CHAPTER ELEVEN

 

 

Dead people congregated on the sidewalk, crowded the stairs, and clogged the entryway to my apartment. Others milled about on the grass. A few of my neighbors peeked out their windows, but nobody approached the walking cadavers. The landlord stood, cell phone in hand, as I pulled up in Kelly’s SUV and parked. Von and Miranda slid out of the vehicle after me, and I nodded to the landlord, a slender old man clad in a bowtie and suspenders. He wore thick glasses, and every time I saw him, he reminded me of Les Nessman from the TV show WKRP in Cincinnati.

“Mr. Shade, do you have a permit for this?” he asked, shaking the movie audition page I’d had Kelly place on the building. “These people will not listen to me.”

“They’re staying in character, Mr. Tyler. My friend is going to film a movie in town, but I had no idea we’d get this kind of turnout for auditions. I guess everyone wants to be a zombie these days.”

“They don’t shuffle along like in the movies. Some of them have no sense of makeup, and quite frankly, many of them are severely lacking in personal hygiene. You need to get them out of here, or I’m calling the police.”

“I’ll have them gone within the hour. Cool?”

“So . . .” He adjusted his bowtie. “A movie. Would there be a role for someone like me?”

I nodded. “I can talk to the director and the writer, maybe work in something for you.”

“Can I kiss a girl?”

That would be a first. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’m really not happy about these people being here, Mr. Shade. It’s a major inconvenience for all the neighbors. They’ve been complaining all morning. And some of these people are far too method.”

“Tell you what,” I said. “If the movie goes forward, I’ll make sure that you get a small role. I’ll even guarantee that you’ll get to kiss a gorgeous girl. A nice, deep, long, passionate kiss.”

He looked around, his face a burning red. He waved a hand in front of his face then leaned toward me. “Really?”

“Really.”

He hesitated, clearly dreaming about having a hot woman kissing him. After a moment, he gave me a nod. “You have one hour. The neighbors can whine if they want.”

“Thanks, Mr. Tyler.”

“I want a redhead.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“A blonde will work, but I’ve always wanted to be with a redhead.”

When he left, he stopped to knock on one of my neighbors’ doors. No doubt he would tell them he’d told me to get these unseemly people out of here.

I turned to look at the women. Miranda remained by Kelly’s truck.

Von approached the closest dead person, a middle-aged woman. I motioned for Miranda to stay by the truck then followed Von over. The dead woman turned and gave me a once-over.

“Bring her to us,” the old woman said.

I played stupid. “What do you want with Miranda?”

The woman moved toward me, but Von held up a hand, and the woman stopped.

“You shall not pass,” Von said in her best Gandalf.

“Can you get rid of them?” I asked.

Von walked around the woman. A few corpses started toward her, but again, she held up her hand, and they all stopped.

“The flesh is freshly dead, but the original spirit is not here,” Von said. “They are not zombies.”

“Bring her to us,” the woman said again.

Von looked into the corpse’s eyes. “Bring who?”

“The one we came for.”

“And who might that be?”

The woman pointed at me. “He knows.”

Von looked at me. “Are you holding out on me, Mr. Shade?”

“I could make a few guesses, but . . .” I gave her a shrug.

She gave me a look that said, bullshit, then looked back at the corpse. She moved to the next dead guy then walked along a line of them, holding her hand up to keep them in place. Some of them fidgeted but none advanced.

Von returned to me.

“Thoughts?” I said.

“There are many spirits here using the dead as vessels to get around. This is powerful magic.”

“Can you get rid of them?”

“The spirits?” She shook her head. “I do not control spirits. I can clear out the bodies, though.”

“Great.”

“There are one hundred twenty-two bodies here.”

“But more will come.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because the spirits won’t go away. They’ll just go get new bodies.”

“These are not ghosts,” Von said. “Ghosts can’t take bodies. What sort of Pandora’s box have you opened here?”

“Hey, I didn’t open it.”

She nodded and I doubt she believed me. “I will make the bodies go away for one hundred dollars each. That is a bargain rate. It’s a simple spell.”

“That’s over twelve thousand dollars.”

“I take Visa and MasterCard.” She pulled out her iPhone. “I even have an app so I can charge you right here and now.”

“That’s too much.”

“In that case, Mr. Shade, have fun with the dead people.” She moved past me toward the SUV.

“They’ll just get more bodies,” I said.

“I can destroy those for one hundred dollars each too.”

“I can’t afford that.”

“Then you’re wasting my time.”

“Hey, I saved DGI from Ravenwood. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“As I understand it, you had help.”

“Fine. My friends and I handled it when you guys couldn’t or wouldn’t.”

“Have your friends help you here.”

I walked over to Von. I was extremely proud that I didn’t look over my shoulder to see if she’d released the dead folks. I figured as long as she was there, Von wouldn’t let them approach. I was also trying to suggest a level of trust I didn’t really feel. She did work for DGI, after all. They aren’t exactly the poster children for ethical behavior. I lowered my voice so Miranda wouldn’t be able to hear us.

“I think this is blowback from helping you guys out. They’re after one of my friends.”

“What’s your friend’s name?”

“I’d rather not say. Names have power.”

“Is your friend dead?”

“No.”

“Then I couldn’t do anything with the name.”

“I’m a little concerned about speaking the name anyway. Especially when so many of the dead folks are in such close proximity.”

“What’s your point, Mr. Shade?”

“Can you cut me a deal here? I have seven thousand dollars clear on my credit card. You can make the charge, but in exchange for that, I want you to cast a spell that will disintegrate all the dead bodies in Colorado and the surrounding areas and do something to prevent the freshly dead from being used.”

She laughed. “Do you have any idea what kind of power that would take?”

“Not nearly as much as you want me to believe. You and your team could handle it with no trouble at all.”

“The entire state? Not a chance.”

“Fine. How about just the metro area and the front range? It’s just a question of casting a spell to destroy the bodies in the morgues and cemeteries.”

“It would be improper.”

“It would earn you seven thousand dollars.”

“How do you think grieving families would feel to have their loved ones dissolved?”

“How would they like it if their loved ones sat up during the funeral?”

“These corpses are merely a nuisance. They aren’t particularly dangerous.”

“Tell that to my car.”

“Seven thousand dollars is a paltry sum.”

“It’s all I have.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What’s the matter? Can’t you do it?”

“I have nothing to prove to you, Mr. Shade. A spell like what you want would run at least a hundred thousand dollars.”

“Too rich for my blood. Fine. I’ll take you back to DGI. Give me a minute.”

I turned away from her and walked toward the throng of corpses.

“If you give her to us, we’ll let you live,” one of the dead guys said.

“If I tell you where she is, will you go away?” I said loud enough for Von to hear.

“What are you doing?” Von asked. “If you aren’t paying me, you need to take me back to the office.”

“Be right with you, Von,” I said over my shoulder. “I’m just going to let these fine dead folks know that their target is hiding out at your office building. No worries.”

“Where is the office?” one of the dead folks asked.

“Don’t you dare answer that!” Von said.

“You can’t hide her forever,” I said. “They’re going to find her eventually whether or not I tell them where you have her.”

“We don’t have her. I don’t even know who she is!”

I glanced at the dead lady before me. “She’s lying. Von here works at a place called DGI. It stands for Dragon Gate Industries. They have a gateway in the corridors beneath their building that leads to other dimensions and—”

“Shut up, Mr. Shade!” Von was pissed now. I guess I wasn’t done being a dick.

“—their building is in the Tech Center. Should I give you their address, or can you follow the energy pattern that surrounds the gate?”

“We can find it.”

Von stepped forward. Five seconds later, her hands glowed something fierce. She lashed out at the line of dead people. I was in the way, but magic doesn’t affect me. I don’t think this magic would have affected me regardless since I’m not dead, and Von didn’t seem to expect it to do anything to me.

The dead people staggered backward.

I turned to look at the closest guy. His face bubbled then melted like that guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark. He dropped to his knees, and his clothes burst into flame. The rest of the bodies suffered the same fate. I glanced back at Von, who made a sweeping gesture with her arms. My gaze returned to the dead people just in time to see their skeletons shatter and crumble to dust.

The entire thing took perhaps fifteen seconds.

Von strode up to me and stabbed me in the chest with her forefinger. “You, sir, are a Grade-A asshole.”

“Be that as it may,” I said, “you could have simply agreed to my price.”

“You planned this from the start.”

Actually it had only occurred to me when her price was too high, but I knew better than to say that. Far better to let her think I was smarter and more calculating, so I simply smiled and said, “I’d better get you back to the office. You’ll want to launch that spell soon or you’ll have a real problem with dead people crashing your party.”

“Fine. At least tell me who they’re looking for.”

“It’s best if you don’t know.”

She glared at me.

I kept smiling and headed back to the SUV. As I started the truck, I wondered if any of my neighbors witnessed the destruction of all those corpses. If so, I’d tell them it was a test of special effects for that movie. In a few days, their mundane lives would bury the magic, and they wouldn’t remember it or they’d think it was a dream.

That was probably a good thing.