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“I don’t know...I think it can go in a little more...what do you think?” I frowned, my gaze picking apart the intricate detail of the seam along my hips. Things had been moving so fast lately that it was all almost too much. Seemed like I blinked my eyes a few times and I was engaged, the engagement party was finalized, the honeymoon destination was locked in, and I was now being fitted for the dress of my dreams. Still, it didn’t feel right. Something felt off, and I couldn’t decide if it was mental remnants of the drama with Max’s secret daughter or something else.
Try as I might, I couldn’t harbor a single drop of animosity toward little Ms. Malaysia Calloway. Considering who her father was, I wasn’t shocked that she was pretty much a living doll; easily the most pretty little girl I’d ever seen. Even with her being under the weather when we first met, I could feel the joy that child radiated. I could also see why Max was reduced to being softer than a smoothie in her presence. Never had I seen that side of Max and honestly, I loved it. I felt a twinge of jealousy that it wasn’t my womb that gave birth to what was clearly the apple of Max’s eye, but I was thankful Mali was a sweetheart and not a brat. I couldn’t stand a bad ass kid.
“Hmm...let’s see...another inch or so should do it. I always recommend leaving at least an inch of wiggle room in the bodice. Pre-wedding jitters can sometimes pack on a few extra pounds from bloating. Better to err on the safe side and have the extra space rather than have a meltdown when that zipper protests,” the bubbly consultant who barely made a size zero offered what I guessed was a spiel she likely had committed to memory.
“She’s right, Rae. Last thing you need is to have to go with a generic, off-the-rack knockoff at the last minute because your FUPA wants to shine,” Taryn teased, smirking as she snapped a few candid shots I’d be making her delete later.
Taryn was probably the closest thing I had to a bestie here in the Heights. We met at orientation for grad school and had been stuck together ever since. The only two Black girls in the bunch, we quickly decided “we all we got” and held each other down until we were hooded at commencement. We came from two different worlds, but it was crazy how much we had in common. When Max chose the game over me, she was a big part of the reason I decided to start over in Mahogany Heights. I used to clown her about fucking for A’s, but it paid off when she walked right into the job of her dreams and got me an interview to work right alongside her.
“What are you over there cheesing about? Probably up to some slick shit,” I mumbled, easing out of the sample dress so I could get moving. I had a lot of shit to do today and one main thing I was dreading: having the talk with Zee. I knew she was about to cut up like no other, so I planned to spend every second of the drive over to get my mind right.
“Girl, you already know! This dress is too damn hot not to share with my fans...” Fans, indeed, because the girl had close to 200,000 followers on IG and Snapchat.
Just as I was about to dig in her shit for doing what she did best—posting for likes—she grabbed a call that made her slip into that giddy, school girl pitch, meaning it was probably her current sponsor. Far from a one-man kind of girl, Taryn kept a small rotation of guys that funded a lifestyle her 9-5 could never afford.
Settling the final details with the consultant, I signed off on the purchase order, promised Taryn we’d link up tomorrow for some cake-tasting, and made the dreaded journey back to The Hills to face the wrath of Zykiyah Nelson.
*****
Settling the final details with the consultant, I signed off on the purchase order, promised Taryn we’d link up tomorrow for some cake-tasting, and made the dreaded journey back to The Hills to face the wrath of Zykiyah Nelson.
I could hear her raging voice echoing down the halls of the tenth floor like she wasn’t raising hell in the privacy of her own home. The knob gave way in my hand, proving just how heated she was because she never left her door unlocked.
“Y’all really gon’ quit playin’ in my face like I’m some damn opp. I stay with the shits and I always got time. Play lotto, not me, fool!”
Tossing her cell onto the chaise, she didn’t miss a beat as she turned her attention to me and proceeded to check my ass like I was the one that forgot to leave money on the nightstand and call the next day.
“And you, bitch. On life, I can’t figure out how the fuck yo’ bird ass done fooled all these folks all these years. But shit, I’m the bigger fool because here I am, believin’ all that shit you talk about SISTERS OVER EVERYTHING, and you more disloyal than them edges that fell back from yo’ forehead ten years ago!
“Wha—”
“Hoe, you know exactly what the fuck I’m talkin’ about! And you brought yo’ fraud ass up in my damn house, smilin’ all up in my face when you knew damn well what it was. You really on some hoe shit, just fuck the Hills, fuck where you came from—fuck the ones that been down with you since you was rockin’ them $14.99 a pack tracks from Hahn’s! Stiff-back bitch probably done fucked Max right up under yo’ nose, but you got the bitch as yo’ maid of honor!”
“Zee—”
“Zee hell! Basic bum ass couldn’t even tell me to my face, but shit, I see what it is. As always, the same selfish ass Raveniesha that’s all about self!”
Eyes wild with rage, Zee was securing her hair in a tight ponytail, but never pulled that venomous glare from me.
Zee must have been stalking my page on the low because I swore I’d get to her before she had a chance to see the post Taryn tagged me in, gushing over being the most lit maid of honor ever.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Zee. It wasn’t about any type of snake shit. And it just sort of...happened. We settled on a destination wedding and I already knew what your travel situation was, so I didn’t want to bring it up and make you feel left out.” Aside from the fact that I really believed Taryn was a better choice, I genuinely meant no malice toward Zee. Plus, she was on papers and wouldn’t be cleared to leave the country for another few years; a true hothead, her hands kept her in trouble with the law.
“Bitch, how the fuck I’m not gon’ feel left out when you not even havin’ the shit here? A real ass bitch who’s a real ass friend and wants to do right by the real ass bitches that done cut for her—you know what? It don’t even matter, cuz I see what it is. It’s cool, though. Keep that same fuckin’ energy when all this shit blow up in yo’ face. When all yo shit’s laid foul, don’t run yo’ ass back here for nay-thing. I ain’t got shit for you. Matter fact, get the fuck up out my shit!”
The entire time she spoke, she paced back and forth between checking her phone, breaking down her cigar to roll up, and checking the pot she had cooking on the stove; smelled like oxtails, and god knows I loved her oxtails.
“I’ll leave because I don’t want shit to be said that we can’t come back from, but I want us to talk later, Zee.”
“Come back from what, bitch? I said what I said. Mrs. Calloway 2.0.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, you excused—right the fuck up out my house!”
Refusing to stand there and argue with Zee about some shit that wasn’t a big deal in my book, I did as she asked and put distance between me and the one person I hoped would bear genuine happiness that Max and I finally got it right. She’d come around...hopefully.
Back in my car, I took a few seconds to recenter myself. Zee’s funky ass energy had really interrupted my peace, especially since I couldn’t get her words out of my head.
Mrs. Calloway 2.0...the fuck did that shit mean?
I had one more stop today and swiped through my notifications to find the address to plug into my GPS when I came across the very thing that set Zee’s crazy ass off.
@taryn_the_goddess: #maidOfHonorFlow with my bachelorette boo thang @MzRavenzReign #sheSaidYesToTheDress #becomingMrsCalloway #bridalBaddie #goodGirlsGlowUp
I had no time to even let the mess Taryn started settle in before yet another piece of Coral Hills I wanted to forget interrupted my scrolling. I swear, this day couldn’t get any worse.
“Yeah...”
No pleasantries, none of that fake love folks gave when they hadn’t spoken in forever. No point in wasting my time with it when it came to her.
“And that’s exactly why everything you think you done won is gon’ crumble, lil’ girl.”
“Did you need something? Because I’m kinda busy.”
“Doing what? Living a lie that’s gon bust wide open one day and swallow ya’ lil’ stuck up ass? You so high and mighty now that I gotta hear about what’s goin’ on with you in the streets?”
Zee. Couldn’t be nobody but her.
“I just wanna know how you fix your mouth to ask a hussy you don’t know from a can of spam to stand in for a gal you claim you love like a sister. You so busy lookin’ down on folks, thinkin’ you better than them, and you gon’ mess around and be right back at rock bottom with ‘em.”
“Mama, I really don’t have time to do this with you right now.”
“Oh, but you got time to forget where you came from, huh? You really gon’ stand before God and marry that man with a straight face? Knowing damn well you livin’ a lie? That ain’t how I raised you, Niesha.”
“And you don’t have time to appreciate the fact that I made it, that I did something with my damn life instead of—”
“Instead of what, bein’ like ya mama? Niesha, you act like this ain’t the same struggle that raised you,” my mother snapped.
It was always like this with us. Always at odds. A cool flame that burned slow and steady, waiting for the next spat to come along and spark an inferno. Did I love my mama? Yes, but I’d be damned if I followed her path and settled for being plain, broke, and alone.
“Mama, I...I don’t have the energy to do this with you right now. I’ll put your invitation in the mail. If you come, fine. If not, that’s fine as well. But if you can’t just be happy for me, stay away.”
“Who you tryin’ to convince this lil’ fairy tale is true? You or me?”
“I gotta go, Mama.”
“Runnin’ is what you do best, but tell me this, Niesha. Where you gon’ run when that man see the truth you been’ tryin’ to hide? What’s gon’ happen to your happiness then?”
“Bye, Mama.”
Mark my words, I refused to be a lonely, bitter woman like my mother. Never would the things I achieved be good enough for her; never would I get an ounce of praise or accolade from her, so fuck it. I was everything she’d never be, and that was her cross to bear. I worked too hard to build a life she’d never admit she was jealous of, and if I had to permanently sever ties with the ugliness of The Hills to keep that life intact, I’d do it with no regrets.
Nothing and no one would jeopardize this next step Max and I were taking. Folks could either act right or get left because what was for me would be mine—by any means necessary. Anyone that got in the way could get gone.