“THEY WEREN’T ATTACKING the coach to get at you, Evie,” said Maggie softly. “They attacked the entire caravan to cut the Academy off from the outside world. We’re under siege.”
“Precisely so,” said Rumpledshirtsleeves. “The witches want the wall to fall so they can destroy the Academy before the Warrior Princess can graduate, thus removing any chance of the prophecy being fulfilled. These giants are nothing more than prison guards.” He stepped away and began to pace, clucking his black tongue. “Fairyweed is so difficult to cultivate, even under the best of circumstances. Factor in all the extra fairies we needed to handle the new recruits . . .” He shook his head ruefully.
“How much time do we have?” said Evie.
“Days. And all the while Beatrice trilling that everything is fine.”
“But why?” said Maggie. “Why is she acting like this?”
“For the most dangerous of reasons. She believes it to be true.”
Evie had to sit, despite how filthy her uniform was. She was starting to feel light-headed. “What can we do?”
The troll turned to face them, firelight dancing across his eyes. “I’ve been wondering that since I began serving this unfortunate sentence. Believe it or not, our new friends, the giants, might hold the answer.”
“The giants?” said Maggie. “I don’t understand.”
Rumpledshirtsleeves hobbled back over to the table. He stared at Maggie for a moment, then at Evie. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “My plan is only half formed, and that half is already astonishingly dangerous. There are sure to be many spots along the way where you might very easily fail, and all hope will be well and truly lost. It is also entirely possible that neither of you will live through it.”
“Er, perhaps we could come up with a different plan,” said Evie.
“To the north of the Dortchen Wild,” he continued, ignoring her, “beyond the conjoined rivers known as the Two Brothers, lies an ancient forest so cursed, so haunted, that few dare enter. It is known as Goblin’s Glade.”
“I really think an alternate plan might be—”
“Centuries ago, the Glade was enchanted by a trio of wicked witches. It quickly earned a reputation for swallowing up all who entered. As a result, fewer and fewer dared try.” He lifted the steaming kettle from the flame and carefully refilled all three of their cups. The tea leaves swirled in the boiling water. “The forest sat undisturbed, steeping in that dark magic year upon year, soaking it into the trees and the earth and the water and the air itself, metastasizing into something entirely unique. To my knowledge, Goblin’s Glade is the oldest enchanted forest in all the land. That means its magic is also the most potent.” Evie studied the gently swirling tea leaves, the water already mirroring their greenish color. “But unlike the Dortchen Wild, it isn’t the trees that make Goblin’s Glade so dangerous. It is, rather, its citizens. Many questionable beings make their homes there, including no fewer than two of my brothers.” He lowered himself into his chair with a run of crackling joints. “There were one hundred fourteen of us in all. And like one hundred and eleven of those brothers and sisters, I am a middle child. Of all of them, only one sister is even worth exchanging a hawk. She does keep me apprised of my brothers, however, and that is how I know where they live.”
“You had one hundred and thirteen siblings?” said Maggie. “Blimey, Basil’s got nothing on you.”
“That is to say nothing of my three thousand cousins. But of that number, only two concern us now.” He blew on his tea and leaned back with a grimace. “Deep in the heart of Goblin’s Glade lies a dense patch of forest known as the Wood of the Night. And at the edge of the Wood of the Night, there sits an abandoned castle. That castle is where my eldest brother now resides. He, ladies, may well be the key to our salvation. For he possesses an enchanted item that could win the giants to our side.”
Evie’s eyes went wide. She glanced over at Maggie, whose eyes were equally large. “What is it?”
He set down his cup and leaned closer, looking each of them in the eyes. “The item you must recover is a golden harp.” A chill ran through Evie’s body, though she couldn’t say exactly why. “The harp’s music has the unique ability to bewitch giants. With this harp, we could wrest them from the witches’ clutches and put them under our own command.”
“This is incredible!” said Maggie. “We could break the siege ourselves!”
“Precisely. But, it isn’t as simple as walking into the castle and asking to borrow the harp. Both my brothers are heavily involved in the black market of enchanted goods, which is one of the reasons they’ve chosen to live in a place as lawless as Goblin’s Glade. No, parting the harp from my brother’s claws will not be easy. And that is where my younger brother comes in. He is by far the more reasonable of the two. You will need his help to steal the harp from the other.”
“I don’t understand,” said Evie. “Why would he want to help us? You said yourself that you don’t even speak to him.”
Rumpledshirtsleeves stood and sighed. “It is not often that an enchanted item becomes available on the black market. Most who deal in the trade covet their items intensely, hoarding them until something more desirable appears. This mostly happens after a kingdom is plundered or when a witch decides to enchant something new. And when a new piece becomes available, it sets off a chain reaction of fraudulent trades and double-dealings as these rogues try to cheat one another. To entice Rumpelstoatsnout to help us—”
Evie and Maggie both burst out laughing.
“What?” said the troll, affronted.
“Your brother’s called Rumpelstoatsnout?” said Maggie.
“Rumpelstoatsnout is no one to laugh at, I can assure you!”
Maggie bit her finger to keep from laughing. Evie couldn’t even look at her.
“Pay attention now!” croaked Rumpledshirtsleeves. “To entice my brother to help us steal the harp, we must offer him something very valuable in return. And, unfortunately, the thing he covets most is something we must steal from the Academy.”
Both of the girls stopped laughing.
“I warned you, my dears, there is danger from the first word of this plan to the last. We must begin by breaking into Cumberland Hall to recover—”
“Cumberland Hall?” said Evie. Her fingers went to her jeweled neckband. “That’s where this came from. It gave me back my voice.”
“Indeed,” said the troll. “Cumberland Hall is one of the largest storehouses for bewitched items in all the land. With the surplus of princesses and knights ordinarily stationed here, and the magic of the fairies’ wall, there are few places better suited. Some of the most magical items in all the land are kept there. I happen to have it from my sister that Rumpelstoatsnout has long had his eye on one item in particular. She’s been trying to coax me into stealing it for him for years in hopes it might draw him back from the dark path down which he is steadily dancing. Bless her. After all these years, she still thinks he’s redeemable.”
“What’s the item?” said Evie.
“It is called the Bandit’s Chair. It is a small, lightweight chair—white pine, I believe—and can easily be carried on one’s back with the proper strapping.”
“Why would he want a chair so badly? Couldn’t we take something . . . smaller?”
Maggie let out a snort. Her face had gone bright red. “Rumpelstoatsnout!” She burst out laughing. Rumpledshirtsleeves rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“He wants the Bandit’s Chair because whoever sits down upon it will stand somewhere else. His plan is to lure travelers into his home, providing them excellent hospitality, a straw bed, and a hot bath. Then, once they’re at ease, he will invite them to supper, where they’ll sit upon the chair. When they stand, they’ll have gone, but their belongings will not. He’ll be able to rob people blind simply by asking them to sit. He is a thief and a scoundrel, but to save ourselves, we must help him become a better thief and a better scoundrel. If we can deliver him the chair, he’ll help us steal the harp from Rumpelstiltskin.”
A spray of tea splashed across his face. Maggie coughed and choked on what little remained in her mouth. “Rumpelstiltskin? He’s your brother?” One of the miniature assistants began to blot Rumpledshirtsleeves with a cloth.
“I’m sorry,” said Evie. “I’m afraid I don’t know who that is.”
Rumpledshirtsleeves sighed deeply and looked down, waving away the assistant. “He has a penchant for . . . eating children.” He shook his head, clearly pained by this relationship. “Years ago, I wouldn’t have even admitted that he was my blood. But I have finally come to accept that my blood is not me. Rumpelstiltskin’s choices, however odious, are his own.”
Silence fell over the room. The fire crackled, and several trolls snored from the back of the room. Rumpledshirtsleeves rose once again. He set his gnarled hands on the back of his chair. “As much as I wish it were not the case, ladies, and as unorthodox though it may be, it appears you shall be required to complete your first mission before you graduate. And that first mission will be to save Pennyroyal Academy.”
• • •
The night was black and moonless, the sky blasted with stars. Evie stood in the darkness up the road from the glowing torches of the Dining Hall with the rest of her conspirators: Maggie, Demetra, Basil, and Remington.
“You having a laugh?” came a thunderous bellow from the forest. “Galligantusohn eats first, yeah? What’s left over is for you two geezers.”
“I only want the crunchy ones,” said Blunderbull, his voice echoing up from the darkness beyond the knights’ barracks. “I like their metal shells.”
The giants had been arguing for ten minutes about the order in which they would eat everyone once the wall fell. For now, they seemed content to hurl threats and insults at one another, though the intensity of the argument had gotten worse.
The third one, the giant that Demetra had nicknamed Scabby Potatoes because of the itchy pink encrustations covering his body, gave a laugh like a donkey’s bray.
“And you watch yourself as well!” shouted Galligantusohn. “I’ll have you both if you even set your filthy eyes on my meal!”
They went quiet, leaving the crickets to fill the cool night air. “I can’t believe we’re talking about joining forces with them,” said Demetra. She was sitting on the stone wall that followed the curve of the road all the way to the edge of Pennyroyal Castle. Basil sat next to her, with Maggie on the other side. Evie and Remington stood on the hard-packed dirt, alternately pacing and staring out in the general direction of the giants.
“The more I think about it,” said Maggie, “the more I’m convinced it’s a brilliant plan. The witches would never expect—”
“If either of you blokes eats that old bird with the white hair,” roared Galligantusohn, “I’ll eat you just to get to her, yeah?”
“This is impossible,” said Evie. “They won’t shut up!”
“You can hardly blame them,” said Remington. “Deciding who gets to eat Beatrice is terribly important. They can’t leave it too long.”
Evie sighed. “It’s just so hard to think when they’re forever winding one another up.”
“I agree that it’s a rather excellent plan,” said Basil. “Using the witches’ own weapon against them is brilliant. But there’s still the matter of getting to Goblin’s Glade. To turn the giants to our side, first we need to get past them uneaten.”
“Rumpledshirtsleeves has an idea for that as well,” said Maggie. “He says that many years ago the campus went through a massive expansion where they added on a lot of these third-ring buildings. And they used dwarfs to build them. He says the construction tunnels are still there, crisscrossing beneath campus. Some go well out into the forest, so the dwarfs could bring back lumber and stone from the Dortchen Wild.”
“Brilliant,” said Basil in awe. “That troll thinks of everything.”
“Nearly everything,” said Maggie. “There are still two problems with the plan. The first is that there may still be dwarfs down there.”
“What?” said Demetra, pulling up her feet from the road. “Under there?”
“He says it’s only a rumor, but there’s no way to know for certain. And if we do run into them—”
“His exact words were ‘You may well wish you’d stayed above with the giants,’” said Evie. The threat hung in the cricket-soaked air.
“What’s the other problem?” said Basil.
“The tunnels might be able to get us past the giants,” said Maggie. “But we’ll still need to get from there to the Two Brothers. There’s a sizable stretch of enchanted forest we’ll need to navigate with no way of knowing how many witches might be out there.”
The silence returned. A wave of muffled laughter came from inside the Dining Hall. Beatrice’s attempts to reassure everyone continued apace.
“There are so many places it could go wrong,” said Demetra, shaking her head. “How do we even start? They won’t very well just let us into Cumberland Hall so we can collect the chair.”
“We’ve got that part covered,” said Evie. She took a corroded brass key from the inner pocket of her dress. “One of the trolls locked up with Rumpledshirtsleeves is the custodian for the second ring.”
“Once everyone’s asleep,” said Maggie, “Evie and I will go to Cumberland Hall and get the chair. You three focus on gathering food and supplies for the journey. Only knapsacks, and only the essentials. We’ve got to move quickly. This wall could come down at any moment.”
“Of course,” said Demetra. “Basil and I will find some dried meats and things in the kitchens.”
“Right. So we’re all agreed, then?”
There was a moment where no one spoke. Finally, Remington broke the silence. “Just so I understand . . . you two will break into Cumberland Hall and steal the Bandit’s Chair while the three of us are putting together supply kits. Then we’ll drop down a well that Rumpledshirtsleeves recommended and follow the tunnels out beneath the forest—”
“And hope we don’t get killed by dwarfs,” added Basil helpfully.
“And hope we don’t get killed by dwarfs,” said Remington, nodding to Basil. “Then we stroll past the witches—we still haven’t worked that part out yet—and somehow make our way up to Goblin’s Glade to locate a smuggler named Rumpelstoatsnout. He will then help us steal a golden harp from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for the chair. Is that basically it?”
“And then we need to come all the way back,” said Maggie.
“Naturally.”
“Once we’ve all agreed,” said Maggie, looking at each of them through the darkness, “there is no going back. We’re going to be discharged.”
“Yes, but at least we’ll be alive, won’t we?” said Basil.
“It sounds quite exciting,” said Remington. “Saving the world and all that.”
“I’m in as well,” said Demetra. She hopped down from the wall and smoothed her gray Leatherwolf dress.
“Good, then we’ll meet in the Pit before dawn,” said Maggie, climbing down. “Come on. Rumpledshirtsleeves gave us a map. I’ll show you exactly where the Two Brothers are.”
Evie’s eyes flicked over to Remington, though it was difficult to see his face in the dark. “I’ll be along in a minute, Maggie.”
“Oh,” she said as a smile formed on her face. “All right.”
“Come on, then, show us the map,” said Demetra, giving Evie a wink as she led Maggie and Basil away.
“Let’s take a walk, shall we?” said Remington. They began strolling up the road toward the Pennyroyal Castle courtyard, where the world was even darker without the Dining Hall’s torches. Blunderbull’s snores echoed through the forest, punctuated with the hoots of owls and the thrum of crickets.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” said Evie. “Why aren’t you at home? What were you doing out there in the forest?”
“You didn’t really think I’d leave you alone with the Vertreiben, did you?” he said with a grin.
“You stayed?”
“Not exactly. I did go home in the end, and received some rather unexpected news when I arrived. It seems I am now the King of Brentano.”
Evie stopped and looked over at him with a furrowed brow. The night was so dark she could only see the faintest reflection in his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Well . . .” He took a deep breath. “My father was killed.”
“Oh, Remington, I’m so sorry!” She grabbed him and pulled him close.
“A witch got him, quite unexpectedly. The whole kingdom was in mourning when I got back, so no one really noticed that I’d been discharged.”
Evie had no idea what to say, no words of comfort or wisdom. And now the giant’s snores were making her angrier and angrier.
“It was quite a shock, to be honest. Not something I could have prepared myself for. So . . . I left. I needed to do something, and there was nothing to be done there but weep, so I came back to see if I could help with the Vertreiben. By the time I got here, you were already off on your mad plan to the Drudenhaus. Then when they brought you back to the Infirmary . . .” He shook his head. “I’m only happy they’ve got such a cracking good medical staff here.”
“You were here?”
“Come now, the Infirmary is full of frogs. You never thought to look?”
She smiled and shook her head, astonished. “I suppose I didn’t.”
“You can be forgiven for that. There were other things on your mind, weren’t there?” Something fluttered past overhead. A bat, perhaps. “This is quite another mad plan, isn’t it? Hope we can escape these monsters with some underground tunnel and then hope we don’t pop up in a field of witches? It’s a bit like drowning in the bathtub of a sinking ship.”
A chill ran through Evie’s body. Drowning in the bathtub of a sinking ship. Though Rumpledshirtsleeves’s plan had given her a glimmer of hope, it was hard to disagree with Remington’s assessment. As unsettled as it all was, and whether she was ready for it or not, her first mission would begin before the sun rose the next morning.
But first, there was a chair that needed stealing.
• • •
“Remember, Evie,” said Maggie, her voice echoing into the vast expanse of Cumberland Hall, “Rumpledshirtsleeves said not to touch anything but the Bandit’s Chair. Everything in here is bewitched, and there’s no telling how it might behave.”
Evie nodded and held out her torch. Firelight danced across the sweeping limestone walls. Even in the dim light, she could see that the hall was immense and almost preternaturally beautiful. The floor was inlaid with a crisscross of different wood shades that formed a mesmerizing pattern stretching to the distant end of the hall. The walls were dominated by arching pillars of white stone that bloomed into the ceiling, forming a network of carved veins accented with the sculpted faces of beasts. The pillars served as entrances to various anterooms that flanked the wide central hallway.
“Where do we start?” said Evie. “It’s enormous.”
“I’ll take this side. Let’s do this quickly, all right? I don’t like it in here.”
Evie nodded again, her face solemn, and together they moved forward. Each step echoed like a hammer strike across the curves of stone. The air was musty and dusty and thick. As they reached the first set of archways, she stopped and faced Maggie. “What do we do if we find something that could help us on the mission?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, weapons? Navigation aids? Things like that?”
Maggie sighed, unsure. “I think we should just focus on the chair and get out of here as fast as we can.”
“All right.” They separated. Maggie disappeared beneath the first archway on the left as Evie went to the right. Her pulse began to race. It was darker inside the small side rooms. Above her, the pillars bloomed like waterspouts. The room was gray and cold and smelled of wet stone.
The far wall was carved to look like creeping ivy that climbed all the way to the ceiling. There were several stone pedestals placed around the room, some topped with glass domes. Wooden tables along the walls were also covered in glass. Each housed a magical item of some description. Others, like a series of enchanted woodcuttings, adorned the walls themselves. Each had a small placard that described the item. The first pedestal Evie passed held a simple wooden flute. The placard read
Flute of the Honest Miller
Oak and brass
When one who lies should hear this song
A milling stone he’ll be ’fore long
Evie read with skepticism. An enchanted flute that turns liars into millstones? That can’t possibly be true. Of course, according to Forbes, a cursed portrait had turned him into a pig, so perhaps some impossible things were true.
She moved on to the next pedestal, where a gray moth flitted about beneath the glass. It crawled upside down, the underside of its wings as brown and mottled as bark. An oversized iron lock held the dome shut.
Dusk Moth
When evening falls, this moth grows strong
Lifts newborns to witches who sing its song
A chill coursed through Evie’s body, and she quickly moved along. The Bandit’s Chair was clearly not in this room, so she headed for the passage to the next chamber. A portrait of a rather severe-looking woman in a green frock met her, glowering down from the wall. Next to her, the table held a spool of twine, a battered and chinked hammer, and a dried leaf in the shape of a skull. Still no chairs. The next chamber was filled wall-to-wall with items used for spinning. Wheels, bobbins and treadles, spindles and needles of all sizes, each of them cataloged and protected beneath the glass. Many of the needles were rusted, and a few were recognizable only by their general shape—
Maggie screamed. Her voice caromed through the hall, sending Evie into a panic. “Maggie!” She bolted out of the spinning room, nearly toppling a pedestal holding a small pile of flax. Maggie was waiting just across the hall, her eyes as wide as soup bowls. “Are you all right? What happened?”
“Evie,” she said, and then a smile crept across her face. “You’ll never believe what they’ve got in there.” She tilted her torch toward the chamber she’d just been searching. “See for yourself.”
“You can’t do that, Maggie!” said Evie, her hand going to her heart. “You nearly scared me to death.”
“Look!”
Evie walked over and peered inside. The chamber was empty except for a weathered rowboat made from gray and lifeless wood.
“A boat? So what?”
“It’s Stupid Hans’s boat!” said Maggie. “The real Stupid Hans!”
“Stupid Hans?”
“You’ve never heard of Stupid Hans? Evie, this boat can travel faster on land than on water. Do you know how useful this would be on our mission? We could row our way straight through to Rumpledshirtsleeves’s brother!”
Evie turned to her, incredulous. “Through a sea of witches.”
Maggie’s smile began to fade. “Oh . . . right.”
“Come on, Maggie, focus. All we’re looking for is the Bandit’s Chair.”
“Bandit’s Chair. Right.”
They went back to their respective sides of the hall. After the spinning room, Evie found a chamber that was a dazzle of sparkling rocks and gemstones. Each had a small card that described the stone’s power. And yet, still no sign of the chair. She was just about to pass through to the next room when something caught her eye. It was a single gray feather sitting atop a stone pedestal.
“‘Bewitched squab feather,’” read Evie. “‘When one becomes lost with no way to go / This feather leads true despite how the winds blow.’”
Leave it, Evie. Remember what Rumpledshirtsleeves said.
Her heart thumped. She took a furtive glance over her shoulder to be sure Maggie wasn’t watching, then carefully lifted the glass dome. It scraped a bit, but she managed to lift it enough to get her hand under and grab the feather. She felt a bit hypocritical, since she’d just chastised Maggie, but the feather sounded incredibly useful. She carefully replaced the dome and slipped the feather into the hidden interior pocket of her dress. As she turned to continue on, something else caught her eye, equally as small and equally as intriguing:
Needle of the Poorest Maiden
Silver
When speak’d the words
“Needle, needle, sharp and fine”
This needle makes fabrics in
almost no time
“Needle, needle, sharp and fine,” she thought. Instant fabrics could be useful if the others get cold at night.
She held her breath and tried to work the glass free. It popped open, and she nearly dropped her torch. She carefully picked up the needle and inspected it. Nothing special about it at all. She joined it with the feather in her pocket, then began to replace the glass.
Stop taking things, Evie! she shouted in her mind. You’re here for the chair and the chair alone—
“Evie!” hissed Maggie from across the hall, and she nearly dropped the glass again. “They’ve got the actual ball of crystal here! From the Castle of the Golden Sun!”
“Come on, Maggie, the chair! The chair!” A flush of shame came over her. The feather and the needle felt like lead weights in her pocket, testaments to her hypocrisy.
She made quick work of the next few chambers. One contained only a tree made of bone. She forced herself to hurry past without reading what it could do. The next contained several displays that seemed empty but actually contained minuscule objects. One held only a single grain of sand. According to the sign, it could shine as brightly as the sun. Evie shook her head and moved on, keeping her focus where it belonged. Bandit’s Chair . . . Bandit’s Chair . . . Bandit’s Chair . . .
She peered through another piece of glass at a single flower, dull red with a short, thick, grayish-green stem. The placard so confused her that she had to take the flower out of its home and see it with her own eyes. She twirled it in her fingers. It gave off a sweet, earthy smell. According to what was written, the flower could turn all enemies in range to ravens simply by breaking the stem. She held her breath and slipped it into the pocket of her dress, cursing her own weakness.
“Ahh!” screamed Maggie. Evie jumped from guilt. “The hands of the Handless Maiden!”
“Maggie, please stop doing that!” She smoothed her dress over her stolen items and continued to the next chamber. There was a pewter stein. A horse’s shoe. A wig of white and gold—
Her eyes shot back to the stein. There, just behind the display, sat a small chair made of wood. The bark was still on the branches used to make the legs and back. It looked decidedly uncomfortable, yet as small and light as Rumpledshirtsleeves had said.
Bandit’s Chair
Pine
Sit close over here
Rise far over there
She approached the chair with caution. It was so unassuming, she had almost missed it. Yet all she’d have to do is sit in it for the chair to reveal its incredible power, flinging her off into the world somewhere. She gripped the edges of the seat and lifted. It was as light as driftwood.
She turned to look for Maggie but found herself once again drawn to another magical item. The pewter stein was just in front of her. There were images of people etched all around its dull silver surface. They were jumping over candles and thorny bushes and wolves and all manner of things. She set the chair down and lifted the glass—
The stein pounced off the table. Evie screamed and jumped back, the glass dome shattering on the floor. The stein soared across the room, clanged off the wall, and ricocheted back toward Evie. She dove away as it sailed past, only just missing her head. It smashed into another glass dome, then launched itself into the air. Her torch rolled across the floor, sending freakish shadows up the walls.
“Maggie! Help!” She skittered beneath a table as the stein clattered off the wall and shot straight toward her. It caromed off the floor and smashed through a table on its way to the ceiling.
Maggie appeared in the doorway, her eyes following the darting mug. “Hang on, I’ve got just the thing!” She vanished, leaving Evie to cower from the rampaging stein. A moment later, she was back. In her hand was a small white doily.
“What are you going to do, polish it?” shouted Evie.
Maggie stepped carefully into the room as the stein whizzed past. When it clanged against the wall and raced back toward her, she lunged at it with the doily, which unfurled like a fishing net to many times its own size. The stein sailed into it and clattered to the floor, captured.
Evie slunk out from under the table, watching the doily with wide eyes. “Thanks.”
“Mother Lempert’s Doily,” said Maggie. “Just reading about it over there.”
“Mother Lempert’s Doily,” said Evie, retrieving her torch. “Brilliant.” The delicate lace leapt and hopped like a frog was trapped underneath.
“Hey! You found the chair!” She picked it up. “Rumpled-shirtsleeves was right. It’s as light as a feather.” She turned to Evie, who was still staring at the trapped stein with shock. “Well? We’ve got the chair. Let’s go.”
“Do we just leave that thing there?”
“Yes. If we manage to save the Academy, we’ll confess. Until then, let’s get out of here.”