Just “oh.” He waits a few seconds, but there’s nothing else, so he types:
sorry. I told you. it’s complicated
not really
He takes a deep breath. She came back with that reply awfully quickly, he thinks. He’s trying to decide what to type when she texts again.
I’m sorry. that was kind of bitchy
it’s okay
I saw the video
what video?
from the party
how?
somebody uploaded it. it’s hard to watch
yeah
how come you just stood there?
didn’t want any trouble
is it true?
what? what Corson said? no. I told you. he was drunk
but you’re there now. at the church. church of WHITE America
He almost corrects her, almost types back, Blessed Church of the White America, but he’s smart enough to stop himself.
with my family. my stepdad wanted us to go as a family. it isn’t me
if it isn’t you, why are you there? can’t you just say you aren’t going? you told me you don’t go, haven’t gone in years
but THEY still do. wanted me to come. important to them. made me come. I’m sorry. didn’t really know how to say no
He waits, but she doesn’t text anything. He thinks about the way she feels against him, the cinnamon gum in her mouth, the way the windows fogged up in her car last night, how good it felt to tell her he loves her, to have her say it back. He waits a few more seconds, but she still doesn’t text, so he types:
I love you
. . .
I love you too
but you won’t
He types it and sends it all in one fell swoop, tries to take it back as soon as it’s gone, but it’s too late.
????