Jane
This was supposed to be Jane’s fantasy, but now you’re the one living it. You’re not sure exactly how that switch occurred—maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when she proposed her idea to you and Rob.
Feeling a bit foolish, you follow the script the three of you worked out, stripping naked outside the bathroom door, folding your clothes carefully and hiding them away in the linen closet. You feel intermingled with Jane, knowing that this could easily have been her standing where you are now, a curl of anxiety in the pit of her stomach, a chill from the air settling into her skin. Since the three of you got together, you have been entranced by the fluidity of the boundaries between you. Sometimes in bed it’s as if Jane’s cunt is your own, but the same goes for Rob’s cock. Often you close your eyes and allow yourself to float between the two, as if your body is an ocean wrapping around their two definite and opposite forms.
You run your hands down the front of your bare chest and tweak your nipples, thinking of Jane’s heavy breasts.
She’s waiting for you in the bathroom, which she has gotten overly serious about decorating to look like a temple. LED candles line every surface, and the scent of amber rises from the bathwater she has prepared. Flowers cover the mirror on the front of the medicine cabinet, making the room seem darker. Some of the strange trinkets she likes to buy are in here, too, though you’ve never been clear on what the twisted metal forms are supposed to represent. You suppress your smile because you don’t want to offend her.
Jane kneels beside the tub wearing nothing but a shawl wrapped around her hips, a flower in her hair and a set of clamps swinging from her breasts. You find the whole scene a bit silly, but that doesn’t stop your body from responding to hers. The dim light flickers off the water and makes her skin seem even warmer than you know it is. She gives you a mysterious expression from beneath a fringe of dark hair and stands, the chain between her breasts clinking as she does. Her curves go far beyond the obvious. Of course you admire the lovely arcs of breasts and hips and thighs, but Jane has the abundance of a fertility goddess, and she is also soft and round in her calves, her stomach, her fingers.
You notice that you’re thinking about goddesses and can’t stop the smile that comes now. As usual, Jane has managed to pull you into her world.
Her lips twitch as well, reminding you that she does have a sense of humor about her ways. “Are you ready for your purification, initiate?”
You’ve forgotten your line. Instead, with an inarticulate sound, you step into her arms.
She envelops you. Her palms are damp from the bathwater. Pressing against you, her nipples are warm and tight, and the clamps cold and hard. She touches you methodically, fingertips brushing your forehead, lips, throat, navel and inner thighs. You agreed to these ritualistic touches because you wanted to make her happy, but they have begun to take on significance even if you don’t know exactly what they mean. The beginnings of arousal take root in the depths of your pelvis.
“Tonight, in this place, you will claim the pleasures of the body. You will do so on your own terms, but know that I will be beside you.” Jane intones the words with the dramatic voice of a movie villain. You cough to cover an involuntary nervous laugh. She frowns, but goes on. “The first step is to leave behind all that is old so that your body may become new. We will wash away the past.”
She says this with a type of gentleness you’ve never been comfortable with because it makes you wish that you could cry. You’ve been open with Jane and Rob as you have with no other lovers, and for a moment you regret how much you told them about the things that have happened in your life and the ways that your body and desires have made you feel afraid and ashamed. That, after all, is how you got into this situation. Jane told you both about her fantasy of being taken as if for the first time, and when you reacted to it, she and Rob decided it would be better to design the scene for you.
You look away from her, searching for something bland to focus on, but she has transformed the bathroom too thoroughly and you can’t escape her intentions. In desperation, you recall the chocolate you ate in the break room at work earlier that day and other mundane details. She seems to know that you’ve pulled away and waits until you have a hold of yourself before guiding you into the bath.
The water feels more intimate than ordinary water. Its heat rolls between the cheeks of your ass, reminding you where Jane’s ritual is headed. You shiver, and it’s only the pressure of Jane’s hands that allows you to complete the process of entering the water.
She bathes you at first by scooping handfuls of water and pouring them over you, but as you begin to crave her touch, she gives that to you. Jane’s oiled fingers smooth across your skin, smelling of coconut and sugar. You sink farther into the warmth and steam and sensation. As if you’ve had a glass of heady wine, your thoughts lift and drift, no longer quite sensible.
Jane doesn’t caress you in an overtly sensual way, but as the bath continues, you notice yourself twitching with arousal. If the script for this scene allowed, you would pull her close and bury your face between her pussy lips, but you know she wouldn’t like for you to break the spell that way. You absorb her touch and try to contain the desire it builds within you.
How You Got into This
Rob came in Jane’s ass and collapsed onto her with a grunt. You were under them both, your fingers on Jane’s clit and your tongue in her mouth. Until that moment, you’d been caught up in the intimate voyeurism of your position, rocked by Rob’s thrusts, privy to the way Jane’s cunt clenched in response to him. Their bodies were heavy, though, and the difficulty of breathing with both of them on top of you snapped you out of your sensual haze. You released Jane and began working your way into a free spot on the bed.
Jane sighed and clung to you. “Don’t move yet.” Her voice was thick. “Everything’s too perfect right now.” She nibbled the side of your neck. “I love you. And Rob, I love you, too. Jesus, I love you both.”
Rob squeezed her, the gesture transferring through her body to yours. “It was good.” He made no move to pull out of her ass.
“I want…” Jane often spent her postcoital moments fantasizing about what she wanted to try next, and you and Rob shared a knowing smile. “It would be so hot to take it in the ass as if it was the first time.”
The derisive snort came out of you before you realized it would hurt her feelings. Her head snapped in your direction. “What?” you demanded, your guilt at having insulted her making you defensive.
She continued to stare at you. Rob raised an eyebrow, urging you to make it right. You shrugged, embarrassed now. “First times are awkward, right? Doesn’t make sense to go back to that.” There was more behind your words, making your voice crack, and you tried again to disengage yourself, afraid that your lovers would find you out.
“Awkward can be sexy,” Jane said. “It can be fun.”
“Sure. I guess.”
“You guess.” The darkness of Rob’s tone told you he already guessed some of what you wished you could conceal.
You didn’t want them to touch you anymore, and they understood, gently making space for you to crawl out of contact with them. You realized it would be hopeless to try to hide. They already knew you far too well. “People pressure you, you know. I don’t think I’ve been ready the first time I did anything.” You went on a bit, oblivious to their frowns of concern. Then you noticed Jane’s furrowed brow and Rob’s clenched fist. “It’s fine,” you said quickly. “I’m fine.” You were surprised that what you said upset them. You’d always assumed everyone’s story was like yours and that, like you, people just didn’t often talk about those things.
It was too late to downplay what you’d said, though. Jane insisted on a “redo”—giving you a first-time experience that you could treasure. Though you expected ritual from Jane, Rob was the one who designed most of the scene the three of you agreed to enact. Rob realized how much you needed to be in control, and he figured out how to accomplish that.
Rob
You leave the bathroom and go to the living room, which Rob has prepared. He’s created a starker landscape than Jane’s flowery, candlelit temple. The lights are off, and white sheets cover every irrelevant piece of furniture.
Contrast pulls your gaze where Rob wants it to be. He’s thrown a red sheet over the coffee table and populated that surface with lube and stainless-steel butt plugs arranged from small to large. Beside the coffee table, on a sturdy wooden chair, a thick black dildo rises from the seat.
Rob stands beyond the dildo. You recognize his club clothes, the black mesh shirt, leather pants and studded boots, but in the context of the evening, his attire seems priestly. His dark skin blends into the room’s shadows. The top of his bald head gleams in the light you’ve let in from the hallway, and the changes in illumination make it impossible for you to read his face.
When you enter, he doesn’t look up. Instead, he waits until you become uncertain, shifting from one foot to the other and wondering if you’re supposed to start in on the butt plugs with no comment from Rob. You are still warm from Jane’s bath, so it’s not cold that makes you shiver.
“We got enthusiastic about doing this scene,” Rob says, “but I’m going to ask you now if you’re sure about it. Are you happy about this? Is this what you want? Don’t worry about the way Jane and I might feel. I want to know how you feel.”
You want to be honest with him. “I wasn’t sure this was necessary, but now I think there’s something to it.”
“Does that mean you want this? Are you ready? As far as I’m concerned, we can pack this all up and try again next week.”
The butt plugs on the coffee table ask the question more boldly than he can. His cock has been in your ass plenty of times, but now he and Jane have forced you to acknowledge the squirming fear that’s always present on some level, even when you’re so turned on that you beg for it. You glance toward him as you hesitate, but he seems content to stand there all night if necessary.
Unable to make up your mind, you step closer to the coffee table, and then kneel. With the tip of one finger, you nudge the smallest butt plug. The way it rolls in response speaks to its perfect balance. It’s surprisingly warm to your touch, and touching the side of one of the bottles of lube confirms that Rob has made sure that everything on the table is already at body temperature. The caring act makes you feel safer than you’ve ever been. Again, you find that you can hardly stand your lovers’ gentleness.
You are more certain than ever that you can take all the time in the world to decide what you want to do. The butt plug is weighty when you lift it, more than its size would suggest. The smooth metal surface reflects hints of the room around you, including a distorted view of Rob’s tall figure. You ask yourself whether you want it inside you and your body responds with a tremor of intense arousal that contrasts with the lingering relaxation of Jane’s bath.
Reaching behind yourself, you explore with the tip of your finger. Your body is sensitive and receptive, and you moan aloud as you circle your asshole. “Yes,” you tell Rob, your voice shaking.
“Then remember: You’ve never done this before. This is the first time. There is no right and wrong, and you do everything exactly the way you want at exactly the pace you want it.”
You look up at him, feeling small because you’re so far below him. “Okay.” You don’t like how timid you sound, but this, also, is honest.
Behind you, the floor creaks, and you see that Jane has followed you into the living room. Rob holds up a hand, stopping her. “We’re both here to do whatever we can for you, but if you want to be alone for this…”
“No!” You stand and reach a hand toward each of them, forward and backward, balanced between them as always. “Please stay.” Rob grins, and Jane nods solemnly. She sits cross-legged on the floor, casually exposing her cunt, which is bare beneath her shawl. Rob steps farther back into the shadows, but remains standing.
You close your eyes. You can feel them both, even though they’re not touching you. This relationship constantly takes on unexpected shapes, always growing into more than you dared to hope for it.
An exhale guides you down to the floor again. You make everyone wait, listening to the three of you breathing. A pulse begins somewhere in the room. You convince yourself it is the sound of your heartbeats, synchronized by the ritual, sounding larger and louder than normal. You realize how much Jane’s thoughts have become your thoughts in the time you’ve been together. Like Rob, though, you no longer have anything to prove, no need to close yourself off from her. You realize now that there are far worse things in the world than silliness and a little faith.
You keep expecting one of them to tell you to get on with it. You can’t imagine it’s arousing for either of them to watch you kneeling, breathing slowly in and out, the butt plug resting inert in the palm of one hand. They may have designed the scene, but the pace of it is in your hands now, just like the plug.
The moment stretches, but no matter how much you allow it to extend, you feel no tension or pressure. Your insides tighten anyway, but the sensation is benign rather than anxious. Anticipation.
Unexpected desire bubbles up within you, steaming off your skin like the lingering aromas of Jane’s bath. The wait has been worth it, because you are certain now that you want to do this, for the reasons your lovers gave as well as a few private ones of your own.
You spread lube over the plug. Your tongue rests in the corner of your mouth as you do, a testament to your careful concentration. You are used to sex punctuated by sweating and moaning, haste and need. The quiet and serenity of this scene make you feel this must be something other than sex.
It is with a strange sense of dignity that you spread the cheeks of your ass with your left hand and set the tip of the plug against your ass with your right. You press the plug gingerly forward, expecting a long negotiation with your body. Your ass, however, swallows it smoothly, with an ease that you’ve never known.
You breathe and allow your mind to absorb what your body has always done. You are full inside, but feel no need to squirm or whine. You wait, weighing the sensation, asking yourself whether it feels good. There is a heaviness to the plug. Your ass twitches around it as if adjusting its grip, and in that moment inner skin glides against steel, hidden muscles clench, and with sudden, blinding clarity, you know that this is heaven and you need to come right now.
How They Helped You Make a Selfish Plan
“And then,” Jane said, “when you’re ready, Rob or I can fuck your ass. When you ask, of course. Or maybe we should both do it. I could warm you up with my fingers and then guide him in.”
Since the three of you got together, you have often wondered how you ever had time for television. You don’t know what’s on the radio anymore, and you haven’t seen any of the videos people are watching on the Internet. In all your recent memories, you see the three of you, naked, sticky with sweat and sex, limbs as tangled together as your desires, insatiable, pausing your fucking only long enough to catch your breath or plan more elaborate fucking. This moment was no different. Your jaw hurt either from sucking Rob’s cock or eating Jane’s pussy. You’d come so hard a few minutes earlier that you’d given yourself a headache, but you weren’t sorry. You traced the shape of Jane’s breast over Rob’s chest and tried to focus on what Jane was suggesting.
There was something about it that you didn’t like, but instead of nailing down precisely what, you would rather have ignored the scene you were planning and sucked her nipples a little longer. Again, it was Rob who understood and stepped in. “No,” he said, the shake of his head firm.
“No?” Jane grabbed his bare ass and teased the cheeks apart with her fingers. “I’m good at it, you know.”
He grunted. “I do know.”
“Come on.” She grabbed your hand and guided it toward Rob’s ass, next to hers. “I’ll show you exactly what I’ll do to you.”
Rob gasped as she probed at his asshole, but then wriggled free. “No. It can’t be one of us.”
You laughed. “Well, it can’t be anyone else. You two are the only people I want.”
He touched the point of your chin. You marveled at how the gesture made you feel both challenged and protected. “If it’s one of us, you’ll try to please us.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” you said.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s not what we’re doing here.” He sighed. “Look, let’s say it’s me fucking you, and you want to take it really slow. If you go too slow, my cock might start getting soft—that’s just reality. Then you or Jane is trying to keep me turned on, and the scene’s not about you anymore.”
“If I do it and use a strap-on, that wouldn’t be a problem,” Jane pointed out, waggling her eyebrows.
Rob shrugged, leaving the point for you to take over if you wanted to. You smiled at Jane, but agreed with Rob. “I know what he means,” you told Jane. “I wouldn’t want you to get bored. I’d start moving to make the harness rub your clit. It’s weird to be selfish. It’s not easy.”
You
You have the largest plug inside your ass. You have no idea how long Jane and Rob have been watching you take one plug after another, but it feels as if it’s been all night. Your hand works lazily at your sex—you’ve already made yourself come once and, while you could get yourself going again, you don’t want to masturbate just to avoid what you know is the next step.
The dildo waits in the chair where Rob has mounted it, the only lover in this room that you can fuck with total selfishness. You crawl to it, knowing that Rob and Jane are watching your ass, wondering if the silver base of the plug inside you flashes in the dim light as you move.
On a whim, you kiss the tip of the dildo when you reach it, an impromptu ritual touch of your own. Then you lube it, enjoying the long strokes of your palm down its hard surface.
You stand, keeping your eyes on the glistening phallus. A sigh escapes your lips as you remove the plug that fills your ass. Rob steps over to hold the chair steady for you. You brace your hands on the chair back, between his, and he hooks his pinkie finger around yours. The sweetness of the touch makes you look up and meet his eyes as you move forward to straddle the chair. The side of the dildo tickles your inner thigh. Your stomach flutters as you think about how it will feel to take it in.
“Do you want Jane to come close, too?” Rob whispers. You nod, wondering how he always seems to know what you want a few seconds before you do.
The chain between Jane’s nipples clinks, and moments later you feel the heat of her body radiating into your back.
“Touch me,” you tell her.
Her hands come to rest against your outer arms, so lightly that you can barely feel them. It’s enough for you to feel joined with them both even as you perform this action that the three of you have decided must come from you alone.
You lower yourself cautiously, allowing the thick head of the dildo to spread your cheeks. A little pressure lodges it just inside your asshole. Well-opened by the plugs, you can tell that it will admit the dildo easily. You could take it all now, but you pause instead, thigh muscles trembling slightly, arm muscles twitching as they stabilize you.
You close your eyes and tease the dildo in and out of your ass. The elasticity of your own body amazes and pleases you. Your ass is slick and just tight enough for pleasure. Recalling that you are supposed to be doing this as if for the first time, you prepare to adjust your behavior, then realize you have nothing to change. This moment feels absolutely new.
Standing naked between your lovers, fucking your own ass because you all thought that would be a good idea, you don’t even recognize sex anymore. This thing you’re doing with Jane and Rob has its own unique form and purpose, one you could never have conceived even a few short years ago.
You throw your head back, so far that you can look at Jane. “I get this fantasy now,” you tell her. You want them both to touch you more, to lick you everywhere, but you know that they’ll hang back until you’ve had your moment with this dildo. Never have you felt so decadent or so in control of your pleasure.
You take the dildo farther into your body. You don’t know if what’s going on in your head matches Jane’s intentions or Rob’s plans, but none of that matters now. Squeezing the chair back tighter, you fuck yourself, letting your movements be wild because you know that Rob and Jane will catch you if they need to.
The last bit of pressure stored up within you explodes into joy. You seat yourself fully on the dildo, and in that moment your body is a comfortable place to live. You shift your weight and let it rest on your ass, pressing an exquisite ache into your deepest parts. Full to the brim, you feel magnanimous, ready to give and receive without boundaries or reservations. You reach for Jane’s cunt and Rob’s cock. Your body, his body, her body—all three mix into one pleasure.