While I was taking my bath, Albert had explained the situation to Nina and Anya before sending them home with the boys. I was sure they were all panicking, but Albert told me not to worry about it. He said I had enough on my plate. Besides, he assured me that he would take care of everyone. And he would because that’s what Albert did. He managed things in times of stress. At the moment, I didn’t have the energy to worry about anything else. Stabbing a dagger through James’s heart had been bad enough. I just couldn’t deal with more. Nina and Anya would take care of Roy and Arthur. They’d survive this.
I emerged from the bathroom to find Albert sitting on our bed in a pair of blue sweatpants. I felt silly in my frilly nightgown. The purple silk felt absolutely ridiculous. I’d just killed a man. My hair was still a wet, tangled mess, and I had just finished clearing the smudged eyeshadow from my face. I smelled like roses, but only because I’d had to dump the body wash all over me to scrub away the blood.
He must have showered in the other bathroom because he was no longer covered in blood and dirt. His hair was back to being an assortment of jumbled curls that looked lazy as they fell against his forehead. His eyes, though tainted by the horror of what we had experienced, were still a deep, mysterious ocean. At that moment, I wanted to become a part of him. I no longer cared what was healthy or if this was insane. Albert was all I could see.
He looked up at me with a gaze that seemed to penetrate my body. Everything about him seemed more intense than usual. His lips were pursed in a tight line that held anxiety. Albert looked as if he might fall apart. I was glimpsing the very carefully crafted shell that surrounded his heart.
I sat down on the bed beside him. Suddenly, I was aware of so much. His shoulders were far more shaped than I had once thought. The jaw that held up his smirk was firm and strong above his neck. His chest, while pale and stone-like, was more toned than most. Though he wasn’t smiling, his arms seemed to invite me in. I leaned over to place my head against his shoulder.
Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me. I felt his strong hands press against my waist as he pulled me closer. Unexpectedly, tears began to drip down my cheeks. I’d thought I blocked the emotion out. I wanted to be able to deal with this in the morning. It would take me so long to process everything that had happened in just a few short days. But as I felt the protective press of his chest against mine, I knew it was okay. I was sure I didn’t have to be strong because he was strong for me.
In most cases, I liked to feel in control. It was easier to pretend I was the one in power. But with Albert, I was okay with just existing. The fact that I was alive, at least kind of, was enough. He didn’t ask me to be perfect or even extraordinary. All he wanted was for me to be able to relax in his arms. Albert thrived on taking care of me. I wished I’d realized it earlier.
“It’s not your fault,” he said in a gentle tone.
“I feel like it is,” I mumbled into his chest.
He sighed. “I know.”
The tears kept dripping from my eyes. “I saw his eyes before I stabbed him. I won’t ever be able to forget the way he looked at me.”
“You did the right thing,” Albert whispered.
“Did I?” I asked.
His fingers bored into my hips. “He was killing people, Anne.”
I bit my lip. “I’ve killed people, too.”
Albert shook his head. “He was too dangerous.”
“I’m a monster,” I cried.
He placed a gentle kiss on my hair. “You are not a monster.”
“How am I any better than him?” I asked in a hushed tone.
Albert took a deep breath. “You try so hard. Anne, you love people. Without a moment’s hesitation, you took Penny as your own. James had something wrong with him. His lack of empathy was like a disease. He didn’t feel anything. James took human life carelessly. Anne, you feel so much that I sometimes worry the heaviness might tear you apart. You don’t want to hurt anyone. James wasn’t like that. Maybe he was as a human, but not as a vampire.”
“I’m scared,” I whispered. “What if I can never forget it?”
He squeezed me. “You won’t be able to forget it, love. Your heart is too big for that. In time, you’ll come to live with it. Tonight, another woman gets to live because James won’t be there to destroy her. Another teenage boy gets to go home because Darcey won’t be able to kill him. That’s the legacy today’s actions have left.”
We laid there in silence for several more minutes. I just wanted to mesh into him. There was so much I had to make sense of. For once, there seemed nothing I could do. I couldn’t go apologize to James’s body. It didn’t exist. In fact, there was nothing left of him. No grave, no coffin, no headstone. All I could do was remember his emerald eyes. But when I imagined them, I saw the way he’d looked at me before I killed him. Nothing was peaceful.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Albert smiled softly. “I love you, too.”
I leaned up against him to press a kiss to his lips. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how perfect he was for me. Albert was the steadiness I needed. Regardless of how reckless he appeared, he was grounded. Albert leaned back and pulled me down against him. He placed gentle kisses along my jaw. I breathed him in, smelling nothing but soap and salt.
My fingers traced his curls while his hands stroked my back. I wanted his love. Because after all of it, I’d found the one for me. This crazy love triangle was over. Albert was all-consuming. He didn’t give me a moment to be distracted from his love.
I wanted this to be forever. With Albert, I could live semi-peacefully as an immortal. There was nothing stronger than my desire to be tied to him. I wanted to become so closely linked that we could never be separated. Albert was my choice. I would choose him over and over again until one day when we became so attached there was nothing to think about. He was going to be the love of my life. That was the role I was placing him in. This man that had once made me feel insecure and doubtful was now the only one I wanted. Albert held every part of me that I could possibly give away. And it was okay because I knew he would take care of me.
So in that moment, I let it all fall away. I didn’t want to fight anymore. This natural love was too strong to deny. We were exactly right for each other. It was a true, deep desire for happiness that brought us together in this swirl of need. My desire to have more of him would never end, and that was exactly how I wanted it.