David John is shaking his head and smiling. He’s wearing a heavy work jacket that’s unzipped, showing a blue hooded sweatshirt. His hair is cut short, almost a buzz cut but enough for Jessup to see that there is white in the hair that isn’t because of the snow. His stepdad has one hand shoved into a pocket, the other free so that he can keep his arm wrapped around Jewel’s shoulder. Jewel is leaning into him, a fat grin on her face, Christmas morning having her dad back in the house.
David John leans over now and smacks Jessup’s shoulder pad. “Hell of a hit there, son. You saw that coming, didn’t you?”
“Yes, sir. Been doing a lot of film study.”
David John straightens up and then lets his head fall back and his eyes scrunch tight as he calls out, “Whoo-hee! You lit that boy up.” His voice is loud enough that people standing nearby glance over. “You put a hurting on that boy.”
There’s a group of parents a few feet over, and they do more than glance. They stare. Two of the couples are black, and Jessup sees one of the women whisper something to her husband. The visitors all sit in the stands on the other side of the field, so these are Cortaca parents. He’s not sure he recognizes them, but they sure seem to recognize him and David John. Jessup knows the word “boy” comes out loaded from David John’s mouth, even if he doesn’t think his stepfather means anything by it.
At least, not right in this moment.
It’s hard to tell sometimes. David John doesn’t allow swearing, doesn’t use epithets, isn’t calling Corson “boy” to stir up trouble. Jessup doesn’t understand how his stepfather’s devotion to his family, his gentle politeness, reconcile with his tattoos, with his belief in the Blessed Church of the White America, a place where certain words are used with casual violence. But can anything be reconciled? Where does Jessup stand in any of this? Because he loves his family, no question, but he also loves—yes, he thinks, loves—Deanne, even Coach Diggins, the boys on the team, too, absolutely he’d say he loves all of them, brothers sometimes, like he thinks of Wyatt like a brother, football flattening everything, the color of the jerseys the only thing that matters, and when he put Corson in the dirt right before halftime, in that moment, it was only about football.
Except it can’t be about just football anymore, can it? Not with David John here. Not with what happened in the alley.
He misses the way it was before.
The ability to believe in an uncomplicated manner that his stepfather is a good man.
His sister can still do it: even with all that’s happened, she can’t conceptualize David John as anything other than her father.
If only it were that simple for Jessup. He’s tried to avoid addressing the question—avoiding it altogether, refusing to visit both his stepfather and his brother and refusing to talk about why—but there are some things that you can only put off so long, and David John has brought the question home.
Jewel takes his attention back, says, “We’re going to Kirby’s”—a burger place on Route 13 that David John likes—“after the game. Celebrate having Dad home. Well, and celebrate the game, too. You going to meet us there, or at home?”
Jessup takes a quick look at the scoreboard. Fifty seconds ticking down. He puts his helmet on. “Let’s wait to celebrate the game until it’s over, okay? And I’ll meet you at Kirby’s. I’ve got plans later, though. After that. Can’t stay long. Meeting up with Wyatt and some of the guys. I won’t be home until late.”
His mom and Jewel are happy, juiced up on David John’s presence and on the score of the game, but Jessup can see a quick squint from David John. Disappointment that he’s not going to stay in with the family. But it’s there and gone.
His mom says, “Is there going to be drinking?”
“It’s a party, so probably.” Jessup shrugs. “But not by me, and I’ll drive myself. I’ll be careful.”
David John leans over the railing again and taps him on the top of the helmet. It’s a familiar gesture. The tribe of football. “Go teach those boys what they get when they come into our house,” he says.
Jessup turns and heads to the bench. Kilton Valley kicked off to start the game, so that means they are going to receive, and Jessup needs to start the half on the field.
He looks back over his shoulder and sees his mom and Jewel already climbing up the bleacher steps, but David John is watching him. There’s a part of Jessup that wants to apologize, wants to say that he knows it’s a big deal that David John is home and he’ll cancel his plans. But only a part.
He does have plans, but not with the guys. Oh, after he leaves Kirby’s he’ll stop by the party, and Wyatt will be there. But if it were only that, he’d go home with his family, spend the night soaking in the quiet comfort of his mother’s and sister’s happiness.
No, he’s going out because Deanne’s coming to the party, too. They’ll make the rounds and then leave as soon as they can get away with it, drive out to one of the forest preserves and leave the truck running so there will be more than just the heat of their bodies to keep them warm.