herself at him in that moment. Really, she’d never wanted anything else, but John had made it clear with his behavior today what she was to him. A woman from his past whom he didn’t even respect enough not to humiliate in public.

It hurt, but that was how things went. Ally was used to pain, to not getting her heart’s desire. She would survive this, too. Really, it had been over before it had even begun – now it was just too late.

***

Later, as she lay in bed, still awake, she heard footsteps in the hallway that stopped right in front of her door. Alarmed, she held her breath and strained to listen, but there was no more to hear. She thought maybe she’d imagined the whole thing when she heard more footsteps, moving away.

Had it been John? Why was he creeping around like that? Did he maybe want to apologize? No, he’d never do that. That would mean admitting that he wasn’t perfect.

The sky was lightening by the time Ally’s eyes finally closed.

***

She wasn’t exactly in a good mood, but she couldn’t help feeling a certain satisfaction. She was now John Dempsey’s wife. She’d wanted this since she was 11 years old – it had been her dream for years.

Back then, John had fallen in love with her shortly before her sixteenth birthday. They had both agreed that they couldn’t pursue a relationship without Ally’s father’s consent. In order to make things right, John had gone to Mr. Galletti and asked for her hand in marriage. In retrospect, given that John was twenty-three at the time, Ally could understand why her father hadn’t agreed to it. They’d both been too young. For sure Ally was. Until recently, she hadn’t been able to see this, but now she made peace with the old man. Finally she knew why he’d responded the way he had. What had opened her eyes was the conversation with the lawyer and also the fact that her father had consigned his fortune to John.

Feeling at peace with the situation, she rose. She’d only slept three hours, but she felt well. A little while later, after she’d had a workout in John’s private studio and a hot shower, she went into the kitchen and encountered the chef. Spontaneously, she gave him and all the personnel the day off. Resolved to reconcile with John, she began preparing breakfast herself.

Chapter 20

John

He’d imagined something different for his wedding night, but really it was his own fault. What had he expected? She had only married him to give her baby a better start in life. And obviously she only saw him as a friend. For her, the almost unbridled love they’d once felt for one another had fizzled out.

There was a hammering in his skull as though he were standing directly in front of a speaker at a heavy metal concert. He really needed an aspirin. He’d have to skip breakfast – he wouldn’t be able to stomach it.

He shuffled out to the bathroom to get a couple pills for his headache. Once achieved, he went weakly into the kitchen, expecting to see Antonio, his cook, but instead he found Ally at the stove. She was standing there in hot pants and a white top. So many of her curves were shown to advantage in this brief outfit. Barfoot, she was scrambling eggs. The little sadist.

“Where’s Antonio?” he bellowed, without giving her so much as a greeting.

“I gave the employees the day off in recognition of the wedding.” She looked at him with raised eyebrows, watching for his reaction, but he didn’t even have the strength to rise to the bait.

“Great,” he said, pouring himself a black coffee and then mixing the tablets right into the cup. God, his head! He made a promise to himself never to drink like that again. The bottle of whiskey that he’d opened last night after their return stood half empty now. He had clearly had too much.

“Do you want some eggs?” Did she really want to know? Couldn’t she see how he was feeling? Or did she enjoy torturing him?

“I have a couple of eggs here myself that got fried yesterday.” He accentuated the jab by looking her frankly up and down, but she didn’t even bat an eyelash at the sexual innuendo. In the past she would have gone red and left the room hastily. Thinking of everything that had changed in the last four years to bring them to this filled him with rancor.

“Yeah, well, those who play with fire shouldn’t be surprised when their eggs get scorched.” Ally smiled at him sweetly and turned back to the pan.

He couldn’t resist an angry snort, but his headache didn’t allow anything further. Soon thereafter, he stormed out of the room to lick his wounds from this fresh humiliation alone.

Chapter 21

Ally

All he had to do was approach her and the sky went dark. Without so much as a word of greeting, he’d started bellowing at her. John stood as though rooted to the spot in the door and stared at her belligerently. He better not even think that she was caving in just because he was trotting out his ill-tempered superstar play again.

She asked him if he wanted something to eat, recalling the good intentions she’d had a moment earlier – to be nice to him.

And it was precisely this question that made him look at her as though she were some pest in the kitchen. He pulled himself up tall and looked down on her. In a growl, he answered: “I have a couple of eggs here myself that got fried yesterday.” 

“Yeah, well, those who play with fire shouldn’t be surprised when their eggs get scorched.” She gave him a sweet smile and turned back to the pan. There was no way she was going to let him see how he got to her, talking like that. What did he expect? Sympathy? Not likely! As long as he kept up this behavior, her good intentions went out the window. Pezzo di merda! Such an ass!

He snorted furiously and stomed out of the room.

This was not possible – John Dempsey had backed down! Now this Ally had never expected and a victorious smile spread across her face. He’d learn! You didn’t mess with an Italian woman.

Breakfast was tasty – or was it victory over this horse’s ass of a man that was so delicious, as she bit into her toast, grinning?

***

An hour later there was a knock on her door. It had to be John, but instead of his usual way of storming into her room, he waited until she aknowledged him.

“Yeah?” she asked, curious, letting the book she’d been trying in vain to read fall into her lap.

John poked his head in. “Ally, do you have time? I want to show you something, but we have to drive.” He seemed a little contrite, not at all mad anymore – rather as though he wanted to regain her favor.

“Actually, I’m very busy, but I’ll tell my secretary that she should cancel all my appointments today,” she joked, but John just gave her that penetrating gaze again. Evidently, he was not entertaining jokes today. Such a spoilsport, she thought. “I’ll just brush my hair, then we can go.” She softened her tone, something she immediately regreted. She didn’t want to constantly pander to his moods! However, she was curious what he had in mind.

“We won’t get back until this evening – maybe pack anything you need. I’ll wait for you at the elevator – meet there.” Hastily, he shut the door.

Ally couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

***

John stood with his back to her. His white shirt hugged his broad back and she could see the play of his muscles even through the fabric. He was tense and when he noticed that she was approaching, he pressed the button for the elevator first before turning to her. John was clenching his teeth and his three day’s of stubble seemed darker than usual, but she found him irresistable.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” She asked and stared at the closed doors of the elevator so that she wouldn’t be caught making eyes at him – she wanted to stay true to her promise not to let him get away with anything.

“Just hold on, Ally.” He rolled her name on his tongue as though it were a confection to savor. Slowly, with pleasure.

Ally felt the fine hairs on her arm stand up. She would have like to groan with irritation. Why couldn’t he just tell her what he had planned? She kept quiet but her left eyebrow shot up skeptically.

She relinquished herself to fate, but as she sat in the car, driving out of the underground garage, an uneasy feeling crept up on her. John seemed serious. It probably wasn’t a nice surprise. Something that gave even John a stomachache. Alarm bells went off in her head.

Her apprehensions seemed to be proving true. They left New York City and, as they remained on the road towards Eastport, she guessed where they’d end up. Everything in her balked suddenly – she would have liked to jump out. But wasn’t it exactly the thing that she wanted, despite everything? Ally’s body stiffened more and more and she had to talk herself down from hyperventilating.

All at once John broke the silence that he’d kept for over an hour. “I removed all traces but otherwise didn’t change anything in your house.” This guy, usually so cool on the outside, had fine antennae. She had to admit this, for he had pinpointed the source of her upset, even as his eyes were fixed on the road.

“Thank you,” Ally forced out the words. She felt nauseated and like she had tunnel vision as the memories overwhelmed her. Her breath came in little gasps from her mouth. “John?” She said, “pull over, I have to throw up.” She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on her breath, she swayed back and forth in her seat, but it didn’t help much.

The wheels squealed as John steered the car onto the shoulder and then jumped out. Ally had just managed to unbuckle as he tore the door open and helped her out. Not a moment too soon.

While she puked her guts out, he stood nearby. Steadfastly, he held her hair out of her face. He stroked her back tenderly. Gratitude flooded Ally; it gave her hope that there was still a core of goodness in this man. It must be. Why else would he search for her for years?

Once there was nothing left, she straightened up slowly and took the water bottle that John offered. A little disgusted by her own deed, she rinsed her mouth out and returned to the car on shaking legs. Weakly, she let herself fall into the seat. “You want to go to Galletti House,” she said, stating the obvious.

“I thought now that we’re married and it’s officially yours, it might be the right time. At some point you have to confront you pay, Baby.” His voice was as gentle as a caress.

Baby. He’d used to call her that. Initially, it had been meant pejoratively but then, later, he’d said it so lovingly that she got goosebumps when she heard it. At this moment, however, this was not the effect, for she was furious. Furious at John for not asking her before they’d driven away. Furious at her family for leaving her all alone. Furious at the world, with all its injustices.

“Confront my past? Are you crazy? I’ve spent the last four years in hell because of this one day in my past that destroyed everything. Everything.” Her voice broke and hot tears ran down her cheeks.

John leaned towards her but she raised her hand and he accepted silently that she needed her space. Instead, he got in behind the wheel and took up his phone to check emails and give her the time that she so desperately needed in that moment.

he had to clear her head. Secretly, she knew John was right – Galletti House had been waiting too long already for her return. Memories poured forth, crowding her brain, weighing her down.

Before she could change her mind, she shut the car door and said: “Let’s go.”

John looked up. “Are you sure? I don’t want to force you into something you’re not ready for. I’m sorry.”

Ally wrung her hands and rolled her eyes. “Just drive.” And that’s what John did.

***

For many New Yorkers, a vacation house in the Hamptons on Long Island is a status symbol of the highest order. Those with enough money had private access to the ocean.

It was beautiful there, above all in the quiet locations without tourists. Galletti House was located in the most exclusive of these areas and was meant as a year-round residence.

The BMW convertible drove down the gravel driveway, past an imposing fountain. John parked in front of the sweeping entryway. It still looked as impressive as it had four years ago, but to Ally, who’d learned poverty and hunger in the intervening years, it now looked like a palace. Had this really once been her home?

Her heart beat wildly and she couldn’t find the strength to open the passenger door and get out. John helped her, reaching his hand into her and grasping hers. “Stay calm, Baby. I’m here. I won’t leave your side.”

This time she couldn’t be angry with him. She was far too grateful that he was accompanying her through this dark hour. She used her other hand to hoist herself up to his arm and slowly followed his steps. Alone, without him, she couldn’t have made it.

“It looks so... it looks so... like someone lives here,” she said in a quiet, trembling voice. It was almost as though at any minute her mother or sister would come around the corner, a basket of fresh-cut flowers on their arm. But however badly she wished it was so, she knew that this would never happen again.

“I kept on Moltisanti as a housekeeper. He and Graciela take care of the whole property and run it properly. They were both glad not to leave, like the others. After a few months, when there was no sign of you, I gave it over to them.”

In the meantime, they’d reached the front door. Ally’s knees shook. She was glad it was broad daylight and the sun was shining so that the scene had little in common with her last evening here. Still, an ice-cold shiver ran up and down her back.

At that very moment she heard footsteps crunching on the gravel behind them. As Ally turned, two people rushed up to them. She had to take a second look before she recognized the Moltisantis. They’d grown older, had gray hair now, but they still radiated warmth. The sight of them made Ally suddenly sob, remembering all at once their moments together. Her emotions boiled over and she ran into their open arms.

“Oh, Ally, my angel! I’m so glad you’re finally home. We thought we might never see you again.” Mrs. Moltisanti sniffed bitterly and embraced Ally tightly.

“Graciela, now, give me a chance to have a look at her.” Mr. Motisanti stood smiling, although his eyes glistened with tears.  A totally unfamiliar show of emotion from him. He was Italian through and through, very effusive, but crying was considered unmanly in his generation.

After the three had embraced for a long while and shed many tears on the entryway to Galletti House, John cleared his throat, whereupon he was also heartily welcomed.

“Welcome, both of you,” Mrs. Moltisanti stroked the cheeks of her former pupils. She’d known Ally and John for a long time and both had a secure place in the old woman’s heart, even as adults. “Let’s go in.”

Ally felt herself bolstered, loved, and a little small – right at home. The Motisantis had arranged themselves on her left and right and John stood behind her. He’d be able to catch her, if it came to that. She felt sure.

Despite their expectations, they were not met with a rush of stuffy air. Quite the opposite: it smelled delightfully of freshly cleaned floors and windows. Everything gleamed – the parquet, the furniture, and the chandelier that had always lit up the vestibule so festively. As a child she’d been firmly convinced that it was made of pure diamond.

“We left everything the way it was, so you’d feel at home when you returned. Alberto and I will let you get reacquainted with the place. We still live in the little house and will expect you there in an hour for dinner.” Graciela Moltisanti kissed Ally on the cheek once more and then pulled her husband towards the door.

John remained standing behind her and now laid a hand on her shoulder. “Shall we?”

She nodded bravely but averted her eyes from the living room. Together they climbed the magnificent staircase. On the second floor, John had had the walls painted so that there was no trace of her mother and sister’s blood. Here, too, it looked almost as though they would come tumbling out of one of the rooms and, in the typical loud, Italian style, overjoyed, take Ally in their arms. First out in the garden and then here, they lived on in this house’s memory.

But it remained quiet – only Ally’s panting breath could be heard. It reverberated unnaturally off the walls and she suddenly felt the emptiness that threatened to overtake her. Seeking an anchor, she turned to John and was immediately received with open arms. Gentle hands stroked her hair and, slowly, she relaxed.

Hot tears welled up in her eyes. Through them she gazed past John and saw that the doors to many of the rooms stood open. Ally felt that this small gesture might allay her fears. Mrs. Moltisanti had always been an extremely compassionate woman and had probably always thought first and foremost of Ally’s return. Her room had been right there, straight ahead. Tentatively, she pulled away from John, took his hand, and pulled him with her.

Everything was still in its place, except that the scattered clothes that had always sullied her room were gone. On a hunch, she opened her closet and there they all were – her beloved jeans, dresses, shirts, shoes, handbags. How could it be that she’d once taken it all for granted? And how had such little things been so important to her back then?

“Soon they won’t fit you anymore.” He smiled at her, but she didn’t understand what he meant and returned a questioning look. “Well, when your belly grows and you can’t hide your pregnancy anymore, you won’t fit into these things anymore, Baby.”

She could see that he was pleased. He had married her and now he was glad she was pregnant with someone else’s baby? She had to come clean with him, but not yet, not here. “Then I should wear a few of these dresses while I still can.” Cautiously, she stroked the fabric of the clothes and then paused on a lovely silver dream of a dress. She had worn this when she’d first kissed John.

Her heart fluttered at the memory. Back then, everything had seemed so simple. She had known what she wanted and thought they’d take on the world together.

“Do you want to wear that to dinner with Graciela?” He had observed her closely and, once again, drawn the correct conclusion.

“No, that won’t work. It’s much to elegant for the occasion.” A shy smile played across her face as she looked up at him. They stood so close, she had to throw her head back to do so. “But I would like to try on some of my old things.”

“Should I wait in the hall?” She could feel his breath on her face but her mouth went dry at the prospect of being alone here.

“No – stay. Just turn around.”

She chose a summer dress with luminous colors and put on matching shoes, then said: “You can turn around again.”

His eyes sparkled darkly as he looked at her. She wasn’t sure, but was that desire she saw there?

Chapter 22

John

In that moment, when he turned around to face her again, he saw his Ally. Fragile, fearful, and with a smile on her lips that made his knees go weak. He was glad that he’d taken a seat on the bed. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore and yet stood up very deliberately. With slow, powerful steps, he bridged the short distance between them and stood before her. His heart hammered in his chest so, he suspected Ally could hear it.

Her eyes went wide, but she didn’t step back. Nor did she when he placed his hand tenderly on her neck and bent his head to her. He placed his lips gently on hers, these lips he’d dreamed of ever since they’d first cast their spell on him. At first they stood still, but then she stretched up, laid her arms around his neck, and pulled him closer.

They kissed as though there was no tomorrow, couldn’t bear to part from one other, and ultimately both lost their breath, leaning on each other with wildly beating hearts. His chin rested on the top of her head and he didn’t dare open his eyes, for that’s when reality would come rushing back in. She would once again be this new Ally who was at times so different. The Ally who was expecting a baby, the child of another man.

He couldn’t tell how long they stood there like that, but at some point he heard the front door open and Mrs. Moltisanti calling from below: “Dinner’s ready!”

Ally wobbled and she started to giggle, could hardly stop. She was probably remembering a moment in their past, when they were both still just kids, for this is precisely what John was thinking of when he heard Graciela’s call. “Let’s go. You know how angry she gets if anyone’s late to the table,” he whispered in her hair and she nodded in answer. As their gazes met, he could have groaned out loud.

***

John watched, fascinated, as Ally warmed to him, reminding him of the girl for whom he’d once fallen head over heels. When his career had taken off, many women had thrown themselves at him and he hadn’t been able to resist some. But his heart had always belonged to her.

“John, Ally,” began Mr. Motisanti, “I’m so glad to have you both here. We never gave up hope that John would find you – you should know that, Dear.” Ally, who’d sat in this chair as a child, looked at him with tears in her eyes. There were times when she’d been more at home with the Motisantis than with her own family. “No matter what, Graciela and I will always be here for you. You were and are the daughter we never had.”

His wife started sniffling and came around the table. “That’s right, Honey.” Impetuously, she pressed Ally to her substantial bosom.

John held his breath. The mood was so emotional, he had the feeling that his presence might be disrupting it. Sadly, he realized that these two people were the only ones Ally had in the world and, silently, he hoped that he would have a small place in her world, too. This was truly something like a family.

Ally was crying, but Graciela held her safe and secure in her arms. “I missed you all so. It... It was so horrific... everything,” she stammered while her body was wracked with sobs. Mr. Moltisanti reached out a fleshy hand and laid it on Ally’s head. The three stood there for a long moment until Ally slowly gathered herself.

“I’m so sorry about everything! If we’d known where you were, we would have rushed in to help. But we didn’t know!” Graciela Moltisanti was completely overcome. “We stayed in contact with John and knew that he’d put different private detectives on your trail, but it was only a couple days ago that he finally called us and said you were okay. Are you really okay?”

“Si, Aunt Graciela, I’m okay.” Ally endeavored to put a smile on her face and John could see all too well how hard it was for her to get the next words out. “I lived in constant fear that they’d find me and I never stayed in one place too long. I didn’t want to be found. This time, I wasn’t careful enough, or maybe I was just homesick and tired of running. Life on the run is no way to live. There was no one I could trust and I didn’t want to put you in danger, so that’s why I stayed away. Please forgive me.”

Mr. Moltisanti bent to her and took her face in his hands. “Mia bambina, you never have to apologize for what happened. You have suffered so much injustice and you were so young. My heart hurts, thinking of what you went through, what you had to do.” His mouth quivered and Ally drew in her breath as she realized what the old man was thinking.

“No! Please, Uncle Alberto, I never had to do that! Don’t think that of me. I never sold my body.” She shook her head vehemently and added in a whisper: “I would have starved first.” It was apparent that the old man was relieved; his shoulders, which had been tensed almost to his ears, now fell.

John had never questioned her about it, but somehow he, too, had assumed that she’d made a living with the ancient art. How wrong he’d been! How could he have thought such a thing? And who was he, anyway, to judge her for it, for potentially seeking a little tenderness in this dark world and giving herself to some stranger? He was the one who’d given in to this. How often had he relented and followed his lust for a warm, female body? How often had he woken up the next morning not knowing the name of the woman in his bed?

***

“Out of the question!” Graciela put her hands on her hips and gave John a furious look. “I haven’t seen my girl for so long, you can’t just take her away again the same evening. You’re staying here! No  questions! Basta!”

They were about to say their goodbyes, but Mrs. Moltisanti would not hear of it.

“I can’t sleep in the house.” Ally’s words were so quiet, they were barely perceptible, but the older woman stopped in her tracks and laid a hand on Ally’s cheek.

“My child,” she began in a warm, empathetic voice, “of course you can’t. That’s why I got the pool house all ready. It’s a little small, but it’ll do for a night. You have more than enough clothes here and John, you can borrow some from Alberto. They’ll be a few sizes too big, but in a pinch, it’ll work.”

This made it a done deal and neither John nor Ally could bear to decline the offer. Once Graciela got an idea in her head, it was difficult to dissuade her. It had always been that way – what she says, goes. Nobody questioned her.

Together they went to the small, white house that had always served as an additional guest space when the many rooms in the main house didn’t suffice. This had usually been the case at Christmas time, when half of Italy came to visit. Relatives John and Ally had sometimes never even heard of coming in droves, pinching the cheeks of that little girl from long ago, speaking Italian in loud voices that rang through the house, piling up gifts for the children.

The cottage was comfortably decorated with pine and maple furnishings, the room done up with fresh cut flowers, and the warm light transformed the space into a home that radiated love. John was glad not to have to drive back to the city that night. He was tires and the full-bodied red wine they’d had with dinner had gone to his head. 

“As soon as you’ve had a good night’s sleep, come over to us and I’ll make a breakfast so good it’ll be hard for you to leave.” The older woman took her former charge in her arms once again and patted John on the cheek maternally. “You know, old Galletti would be pleased to hear you had married. Even though he didn’t give his permission back then, he’d always seen you as a potential son-in-law. He just wanted you to sow your wild oats before you made his girl your wife. You two have always been meant for each other – a blind man could see it.”

John’s gaze flitted to Ally to see how she’d react. Her lips were pressed into a hard line and she was looking angrily at the floor. “Shame he never told us that. Maybe then things would have turned out differently.”

“Oh, dear, don’t be bitter about it. Not everything went as it should have, perhaps, but you’ve rediscovered each other and are married now. Love and honor one another and nothing will go wrong.” She smiled at them both lovingly. “So, enough talk from the old woman! Sleep well and do everything I wouldn’t do.” Giggling, she left the cottage, leaving John and Ally standing in the big bedroom.

A double bet stood against the wall and on each side lay neatly folded pajamas. Two easy chairs and a finely carved table rounded out the furnishings. The narrow door at the end of the room lead into the bathroom, this John knew, for he’d slept here more than once. Either he’d sleep on the floor or she’d have to share the bed with him, for better or worse.

His eyes swept over the soft curves of Ally’s face. The face of an angel. She had a graceful neck which just emphasized the ample curves below. He noticed how her breasts rose with each breath. How would they feel in his hands? As his gaze shifted back to her face, he realized she was looking directly at him. Chocolate colored eyes that looked into his very soul and knew exactly what he was thinking. Her raised eyebrow was an accusation, a question, and an invitation in one.

He couldn’t say how long he stared at her like that. It could have been just a few seconds or it could have been many minutes. His sense of time had gone out of whack the second Graciela had closed the door behind herself. Since then, an overwhelming lust had taken a hold of him.

Why couldn’t he just turn back the clock and undo all the terrible things that had happened? Calogero would still be alive to give him his daughter’s hand in marriage. And he, John, would be there for her until death did them part. Shaken by these romantic thoughts, he shook his head and walked past Ally swiftly. He urgently needed an ice-cold shower if he was going to get out of this night alive.

Kapitel 23

Ally

As John disappeared into the bathroom, Ally drew breath hastily. She hadn’t even realized she’d been holding it in. She heard the shower water running in the next room.

His gaze had gone right through her and had unspooled a longing in her that she hadn’t felt in years. John, wild and dark-haired, this man who could’ve had anybody, had starred at her like a starving animal! His stubble had been darkening on his cheeks for three days and he had bedroom hair that she wanted to run her hands through. And that broad chest in that white shirt had just beckoned her touch.

She just had to clear her head, but how? Her hands trembled and her heart raced. Against her better judgment, she reached for the heavy crystal bottle and poured some of the amber liquid into a glass. Normally, she never drank alcohol, but maybe it would help her relax a bit.

Quickly, Ally took a gulp and nearly spit it back out, for it burned her throat like liquid fire. But then a pleasant warmth filled her, starting in her stomach, and she drank the rest down.

Soon thereafter, John came out of the bathroom wearing only tight boxershorts. Ally’s mouth went dry and her eyes widened. John had an effect on her like an addictive drug and she had to resist the temptation to throw herself at him, panting. He was clearly one of the most good-looking men on the planet.

“Why are you staring at me like that? Haven’t you ever seen a man in boxer briefs before?” He joshed and lay down on the bed. She could see all too well the effect her behavior was having on his self-confidence. His arrogant expression would normally have made her livid, but then her brain wasn’t functioning normally.

“What? No... I mean, yeah, of course,” she stammered. She could have slapped herself for that one.

His eyes swept between her and the empty glass. “Need some Dutch courage to spend the night with me?” John’s blue eyes suddenly seemed black, almost threatening. Almost as though they were those of a stalking animal. Ally felt penetrated by his gaze, a sensation that was not helped by the alcohol. 

“Um... no.”

“Come on, Ally, I’m not going to eat you alive. Get your pajamas and go take a shower.”

A put-down! He was putting her down? Hang on, he actually couldn’t – after all, at no point had she decided to spend the night with him.

“Graciela stoked the shower with all sorts of products. And then we’ll sleep. Nothing inappropriate will happen in this bed. Promise!” It sounded as though John were lamenting the fact. Or was she just imagining it?

In actual fact, it shouldn’t matter to her at all. He shouldn’t matter to her at all. She should just get ready for bed and not spend another second thinking about how his skin would feel under her hands. Irritated by herself and the world, she marched into the bathroom and shut the door hard.

***

Ally took her time in the shower. Here in the bathroom were all her favorite things from past years. Graciela had really tried to make Ally feel at home. While tears ran down her cheeks, mixing with the water, she cursed this constant show of emotion. In the previous few years she’d forbid herself this kind of sentimentality – she wouldn’t have survived otherwise, would have been run into the ground by the hard life on the run.

When the skin on her fingers was as wrinkled as a raisin, she shut the water off and dried off. The pajamas smelled deliciously like freshly washed laundry and home. A sigh escaped her throat. At home – she was finally at home. For the first time, she comprehended that she was safe here.

***

Quietly, she opened the bathroom door. The large room lay in darkness, only the moon threw its sallow light through the floor-to-ceiling window. Ally could see well enough to get to the bed, where she quickly got under the covers, trying to breath quietly.

Next to her, John awoke. “Good night, Baby.” His deep voice, raw now, sent a wave of electricity through her and she held her breath briefly, half expecting him to move closer towards her, but he didn’t. And it terrified her, how much she regretted this.

“Night, John.” On the one hand, she was relieved, but, on the other, totally frustrated that he hadn’t moved in on her. Ally herself didn’t exactly know what she wanted. Her heart was getting in the way of this plan she’d had to marry John under false pretenses – being pregnant – and get at her father’s inheritance. Disappearing again from his life would be very difficult.

She was entitled to this inheritance at any cost, but nonetheless, it weighed on her conscience. He had married her for all the right reasons and didn’t deserve to be played with like this. But wasn’t it too late now to tell him the whole truth?

Determined to clear the air, she turned to him and looked at his profile in the moonlight. His features were relaxed in sleep; his lips were slightly open and he’d put his hand under his head. He looked simply adorable. Millions of women would kill for half a chance to share a bed with John Dempsey, guitarist for the Centerstarks. These women would not just lie next to him, looking at him wistfully. Everything in her cried out to touch him, but she couldn’t risk it all again, risk being left minus him and plus a broken heart.

Ally snuggled into her pillow and observed him, listened to his regular breathing, which was music to her ears, and enjoyed his delicious smell.

Slowly, she relaxed. After what seemed like an eternity, her eyes fell closed and she slipped into peaceful sleep.

Chapter 24

John

As Ally slowly awoke the next morning, he’d already been watching her for some long moments: her angelic face, very close to his chest now, her delicate hands, which, at some point while sleeping she’d laid on his arm. In the moment when he’d first woken up and felt her touch, another piece of his hard shell had cracked. But no sooner had she awoken than she’d distanced herself from him, had jumped up hastily and hurried into the bathroom. They hadn’t spoken a word with one another.

After a generous breakfast with the Moltisantis, they were again sitting in the car, headed back to New York. The connection between them that he’d felt so clearly yesterday had disappeared. Their intimacy of yesterday evening just wouldn’t kick in again. Ally sat quietly next to him, ignoring his existence.

Their goodbyes had been very emotional and she’d had to promise Graciela that she’d visit again soon.  Graciela had protested repeatedly that the house was standing empty and it would be so nice to fill it with life again. With Ally, John, and the many little Dempseys who would doubtless soon arrive. He’d been waiting for Ally to mention her pregnancy, but she’d stubbornly kept her silence.

And then, at that moment, he realized something: Ally wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. She never talked about the baby or thought about baby clothes, furniture – didn’t even occur to her to buy so much as a romper. And she’d never even showed him an ultrasound image. Didn’t expectant mothers usually do that? Was she so ashamed of the circumstances?

He would have liked to ask her, but she seemed so standoffish, just like the first day they’d encountered each other again, when he’d saved her from the clutches of that barkeep. But he made a pledge to himself to talk to her about it at some point. It couldn’t go on like this! It wasn’t good for her or the tiny being in her belly.

“Ally?”

“Mm, yeah?” She responded a little sleepily. They were already within the city limits.

“Open the glove compartment. The envelope in there is for you.”

He could see her suddenly sit bolt upright in the passenger’s seat and then cautiously reach a hand out, just as though she were approaching something hot. Then she pulled out the envelope, which was more than two inches thick.

“What’s this?” she was skeptical and curious, but she didn’t look at him. She still avoided his gaze.

“It’s my wedding gift to you.” The smile stole across his face of its own accord, for he knew she’d be pleased. And that in turn filled him with pleasure.

Slowly, she opened the envelope and pulled the papers out. He heard her pull in her breath and then hold it. “This is...” but she couldn’t get any more words out. Her voice faltered and tears ran down her cheeks. John pulled over – the traffic let him through and even if it hadn’t, he couldn’t possibly have driven any farther. Ally has dissolved in tears and he wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on the road a minute longer.

Tenderly, he wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb and said: “Hey, Baby, you knew you’d get your inheritance. I don’t make empty promises. I thought you’d scream with joy, but instead I’ve made you cry. That was not what I intended. So give me back the envelope and we’ll forget the whole thing.” He had to smirk at her horrified expression. Never in a million years would he take it back. In the envelope was documentation on Galletti’s estate. John had transferred it all to her. The house, the bank accounts, the vintage cars. Everything. Ethically speaking, it all belonged to her, anyway.

She was obviously moved by a tumult of feelings. But she did look up at him and breathed, “Thank you, John! For everything!”

He caught her in his arms as she turned towards him. She felt so right there, as though this was the one and only place she belonged. A sigh escaped her and she felt as though a weight had been lifted.

***

John wasn’t sure about his feelings for Ally. Was he still in love with her, or was he once again? Did he just feel a sort of protective instinct for her? The answers to these questions remained elusive. There was only one thing he knew for sure: She totally put him off his stride.

When he’d held her in his arms in his cramped car, he’d simply felt content and her body had harmonized so well with his own. But there was this inescapable thought how nice it would be to be really and truly married to Ally. Not just on paper, but how they’d imagined it when they were teenagers.

But she wasn’t his Ally anymore and he wasn’t sure if he could come to terms with that. That she’d changed so much. But had she really? Or was he just seeing things differently?

There was a gentle knock on the door to his office and he looked up. “Yes,” he said.

Ally stuck her head through the gap between the door and the doorframe, as though she were afraid of disturbing him. “Hi, John. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course – come in.” Really, he didn’t want his voice to sound gruff, but he was agitated. The thoughts he was having about this woman and their marriage didn’t mesh with what they’d agreed on. And now she was invading the room just like she’d invaded his thoughts just a short time ago. In actual fact she’d started bogarting his feelings years ago, even if, at the moment, he was utterly confused and didn’t know how deep this went.

Ally looked ravishing. She’d braided her hair and put on a Snoopy tee shirt and a pair of those athletic leggings that let one see just what kind of curves were underneath. As she took a place across from him in a chair and crossed her legs, she seemed small and lost. Her expression at the moment made him wrinkle his brow. She looked like she had a bad conscience. What was behind it?

“What is it, Ally?” He asked impatiently, for she sat there without saying anything.

“How long are we going to keep up this charade, with the marriage? I mean...” He could see how unpleasant the conversation was for her but he wouldn’t let her off the hook. Why should he? Obviously, she’d had enough of him already, even though she hadn’t even brought her baby into the world. “When are we getting divorced?” She blurted.

It was like a fist to his stomach and he felt a wave of anger. “You’re in a hurry!” Despite extreme effort, he couldn’t keep his voice under control.

“John,” she began again, calmly this time, as though talking to an injured animal. It was counterproductive – it just made him more furious.

“That’s me!” He leapt up and approached her slowly. He didn’t care if he did scare her. “Why did you marry me?”

“Because you wanted to.” Her chin jutted out belligerantly.

John stopped short. “Because I wanted it?” Thunderstruck, he starred at her, but she didn’t answer, just returned his hard gaze. “Or was it that you just wanted your inheritance as quickly as possible?” It wasn’t until he’d said the words out loud that he realized the truth in them.

Ally got up out of the chair, crossed her arms, and looked at him defiantly. “And so what if I did?”

Her words were more sobering than a slap to the face and had an even more extreme effect on him. “I wanted to help you, wanted to be a father to your child, so that no one doubted you.” His voice had become dangerously quiet.

“I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done. You don’t have to guard my pride or my reputation.” She looked up at him with narrowed eyes, her lips pressed together into a tight line.

“But you should be!” As soon as he’d uttered the words he realized what a grave mistake he’d made. He could see how her posture changed and how she measured him with a gaze that would have killed lesser men.

“Good, John Dempsey, then there’s nothing else to say. I’ll move out as quickly as possible so that I no longer taint your household.” As she turned, he felt the need to stretch a hand out after her and ask for her forgiveness. But in the next moment he recalled that she’d married him out of pure greed.

Why was this realization so hurtful?

Kapitel 25

Ally

She had actually wanted to come clean with him once and for all, but when he got so mad, she’d lost her train of thought. And then he’d said something that, although it might have been true, still hurt her terribly. Ally had felt caught out, exposed, but she hadn’t backed down.

John’s pupils had gone to pinpoints when she’d challenged him to think how he’d react if she really was only here for the inheritance. She’d felt goosebumps rise on her arms as he’d murmured his response dangerously quietly. Even enraged, he was breathtakingly good looking.

Ally wasn’t ashamed of any of it! Nothing she’d done occasioned shame. He didn’t have to guard her pride or her reputation from anything or anybody. Nonetheless, she still had a bad conscience for lying to him out of sheer greed.

She had the feeling that something inside of her would break apart and disappear forever, just dissolve, leaving only emptiness behind.

Pride had always been her greatest weakness. It made her vulnerable and unpredictable. It meant that sometimes she looked back on her own reactions and shook her head. Her father had always claimed that it came from her Italian temperament. But he’d never explained just how she could get a handle on the issue. He’d probably been the wrong man to give advice in this area, being not just Italian, but Mafia, and known for not backing down from anybody.

Furious, Ally slammed the door to her room shut – she would have turned the key in the lock, if there’d been one, but instead she threw herself on the bed and buried her face in a pillow. Muffled, livid cries that she couldn’t hold back anymore resounded in the room but were swallowed by the thickly insulated walls and door.

She urgently needed her own apartment, which was really no problem, given her fraudulently obtained inheritance. But the thought of leaving John – again, possibly forever – pained her more than she would have liked.

***

The last few hours she’d spent online, looking for an apartment. There were ten that caught her eye in particular. She wanted to rent, for she wasn’t sure if she’d be staying in New York for good. She didn’t know if she could bear being so near John without having what she’d wanted from him for years.

She wanted something small, something neat and tidy. Somewhere she could cook and read her books and just feel at home. Something that was her very own. She liked this thought, even though the idea of leaving John was demoralizing. Heartened overall, she grabbed her phone and dialed the first number on the short list.

The rental agency picked up on the second ring.

“Hello, my name is Allison Galletti and I’m calling about the two-bedroom apartment near Central Park?” The nice woman on the other end filled her in on the details and promised she’d send a full write-up.

“Great!” Ally gave her her email address before asking: “When can I see the place?”

But she missed the woman’s answer, for a jolt went through her arm as somebody grabbed the phone from her hand. Shocked, she spun around and found herself looking right into John’s enraged face. He was standing there in shorts and a white shirt, pressing the red button emphatically, ending the promising conversation.

“What’s the big idea?” she asked, too confused to be really angry.

“The big idea? You’re trying to find an apartment behind my back.” He smelled of alcohol.

“Are you drunk, John Dempsey?”

“I treated myself to a whiskey. I’m not drunk by any stretch!” He roared. His eyes were dark and his entire demeanor bespoke sheer fury.

Ally took a deep breath. “Then you’re just being oversensitive.”

“Oversensitive?” John repeated, flabbergasted. She’d managed to surprise him, at least for a brief moment.

“Yes. After all, I have to stand on my own two feet at some point. Once I move out, you can get back to the way things were.”

“The way things were?” Was he parroting her? Why did he keep repeating everything? “And what if that’s not what I want?”

Stunned, she looked up at him and stood up. “What do you mean?” Hope spread warmly through her chest, but Ally suppressed it. Nothing was worse than that disappointment that came after false hope.

“Maybe I like your company and don’t want to go without it.” Observant as a panther on the prowl, he stood there while everything in her cried out with joy over his words. He could wrap her around his little finger just like that. One minute, she was hopping mad at him and the next she was purring like a kitten.

“But...” she stammered, not even capable of forming a complete sentence.

“It’s all right, Ally. I admit I’ve had a hand in this messed up situation and I’m sorry for it. I probably should have asked you to marry me instead of just acting like it was a done deal.” His words were pretty close to a full apology. He seemed repentent – and there was something else in his eyes that she couldn’t quite decipher.

Trying to meet him halfway, Ally laid her hand on his arm consolingly. “It’s okay, John. I wasn’t exactly nice to you. I’m sorry I married you to get my inheritance back. Forgive me – I didn’t want to go back out there without it. I’m so done with the life I’ve lead for the past four years. But I don’t want you to be embarrassed to be seen with me. I can’t just sweep the past under the rug. Neither can you. It’s best if I just find my own place.”

He evaluated her with a stony expression. “How is it embarrassing for me to be seen with you?” He had spoken the words in a dangerously soft tone, making her take a step back involuntarily.

Ally became nervous. Fretfully, she played with the hem of her tee shirt. “Well... you know, I always saw you in the magazines going out with this or that model, or read about whichever starlet you were sleeping with. And then look at me. I’m short, curvy, and those four years I worked my knuckles to the bone have left their mark.” She looked at the floor sheepishly. She could feel the blood pulse into her cheeks. “The press will have a field day with us.”

“Are you serious?”

In answer, Ally simply nodded, for her heart had started beating wildly in her chest. She had indirectly admitted that it mattered what he thought of her. She really shouldn’t have, because he might just be able to see what was in her heart. That, after all these years, nothing had changed about how she felt about him. Did she really want him to know that?

With one stride he covered the distance between them and stood directly in front of her, so that she could feel the heat of his body. “So you read those articles that came out in the tabloids?”

Not sure what to do, she starred at his broad chest and nodded silently. Raising her eyes to his was not an option. She would have lost herself completely.

“I admit, there were some women I couldn’t refuse, but you can’t believe everything you read. I’m not a nymphomaniac.” Cautiously, he took her chin in his hand and made her look at him.

Ally gulped to get rid of the lump in her throat. Decisively, he stepped closer and, as he pressed Ally’s back up against the wall, she realized that there was no more escape. She had to confront him and her feelings.

She heard his amused snort. “I want to tell you once and for all why I went out with those women. Our dear John Dempsey is but a man, not a holy figure. And I never knew if I would see you again. Then the thing with your dad happened and I looked everywhere for you. Believe me, Ally, I never forgot you. Not for one second.”

“John...” Ally stammered and was ashamed she couldn’t find the right words.

“I only ever wanted to kiss your lips.” His lips tensed seductively, as though he wanted to dare her to protest what was coming next. An animal promise. “Please stay.”

The two words unleashed a bevy of butterflies that threatened to take over her insides completely. They fluttered wildly, making Ally dizzy. Or was that because of his nearness? His muscular body pressed hard against hers. She trembled and a moan escaped her mouth as John began to kiss her passionately. His kiss alone was enough to drive her crazy.

He ran his skillful fingers up her neck and took the band from her hair. She’d never been kissed like this. It was wild, urgent, and erotic. Not wanting to be outdone, she returned his kisses and strokes with the same passion.

Then suddenly he took his lips from hers, although his body was still tightly drawn to hers. “You can’t imagine how I’ve had to fight to control myself in these last days. I wanted nothing more than to touch you. You’re even more beautiful than before. It never occurred to me to be embarrassed for you and I regret those things I said earlier. I was hurt and wanted to injure you as you had injured me.”

The room was dusky, for the sun was about to go down. In this light, his face was even more handsome, more desirable. She closed her eyes as she let his words sink in. “I never forgot you either, John. And if it hadn’t been for my stupid pride and my fear of my father’s enemies, I would have returned to you.”

This time her kissed her with even more passion and lifter her up without interrupting the kiss. Lovingly, he laid her on the bed and slide on top of her. She was seized with excitation as never before. Her body reacted to him and his tender touch like an instrument for a vituoso musician.

Everything in her cried out for him as he continued to caress her and slowly undressed her. Her hands clawed at his dark locks and pulled him in even closer. There was no chance to refuse – her willing body wouldn’t hear of it. She received and gave back in the rhythm of the most ancient human choreography.

Hot fingers touched her breasts, stroking her until she had the feeling of losing her senses. His lips explored this sensitive skin with determination. He played his expert tongue across her, throwing her into ecstasy. She reared up and her pelvis brushed the proof of his lust. Startled, she drew in a quick breath, only to press her hips closer to him in the next breath.

John groaned in near agony. “Oh, Ally, I can’t contain myself much longer like this.”

A sudden feeling of power made her smile then and she pulsed her whole body under his expectantly. There was a pull deep inside her that commanded her and aroused the wish to be taken. She’d never known such lust and yet she embraced it. She wanted John and he her. Was there any reason not to?

While her powers of reason gave their last gasp, John’s lips wandered further to the south, leaving hot kisses across her stomach. With a gentle push her opened her legs and found the center of her lust. He urged her on further with his mouth and tongue.

Ally cried out and clutched at the sheets. John evidently felt encouraged by this and continued what he’d started. She called out his name, whimpering with lust before finally finding the release her body had so desired.

In the next moment, John was raised up over her and grabbing her hips. Her mind reawoke languidly from its rapture and she opened her eyes. He was looking at her with a dark, seductive gaze. His strong body aroused her anew as he held her, looking deep into her eyes.

She drew in breath suddenly as fear spread through her. “John...” but he misunderstood her tone and brought his lips to hers. His kiss was so full of tenderness and tasted so much like her own lust that she forgot to protest further, relaxing into him. But in the next moment she felt him in her most secret place and cried out as he slipped in. She waited for the hot, stabbing pain, but there was nothing of the sort, only a feeling of pressure that was just as quickly removed.

John froze, not moving another inch. When she looked at him she saw how hard he was fighting to contain himself. He must have felt it inside her. With enormous strain, breathless, he asked: “Is this supposed to be some kind of joke, Ally?”

She couldn’t answer him, felt such shame at his words but, at the same time, she was overwhelmed with the intimacy of the near union of their two bodies – it filled her with an indescribable happiness.

His dismissive snort and the way he drew away from her hurt her more than she was willing to admit. Shaken, John looked to the ceiling, then back to her, then, with another snort, stormed out of the room. The slam of the door behind him gave her a start.

With tears in her eyes, she grabbed for the duvet and pulled it over her head. In no time at all, the pillow grew wet with hot tears as she cried for sheer humiliation.

Chapter 26

John

He wasn’t angry, even if his tone had suggested something different. Really, he felt – deeply honored. But the newly obvious lie stuck in his craw, spreading its poison.

She hadn’t answered him, but she didn’t have to. John, just like Ally, had been incapable of saying anything more in that moment. He had to get out of the room, otherwise he risked doing or saying something he’d regret. With extreme effort, he’d raised himself up and then looked down at her. He was shaken to his core. Everything was so different than he’d imagined it. Ally had wanted to give him something very precious. And he could hardly look at her. As he finally did meet her eyes, he saw shame there. With a snort, he’d fled from the room, slamming the door.

A few minutes later and he was hurtling down the highway, letting the wind in his hair clear his mind.

John had almost taken Ally’s virginity! Clearly, she wasn’t pregnant – she’d been lying to him this whole time. Frustrated, he pushed the pedal to the floor. Why hadn’t she been honest with him? He would have helped her without the lie, would have transferred Calogero’s inheritance to her anyway, even if she hadn’t married him, even if she wasn’t pregnant.

Didn’t she know him at all?

Really, she hardly knew him anymore, for he had changed. The young man she’d fallen in love with had been impulsive and, at times, had treated other people wrongly.  But in her presence, he was transported back to old patterns of behavior and behaved like a complete moron.

He suddenly became aware of just what an idiot he’d been. He had abandoned a young woman whom he’d almost deflowered back in his apartment, leaving without so much as a kind word. How stupid could he be? It didn’t get any worse than that.

The tires squealed as he took the next exit and drove in the opposite direction, back to his place. He had to remedy the situation before he lost her forever.

Hastily, he took the stairs two at a time. All the rooms were lit up against the dark. The door to her room was closed. Determined to clear things up between them, he knocked.

Nothing.

Undaunted, he turned the handle and opened the door. Her room was empty. His heart pounding with fear, he ran through the rooms of the apartment. But Ally had disappeared.

Chapter 27

Ally

She cried until she was out of tears. How could she have been so stupid? She had wanted to tell him before it happened, but her desire had catapulted every shred of logic from her thought processes. Without hesitation, she’d given him her body. But John could tell without it being spoken.

It wasn’t as though she regretted it. Not in the slightest. She’d always wanted to grant him this. She’d never trusted it to anyone else. No one else had loved her as he had.

But the way he’d looked – as though she’d doused him with acid. He had hardly  been able to control himself. And now he was gone. The sound of the elevator had torn her from her grief, pulling her back to the present. It was time to go. How often had she pulled up stakes like this before? How often had she started over someplace new? Too often, but she had to now, one last  time. The way things stood now, she couldn’t even met his eyes anymore.

Quickly, she pulled on jeans, a shirt, and a jacket. Apart from the documents John had given her that morning and her small suitcase, she took nothing. She didn’t have anything more and she wasn’t going to take anything from him. Just as he had refused her gift, so she accepted nothing more from him. Until she grabbed the small pile of white material on the chair by the door. His shirt, with his scent – this she would take. She wanted at least this. So that she could convince herself that he was still with her.

It was time to start over. Where to? For cash, she still had the month’s wages that she’d taken from Alexej’s register. That would do for now.

Something jingled in the fat envelope. Should she just do it? Did she really want to? Yes. It was time her way lead her back home.

***

It was already the middle of the night by the time Ally arrived at Galletti House. The taxi had cost a fortune – after paying the driver, she didn’t have that much cash left.

She made her way down the driveway, trying to make as little noise as possible, which was no small feat, given the gravel crunching under her feet at every step. The pool house, where she’d spent the previous night, lay darkened now before her. The big main house still scared her and she couldn’t imagine sleeping there alone under the best conditions. Even if John had been with her, the memories would have come for her with greedy talons. She wasn’t up to it yet and couldn’t actually tell right now if she’d ever be capable.

Decided, Ally ripped open the envelope and took the little bundle of keys out. The first key fit, she was relieved to find, and she went in. The moonlight bathed the place in enough light that she didn’t need to turn on any lamps. That was better – the better not to wake Graciela or her husband and make them wonder if the place had been broken into. Ally wanted to be alone, to have time to think and come to terms with her future. A future without John, even when this made her heart hurt.

On the way she’d asked the taxi driver to stop at a gas station, for she needed at least a little food to get by for the moment. Ally unpacked the orange juice, crackers, and cream cheese, sat at the little table, and ate the simple meal. Her thoughts circled around John and the unbelievable tenderness he’d shown her in those sweet moments. How was she supposed to live without it after that delicious taste she’d gotten this afternoon? How could she ever truly live again without his touch?

Feeling deep sadness and loss, she cleared the table and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. The bathtub filled slowly and the pool house filled with the relaxing scent of lavender. She enjoyed lying in the hot water, but the peace she’d been searching for didn’t come. Her thoughts continued to circle around John. They’d never been closer than they had today. She had wanted to resist him, hadn’t wanted to let on how much she felt for him. But that afternoon, she’d lost her self-mastery, so deeply had his words touched her soul. Words that had given her hope, words that promised she’d finally get what she’d wanted for so many years. Him – John Dempsey.

Believe me, Ally, I never forgot you. Not for one second.

Her heart beat wildly even now, thinking of it. I only ever wanted to kiss your lips. Please stay.

And yet he’d hadn’t taken her gift. Her lies had hurt him deeply. Should she fight for him? Explain to him why she’d lied? Would he understand? Or would she be better off seducing him? No – he wouldn’t let himself so close to her again.

When it became clear that the hot water wasn’t granting her any peace, she got out of the tub, dried off, and put on the white shirt John had left in her room. She buried her nose in it – it smelled so deliciously like him, for a moment she felt a deep calm. She felt safe, as though he were holding her in his arms, protecting her from the world. Gradually, her body relaxed, the spin of her thoughts slowed, and her eyelids grew heavy.

Kapitel 28

John

The very moment he entered the apartment he suspected that Ally wasn’t there anymore. Her presence was palpably missing; a dark emptiness filled the rooms. It was the first instance he noticed how much she’d added to his life. The well lit rooms couldn’t make up for the dark fact that she wasn’t there. After searching the entire place for her, he returned finally to her bedroom. Everything was just as it had been, except that her little suitcase and the envelope he’d handed her that morning were missing. Even the wedding dress was still there, in the closet, which gave him an unpleasant pang.

An odd feeling of loss began to fill him. She had left him. No wonder – he’d acted like an idiot by just disappearing like that. But, in that moment, he hadn’t been capable of talking with her about it. As it was, his body, which wanted so desperately to take her, had made it impossible to form a single sensible sentence. Impossible. But he shouldn’t have left the apartment. It would have been better if he’d talked with her, started a conversation about why she’d lied like that. And once he’d heard her answer, it would have been up to him to finish what he’d started in that bed.

That said, he’d never been very good at understanding and showing emotions. His mother, the junkie, had driven that out of him pretty early on. John had learned to shut off his feelings, almost at the press of a button. He functioned like a well oiled machine. It had been necessary for his survival back then.

But now John had to find Ally at all costs. That was the one thing in his head at that moment. Where could she be? The shit hole where she’d once lived was surely rented out to someone else already. Had she returned to Galletti House? He couldn’t imagine, but he pulled out his phone and called the Moltisantis.

“Galletti House, Graciela speaking,” she answered after the second ring.

“Graciela, it’s me, John.” He couldn’t help but notice how breathless he sounded, but he didn’t care. “Ally has disappeared. Is she there?”

“Disappeared? No, she’s not here. But I’ll go check in the main house and the pool house to make sure. If she’s here, I’ll call back, okay?” She spoke to him in a soft, calm tone.

“Okay, thank you, Grace,” he said, resigned.

“Don’t mention it, my friend. Take a second to calm down a bit – maybe she’ll just show up back there in a minute. If she turns up here, I’ll call.”

She didn’t call back. John himself called her back several more times. Each time, he got the same answer: Ally was gone.

Kapitel 29

Ally

The next morning, Ally went to Graciela. It was still very early and she’d slept maybe three hours, at most. Ally knew that the Moltisantis were up and at ‘em at daybreak. They once told her that they’d gotten up at the same time for so many years, they no longer needed an alarm. Their inner clock worked better than any electronic device.

And, indeed, there was already a light burning in the little building. She knocked on the door quietly and soon enough heard footsteps.

“Ally!” The fierce embrace the older woman gave her robbed Ally of her breath for a second. “We were so worried. Where were you? We lay awake until a little before midnight, in case you showed up, but at some point we surrendered to sleep...”

“Oh! Did John call you?” She felt her conscience tugging at her, along with a bit of glee that he’d missed her.

“Yes, yesterday afternoon. What happened? Was there an argument? You just married! Oh, Ally!” Again, Graciela cradled her head on her generous breast, cutting off her airway. How should she answer that? “Here, come in, I’ll make you some breakfast.”

After Ally had gotten enough breakfast and coffee into her, Graciela brought her chair around the table with her own mug and demanded: “Tell me.” Just like she used to. How often had Ally sat at this very table and poured out her heart to this woman? So many times!

“I had sex with John!” she blurted out, earning a confused look.

“Uh, Ally... That’s usually the case, when you’re married.” Graciela winked at her, trying to maintain an earnest expression, but there was a smile waiting at the corner of her lips.

“Yeah, normally, but with John and me it’s a little... more complicated.” She lowered her head and poked at her eggs.

“How so? Better start from the beginning.”

And that’s just what Ally did. She told Graciela about the night she’d found her father, her mother, and her sister. As she described what happened, tears rolled down her cheeks and the housekeeper’s, but the two remained there, sitting and talking through it. Graciela kept on listening as Ally opened up about everything. She told her about the four years that followed, which didn’t take long, because there wasn’t much worth explaining. By contrast she described that evening when John came back into her life in intimate detail.

“And then suddenly John was standing there. He even gave Alexej a beating for insulting me.” Pride flamed up in her chest. She felt honored to mean so much to John that he’d fought for her. This sort of thing must be in her very genetic makeup, the fact that women wanted to be protected, as in prehistory. Although Ally didn’t agree with fighting in general, John was the glowing exception. John was really an exception in every way. Ally’s very own personal exception.

“He misunderstood something that night and started thinking I was pregnant, so he acted like it was a done deal and set a wedding date. And that’s where I tripped up – by not telling him the truth.” Anxiously, Ally waited for a lecture from Graciela, but the older woman just looked at her and gestured with her hands impatiently – keep going! “I didn’t tell him the truth because I wanted my inheritance. Don’t think less of me. I just couldn’t go back to that life I’ve led for the past four years. So I let him believe it. And after we drove away from here yesterday morning, he gave me this fat envelope and the keys to the house.”

“And? Go on!” Graciela ordered.

“Yesterday afternoon we started talking truthfully. I wanted to tell him the whole truth, really I did.” Ally buried her head in her hands and whispered: “I confessed why I married him, then we fought, and then he came up to me. We had sex or, actually, we almost had sex. I’m still a virgin and when he discovered that, he stopped immediately and ran out of the room. A little later I heard him leave the apartment. And so I came here. I snuck into the pool house like a thief, so no one noticed me.” Ally had reached the end of her composure; she could no longer stop the tears from coursing down her cheeks.

Graciela snorted indignantly. “You two deserve each other!” She spat. “One lies like a dog, the other abandons the woman whose virginity he almost just took. Really, I don’t know which one of you is worse.”

The comforting words that Ally had hoped for went unsaid – after all, John was as much Graciela’s adopted child as she was.

“I’m going to call John so he knows you’re safe. Believe me, child, he’s beside himself with worry for you. Don’t think for a moment you don’t matter to him. He lost his heart to you early on and really suffered when Calogero refused the marriage. In those four years you were gone, he was never really at peace. You committed a grave sin by lying to him. John was always on your side and only wanted to help – he didn’t deserve to be deceived like that!” With another sniff, Graciela left the kitchen, leaving Ally with her whirling thoughts.

Chapter 30

John

He had the feeling he’d only been asleep for a moment when the telephone rang adamantly, jolting him awake. His neck hurt. He was clearly too tall to sleep on the couch.

As the memory of the previous day came back to him, like a series of gunshots, he grabbed for the phone, which almost fell out of his hand.

“Yeah?” It was more of a hoarse scratching than a word.

“John? It’s Graciela.”

“Grace, is she there?” He interrupted before she could even give reason for her call.

“Yes, she’s here. Don’t worry. She’s fine – too good, if you ask me. She explained everything.” Mrs. Moltisanti’s voice sounded angry.

Too good? What did she mean by that? “I’m on the way.”

He hung up before even getting an answer. In a rush, he showered and changed clothes. He couldn’t possibly show up for Ally in the same clothes he’d slept in.

Decisively, he went to his office and took the watch out of the safe. He’d never forgotten the words she’d said to him when he’d finally left his old life behind him. The compass points to me. You’ll always be able to find me with it. Finally, he’d found the right direction. Relief flooded him.

This past night he’d spent in the big apartment without her had been simply awful. He couldn’t deny anymore how he felt about her and he would finally tell her – he had decided on this. Ally had to know how much she meant to him and then she’d be free to decide if she wanted to spend her life with him. How could he have been so stupid? He hadn’t really understood at first what she was thinking and why she’d lied to him. Now, from a little distance, it was clear to him why she’d reacted the way she had. That fear of once again being left with nothing, not knowing what and when you’d eat again – that was enough to drive her to lie. Hadn’t he also led that desperate life? Why hadn’t he talked to her about it right from the start? And why hadn’t she trusted him?

She was Catholic, raised by nuns, was 23 and hadn’t given herself to anyone. But yesterday she’d been ready to take that final step with him. And what had he done? Left! He shook his head at what a nincompoop he’d been. A frustrated snort escaped him. He grabbed the keys and left the apartment.

As he left the elevator and entered the underground garage, he noticed that the motion-activated light didn’t go on. It stayed pitch black and there was a creepy silence that made the fine hair on his arms go up. His internal alarm system, which he’d first fine tuned as a young man, went off, but it proved to be a little too slow these days. John didn’t notice the attacker until it was too late. The only thing he could do was press the button on his phone – he’d had it programmed by an IT genius years ago. Within seconds, identical emails or texts were sent out to a select list of recipients. 

Chapter 31

Ally

“He’s coming here.” Graciela sat down again across from Ally. “You should think about what you want from him and then talk to him like an adult. He’s earned your honesty. It’ll be a while before he’s here – you have enough time to figure it out.”

“He’s coming here? But...”

“No buts! You have to confront your problems, not run from them. You are a Galletti!” She emphasized these last words by slapping the table top vehemently with an open hand.

Ally cowered, but then she straightened and took Graciela’s words to heart. “You’re right. I’ll talk with him and clear the air once and for all.”

The older woman sought out the younger’s eyes. “Do you love him?”

Ally nodded in answer.

“Then go get him! He’s actually been yours for a long time – you just have to show him what he means to you.” Tenderly, she stroked Ally’s arm with her wrinkled hands.

“I’ve been in love with him forever, since the first day he arrived. He fascinated me. I was only eleven but even then I knew that someday I’d marry John.” Ally’s face brightened into a smile. “But somehow, it’s definitely not how I pictured it.”

“The important thing is that you make it right now.” Laboriously, Graciela rose from the chair. “Come, let’s make ourselves useful and clean up the kitchen a bit.”

***

Three hours later, John still hadn’t arrived. Graciela was terribly worried. She’d tried to call him several times, but every time she got voicemail. For her part, Ally had retreated to the pool house, suspecting that John had changed his mind. The lies and the betrayal weighed so heavily on their friendship that they couldn’t be forgiven just like that. She understood him and yet she cried hot tears of disappointment into a pillow.

Ally started from her brooding when she heard a loud knock on the door and then someone opening it. At first she thought it could be John, furious at her, but instead, there stood Graciela, totally beside herself.

“They have John...” Her hysterical squeak would have been funny had she spoken any other words, but, hearing them now, Ally shot up out of bed and ran to the woman as though stuck with a hot poker.

“What do you mean?” Ally managed to control her voice with only great effort. She would have liked to take this dear family friend by the shoulders and shake her until she got an answer.

Graciela held up her mobile phone. “He sent his emergency message to everyone.” And just at the moment Ally’s fingers touched the device, it rang.

Terrified, her eyes darted between Graciela’s and the phone. An iron fist clutched her heart, which was hammering wildly in her ribcage. “Yes?” She answered the call, assuming that Graciela was in no shape to carry on a conversation.

Chapter 32

John

Every bone in his body ached. These guys had really laid into him and now he was, pretty much Hollywood style, in a damp cellar, chained to a metal chair. It could only be the Corellis. John took a look around. Gray stone on the walls and the floor was likewise of cobblestone. In a corner, he could see his mobile phone, or at least the shards of it that lay strewn about there.

Yesterday, the news of John and Ally’s wedding had hit the stands and the goons promptly pounced on him. He was deeply glad that Ally had chosen to take off when she had. This way, she was at least safe from them for the time being. Now John just had to play his cards right and bluff skillfully, for he already suspected what was at work here.

He was freezing and his left eye was swollen shut. How could he have been so stupid? He really should have increased the security as soon as Ally had arrived. It bothered him that he’d been so careless. His existing security measures had made him complacent and given him a false sense that nothing could go wrong.

The click of heels on the stone floor aroused his attention, tearing him from his thoughts. His stomach tightened, for everything made sense now and, as he looked at the young woman, her gaze confirmed all his fears.

“Hello, John, long time no see.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while, and the circumstances could be better – at least for me. Hello, Liliana.”

“I heard you got married.” John answered with a nod, observing the woman’s every movement. He didn’t really know how to take her presence here. She didn’t say a word about Ally. Didn’t she know that he’d married her former best friend? “Yeah, well, one of us has gained someone, the other has lost someone.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, although he’d known for some time.

“Last week my father was killed in jail.” She looked at John reproachfully, standing before him with crossed arms, but he didn’t give her the satisfaction of even a hint of fear. His gaze revealed nothing.

“My condolences.” John had known this perfectly well, had hoped that old Corelli’s children were smart enough to steer clear of him, like their father had. But his hope seemed to have been misguided.

“Spare me the empty cliches.” Her voice sounded shrill and echoed eerily off the naked walls. “Why do people always say they’re sorry? Are you sorry that you put my father in jail where he was eventually stabbed in the back? Or are you sorry that you didn’t do it yourself? Because that’s more your size.” She raised an eyebrow provocatively.

“I’m sorry you lost your father, Liliana. You were always just a pawn. That’s why I’m...”

“Shut up, you liar!” She screamed at him. From experience, John knew to measure his words carefully in front of people in such a state of mind and also never to underestimate them, so in this instance he held him tongue. He hadn’t lied, for, in actuality, Lilian was someone to pity. Until a few days ago, she hadn’t even known what her family really did for a living. When he’d last spoken with her, she’d still been under the impression that her father was an investment banker. And she thought he was in jail for a white collar crime, that her brother had continued the family interest on the stock exchange. What exactly had happened to put her in the picture now? At the very least, she knew that he was responsible for her father’s time behind bars.

“You’re probably asking yourself why I had you brought here.”  She looked down at him darkly.

John decided to play his trump. What other chance did he have? “You want to use me to get at Ally.”

Liliana’s features showed confusion. “Ally? Why would I want anything with Ally?”

Internally, John was overjoyed – he was on the right track. She didn’t know how Ally fit into the picture. “Don’t you want to finish what your father and your brother started four years ago?”

The young woman swayed slightly as she took in this information. She felt for the second chair and sat down on it. “Four years ago?” she whispered, looking at the floor.

“Yes. Four years ago your family decided to end Calogero Galletti. Unfortunately, they made a few mistakes. They had decided to eliminate Calogero Galletti and had agreed to hire someone on the outside to do the deed, for reasons of security. You know that the Mafia has been under close observation by the FBI since the RICO act.” Lili’s gaze swept to the little window above them and her eyes shone with tears. “The contract killers were flown in special from Italy but then they messed that shit up royally. They chose the wrong day to show up at the Gallettis. They’d originally planned to go on a day when the women weren’t normally at home. Wednesdays were always their salon days. You were usually there, too. Do you remember?” Lili nodded silently. “The killers mixed up the days and arrived on the scene on a Tuesday. They caught the whole family unawares. Except for Ally, who’d snuck out of the house to be with you, as you know. Obviously, the killers totally lost their heads. Sure, they killed Calogero, but raping and murdering Ally’s mother and sister? That was never part of the plan.”

Slowly, she met his eyes and he could see horror there. She hadn’t known any of this; it would be his defense, his one chance of getting out of this cellar hole alive.

“The Gallettis... Ally was my best friend,” she stammered.

“I know, Lili.”

“But why would my father do something so awful? Our entire families were friends.” Lili seemed suddenly powerless – he’d really thrown her for a loop with this story.

“Calogero always stood on principle and was always loyal to his own family. That also meant he didn’t make a lot of concessions for families that did anything – impertinent. Why should he?” He tilted his head and observed her closely. “So it happened that both got into a power struggle because your father started to interfere in a big way with the garbage routes. But that was Calogero’s second source of cash flow and they had to remain perfectly clean. Yeah, so that was the first problem.”

“On this terrible night, Ally was secretly with me, otherwise she would have also been killed. But she never got in touch with me again after that. Never! I always assumed that something awful happened to her. Do you know where she is?” As she formulated the question she sounded more decisive and straightened up in her chair.

“We got married. She’s expecting our first child.” As he’d hoped, her face lit up with joy. And, even though everything up until the wedding had been a lie, he was pleased that he could use Ally’s lie to such good effect.

“She’s alive? Married? Baby? But why...” Before she could inquire why her friend hadn’t been in touch, she came upon the answer herself. “Oh, God! That’s why you weaseled your way into our family, because you wanted to avenge the Gallettis.” She drew a deep breath. “I didn’t know, John. I didn’t know anything about this.”

“I know, Lili,” he said gently, for he’d gotten to know Liliana Corelli and knew what kind of person she was. “To be honest, that was my insurance policy against your father and brother.”

She looked at him questioningly. “How so?”

“I blackmailed them so they’d leave Ally and me in peace. Otherwise I said I would tell you about their activities. That’s the only way to do business with the mafia.” A tear slipped down her cheek. He would have liked to wipe it away, but he was still tied up – and still feeling cautious. John trusted almost no one, including Liliana. He was about to ask her to untie him when something occurred to him. “How did you find out about them?”

“Mario was talking with his buddies about you – how you were a part of my father’s death, but he had to let it slide. I couldn’t understand it. Oh, God, John. I’m not any better than my father and my brother.” Horrified, she put her hand on her mouth and sucked in air sharply. John just looked at her sadly and let her talk. What could he have said, anyway? “I got a couple guys and set them on you. And now you’re here, in the belly of the beast. I fed you to the lions, or to Mario, at least.” The shock was evident in her pretty face. “I called him before I came in here. He’ll be here in a few minutes. He sounded upset and told me not to talk to you. Now I understand why.”

And as soon as Mario arrived, he’d find out that Liliana knew everything and that John had no other cards to play. He was finished. Nothing and no one could save him from this crazy asshole Mario. He had to get out of here.

But in the next moment he realized something that made the blood run cold in his veins. He was actually very similar to Mario, so he’d played out in his head how he himself would have reacted. If his biggest enemy really carried out what he thought he would, it was worse than John’s own death.

His head spun. If he was right about this jerk, then Mario had already been in contact with Ally, who now had nothing more in mind than saving him – John. He felt a knot in his stomach that defied his will. Fear! He was actually afraid. It was a feeling he hadn’t had in a long time.

“You have to get out of here. As fast as possible.” Yes, Lili was absolutely right! She messed around with the hand cuffs and John had to fight to keep down an impatient snort.

“Where are we, Lili?” John hazarded, trying to keep his voice calm so that he didn’t upset the woman any more. When they’d grabbed him, he’d lost his orientation – someone had put something over his head. But now he had to know in order to come up with a plan.

“You in our villa. We’re in the wine cellar.” At last, the hand cuffs clicked open and he rose hastily, strided over to the door, and looked cautiously out into the hallway. Tears were running down Lili’s cheeks, evidence of her bad conscience, and she seemed panicked. She was just one step away from being hysterical. She wasn’t going to be much help to him in this state.

John rubbed his wrists, which were painful, now that the blood was running back into his hands. “Is there a back exit?”

“Yes!” She looked at him with rising hope. “This way!”

Together they ran through the cellar, which was full of twists and turns, being careful not to make a sound and watching behind them to see if anyone was following. But, for now, it was just them. The cellar must run the length of the whole building. It was enormous, the number of rooms they passed staggering.

Finally, Lili lead him into a narrow room with a wooden hatch. Shelves and shelves of wine lined the otherwise bare walls. “The hatch leads to the yard. I’ll open it, but I don’t know if we should just climb out right away. When Mario arrives, he’ll park right next to it and you’d run right into him.” She sounded doubtful.

“There’s no other exit? Or a secret passageway that would put me in a quiet section of the house?” The risk of being caught was too high for him to just waltz right out the front door.

Lili shook her head and her eyes filled with tears again. On any other occasion, he would have felt compelled to comfort her, but at this moment, he was no comfort to anyone. His brain was working at high speed and for a moment he was right back in the old days with Galletti, weighing the positives and negatives of a situation. If he stayed, he was dead. There was nothing in the cellar to defend himself with. Taking the normal exit was much too dangerous. But then he had an idea.

Chapter 33

Ally

The phone conversation hadn’t lasted long. She’d just had to hear that her worst nightmares were confirmed.  Now she felt a tumult of emotion.

Mario Corelli had been on the phone, the brother of her friend from kindergarten. Even back then, she hadn’t been able to stand him – he was an arrogant son of a bitch who thought that the world belonged to him. And now he wanted in her in exchange for John’s life.

Did he really think she’d believe a word of what he said? She knew this kind of man, and Mario in particular. When she was younger, he’d tried to ensnare her, but even back then his words had fallen on deaf ears. Never in a million years. Once it had gone too far and he’d tried to kiss her, whereupon she’d shown him her fun, a Ruger LCR. He’d sworn his vengeance then. Was this it? It had been so many years. Or had John’s insurance policy sprung a leak?

Ally’s father had insisted that she be kept out of Mafia business. Nonetheless, he’d wanted her to know that he worked with two-faced, dangerous types, so, at ten years old, she’d started learning to use the smaller calibers. Later, once she’d grown stronger, she’d tried her hand with the larger guns.

Self defense had been seen as a regular sport that both girls had been required to participate in three times a week. There they’d been taught the various techniques at a place where it wasn’t so much about earning a belt as about being able to put someone out of commission in an emergency scenario – if not kill. Unfortunately, it had been no help to her mother and Maria.

Once again, the images from that night shot through her head and her stomach clenched. Quickly, she ran to the toilet and threw up. Graciela helped her get a hold of herself, stroking her back and putting a cool washcloth on her neck. “You must be brave.”

Brave? How was she supposed to manage that? “We need a plan, but my head’s not up to it at the moment.”

Graciela grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look her in the eye. “There is nothing to plan, Ally. You simply won’t meet their demands. It’s not in John’s interest. He wouldn’t want that.”

Ally averted her gaze and said with emphasis: “I’m not going to leave him in the lurch. I can’t live with losing anyone else. I wouldn’t be able to bear it – I’d rather try to rescue him.”

Graciela’s lips trembled. Overcome with emotion, she turned away and went to the window. “Good!” She said finally, surprising Ally. “Then we need a solid plan. John gave me the login info for an online account. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with it! But he told me if anything ever happened to him, to forward the files. Will you help me?”

]Ally’s head was spinning – she had to know what was up with this account. Maybe it would help them put together a good plan. Every bit of help mattered, at this point.

***

A short time later, all three of them sat at Ally’s laptop. Both Moltisantis were totally undone. John was the only child they’d ever had, with the exception of Ally. But Ally had had parents, in contrast to John, who had promptly become the child of their hearts.

Mr. Moltisanti didn’t utter a word – he was in no shape to do so. Graciela, trying to be patient, fretted with her tear-soaked handkerchief.

Ally pulled up the account for which Graciela had given her the password. A pop-up window sprang up and she read out loud:

“Dear Graciela, dear Alberto. Not to sound too dramatic, but if you’re reading this, something has happened to me.” Ally looked at the two briefly and then read on. John wrote about the investigations that the FBI had initiated into the Corellis and so if they ran into problems, they should contact a man named Carson. He was the only person they could trust. John had also created a type of life insurance policy against the Corelli family, so if they needed to black mail them, they’d have to open an additional document.

Ally clicked on it. “Shoot, it’s asking for another password.” Disappointed, she turned away from the machine, but Graciela smiled.

»Ian McDermott!« She said triumphantly.

»Ian McDermott?« Ally echoed.

Graciela almost stared holes in her head. “He revealed it to me when he was giving me the login info. That’s his real name, the one his mother gave him.”

Ally’s mouth hung open. For years she’d tried to get him to tell her his real name, but he’d guarded that secret closely. Whenever she’d asked, he’d always just said that the boy she was asking about had died the evening her father had taken him in.

Hastily, she typed in the letters and stared, enthralled, at the screen. When a new window opened, she didn’t trust her eyes.

It was John’s will!

“He’s crazy!” Ally blurted out. “He wrote a will? And how on earth are we supposed to help him with that?”

Graciela laid a calming hand on her shoulder. “Let’s read what’s in it. Perhaps there’s something here we can do something with. And if not, we’ll call Lilo, who will probably know what this is all about.”

... Ally scanned the text, stopping at a certain point where it said: ... Liliana Corelli should receive the letter in my safe, if he can’t be found

Quickly, she kept scrolling and there, believe it or not, were 20 different locations to which he wrote that the letter should be delivered, to a number of additional people, who, in turn, should forward it to Lili in the event of his death. He had nailed everything down. One of the many letters would doubtless reach the recipient.

Ally was curious by nature and could hardly contain herself. Swiftly, she ran to the main house, pulled the key out of her purse, and ran to her father’s office for the first time since that terrible night. The safe was hidden behind a bookshelf and, as long as John hadn’t changed the code, she still knew it by heart.

Ally breathed a sigh of relief when the door clicked open. But the feeling was fleeting – there were countless documents in the little treasury. How was she supposed to find the right letter? Impatiently, she pulled out the different folders and paged through their contents. Nothing.

Only once the safe was almost completely empty did she see a file on the wall. It was otherwise inconspicuous, except for the writing on the front:

Ian McDermott

This had to be it! Her heart pounded like a jackhammer in her chest and she could hardly breath as she flipped it open. There were several letters inside. On one of them was written her own name in John’s unmistakable script, but she reined herself in, even though she dearly wanted to know what was written there. He was not dead and therefore she wouldn’t read this letter – maybe she could cheat fate by not peeking at it.

Another was addressed to Liliana and then there was one with Graciela’s name on it.

“Do you want to read it?” Ally asked.

“Yes!” The woman’s voice was hard, decisive, and Ally recognized how worried she was. Graciela grabbed at it with trembling fingers and ripped the paper open, then read out loud:

––––––––

Dear Grace,

How should I even begin? I love you as though you were my own mother. I’m sure I don’t have to say it – you’ve known it forever.

Now what’s happened?Have the Corellis murdered me? Or did I go missing? No matter, please get in touch with the man at the FBI. You know him already – Carson, the guy who was there once with me. His real name is Carl Johnson and if he asks for the secret word, then it’s still him.

Don’t cry so much over me – I haven’t earned it. Give my uncle Lilo a kiss from me on that bald head of his. I love you both. You have been the parents I never had. Only you!

John

At points, Ally could hardly understand the words, so overcome was Graciela by her tears while she read the letter. But one name she comprehended very well and was already searching out the number for the FBI on the computer.

“Graciela, can you please get the small-caliber guns out of the second safe? Oh, and the right bullets?” Graciela froze mid-movement. “Don’t look at me like that. I know you know what you’re doing. Papa told me. He said that, in case of emergency, you knew how to protect me. Come on, we don’t have any time.”

Die Corellis should just watch out. No way John wasn’t worth this. There was no one in her life who was more worth being rescued. No way would she let him down – not in a million years.

* * *

“You’ll just run right up against that devil Mario. That’s exactly what he wants. Ally, please – be reasonable.” Graciela was trying to stop the young woman, but it was not to be.

“I can’t just abandon him. It’ll be an hour until the FBI is here. That’s too long.” She stuck the smallest weapon in her bra, cushioning it with a washcloth. If she were caught, she might have a chance to keep a weapon on her. Then she grabbed the razor-sharp switchblade that her father had once shown her. Even the handle was worn thin, so that it had to be wrapped in material to be used – she had enough of that in her bra already. Carefully, Ally pushed the knife into the insole of her shoe. When all else failed and she was taken hostage, this would be her last chance. And God knew, she wouldn’t hesitate to use it. The Corellis had already robbed her of everything – only John and the Moltisantis remained. And she was not about to give up any one of the three without a fight.

“Ready.”

“Please don’t go, Ally!” Graciela tried one last time to talk her out of it. The eyes of the older woman filled with tears. But Ally could not be dissuaded by Graciela’s objections. She’d put up her walls, a technique she’d been taught over many hours of self-defense class. If you were trapped, you had to forget everything else and focus all your attention on getting out. In the last four years, she’d perfected the trick.

“I’ll be back. Hey, don’t look so skeptical.” But it didn’t do a thing – Graciela was inconsolable. “What else were all those hours of training good for? Daddy basically made me into a fighting machine. Okay, I’m a little rusty, but I have the element of surprise on my side. And at the very least, I can use my small size and girlish looks to advantage.” Ally kissed Graciela on the cheek and quickly left the office before she started to cry again. She could not be swayed by sentimentality right now.

Mario wanted her to come to the Corellis’ estate, which was only half a mile from Galletti House. Ally put on dark clothes and braided her hair so she’d look even younger and, she hoped, less dangerous. This would secure her another advantage.

Going slowly up the driveway to the Corelli estate, she repeated the mantra to herself that, if she had to, she’d take someone’s life today. This was all about John. Nothing else mattered.

Shortly before she reached the main house, a pair of headlights went on in front of her and she raised her arm before her eyes.

“Ah, the long-lost Allison Galletti!” She recognized Mario’s voice immediately. Even in his earliest days he’d had a rasping voice that had raised the hair on the back of her neck. But now all it did was unleash a deep rage in her.

“I’m here. Where is John?” She asked without missing a beat.

“Not so fast. I want to have a thorough conversation with you first, on the occasion of our reunion. Then I’ll let John go and we’ll have a little play time. Then we’re even.” Even! She could well imagine what he meant by conversation and play time. She’d encountered enough men like this in recent years. And she’d never be even in this lifetime – too many others had already lost their lives.

She said nothing of the sort, however, and continued to approach the lights, although her knees were shaking. Step by step, ever closer, the image of John in her mind. Her senses were sharpened and she saw the brother of her former best friend approach her. He raised his hands appeasingly, as though he was an innocent pawn in this awful play for power. But Ally knew better – knew that the devil was at play here.

“Ah, Allison, you’re even more beautiful than before. Did you know that my father asked for your hand in marriage to me?” She briefly let this sink in and, when he saw her face, he smiled. “I thought so. Your father refused and claimed you were already promised to that rock star. Such nonsense! That jerk went whoring around the world and your dear old dad still saw him as a stepson. If he’d given you to me back then, it never would have come to this!”

His words shocked Ally so much that she forgot to concentrate. She hardly took notice of the giant of a man who came up and proceeded to put his arms around her and squeeze. She gave him some swift kicks, but she might as well have been kicking a tree.

“Take me to him!” She cried, to no avail.

Mario approached her until he was standing very close. Tenderly, he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “So beautiful!” Then he gave the giant the sign to bring Ally into the house.

By then she’d managed to calm and contain herself. Only the hate glinting from her eyes at Mario hinted at what seethed inside of her.

Kapitel 34

John

He grabbed Lili by the shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eyes. She breathed in short gasps. Was she hyperventilating? “Look, Lili. We have to try to keep your brother from watching the courtyard.” She nodded in understanding. He hoped she’d manage what she had to do. “You’ll run out of the hatch screaming. Tell Mario that I took off up the stairs. If the plan works, they’ll run to the house to see if they can catch me inside. If it doesn’t, I’m a goner. And in case he asks? We didn’t speak a word to one another.”

“Okay, John.” And with that she went straight to the hatch and opened it.

John was briefly hopeful, but in the next moment he heard not Lili’s voice, but Ally’s.

“Take me to him!”

An icy shiver ran up his back and he would have most liked to run out and help her, but his reasoning ran parallel to Mario’s now. John Dempsey, the Irishman, one of Galletti’s men, was back – his brain now operating in the criminal mode and he’d be damned if he’d do just what Mario wanted him to do. He’d return for Ally – over Mario’s dead body, if he had to, and anyone else’s who dared get in his way.

Lili had correctly grasped the situation, for the words he now heard made him smirk.

“Mario, thank God you’re here. That bastard John Dempsey is down in the wine cellar. It’s time for revenge.” If he didn’t know better, he would have kissed her. “Who was that Gino dragged into the house?”

“Stay out of it, Sis. I’ll take care of it. Here.” John heard the jingle of keys. “Go to the penthouse. I don’t want you getting pulled into this.”

“Pulled into it? But I had him brought here and just when things are getting good you send me away? Besides, you never explained what Dempsey had to do with Dad’s imprisonment.” Her voice sounded impertinent.

“Not open for discussion, Lili. You drive or I’ll have you driven.” Mario was fired up – evidently he wanted to be rid of Lili so that he could do with him and Ally whatever he had in mind. He didn’t want any witnesses.

“Fine. I’ll drive. Call me when it’s over?”

He didn’t hear the answer, just the motor that was started then. He pulled away from the sold stone; his cheek was moist. This cellar was obviously not insulated.

His thoughts raced. At least now Lili was out of the picture, in case push came to shove. John had to clear his head now. He went through all the possibilities that he – and Mario – had.

Mario had had Ally brought into the house. If he knew her at all, she had not come unarmed. The question was how long could she hide her weapons? And would he be able to get to her before Mario did anything to her? Sweat was beading on his forehead. There were too many open questions and too few solid parameters to take action on. He didn’t even know the estate, which made it difficult to get his bearings.

But he would succeed. No one was going to take his Ally away again. This idiot had besmirched the Earth long enough. It would end today. John would serve him up the consequence he deserved. 

A smile crept across his face as he came to terms with the fact that today was their day of reckoning. It was high time.

John waited a short while and then opened the hatch a crack. Outside, there was no one to be seen; the coast was clear. The courtyard lay empty and abandoned before him. Cautiously, he left the cellar, pressing his body against the exterior wall of the house. The climbing roses that grew there scratched bloody streams over his forearms. But he felt no pain – all his senses were focussed on the house and the woman who was being held prisoner there.

Chapter 35

Ally

She hadn’t been in this house since the day her family was murdered. Nothing had changed – the décor was the same. Only one thing seemed different: the feeling of iciness that the estate radiated. It was – soulless. Her own family’s house had never had such a feeling.

The memories flooded her mind. The chandelier had always been a crowning jewel. It shimmered like diamonds when it was turned on. What had become of Lili? Had she been married off to some wealthy Italian? Marriage – what Mario had said so bluntly came back to her. Her father had seen John as a stepson? Mario’s father had asked for her hand for his son? Why didn’t she know any of this? So many questions – but now she had to get her head free, for she could already hear Mario approaching her. She sat in a room in which the nasty giant character had shut her up. This gorilla was standing guard at the door and looking up at the window with crossed arms. Just as though she were nothing more than thin air to him. Fine, what did she care? She wasn’t in the habit of conversing with gorillas, anyway. And especially not when they dragged her around and locked her up against her will.

In the next moment, Mario entered the room. There was a smile playing at his lips. “Ah, you waited for me, my lovely.”

“What else could I do?” She responded coolly. She let herself settle back into the pillows, exactly as if this was the sort of conversation she carried out with such people every day.

“You’re right and I’m sorry that our reunion – which I otherwise was so looking forward to – has such a bitter aftertaste. Forgive me.” Mario sat down on the antique sofa across from her and patted a pillow next to himself. “Come – sit next to me.”

The monster was toying with her. Couldn’t he have come sit down next to her? No, he wanted to demonstrate that she was under his control and had to do whatever occurred to him, if she wanted to see John alive again.

Slowly, Ally rose and went in his direction, even when everything in her objected. In no way did she want to have a seat next to her family’s murderer. Reluctantly, she sat at the other end of the sofa.

“What do you want?” She asked him baldly.

His eyebrows shot up. He’d probably practiced the look in front of a mirrow. This silly, self-involved con artist. Ally almost came undone in a fury, but she couldn’t get at her gun so earily. “What I always wanted – you. With all that entails. The Corelli and the Galletti families should finally be united.”

On the outside, she remain composed, but a tornado stormed inside her, one that would have preferred to sweep this man away. “You’re too late. I’m already happily married.”

He snorted disapprovingly before saying: “A small issue I’ll take care of in the coming hours.”

A knot formed in her stomach. Ally only granted him an ice-cold gaze; her cover was not to be perturbed. “Tell me, Mario, what makes you think I’ll have you?” There was a hint of the disdain she felt for him in her voice. For all she cared, he could know just what she thought of him.

“Perhaps because of my irresistible charm?” Was he joking around? I asked my lawyer here and the judge owes me a favor. Your current marriage will be annulled and then we’ll marry, this very night. John will in fact be our guest of honor. Then he can go. But we’ll keep him around for now, for he’s my insurance policy. It might be useful to present him to you bit by bit, just in case you refuse my offer. Or if you get any ideas about not fulfilling your future ideas.” He came off as very self-important, looking at her like that with a grin on his face, licking his lips now and then. Doubtless he would reveal what her future duties would consist of. “I know how much he means to you, but I can live with that, as long as your body and old Galletti’s property belongs to me.”

The enormity of this revelation made her shrink back in horror. “You only murdered my family for that?” Her voice nearly broke, so aghast was she at this explanation.

“You should take this to heart, Allison – when I want something, I get it. And I can be very patient, as you’ve noticed. But it’s not my normal way of going about business.” The cold in his eyes made her shudder and Ally doubted, for the first time since winding up here, if she was a match for this monster.

Chapter 36

John

John could see right into the brightly illuminated room and could hardly keep himself from rushing to her aid. The space looked warm and inviting and he remembered that Mrs. Corelli had decorated the whole place, but it had been a long time. If the old dame were still alive, it never would have come to this between the two families. She had had a good heart and had often spoken with Ally’s mother for hours at a time on the telephone.

Ally sat on a couch, looking past Mario – who was sitting with his back to the window – with empty eyes. Her body language showed that she’d just learned something terrible. Everything in him cried out to run to her and take her in his arms.

If only he knew more about this damned house! More about the guys who were working for Mario. And he needed a gun. He was good at hand-to-hand combat, but he didn’t have anything on a pistol that was aimed at him from more than 10 feet.

His brain was working at high speed. Feverishly, he considered his options for getting Ally out of this mess, when a pair of headlights illuminated the driveway. John pressed himself against the wall of the house, ducking behind the ivy that grew up  to the rooftop. He couldn’t be caught – that would be the end. He wouldn’t escape the Corellis again.

The car pulled to a halt before the entrance and Lili climbed out. She glanced around, searchingly, but John didn’t want to give himself away.

In the next moment, the house door was flung open. “Lili! I told you to go back to the house!” Mario’s voice sounded upset as he yelled across the yard.

“Calm down, man. I know what I’m supposed to do, but I forgot my purse in the kitchen – can you get it? I have to go grocery shopping but I can’t until I have my wallet.”

She knew how to work him, for he answered more calmly, “Yeah, okay, hang on a sec.”

Lili cleared her throat, looked around, and took something out of her jacket pocket. John couldn’t see what it was. Gingerly, she put it in one of the flower beds that were planted along the length of the house. It was for him! It had to be. It must be something to help him out. He would have liked to give her a sign that he understood, but it was too risky – he kept his cover and waited.

Mario brought Lili her purse, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and pushed her back into the car. Not until the taillights had disappeared completely did he go back into the house and call: “I want one of you to patrol the door. My sister isn’t allowed in the house again today!”

John had to get at whatever it was Lili had hidden in the flower bed, but in the next moment one of these massive characters came out and lit a cigarette.

Now he just had to be patient. But he didn’t have to wait long before the guy began his patrol across the yard. This was John’s chance. Ducking, he ran out of the ivy hedge and crept over to the spot where Lili had laid something earlier.

As he lifted it up, he didn’t recognize what it was at first. Hastily, he snuck back to his hiding spot – it was the most secure spot in the area – and threw a brief glance through the window. Ally was still sitting in the same spot, but her face wasn’t showing resignation anymore, but rather an expression of pure hate and rage.

“Atta girl! Don’t let them get to you,” he whispered. Ally raised her head and looked outside, almost as if she’d heard him. But her gaze wandered past him – she couldn’t see him. And yet he had the feeling that they were connected somehow. She must have felt subconsciously that he was right outside. As she stood and moved to sit by Mario, he would have liked to jump through the window.

John pushed himself deep into the ivy and opened the little jute bag. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but definitely not this: it was a mobile phone and a small-caliber gun.

Was Lili really ready to sacrifice her brother? The device began to vibrate in his hand. “Yeah?” He whispered into it.

“John, it’s me, Lili.” She sounded breathless. “I’ll help you. I’m behind the house. Toni is about to come around front again. He did his loop, watch out!”

“I will.” Next he heard the line go click and almost at the same moment he heard footsteps nearing on the gravel of the driveway. Toni went right by John without noticing him. The henchman was hardly out of his line of sight when John checked the gun’s magazine. It was loaded and ready. Stealthily, he slipped the magazine back into place.

Determined now, he pulled up the zipper of his leather jacket and rooted around in the ivy, but he’d hardly come a few feet further when he saw another pair of headlights nearing the house. Rapidly, he fell back into the underbrush and landed flat on the ground. It was good the Corellis didn’t have a dog – Mario had a white-hot fear of the animals – so that John didn’t have to reckon with piles of excrement between the bushes. He looked back at the driveway. A distinguished looking vehicle pulled up to the main entrance. Who was Mario expecting at this hour?

John had an uneasy feeling. This shithead had something up his sleeve – but what?

Chapter 37

Ally

“Boss, those two lawyers you were expecting are here,” said the giant with the scar on his right cheek and then waited for further instruction.

“Have them wait for me in my office. Send the judge there, too, when he arrives. I just want to have a word with the soon-to-be-former husband.” With these words Mario rose and Ally’s anxiety grew exponentially. “Everybody out! I want to talk to my fiancée alone for a minute.” An obscene smile spread itself across his repellant visage.

She’d known John for half her life, so if there was one thing she was sure of now, it was that he’d never agree to this horsetrading. She was so scared for him, she could hardly form a coherent thought. One thing was clear to her: neither of them would give up. Mario was capable of anything and there was a lot you could to a man before he died. So much that, by the end, he would no longer know who or what he was. She was terrified of what might happen to her husband. Then she had an idea and with it new hope.

“Mario?”

“Yes?” Leering, he looked over at her and tried to gauge what she had in mind.

“You know as well as I do that John will never agree to your offer.” He simply observed her closely without saying a word or changing his expression. “If you let me talk with him, I could convince him to go through with the annulment.

At first, Ally didn’t know what she was hearing, until she realized that the awful sound was Mario’s laughter. He whinnied terribly, hardly able to contain himself.

“And what is so funny about that?” Her fury came on so violently, she had to stop herself from going for his jugular.

He made a show of panting for air several times before being able to answer. “Oh, Ally, you’re serious?” He shook his head and then said, his voice dripping with disdain, “Forging a signature is a simple matter for my professionals. “So, since neither of you will accuse me otherwise, we will be husband and wife in the next hour. Honey, get used to the idea that tonight you’ll be keeping my bed warm.”

Ally leaped up, no longer able to see past the hate she felt for this man – but she had to hold herself in check, for John’s sake. “You damned devil. Pezzo di Merda!” She spit at his feet and swore she’d kill him. When not today, then some other day. But by her hand, in any case.

Two strides and he was on her, grasping her hard by the neck and squeezing. Mario was as strong as a bear and as  much as Ally tried to defend against him, his hands would not loosen their grip.

“I love it when my women have a little fire under their asses in bed, but don’t think for one moment that I tolerate verbal slips. Just for that, I’ll think of something very special for our wedding night and, believe me, you won’t like it.” She stumbled and fell hard against the table as he pushed her away with a snort. Whimpers left her throat and as he turned his back to her, she reached under her shirt.

* * *

The moment she turned back to him, she began shooting without aiming and without hesitation. Never had she been more purposeful. But the devil took the bullets from the small-caliber gun as though they were mosquito stings.

“Dear heart, you should have gotten a bigger gun and maybe some practice at the shooting range.” He was making fun of her. “But I didn’t think you even had the guts to pull the trigger. Believe me, you’ll pay dearly for this.” His hoarse laugh was accompanied by a gurgle and then he spit up blood. She had actually hit him, something Mario realized at the same time she did.

In disbelief, he stared at the stain on the ground and then collapsed. Ally didn’t hesistate and ran for the door, but as she passed the seemingly lifeless body, a hand darted out and grabbed for her angle. She faltered and then sprawled on the floor. Her elbows hurt like hell and as she closed her eyes, she briefly saw stars behind her lids.

Mario groaned and yet held her fast with an iron grip. She had no choice but to kick him with her other foot and for the blink of an eye his fingers loosened. She crept away from him, but panic won the upper hand and she crawled behind the sofa instead of towards the door. With trembling hands she aimed for the empty spot that, in that very moment, was filled by Mario’s massive body. He reeled and was ashy white, all signs he’d lost a lot of blood. Who said small-caliber guns do no damage?

For years she’d trained to rise to the occasion in tricky situations. She’d aimed intuitively, without thinking about it. She knew every vulnerable point on a man’s body and her brain had recalled this training. She’d always been a good shot.

The second time, she took deliberate aim and as he neared, she fired. Mario staggered and fell against her with a bloodcurdling cry, his head against hers. The room began to spin. The smell of iron and copper clouded her senses. Life drained out of the man on top of her and, when he was very still, Ally finally felt peace. The killer was dead.

Shots could be heard out in the hallway and voices from every which way, yelling, in different tones, “All clear!” Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t manage to push the colossus off of her. She grunted and groaned, but he hardly moved an inch.

Then, suddenly, she was free of his weight. Ally realized it was John, together with a man in an FBI uniform, who was pulling Mario off of her.

With eyes wide, Ally looked down at the corpse. She had actually done him in.

John helped her up and took her gently in his strong arms, leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to comfort her. He stammered words into her ear that didn’t make sense. That she shouldn’t have a guilty conscience, that Mario was dead. What on earth was he talking about? Unbelieving, she looked him in the eye. Guilty conscience? She didn’t have a guilty conscience. No, she was actually happy that she’d been the one to send the creep to hell! She’d never feel shame or anything similar for it. The world was a better place without this scumbag.

Pride and respect flamed up in the eyes of her husband and that was really all she needed to feel safe again. Exhausted, she let her head sink back onto his shoulder.

Chapter 38

John

They sat side-by-side in a police care and rode to the station. John held Ally’s hand firmly in his and she nestled her head into his shoulder.

He recalled what had happened in those moments before Ally’s rescue:

Shortly after their arrival, the two men in dark suits had disappeared into the house. As the bull-like bodyguard had ended his rounds with a cigarette at the fountain in the middle of the driveway, John knew that it was his chance. He made his way to the back entrance – there had to be a way in. Ally was in mortal danger and his whole being wanted nothing more than to run to her aid. But how? His brain worked feverishly.

Stealthily, he’d crept around the house until, right before the back door, someone took him in a headlock. There was an iron grip around his throat and a giant paw over his mouth. The guy who jumped him throw John’s body against the wall of the house, pushing him into the massive stones with all of his weight. He didn’t have the slightest chance of budging an inch with this guy.

“FBI. Are you John Dempsey?” The man whispered in his ear so quietly, John hardly understood.

Evidently his nod was enough of an answer, for the man let him go for a moment. “We’ll get your wife out of there. Go on over to our men and stay put. We’ll take care of everything.”

Never had he left Ally’s life in the hands of anyone else. Surely this guy didn’t think that he was holed up in some hedge for fun while his wife was in such danger? But he didn’t get around to telling the agent what he’d had in mind, for that was when the worst-case scenario happened. They heard a gunshot in the house, then another, and the man next to him murmured into his headset: “Attack, target endangered. I repeat: attack.”

A whole bevy of darkly attired people swept up over the lawn and stormed the house. John followed them and made way for the room in which he’d last seen Ally.

The agents’ silencers made popping sounds and two loud gunshots could be heard. He prayed to himself that nothing had happened to Ally. An ice-cold hand held his heart prisoner as he rounded the corner and entered the room. There was a puddle of blood on the carpet, but neither Ally nor anyone else was in sight.

“All clear!” the agents were calling from the different rooms. One of them ran by John into the room. He zeroed in on the big, flower-patterned sofa and looked behind it. At that moment, John heard a groan. A female groan. Ally’s?

With almost inhuman speed, he was behind the hulking piece of furniture, arriving there at the same time. The blood froze in his veins when he saw Ally buried underneath Mario’s heavy body.

Together, the two men had pulled the Mafioso’s lifeless body off the woman, who then looked down at the corpse with eyes wide. “Oh my God. I killed him.”

In one fluid movement, John took her in his arms and put her head on his shoulder in an effort to comfort her. “Oh, Baby, it’ll be okay. Mario is dead. You don’t need to have a guilty conscience. Shit!”

She’d raised her head to look at him, uncomprehending. “Guilty conscience? I don’t have a guilty conscience. I’m glad it was me who sent this scumbag to hell!”

Pride welled up in him. She was certainly her father’s daughter. No one else had more claim to this man’s life than she did. After all, he’d taken three lives from her and thrown her whole life for a loop.

Chapter 39

Ally

Some hours later, once they’d undergone extensive questioning, Ally and John returned to Galletti House. Graciela was waiting for them with open arms. One of the female agents had given Ally some workout clothes so she’d been able to remove her own blood-drenched clothes and take a shower. She actually didn’t feel all that terrible, all things considered.

“Oh, my children! I almost died of worry! I couldn’t find a moment of peace until you called me. Come here.” The little round woman had room for both of them on her generous breast. And they welcomed it. “It’s so awful, what’s happened! But now, thank God, it’s all over!”

“Everything worked out. Not exactly as we’d planned it, Aunt Graciela, but John is back and that’s the main thing.” Ally hoped the older woman wouldn’t start in saying she didn’t need to have a guilty conscience.

But after Graciela looked deep in her eyes and evidently found what she was looking for, she nodded and said: “I made you something to eat. Go freshen up quick and then come to the dining room.”

Obediently, Ally strolled, her hand in John’s, to the little caretaker’s cottage, which smiled deliciously of garlic. She hadn’t thought it was possible to be hungry tonight, but her stomach obviously had a different opinion.

Alberto stood ready in the door to the kitchen and greeted them, beaming. He was not a man of many words and now, holding them both in his arms, his voice failed him. Touched, he turned and went into the kitchen.

Swiftly, the older woman fetched a pair of cold packs and handed them to John, looking at his face disapprovingly. “You have a black eye.”

“Thanks, Grace.” John took his de facto foster mother in his arms once again and took a turn with her into the kitchen before releasing her. Sheer joy radiated from her face, although she tried to cover it with a raised finger.

“You rascal! You can’t throw around old Graciela.” Winking, she looked at Ally and was openly pleased to have both her charges back in her home. Ally’s heart spilled over with love for these three people she was lucky enough to spend the evening with. “Get on with you – in your seat. I made my secret recipe soup. You both like it so much.”

Eager for a warm meal, they sat themselves down at the table and waited until their bowls were filled. Saying grace, here given by Alberto, was custom.

“Dear God, we thank you for returning both of our adoptive children back to us and ask that you bless their marriage and make it a fruitful one. Bless our meal, for which we thank you. Amen.”

“Amen,” everyone agreed and reached spiritedly for their spoons.

Kapitel 40

John

Shortly after dinner, John parted from Graciela and Alberto, who both had tears in their eyes again. Ally’s hand felt so right in his, like he hadn’t felt in years. He was sure that they’d both put this behind them. That was the thing with the future.

At the illuminated fountain in the middle of the driveway, he stopped for a moment to pull Ally to him. She smelled deliciously like flowers and like peace. They were surrounding by a slightly secretive ambiance that evening, with the sounds of the night wafting past them without their notice. Ally’s gaze went right through him.

“I’m sorry I ran away and left you alone in the apartment. The gift you wanted to give me was simply too momentous at that moment.”  John knew he’d made his apology slightly ridiculous with the second sentence, but he felt helpless, didn’t know quite how to rise to the situation. He would have rather had an argument with a Mafioso than try to earn back the love of his life.

Ally shook her dark locks in rebuke and again her unique fragrance enveloped him.

“And you think you’ll get away with it that easily?” She stuck by her words with a penetrating look, so much so that he started getting nervous.

“I’ll take whatever punishment you can see fit to hand out.” How much he wanted to kiss her in this moment, but he contented himself with holding her. It seemed she liked it there in his arms, for she made no effort to free herself.

Finally, she gave him a shy smile and answered: “First I’d be content with a kiss. After tonight I’ll pass my judgment on you.”

Without hesitation, he fulfilled her desire, sinking his head to her deliberately and finding her lips, which she offered up to him willingly. And as her mouth opened to him trustingly, she unleashed in him a passion that took his breath away. John was dizzy and leaned back a step for a second, only to lean his forehead against hers.

“Oh, Ally, let’s disappear into the pool house before we catch it from Grace, because I’m not going to be able to just hold you in my arms all innocent much longer. It’s more than I can bear.” As he’d hoped, he heard a hoarse laugh from her and she nodded.

In the same moment he closed the door to the pool house behind them, he pulled Ally to him and covered her lips with kisses until she opened them for him and he sank into her victoriously. She goaded him on while his hands roamed freely over her body.

Hastily, he pulled her shirt over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra – it was still in the bag that Grace had taken to wash. The thought of this helped him maintain a modicum of control over himself, which he would have otherwise lost completely at the sight of her naked torso. Ally was so beautiful, more beautiful and sensuous than any other woman he’d ever met. His wife – what a wonder! Her soft whimpers as he devoted his attention to her breasts went right to his veins and made themselves immediately noticeable in his much too tight pants.

Every fiber of her being reacted to his touch, which in turn gave him feel sheer joy. He was the first and, he hoped, the last – he’d honor this gift forever.

Nervously, she reached for his belt, but he grabbed her hand. “Wait. It’s your turn first. I have to make good,” he whispered in her ear and he could tell what these softly breathed words alone unfurled in her.

Carefully, he pulled off her leggings, his hands playing over the skin of her hips. As he’d hoped, she wasn’t wearing any panties underneath. Before showering at the FBI she’d just gotten jogging clothes, nothing else. He had made note of it then and gotten hard at just the thought of it, which was nothing compared to what was now going on in his pants.

VGently, he pressed her very intimacy, loosing from her a soft groan. He knees buckled a bit. Ally was so ready, so thirsty for him, he could hardly believe it.

But he wanted to keep her in suspense for a little bit, give her the pure joy only found between lovers. So he let his tongue wander back to her breasts, where he took one of her dark nipples in his mouth and sucked. As he sucked it between his teeth, Ally let out a cry and clawed her hands through his hair. Her legs gave out from under her so he willingly took her up and carried her to bed. Out of the corners of his eyes he saw that there were tea lights burning in glasses throughout the room. He could just imagine what fairy godmother had been at work here. But his gaze was again captured by the beauty in his arms. With sultry eyes she looked up at him.

Kapitel 41

Ally

Every inch of her body felt electrified as his hands swept over her eagerly. Ally had the feeling she was losing her senses and just as she was thinking she was in heaven, he sank his head between her thighs – everything around her disappeared in a cloud of desire.

Waves rolled over her and her gaze went hazy. Tears ran from the corners of her eyes as she reached the high point of her lust, crying out his name into the night.

John held her in his arms until the earthquake slowly subsided – and then began the game again. His mouth was everywhere, his tongue investigating every inch of her skin, but he wasn’t going to get off so easily this time. She wanted him to share in the unbounded joy and so grabbed for his belt, unbuckled it, and pulled his pants down a bit, then he took them off all the way.

“Forgive me, but I can’t hold back for very long. Next time we’ll go more slowly.” Anxious about what was coming and nonetheless sure she was doing the right thing, she looked him in the eye. Her thighs opened of their own accord and he accepted the challenge. Cautiously yet powerfully, he took what she wanted to give only him.

The pain was brief and then they quickly fell into an ancient choreography. She took on his rhythm until they reached the summit together and then lay spent in each other’s arms.

***

Rays of sun were warming the room and Ally stroked John’s strong arms, feeling safe and cozy.

“Good morning,” he whispered in her ear, pulling her closer to him. “Have you thought about your punishment for me? You said you were going to decide on it after last night.”

There is no greater happiness than being in the arms of the man you love. If Ally were a cat, she would be purring. It was almost too good to be true. “I would say you get the utmost sentence: life.”

“With you by my side? No reason not to.” She secretly hoped that he’d never change his mind. Living by his side would be perfect. Without him, she was like half a person and she’d never feel the same way about any other man. Impossible!

Ally looked John deep in the eyes and, almost at the same time, they whispered: “I love you!”

Epilogue

Three months later

Beyond the hill where they stood there extended a verdant landscape. Farther away, on the horizon, a herd of sheep was grazing. Birds could be heard singing their songs. It was simply fantastic – summer in the Scottish highlands.

After visiting several locales, their honeymoon had ended in Scotland, where they were visiting Adam. The pianist and songwriter for the Centerstarks had taken refuge in one of the most untraveled places on Earth in order to pursue his passion – he wanted to write books. And yet John and Ally could understand the urge; the breathtaking beauty of the country was convincing at very first glance. And shouldn’t every person follow their heart?

“What’s next for you two – your journey is almost at an end,” Adam asked John.

“We’ll look for a place in the country. A house with a garden and...”

“... and a white picket fence,” Ally interrupted, giggling.

John looked at his wife lovingly. “Yeah, with a white picket fence. You’ll have to come by and manage the property, otherwise we’ll never get to sit out on the patio. Too many small children holding us hostage.”

“How many kids are you thinking of?” Adam asked, amused. He was glad that his friend, who’d often been so silent and brooding, was finally blossoming. For two days the couple had been with him and in that time John had laughed more than in all the years he’d known him. It was fascinating to see how the darkness that had so often gripped him had finally disappeared. Adam wished him well from the bottom of his heart and secretly hoped he’d someday find a wife who  would likewise put her spell on him and bring out his best side.

Ally cleared her throat, embarrassed. “We’ll start with one. It’ll probably arrive next April.”

She was met with two perplexed gazes.

Ally took John’s hand. “Actually, I wanted to tell you by giving you a baby romper, but I just couldn’t manage to keep it to myself until I went shopping alone. Forgive me.” She stammered and felt bad for spilling the beans so unexpectedly.

“Forgive you?” John asked quietly and raised her chin with his finger to look into her eyes. She only nodded. “We’re really going to have a baby?” His eyes glimmered with suspicion, but his words were gentle.

“Yes, John. We’re going to be parents.” In the next moment he scooped her up in the air and spun her around in a circle. Then he set her down and covered her face with kisses.

“Did you hear that, Adam? I’m going to be a dad! I, John Dempsey, am expecting a baby!” Joyously, he embraced his friend.

“Hey, man, I’m sorry to have to disappoint you, but it’s Ally who’s going to give birth. You can be there, though, if you behave and don’t go too crazy,” Adam joked lovingly. He had a lump in his throat; he was moved to have been present for the announcement.

“Oh, God, Ally, you make me the happiest man on Earth!” Once more, John lifted her up into his arms, his cheeks covered in fresh tears. She looked so lovely in Scottland’s evening sun that the thought occurred to John, unbidden, to build a house with a white picket fence on that very spot.

Ally’s Recipes

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...naturally, also Tanja’s recipes

Have fun and enjoy these dishes!

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Spaghetti Bolognese

500g gemischtes Hackfleisch

1 Zwiebel

2 Möhren

3 Knoblauchzehen

2 Pack. passierte Tomaten

1 Dose gehackte Tomaten

Salz, Pfeffer, Zucker, Oregano, Öl

1 lb ground beef

1 onion

2 carrots

3 cloves garlic

2-4 tbsp tomato paste

1 15-oz can diced tomatoes

salt, pepper, sugar, oregano, and olive oil

Saute the ground beef in a little oil. Meanwhile, chop the vegetables very finely, then add them to the pan. When the onion is soft, add the tomato paste and cook briefly. Season to taste and let the flavors meld for a bit.

Cappelini or angel hair pasta tastes very good with this, but also spaghetti. Serve with grated mozzarella or parmesan.

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Lasagna

Prepare bolognese sauce as above but use 6 tbsp tomato paste.

Additional ingredients:

1 box lasagna noodles

¼ cup (½ stick) butter

¼ cup flour

2 ½ cups vegetable broth

½ cup whipping cream

½ cup freshly grated parmesan cheese

freshly grated nutmeg

salt, mozzarella, butter

Fill a baking dish with alternating layers of sauce and lasagna noodles. Start with the sauce and make sure the noodles don’t overlap. Repeat until you’ve used up all the sauce and noodles.

Heat the butter in a pot until it sizzles. Slowly add flour, stirring the whole time until you have a creamy mixture, then add vegetable broth slowly, stirring, until you have a homogenous sauce. Stir thoroughly so there are no lumps. Add cream and parmesan, salt and pepper to taste.

Finally, pour the sauce over the layered lasagna.

Let the prepared dish stand for two hours. Then top with grated mozzarella and pats of butter and bake at 350° F on the bottom rack for about 50 minutes.

Let rest briefly before serving.

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Graciela’s Secret Recipe Soup

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2 onions

4 cloves garlic

3-4 links cabanossi or equivalent in mild salami

5 potatoes

2 carrots

1 zucchini

1 yellow pepper

1 green pepper

2-4 tbsp tomato paste

2 15-oz cans diced tomatoes

1 cup water

salt, sugar, oregano, pepper, paprika, oil

Cut the onion, garlic, sausage, potatoes, carrots, zucchini, and peppers into fine pieces and saute in 3 tbsp oil until the onions are soft. Then pour in the water and the tomato paste and diced tomatoes. Add oregano and paprika – and if you like it spicy, add a little cayenne pepper.

Bring this to a boil and then lower the temperature and let cook, stirring occasionally, for about an hour.

Season to taste.

If you like vegetables, you can put in any variety you want. I’ve tried it with white and green beans.

Garlic-rosemary bread goes very well with this (you’ll find the recipe in Küsse im Blitzlichtgewitter).

Acknowledgments

First I’d like to thank my husband, as always, for believing in me for years and encouraging me to write. Without him, I never would have dared begin my first book. I love you.

Thank you with all my heart to Karina Reiß, who has given me nourishment, criticism, and advice. No manuscript of mine makes its way to beta readers without having come under her hawk eyes first. Thank you for the lovely cover and thank you for being!

For the translation, I have Katharine Oden to thank, who’s done a bang-up job.

Forgive the less than elegant transition to the beta readers. This time out, too, I’d like to extend a huge thank you to Grit and Yvonne, who have given me so much energy with their feedback. Joana, thank you for your enthusiasm.

And thanks goes out to the LoveThrillFantasy-Girls – Andi, Pea, Sina, and Karina – you make like sweeter with all your support! We are a great team.

LTF forever!

And to everyone who reads my books, reviews them (which means a lot to me), and writes to me everyday – thank you.

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Yours,

Tanja Neise

More English-language books by Tanja Neise

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The Last Vampire – After The Vampire Wars (English Edition)

Seattle, 2123

Humanity believes it has finally defeated the vampires, but then Olivia Morgan meets the mysterious Robert, who is anything but what he seems.  

From the very first moment, something intangible connects them – an attraction that is almost indescribable.

What secret is Robert Tensington hiding? Everyone Olivia loves seems to be in danger, and she has to decide whether she really can trust Robert with all her heart.