Chapter Forty-two
Ryan watched Patricia run away from him. He straggled backward until his body hit the wall and he slid to the floor. Patricia’s carelessly tossed words had rocked his world.
I’m the only one able . . .
She had made him believe for almost twenty-three years that Brian was his son. Ryan covered his face. He wanted to confront her, but Brian’s life was at stake.
“Please, Lord, save my son.”
He felt something nudge his foot. Karlie stood in front of him with her hand out. Ryan tilted his chin to look up at his daughter. He placed his hand in hers, and she helped him to his feet. He allowed Karlie to lead him into the waiting area.
They headed for two chairs in the furthest corner in the room and huddled together. Ryan felt her body tremble.
“Brian isn’t your son?” Karlie whispered.
Hearing the words aloud sucker punched him. Ryan cringed. “I . . . I don’t even know what to think. It’s like the person I thought I knew, I didn’t really know.” He turned to Karlie. “Do you understand what I mean?”
“All too well,” she replied, giving him a pointed stare.
Oh, how could he be so thoughtless? Of course Karlie got it. He had done the same thing to her. “I did you wrong, Karlie. I guess God is paying me back for what I did to you.”
She shook her head. “You did do me wrong, but God doesn’t do payback. Don’t even think that way. Rebuke that thought.”
Jackson Higgins sprang into Ryan’s mind. He may not do payback, but God did enact vengeance—an eye for an eye. Or in this case, a life for a life. Brian was paying the price for Ryan’s wickedness.
“I forgive you.”
Ryan heard Karlie’s soft-spoken words and swung his head around. “What? What did you just say?”
“I said I forgive you,” she repeated.
Ryan’s shoulders heaved. “No, don’t forgive me. I’ve done too much wrong. I don’t want forgiveness.” He wanted to be flayed and whipped, even tortured. That was what his punishment should be.
Not the love shining through Karlie’s eyes.
“You have my forgiveness, whether you want it or not,” Karlie said, patting him on the back. “It took me time, but I had to. I’m God’s daughter first, and I’m subjected to His leading.”
Tears poured down Ryan’s face. What kind of love was this? He looked at the beautiful woman before him and touched her face. “You’re perfect. In spite of my flaws and all the wrong I did, you’re perfect.”
“I’m not perfect, but I’m perfected by God’s love,” she said. “The Karlie you see is not because of anything I did.” Her eyes were now overflowing as well. “It’s the God in me. I love others as He loves me. I couldn’t be any other way even if I tried.” She rose to gather tissues for them.
Ryan still could not believe what he was hearing. “I wish I could be like you, Karlie.”
She smiled. “You can be. Anyone who asks God to take over will be filled with His love.”
Ryan heard and recognized God speaking through her, yet his heart closed as he closed his eyes. Everything he possessed flashed before his mind. If he told the truth, he would lose it all. His heart hurt at the thought. Ryan knew he wanted God, but he could not let go.
Yes, you can.
Ryan debated, but he did not see how recovery was humanly possible. God continued to pull on his heart, but then Patricia dashed into the room. Her eyes were red, and her face swollen.
“Brian’s alive,” Patricia said. “He has a ruptured spleen, some shattered ribs and a collapsed lung, but he is alive. Thank God. He’s also awake.” She turned to Karlie. “Brian has called your name more than once.”
A smile broke from within and beamed across her face. “May I go see him?” she asked.
“For a few minutes,” Patricia said. “He’s still very weak, and he might be asleep by the time you get there. He’s on the second floor in ICU.”
Ryan watched Karlie gather her belongings and rush out of the room to see Brian. He and Patricia were now alone. Ryan stood. He moved closer to the woman he had loved more than life itself for over twenty years.
His heart chilled. “Who are you? How could you not tell me?”
Patricia’s breath caught. “I’m me. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know. At first.”
“How long have you known?”
“It wasn’t until Brian was four years old when he had the meningitis scare that I learned the truth.”
Four years old! Fury rose within him. Ryan wrapped his hand around her arm. “You should have told me!”
Patricia’s eyes were wide with fear. “Please, Ryan. Don’t do this. We love each other. We can work it out. I’m sorry for not having the guts to tell you the truth.”
Ryan heard a voice behind him. “Let her go.”
Ryan released Patricia’s arm to confront the stranger. “Mind your own business. This doesn’t concern you.”
“Yes, it does,” the man said, coming farther into the room. Ryan read the name tag: “Dr. Timothy Newhouse.”
“Dr. Newhouse, I suggest you leave me to speak to my wife,” Ryan said. “This is a personal matter.”
“Tim, please, leave,” Patricia said. “I’m all right.”
Ryan glanced between the two of them. In a flash of insight, he discerned they were more than mere coworkers. After a meaningful glance her way, Tim left the room.
Ryan met Patricia’s eyes. “You . . . and him?” He almost lost his balance as pain whipped his spine. “I don’t believe you did this to me!”
Patricia bit her lip. “It was a mistake. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but you weren’t paying me any attention and I was stressed . . .”
He flailed his hands. “Spare me your sorry excuses.” He rested both hands on his hips. “How many men have there been?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. This was before you. I was an addict, but when I met you, I thought I was cured . . .”
Ryan waved off her ramblings. “I don’t want to hear it!”
Patricia grabbed his arm. Her lips quivered. “I’m so sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Ryan forgot how, moments ago, Karlie had forgiven him. “What you did was beyond forgivable.” He shook off her hand. “Get a good attorney because you’re going to need it.”
“No, let’s talk about this later at home.” She twisted her hands, “Right now, our son needs us.”
“I’ll be there for Brian, but as of tonight, you’re on your own. As far as I’m concerned I no longer have a home. I’m moving out.”
He stormed out of the room as Patricia crumbled to the floor.
Two hands gripped her by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet. Patricia raised her tear-streaked face to Tim’s.
“I’ve lost him,” Patricia wailed. “Ryan told me he’s moving out and filing divorce papers. Divorce. What is that?”
“Shh,” Tim whispered. “It’s going to be okay.”
Patricia leaned into his broad chest. “This is your fault!” she cried. “You tempted me, and now my marriage is over!”
Tim stepped back. “Whoa. You’re not putting this on me. Yes, I told you my feelings, but you didn’t have to come to my door. You had a choice.”
Patricia dipped her head. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Tim. I shouldn’t have tried to put this on you. This is all me. My problem. Not yours.”
“I’d like to think of it as our problem,” he said.
Patricia smiled. “I don’t think you’re ready for my drama. I’ve got to sort things out with God.” She covered her face. “Brian’s going to hate me.”
“One day at a time,” Tim said. “Brian’s your child. He’ll be angry, but he’s not going to hate you.”
Oh yes, he would. Tim only knew half of the facts. He didn’t know the whole truth. He didn’t know Brian wasn’t Ryan’s son. She doubted Tim would look at her with eyes filled with love if he knew that.
Both of their pagers beeped at the same time.
“It’s the twins!” Tim shouted. “They’ve taken a turn for the worse.”
Karlie’s eyes popped open wide. The nurse on duty had warned her to be prepared, but she could not withhold her shocked breath. There were so many wires hanging from IV poles and contraptions beeping that it overwhelmed her.
“Karlie,” Brian croaked.
Hearing her name gave her the courage to step forward. “I’m here.”
He struggled to lift his hand.
Karlie rushed to his side. “No. Don’t do that. You’ve broken several bones.”
Brian opened his mouth and struggled to speak. Karlie bent her body so he could whisper. “Where’s the camera?”
Forgetting about the hours she had spent worrying, Karlie’s relief translated into laughter. She laughed until tears rolled down her face. Here he was hooked up to all sorts of equipment, and Brian was worried about her.
“It’s smashed to dust,” Karlie said. “The truck ran over it.”
Brian nodded before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep, his breathing steady.
She rested a tentative hand on his bandaged chest. Like a crescendo, all the emotions she had held at bay burst out of her being. Karlie closed her eyes and uttered a heartfelt praise: “Thank you, Lord, for sparing Brian’s life and for bringing him through.”
When she opened her tear-filled eyes, she saw Nikki and Charlie hovering by the doorway. Anger as she had never felt before flowed through her. Her eyes took in Nikki’s artfully made-up face, her long nails, big earrings, and her twelve-inch extensions. Karlie stormed to the entrance and pushed Nikki hard enough for her to fall to the floor in the hallway.
“You’re not welcome here!” Karlie roared.
Nikki bounced to her feet and put up her hands. “You can’t tell me what to do.”
Karlie pointed her finger in Nikki’s face. “Bring it.”
Charlie stepped between them, her eyes wide with fright. “Stop it now, both of you. I don’t think Brian would want this, and I’m not trying to get kicked out of the hospital because of you.”
Nikki’s chest heaved. “He would want to see me.”
“So would Jamaal.” Karlie blocked the door. “But I’m almost positive Brian would want to see me more.” She slid a scathing glance from Nikki’s feet to her face. “Get out of here.”
“You’re not his woman,” Nikki said.
Karlie swung her neck from left to right. “I’m more of his woman than you’ll ever be. Now unless you’re ready to donate your weave to charity, get out.”
With a sneer, Nikki tossed her hair into Karlie’s face.
Karlie sputtered for a moment as Nikki turned, then grabbed Nikki’s hair and twisted it around her hands. Nikki squealed loud enough to attract the attention of one of the male nurses, who came running.
Charlie yelled, “Stop it!”
“Let her go,” the nurse demanded.
Karlie drew deep breaths to calm her temper, but she did not release the death grip she had on Nikki’s hair. Nikki’s face reddened with pain. Karlie spotted Ryan coming down the hallway.
When Ryan saw the altercation in progress, he broke into a run. “Karlie, release that girl this instant!”
Though she took umbrage at Ryan’s “daddy” tone, she let go of Nikki’s hair. Karlie blinked. She could not believe what she had just done.
“And you say you’re a Christian,” Nikki taunted. “Plllease.”
Karlie smiled when she saw Nikki massaging her temples as she left with Charlie on her heels. She heard Nikki’s sobs all the way to the elevator.
Good riddance.
“Consider this your one and only warning,” the nurse said. “Next time I’ll call security.” With that, the nurse walked away.
“Karlie, violence is not the answer,” Ryan said. “Use your words, not your hands.”
For some reason, Ryan had a coughing fit after uttering those words.
Following her outburst, Karlie became a model citizen at the hospital. It took Brian three days before he could stay awake long enough to have a sensible conversation, and Karlie never left his side.
She knew she was where she was meant to be. She was not going anywhere.