Chapter Sixteen — Sweet Farewell

Penny rested gently in my arms as I rocked her in the low morning light. Her soft blonde hair was glowing in the sunlight. When she was sleeping, she looked like a doll. Her tiny fingers and toes fascinated me. How could anything be so small? What made her so angelic? I was still processing the knowledge that I’d become a mother. The concept was strange. I wished I’d had nine months to prepare.

James was dead. I didn’t like thinking about it. The words couldn’t seem to escape my mouth. No matter how hard I tried, it was almost impossible to acknowledge it. I felt like he might walk into the room at any moment. It had started to feel like a dream. The whole event was like a nightmare I couldn’t get over. His face seemed to be in the corner of my vision, no matter where I looked. Would I ever get past it? Was it possible to forget killing a man you’d loved? There weren’t many people I could ask about it. After all, it wasn’t a particularly common experience.

Albert seemed to be giving me my space. He was working a lot but always accessible. He wasn’t going out as much as normal. Actually, he hadn’t spent even one evening away. Every night he was with me. I needed him, too. The girls were preoccupied with Roy and Arthur. They hadn’t handled the loss of their sister well. Of course, how could they? There was no easy way to deal with trauma so terrible. Albert and I were focusing almost all our energy on Penny. She occupied our time. Taking care of her was the distraction I needed.

Still, Albert and I had the chance to enjoy a few stolen moments. They were the moments when all I could see were his eyes. When he kissed me, I wanted to disappear into his arms. Sometimes I just wanted to melt into him. The concept gave me a warm feeling in my abdomen. It was a familiar tingling at this point. I had stopped being surprised by the reaction that Albert’s name elicited within me. He was just that right for me. I had more chemistry with him than I’d thought was possible. For so long, I hadn’t known that two people could be so thoroughly linked together. He was my new definition of romance.

“I’m home,” he whispered from the door.

I smiled slightly without turning around. Within a moment, his arms were around my waist. I leaned my head back against his shoulder as his lips planted soft kisses along my neck. A small sigh escaped my lips as he nuzzled his head against mine.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” I murmured back.

When I opened my eyes, I froze. James was standing right in front of me. I clutched Penny to my chest. My breathing had stopped altogether. James’s green eyes were right before me. He said nothing yet stared at me with an intensity stronger than I imagined possible. He was the human James. This version of him had soft, silky skin. His hair was combed back in the organized fashion he’d always preferred. And his smile, it was gorgeous.

My body had tensed so much that Albert had noticed. “What’s wrong?” Albert asked.

James smiled softly before lifting a finger to his lips. He shook his head and blew me a small kiss. My throat had grown tight. My whole body was on edge. It seemed that the world had become still. Penny was still motionless in my arms. Albert was waiting for my response.

James didn’t want me to tell him, though. I could honor that, at least. I’d failed to keep him alive, but at least I could give him this one small thing. In that moment, he was my James. This was the human boy I’d been in love with, not the blood-drunk vampire running around on a killing spree. His smile widened again as he realized I was going to grant his request.

“Anne?” Albert asked.

I didn’t know what was going on. Was I hallucinating? Was I dreaming? Were ghosts real? Nothing was out of the realm of possibility. After all, I was a vampire. Whatever it was—whatever James was—I was glad he was here. Just his small smile was enough to ease the heaviness within me. His spirit was comforting me. He was relieving me and assuring us both that it was all right. It gave me a small smile. We weren’t in love, but we shared memories. It was a bond that ensured our permanent connection.

“It’s nothing,” I replied with a gentle smile. “Everything’s fine.”