AFTER I GOT MY SIZES taken for Sammy’s main outfit—basically a prep school uniform, shirt, tie, and khaki pants—Ashley brought me into a giant room that looked like it could fit two airplanes inside, easy. But it was completely empty, except for one long table and a bunch of chairs.
“This is the soundstage, where a lot of the shooting will take place,” she explained. “Today, though, we’re just doing a table read to get started.”
I was already self-conscious about the fact that I didn’t know anything about anything, but I asked anyway. “What’s a table read?”
“It’s where all the actors sit around the table and just read the script all the way through,” she explained. “It’s a great way for everyone to get to know each other, and just see how the story flows.”
I heard voices behind me and realized that the room was slowly filling up with people.
“Is Iris around?” I asked, hoping for a familiar face.
“No, she’s back in L.A.,” Ashley said. “Hopefully she’ll come to the set when we shoot the locations up in Eastport.”
“When is that?”
“At the very end of the shoot.” Ashley didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that I’d asked her about sixty-two questions in less than an hour.
As the new people got closer, I realized some of them were actually not unfamiliar at all. In fact, some of them were completely and totally familiar.
Because they were famous.
The first person I recognized was Adam Blankman, who’d been in some hilarious movies, including Cop Dog and Walking On Milk. Next to him was Becky Sue Woodcock, a country singer who’d won Sing It America! a few years back.
“Holy moly,” I said to myself. Only, I guess it wasn’t totally to myself, because Ashley looked up from her phone.
“Oh, cool,” she said, “the other actors are here. Come say hi.”
We walked over, and I could feel all eyes turn to me, as people said to themselves, Who’s this rookie? It reminded me of Mareli’s first day in school after she’d moved here from Puerto Rico, and she was sitting by herself at lunch, and for some reason I decided to go up to her, grab five of her French fries, and eat them. She looked up and said, “You’re the rudest person I’ve ever met.” Who knows? Maybe that’s the moment she decided to like me.
“Everyone, this is Pete Milano,” Ashley said. “Our Sammy Powell.”
Mr. Blankman smiled and shook my hand. “Cool! Welcome aboard. I’m playing your pops. I bow down to you, because you have about three thousand more lines than me.”
“Wow,” I said, because I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Ms. Woodcock gave me a big hug. “And I’m your mom, so don’t try any funny stuff, young fella.” She had a thick Southern accent, a really short skirt, and the biggest head of red hair I’d ever seen. It was kind of hard to imagine her as anyone’s mother.
I got introduced to a bunch of other people, some who were playing other, smaller parts, and some people who were producers and behind-the-scenes people, and then we all just kind of stood around, like we were waiting for something to happen.
As it turned out, we were waiting for someone to happen.
About ten minutes later, I saw a few people start whispering into their walkie-talkies (a lot of people have walkie-talkies on movie sets), and then all of a sudden five people walked into the room really fast, talking or texting on their cell phones.
Thirty seconds after that, a golf cart came whizzing through the door. I couldn’t tell who was driving, but in the passenger seat was Shana Fox.
“Hi, everyone! So sorry I’m late!” She hopped out and started air-kissing everyone in the room. I waited for her to get to me and thought about what I’d say to her. She’d been so nice when we met at my audition. But when she shook my hand, she looked as if she’d never seen me before.
“Remember Pete?” Ashley asked her. “He’s playing Sammy.”
Shana squinted her eyes. “Oh, yes, right!” she said. “I apologize. We looked at so many boys for that part.” (We??) She shook my hand. “Well, congratulations, Pete. I look forward to working with you.” And then she was on to the next person.
Ashley watched me watch her go. “When she’s on set, she’s a different person,” she explained. “All business. It’s like she’s a thirty-four-year-old actress in a fifteen-year-old’s body.”
“She’s fifteen already?” I asked.
“Yup,” Ashley laughed. “And that’s as old as she’s gonna get for about ten years, if her managers have anything to say about it.”
The guy who was driving the golf cart walked over to us, and I realized it was Dex Bannion, the guy from Shana’s TV show who Shana said wasn’t her boyfriend.
“Yo,” he said, pumping my hand. “I’m Dex.”
“I’m Pete,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”
He punched Ashley in the arm. “Yo, girl, wassup?”
“Easy on the yo,” Ashley told him. “And also, aren’t you a little young to be driving a golf cart?”
“I’m sixteen, yo,” he answered.
Ashley turned to me. “Dex is going to be playing Croft.”
Whoa. Things just got a lot more intense.
“Your nemesis,” Dex added, with a nemesis-like smile.
“Wow,” I said. “Cool. That’s great.”
He shook his head. “Nah, not that cool, to be honest with you. It’s a jive movie, and I got bigger fish to fry, bro. But I’m doin’ it as a favor to my lady.”
“Your lady?”
He nodded in the direction of Shana. “Right there, bro.”
I was confused. “But—”
“It looks like Nano is about to get started,” Ashley said, cutting me off.
Dex nodded. “Aaaiite,” he said. “Peace.”
Ashley and I watched as Dex hopped in his golf cart and weaved his way to the table, annoying a bunch of people in the process. “At my audition, Shana told me they weren’t going out,” I said.
Ashley looked at me like I was two years old.
“First rule of show business, Pete,” she said. “Never believe a word anyone says.”
SAMMY AND THE PRINCESS, SCENE 4
INT. DORM ROOM—NIGHT
SAMMY IS UNPACKING IN HIS ROOM WHEN A MAN WALKS IN, CARRYING FIVE SUITCASES. HE PUTS THEM DOWN, HUFFING AND PUFFING. THEN HE EXITS. A MINUTE LATER, A KID WALKS IN.
KID (calling off to the man)
Much obliged, Perkins.
THE KID’S NAME IS CROFT CHANDLER, AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE OWNS THE PLACE. WHICH, GIVEN WHO HIS FAMILY IS, ISN’T FAR FROM THE TRUTH. CROFT NOTICES SAMMY.
CROFT
Yo, you must be …
SAMMY
Sammy. Sammy Powell.
CROFT
Right, Sammy.
SAMMY WAITS FOR THE KID TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF. HE DOESN’T.
SAMMY
And you are…?
CROFT
Oh, right. Where are my manners? Croft Chandler.
SAMMY
Croft Chandler?
CROFT
That’s right.
SAMMY
Uh … which one is your first name?
CROFT
Is that a joke?
SAMMY
Actually, no.
CROFT
Don’t you know who I am?
SAMMY
Actually, no again.
CROFT
Come here, let me show you something.
CROFT GUIDES SAMMY OVER TO THE WINDOW
CROFT
See that building, across the quad? That’s the Chandler library right there.
SAMMY
As in Croft Chandler?
CROFT
That’s the one. So just a tip, kid: you might want to get a handle on the traditions around here, and the people who matter. It will go a long way. Now go get me a coffee.
SAMMY
Huh?
CROFT
A coffee. Light with milk.
SAMMY
You drink coffee?
CROFT
D’uh.
SAMMY
Okay, well, that’s weird. And, what’s also weird is that you want me to get it for you.
CROFT
You’re the newbie. The new kid. The rookie. Your one and only job as my roommate is to do as I say. Play the game right, and no one gets hurt.
SAMMY
I’m not going to get your coffee, sorry. But while you’re there, wherever “there” is, would you mind getting me a grape soda?
CROFT STARES AT SAMMY LIKE HE HAS TWO HEADS
CROFT
What did you just say?
SAMMY
Soda. Grape. Yummy.
SAMMY GOES BACK TO HIS UNPACKING, WHISTLING WHILE HE WORKS. HE NOTICES CROFT STILL STARING AT HIM.
SAMMY
Hey, let’s just start over! (notices Croft’s angry look) Or not.
CROFT SUDDENLY SLAMS SAMMY’S SUITCASE SHUT. SAMMY BARELY PULLS OUT HIS FINGERS IN TIME.
CROFT
Let’s get one thing straight, Powell. This is my world. You just live in it.
SAMMY
Your world. Check.
CROFT
Now get me that coffee.
SAMMY MULLS IT OVER, THEN FINALLY DECIDES HE’D LIKE TO LIVE.
SAMMY
I better make it two, in case you’re extra thirsty.
AND SAMMY RUNS OUT TO BEGIN HIS NEW LIFE AS CROFT’S SERVANT.