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Arden woke alone. Which was for the best. How could she have been so stupid? The words she’d whispered last night echoed in her head as she entered the tiny bathroom.
Love. Cripes. Just because Garvey had reminded her with a few bite marks how much she loved to hurt, that didn’t mean she should have whispered her feelings while she’d been recovering from her high.
Annoyed, she turned to the shower enclosure. Sleek tile covered the walls. Not a control or spout in sight. Just like his voice-activated shower at home. Why the fuck couldn’t Garvey use normal shower knobs like everyone else? She didn’t know what he’d voice coded the shower for, so she gave up on the idea of freshening up.
Growling, she splashed cold water on her face and scrubbed the last of sleep from her eyes. As she stood, dark purple blotches caught her eye in the mirror, a vivid contrast against her skin. She traced the mark high on her shoulder, a shiver of pleasure tracking through her as she admired the discoloration.
The bruises would fade in time, but until then, she was marked as Garvey’s.
She traced the ring of bruises circling her left nipple, the skin abraded a bit more than on the other two marks. Garvey had latched on longer and harder there, encouraged by her pleas to continue.
Pain was so much easier to decipher than love.
“Should I leave you alone? Or do I get to watch you fondle yourself?” She jumped, dropping her arms to her sides. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Just thought I’d let you know you had an audience.”
“I was going to take a shower.”
Garvey’s gaze flicked toward the enclosure. “But couldn’t keep your hands off yourself. I understand. I’d walk around with my hands all over you all day long, but I think people might have something to say about that.”
He kissed the mark on her shoulder. The light pressure of his lips sparked a heat low in her core. Leave it to her body to betray her. “Shower. Water temp 101. Full-rain mode.”
A stream of water cascaded from the ceiling. Steam filled the space in just a few seconds. He nudged her inside, hanging back to strip away his shirt, pants, and the bloodstained gauze patch. After he inspected the wounds, he joined her, closing the glass door behind him.
Since she needed to see for herself, she checked the slices he’d gotten courtesy of Javier, muttering under her breath. When she was satisfied he would live, he returned the favor by examining her marks, focusing on each one for a few minutes before moving on. A line formed between his eyebrows as he brushed his thumb against the one circling her nipple.
“Deeper than I intended. Some tissue damage that will take it a few days longer to heal.” Despite the hot water, the bud puckered under his touch. “But you’ll heal nicely. Should be just a light discoloration this time next week.” He brushed a gentle kiss over the area as he reached for the soap. “Won’t even know they were there in about ten days.”
“I’ll know.”
“That’s the point.”
She felt him smile against her shoulder. Damn. He acted as though she hadn’t changed the game with her lust-hazed confession. Maybe she’d dreamed the whole thing. Made up some elaborate fantasy to counteract how many ways she’d thought about how last night could have gone.
She knew what she’d said last night. Knew she wanted to be around when the marks faded so he could brand her with new ones. But the knowledge of those whispered words scored through her more deeply than any marks he’d made. His marks came with certain expectations.
Her feelings, on the other hand—those she didn’t know what to do about.
She was silent as he slicked her with soap. He took his time washing her, as though he was worshipping her body. The careful attention made her heart ache.
Falling fast and deep, girl. With someone you have no business loving. Especially because you’ve already chosen not to spend your life dodging bullets.
And last night showed that was exactly what she’d get if she stuck around with Garvey. A life filled with violence wasn’t how she wanted to spend her time.
And the statement he’d made at the temple her first day on the island still niggled at her. “Not the kind of work I’m willing to invest in.” It seemed like a lifetime ago. He’d made it clear he wasn’t relationship material. Wasn’t looking. Wasn’t interested. Perhaps time had loosened her tongue on her feelings. But she’d do well to remember Garvey had been burned by love before.
“I think this was one of the things I missed the most when you weren’t there anymore.”
She pushed away her doubts. No reason to ruin things right now, considering his hands were all over her naked skin. “Orgasms? I’m pretty sure you figured out how to take care of that on your own. And if you didn’t, we need to have a serious conversation.”
He pinched the inside of her thigh. The sting burned hot, straight to her clit. “Taking care of you.”
“You didn’t need me for that.”
Garvey grimaced. “Not all subs are receptive to aftercare.”
“I take it Ellie was one of those.” Arden winced. “Keep putting my foot in my mouth lately.”
“No, it’s all right.” He smoothed his hand over her shoulder. “She usually wanted to be left alone afterward. Just liked to lie there by herself and enjoy the trip back. Said she wanted to reconnect with herself. Didn’t want me around at all after we were done. Doesn’t make her a bad person or a bad sub. Just made me realize how much it was something I truly enjoyed.”
His eyebrows drew together. “And looking back now, so many things about that relationship were wrong from the start. I think we each went into it wanting something the other couldn’t provide.”
That was something, at least. A bit of information about Ellie that filled in a few blanks. Arden felt there was more he wanted to say, but the time didn’t seem right. And she wasn’t willing to push him. Not after she’d unleashed words that made it clear she was looking for something more from him.
“Well, I adore it, so you’re welcome to it as often as you like. The soft and tender countering the abrasive. I love this. The care and attention. Like you’re thanking me for allowing you to do what you do. Even though—”
“I don’t do it in thanks,” he interrupted with a kiss to her forehead. “I do it because I love you.”
Arden’s heart hitched. “Garvey—”
“Yes, I heard you last night. But that’s not why I said it. It is past the time when I should say how I feel. Last night certainly opened my eyes to a lot of things. I should have told you a long time ago. Gone after you instead of...well, that was my mistake.”
“We weren’t ready.”
“Not then, no. Sometimes you get what you thought you wanted, only to realize you had it once and let it go. That is a mistake I’m not going to repeat. You’re stuck with me, kitten.”
