There are people who claim that they never listen to the lyrics of a song. They might struggle with this quiz, though it’s more straightforward than it might first appear. In these 40 questions, we’ve taken 40 songs and assumed that their titles are to be taken literally. Based on that assumption, we’ve created a vaguely cryptic clue hinting at the song title, and included the singer’s real first name in it. (Asterisks denote singers who uses different stage names.) You simply have to name the song and the artist. Not there yet? Here’s an example: the answer to ‘Phil is disappointed that you find him undesirable’ would be ‘Don’t You Want Me’ by the Human League. It’ll get easier, we promise . . .
Answers: here
1 In which Sandra sees herself as a marionette.
2 In which Florence appears to be advocating Glaswegian osculation.
3 In which Damon and his friends give elliptical advice about artillery fire.
4 In which Robert is underground, missing Duluth and a bit low.
5 In which Chris sings about aeronautical life-saving equipment.
6 In which Michael brackets his indifference to Armageddon.
7 In which Elliot* notes a marked shift in his partner’s lovemaking technique.
8 In which Allan comments on the lightweight nature of his sibling.
9 In which Steven sings about reverse schadenfreude.
10 In which Noel, paraphrasing Oscar, writes about crucial laziness.
11 In which Joseph tells 11 stories about Torbay.
12 In which Paul* admits he’s continuing to search.
13 In which Steve requests a pick-me-up visit.
14 In which Sia tells David’s story of a disintegrating lupus.
15 In which Peter asks about the destination of his mysterious love.
16 In which David, abandoned by Roger but helped by Dick and Nick, temporarily loses his mind in ten chapters.
17 In which Steven* and John call for cooperative kleptomania.
18 In which Raymond, Gerard and Norman tell us about motor racing.
19 In which Paul relates a story written by another man about headgear as a yardstick for domesticity.
20 In which Wayne is positive in triplicate.
21 In which Robyn* holds a gun to her head.
22 In which Paul, and later Joe, comments on the benefits of cooperation.
23 In which David is a big spanner.
24 In which Alexandria’s* desires appear to be confused about the specifics of musical genre.
25 In which Thomas sings about a suspicious robot.
26 In which Andy postulates that human evolution commenced with a dance.
27 In which Desmond assures us it’s all about perseverance.
28 In which Michael comments on a young lady’s general good health and self-awareness.
29 In which Mary* insists that protestations of sincerity are not compulsory.
30 In which John and his friends are suspiciously insistent about a lack of romance in their work.
31 In which Brian bemoans the emptiness of solitude.
32 In which James (with Justin* helping) tells of his desire for some arboreal pyromania.
33 In which Joseph expresses incredulity at someone’s choice of partner.
34 In which Jimmy* expresses a wish to indulge his canine fetish.
35 In which Patrick*, with help from Eric, puts his faith in astrology.
36 In which Ann and Aretha comment on the self-sufficiency of the sorority.
37 In which Mick and friends are concerned about matriarchal lurking.
38 In which Nancy makes some rather obvious statements about footwear.
39 In which James sings Nicky’s warning that complicity will have consequences for future generations.
40 In which William, in twelve chapters, tells of conversation with a civil servant.