The king’s carriage arrived early the next morning.
Sina did not leave Camlochlin the way she came. Now she knew these faces coming to bid her farewell outside the castle. They had all been kind to her, inviting her into their homes and their hearts, despite how she’d insulted them. They loved with passion, honor, and, best of all, romance. It sprang from every shoot of heather decorating the corners of every house, including her—Adam’s room. It slowed her steps on the way to the carriage and tempted her to turn back.
She spread her gaze over the dozens of faces waiting outside the castle to bid her farewell. Adam was not among them. She looked over the hills beyond, but she didn’t find him there either.
She’d barely slept last night. She prayed for God to send Adam back to her and prayed for him to stay away. She’d been afraid to sleep and dream of his kiss, his touch. Even now, fully awake, she wasn’t sure if any of this was real. How could the caress of a man’s mouth make her feel wanton and innocent at the same time? How could being in his arms tempt her to defy her father, forget William? She’d never felt anything like it before. Being near him sparked desires in her that she didn’t know she possessed. Kissing him was like lightning striking through her, making her feel more alive.
She’d wept into her pillow as the night wore on, unable to understand how the reason for his resistance both broke her heart and gave her strength. She had thought he wanted to be rid of her, but he’d been hurt by her letter to William. She wished she had thrown it into the fire the night she wrote it. She kept it with her now, so Adam would never be tempted to read it again. None of it was true. Not anymore. He had to protect his clan. She wanted that as well. If she told him she loved him, he might try to defy her father and hell would come to this heavenly place. So she hadn’t told him. And he hadn’t told her.
Each step forward was more difficult than the last, and she was glad General Marlow held her arm.
“Do you know where he is?” she turned to his friend and asked. “Is he with someone?”
The general set his gaze toward Bla Bheinn. “Just Goliath, I’d wager.”
It gave her relief and tore at her heart at the same time. “Keep an eye on him, will you?”
“Of course, my lady,” he said quietly, looking at his feet.
They stopped when they came to Davina.
Sina looked into her large, bloodshot eyes. In whatever way the queen’s death had affected her, the chief’s wife didn’t let it stop her from seeing Sina off.
“I’m sorry to lose ye as my daughter,” she said without reserve and dabbed at her eye. Behind her, her mountain of a husband placed his hand on her shoulder.
Anne was gone. Her mother had denied her. Sina would have liked to look at this warm, welcoming woman as her mother. But it wasn’t to be.
“We have loaded the carriage with enough food to last until ye come to the end of yer journey.”
What if this was the end? What if the end of the world was where she should be? No, she wasn’t thinking right. She was tired. She missed London, her friends, her handservant Katie, whom Sina appreciated more after having to dress and undress herself every day.
“I will tell my father of your kindness and care for me,” Sina choked out, wringing her skirts in her hands. In just a few short days the MacGregors had won her over—the people and their hounds.
“I hope,” the chief offered, finally speaking, “that ye will fergive my son’s absence.”
“There is nothing to forgive, my lord. Adam left me to keep all of you safe. ’Twas a difficult choice for him, but he made the correct one. He should be chief”—she managed to smile at him—“though he may resist.”
“Aye,” Rob MacGregor said, making one word sound more meaningful than a hundred. He glanced toward the hills, his expression going as somber as his wife’s.
“Farewell, daughter.” Davina threw her arms around her and held her close. “I wish ye were not leaving.”
Sina squeezed her eyes shut and whispered back, “As do I.”
When she straightened, she looked into Davina’s eyes and hoped that all Sina felt for her son, for all of them, was clear.
No one had a choice in this. Again. And this time, she feared it might be worse than the first.
There were a few more tearful goodbyes between her and Maggie, Kate, Abby, everyone. They were all there to see her off, even dear Ula.
Everyone but Adam.
She was led to the carriage by Callum MacGregor. She stopped before getting in and looked around the hills and rugged mountaintops, the dark castle rising up against the mountain behind it.
“What you’ve built here,” she told the laird and swiped a tear from her cheek, “is magical.”
He smiled, and Sina saw Adam in his eyes. “Camlochlin is simply stone. ’Tis love that makes it magical.”
She smiled and bit her tongue to keep from crying all over him and stepped up into the carriage. His hand on her arm stopped her.
“I’ll see ye again, lass.”
“What?” she asked, level with his gaze. “How?”
He smiled. “MacGregors fight fer what they love. They dinna give up.”
What was he saying? Were these the ramblings of a grandfather? Did Adam love her?
“Have a safe journey, lass.”
She stepped into the empty carriage and let him shut the door.
The instant it closed, she pulled aside the curtain and leaned out the window. Tears blurred her vision as they rode away.
Adam had done the right thing by staying away. If he defied her father, she didn’t know what the consequences would be. Camlochlin, even hidden in the mountains, couldn’t hold off the Royal Army for long.
They did the right thing. The only thing.
Was she going to think of him all the way to England? She looked toward the mountains and shook her head.
It was over.
She smiled, telling herself she was happy to finally be going back to civilized life. Soon her marriage to Adam would be annulled, and things would go back to how they were. For Adam as well. What would he do with his freedom? Marry someone else? Never marry at all and remain the king fish, sought by tavern wenches and farmers’ daughters? Who among them could take Davina’s place as lady of the castle if Adam became chief? Who could help him become the man he was born to be, a man in full glory? He certainly had the necessary ingredients to be a dream come to life. Who would finally win his guarded heart?
She hated thinking of it. She didn’t want anyone to win his heart. She didn’t want anyone to kiss him…ever again. She wanted to be the one in his bed. She had made up her mind to offer herself to him.
Oh, how could she be so disappointed about going back to the palace when it was all she’d thought about for days?
She looked out the window many times on the way home, wanting to remember the brutal magnificence of the landscape and the terrifying isolation of it.
But somewhere deep within those mist-covered mountains was a village, tiny in the grand scheme of everything around it, where families lived in peace, laughing, loving, and taken care of by their chief.
She would miss the intimacy of Camlochlin, the way the women got along without gossiping about one another, the way they helped and comforted one another, the warm camaraderie between the men…Adam.
Yes, she was going to miss his face, his scent, his voice…There was nothing to be done about it. She wouldn’t bring her father’s army down on the MacGregors. Now she didn’t have to break William’s heart.
That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to. She loved Adam. She should have told him. Now it was too late. She could never be with him—unless she could convince her father to let her go back.
God help her, how long would she be consumed with thoughts of her Highland husband? How would she get through this trip alone, thinking of him?
She wiped her tears. She hadn’t realized she was crying. She closed her eyes and was soon asleep. For the next three days, she slept, wept, and ate. On the fourth day, she finally stopped crying and let a heavy numbness cover her.
When she arrived in London two days later, Camlochlin felt a thousand years away. Unfortunately, Adam felt as close as her breath.