Commit yourself to being an all-body-loving, all-gender-honoring aura reader who recognizes and inspires the genius of anyone you are giving a reading to. Practice active listening with yourself and anyone you are working with. Make a conscious effort to hear and understand what others are sharing. If it falls outside your own experience or understanding, listen carefully so you give space to people who have different identities or life experiences than you. If it feels appropriate, ask respectful questions that honor and support people’s identities and experiences. Honor people’s pronouns and gender identities whatever they may be; allow people to self-identify.
We all have complex lives, flaws, and things we are working through. Make sure you use language that supports people in their process. Be aware of using language that would make someone feel broken or damaged. Each person is fully capable of healing themselves. An energy healer or aura reader is there to witness, assist, and amplify a person’s innate healing genius and special abilities. Healing and communication practices support each other to an incredible degree. If you would like to learn more about communication strategies, please see the “Communication” section in the bibliography at the back of this book.
It is important to set a clear and simple intention before you open yourself to witnessing the magic of the aura. When I am scanning my own energies, I often set a simple intention to witness whatever is most beneficial for me to know in that moment. “May I perceive my own energy fields in the interest of gaining clarity, wisdom, and support for my mind, body, and spirit.”
If I am practicing energy readings with friends, I frequently set a simple intention to admire their unique energy signature. I ask them with sincerity, “May I admire you today?” I wait for a clear verbal “yes” before I proceed. I make certain that I adhere to this intention by pointing out what is wonderful and singular in the person I am reading for, and by retaining an attitude of reverence as I name what I see.
I make sure to listen carefully to what information my client would like to receive before proceeding with a reading. It is important to pay attention to the body language, word choices, and concerns of a client before setting an intention. I will often have a client frame and reframe an intention with me until it is just right. A short while ago, a client came to see me about her sense of loneliness. She began speaking rapidly and nervously about how she was too busy for a relationship, and she continually covered her chest and heart with her hands as she described her hectic work schedule. She described her intention as wanting to know “if she would ever meet someone.”
I asked her to pay attention to her hands, which in that moment were covering her heart. Was she afraid to open up to someone new? She agreed that this was true; she had been hurt very badly in the past. I asked a few more qualifying questions, and together we crafted an intention that was specific to her situation. “We ask to witness patterns and habits of fear, holding, or blocking that are preventing _______ from attracting a partner. We ask to be shown what qualities in a partner would be most beneficial, and pathways for attracting such a person. We ask for your assistance in opening and energizing these pathways.” Be specific, supportive, and generous when crafting an intention. Each one of us has burdens to bear and wisdom to share.
Always receive clear consent before you give a reading of another person’s energy. It can be very useful to perceive the energy fields around yourself and other people, as this can give you clear insight into the energies that you are working with in any given situation. For example, you may look at the aura of a person at a new workplace to see how their energy operates; this can give you valuable insight into how to work harmoniously together. However, sharing the information about what you see in a person’s aura (either casually or in the form of a reading) requires trust and consent to be of benefit. It is imperative to establish a mutually understood objective for reading someone’s aura.
At a crowded party in Los Angeles a medium walked up to me and said, “You will move to New York for an opportunity and leave your partner behind. Your partner is too immature for you anyway. You’ll find someone with more money in New York.” Her words immediately disturbed me, and I left the party early. The medium’s unsolicited reading haunted me for weeks. Shortly afterward, I got an opportunity to act as a visiting professor in New York, and my partner stayed behind in Los Angeles. I was terrified that we would split up because of what the medium had said. A few years later, we are happily married and I continue to lecture in cities around the world, which takes me away from my partner for short periods of time.
The medium did not ask for my consent, and because we did not set an intention together she did not interpret correctly what she was seeing in my energy. I did find an opportunity in New York, and certainly encountered people with a lot of money there—but the end result was not in alignment with her predictions. She caused a huge amount of anxiety for me at a time when I should have been celebrating and welcoming new developments in my career. The gravity of what you say to people can be enormous. Be intentional and mindful when you are giving readings, and make sure that you celebrate the divine intelligence of your client even as they are asking you for guidance. Assume that they know what’s best for themselves and operate from a place of trust and grace.