Chapter Eight
“Thank you, God.”
It had to be God who had sent him to his son’s apartment. He had driven up into the city to see Brian and had spotted Karlie rushing into Brian’s place. His chest concaved, and Ryan had to take several deep breaths. He swerved down several streets hunting for a parking spot. It was divine intervention when he managed to snag one as a Nissan Altima vacated it.
Heedless of the rain, Ryan sprinted. His heart pumped against his chest as he willed his feet to move faster. Rain pelted his Armani suit, but he didn’t care. He had to get to them. He had to stop Brian and Karlie.
What’s Karlie doing there, anyway?
His pants legs were soaked. His seven-hundred-dollar Church & Co. walnut-colored Chetwynd wingtip shoes were ruined, but Ryan didn’t care. He had to put a stop to what may be transpiring behind that door. It was untenable—unthinkable.
Ryan strove to catch his breath and pounded on his son’s door.
Brian opened the door. Ryan saw the surprise reflected on Brian’s face before a grimace formed. Brian wasn’t happy to see him. Well, that was too bad. He was coming in anyway. Ryan pushed his way in and closed the door. He greeted Karlie before facing his son.
Arching his brow, Ryan asked, “Shouldn’t you put some clothes on?”
Brian swiveled around to get dressed.
Cupping his mouth, Ryan yelled, “And bring me a towel on your way back.”
“I’ll get it,” Karlie said. She went to retrieve one for him and one for herself.
As Ryan’s eyes followed Karlie, he couldn’t help but notice how she seemed to know her way around Ryan’s apartment.
Taking the towel she offered, Ryan shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it to the ground. He dried himself off as best as he could. A puddle formed on the tile floor, but he ignored it.
Ryan’s only focus was on the woman standing before him. Entranced, he only had eyes for Karlie as she busied herself wiping her face and using the towel to dry her hair. Ryan was unaware of his frozen stance.
Karlie gave him an awkward smile and crossed her arms against her chest.
With a start, Ryan realized he was staring, which made her uncomfortable, but he couldn’t help it. Just the sight of Karlie transfixed him. He did not afford himself this luxury too often because he was too afraid of what his face might tell—too afraid of the truth he had done so much to keep well hidden.
He saw Karlie bite her lip and look heavenward. He knew she was searching for something to say to fill the void. Ryan held his empty hand out toward her. He willed her to come to him. He would have laughed at her pretense of not seeing his proffered hand if his heart hadn’t been crushed at her rejection.
Eyes identical to his own tore into his soul before she admitted, “Mr. Oakes, you’re making me uncomfortable.”
“Uh,” Ryan mumbled. “I—”
What could he say? Karlie had good reason to think he was a sick, perverted old man. But he loved her. She was a part of him. He could deny it no more. At least not to himself.
“Dad, you’re looking at Karlie like you’ve seen a ghost,” Brian observed with a chuckle.
Ryan jumped. He hadn’t noticed when Brian had reentered the room. Thankfully, Brian had dressed in a light sweater and jeans.
Ryan felt bemused at his son’s wisdom. He was looking at a ghost—a reflection of himself—
His child.
His daughter.
Ryan adopted a blasé attitude, feigning ignorance. “Was I staring? I didn’t realize. My mind was miles away.” With a practiced smile, he addressed Karlie. “I didn’t expect to see you here, Karlie. I was caught a little off guard. By the way, where’s Jamaal?”
On the inside, though, Ryan trembled. Here he was talking to Karlie as if everything was normal—when it was far from it. He had denied her existence. For five years, he had pretended as if Karlie was only a mere acquaintance. Was God paying him back for what he’d done?
No, God didn’t do paybacks, but He did allow consequences—being saved didn’t spare you from that.
Karlie looked down at her feet. “We sort of got into an argument.”
Ryan’s ears perked up. Trouble in paradise. Hmm . . . “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your and Brian’s upcoming escapade, would it?”
She squirmed. “Well, yes, among other things.”
“Say what?” Brian exclaimed. He shook his head. “But we invited Jamaal to come along. Did you tell him we’re not doing this until summer? It’s only if you’re a hit that we would take off the fall semester. Plus, we can always change our mind. It’s simple paperwork to reenroll. I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“That’s a long time for a couple to be apart,” Ryan said. He savored the indecision crossing Karlie’s face.
Karlie twisted her hands together. “I’ve been with Jamaal forever. I don’t want to lose him over something like this.”
“Karlie, if Jamaal really loves you, he’d support you,” Brian said. “You want to sing—make a name for yourself . . .” Brian’s voice trailed off. He searched to find the words.
“All that’s good, Brian, but YouTube isn’t the way to do it,” Ryan said. “Karlie, you need to be in a studio rehearsing, honing your skills, not traipsing all over the world. It’s ludicrous, really.”
Karlie placed her forefinger across the bridge of her nose and slid it down to the tip before landing on her upper lip.
If that don’t beat all, Ryan told himself. He did the same thing when he was thinking. Genetics was amazing.
Ryan’s conscience gripped him. His legs weakened, and his insides whipped him like brutal waves attacking the sea. He closed his eyes from the truth and covered his forehead with his hands.
“Do you need some aspirin, Dad?” Brian asked.
No, he needed to tell the truth and set himself free from this agony. Ryan shook his head. Sometimes he wished Brian was not so observant. With a calm he did not feel, Ryan said, “I’m fine, son. I hope you change your mind. Both of you need to come to your senses.”
Brian took Karlie’s hand and pulled her next to him for support. “Dad, we’re going. At the end of spring semester, once we’ve handed in the last paper, we’ll be leaving for California. First stop—zip-lining.”
“Zip-lining!” Karlie’s eyes were wide. “But I’m afraid of heights.”
Brian nodded. “And I have the perfect remedy—Zip-lining.”
“Zip-lining!” Ryan raged to Patricia that night. “He wants to go zip-lining! He must have a death wish or something, and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. He and Karlie . . .”
Patricia placed both hands on her hips. “Oh, now it’s making sense. This is about Karlie.”
Ryan reared back. “What?” Had she figured it out? He studied Patricia’s face but saw no signs of distress.
“Yes, you’re attracted to her,” Patricia said.
Oh no, she was way off base. “Whoa! I’m not attracted to Karlie,” Ryan said. “What do I look like, a pedophile? Where would you get such a ridiculous idea? She’s young enough to be my . . .” He stopped, unable to say the word.
“Yeah, you think?” Patricia flailed her hands. “I had a hard time convincing Brian otherwise.”
Ryan couldn’t hold back his surprise. “Brian? When did you have time to talk to him? I just left there.”
“He called as soon as you left. After you made sure to drive Karlie home.”
Ryan pursed his lips at her tone. Now was the time to confess and tell Patricia the truth. He looked into her eyes and saw her pain. “Wait. If you’re expecting a confession, you can forget it. Nothing happened with Karlie and me. I’m not interested in her. You’re the only woman for me.”
He approached Patricia and massaged her shoulders. Leaning over, he kissed her neck. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” he whispered. “I can barely keep my hands off you. Honey, you must know that.” Ryan’s lips met hers in a gentle kiss.
“Then why haven’t you touched me these past weeks?” Her lips quivered. “I feel like there’s a big gulf between us, and I don’t know why this is happening.”
Yet another opportunity to spill the beans.
He let it pass.
Instead, Ryan chose the lake of denial. “There is no gulf. We’re fine.”