I don’t really remember what it was like before Mom and him got together. I was five when they met, and they married quick. Ricky—my brother—remembers my mom drinking a lot before then, but I don’t honestly know if she was a drunk or what. I mean, she goes to meetings like once a month or something, but it’s never seemed like a problem to me. Maybe it was different back then—you talk to Ricky and he’ll tell you that everything got better when David John came along—but it’s hard for me to tell. The thing is, more than anything, you’ve got to understand, he’s a good man. He works hard, taught us to work hard. He’s always treated me and Ricky right, like we’re his own kids. He dotes on Jewel, like she’s a princess. And he loves my mom. I know that.”
“You love him?” Deanne says.
Jessup stops. He’s not sure he’s really considered it before, but he doesn’t have to pause long. “Yeah. I don’t know why, but I always correct people when they call him my dad. Just did it a minute ago with you. Someone says ‘dad’ and I say ‘stepdad.’ And I shouldn’t. I mean, he’s not my blood, but he’s never acted like my stepdad, never acted like anything other than my dad, so, yeah, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I love him.”
“Do you call him ‘Dad’ at home?”
He reaches up and cups the back of her neck. “It’s going to be easier for me if you just let me tell it, okay?” She takes his wrist and pulls his hand around so she can kiss his palm, and he smiles.
“No. David John. Always. Ricky called him Dad. Don’t know why I’m so stubborn about it. Anyway, I don’t remember anything different than David John and my mom being married. It is what it is. You don’t think anything of it. It just is the way it is, you know? You grow up and whatever it is in your house is what’s normal, and it’s only when you get older you start seeing that other people live other ways. I mean, you’ve always lived in a house, always had two parents around, and that’s what’s normal to you, but you’d probably look at my house and think it’s a dump because it’s a trailer.”
“I—”
“I know, I know.” He cuts her off as gently as he can. “Just . . . just let me, okay? If you want to know, just let me.” She nods. “It’s a nice trailer, double-wide, more than enough space, and we keep it up and we own the land and the trailer, which is more than a lot of people can say, but still, it’s a mobile home. Which is a funny thing to say, because it’s not going anywhere. But a mobile home, no matter how nice it is, isn’t the same thing as what people with money have.”
He thinks of Victoria Wallace’s house perched on the hilltop, the views over Cortaca and the lake, how it lets her and her parents look down upon the town like gods. The only way for him to get that high is to learn how to fly. Thinks, Icarus. Thinks, the sun.
“The point is, it never occurred to me to wonder why we live where we do. And same thing with David John. He came into our lives and that’s the way it was.
“Maybe it was harder for Ricky.” He shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know. No, I don’t think so, because he took to David John right away, but then again, Ricky was nine . . . no, ten when Mom and David John got married. He was older than I was, and maybe it was more of a change with him? Because it was a change when they got married. At least that’s what Ricky always says. We bounced around from apartment to apartment before that, chaotic, and David John’s a discipline kind of guy.”
Deanne pulls back a bit, something flittering across her face, and Jessup laughs. “Not like that,” he says. “I don’t mean Old Testament shit. Never laid a hand on any of us. Seriously. I’m sure he must have yelled at us sometimes, but I can’t think of an example. My mom can scream, but not David John. He’s . . . gentle. ‘Gentle’ would be the right word. But firm, you know? When I say discipline, I just mean he’s a ‘do it right’ kind of guy. Make your bed, clear the dishes, chores get done before you have free time. He believes hard work is the only salvation. Well, hard work and Jesus Christ. Discipline and hard work can be a drag sometimes, but mostly it’s pretty good. I think kids crave discipline, you know? Order’s not a bad thing. And Mom liked it, too. Turned things around for us. Ricky wasn’t a troublemaker, not really, but he started doing better in school, and I guess I’d been acting out a bit before David John came along. And then they had Jewel and it was the five of us. David John worked hard, did okay with money—it’s his trailer and land—and my mom mostly just stayed home and took care of Jewel, took care of me and Ricky.
“He’s just . . . You know you got lucky with your dad, right?” He thinks of Coach Diggins handing him the game ball. “He’s a good dude, and in some ways, I think, maybe he reminds me of David John.”