‘Ok, see you later,’ I say and close the phone.
I didn’t tell Liam
why
I
so desperately
have to see him,
and I know he must think it’s
something to do with Terry,
something to do with Mum.
In a way
it is
because if it weren’t for Terry
I’d never have tried
to run away.
I’d never have been
in that place
with Nicu.
‘My flat’s not far,’ I say.
‘Let’s go there first
and change
so we don’t get clocked.
Quickly.’
I never knock on the front door,
but I do today,
to make sure Terry’s not about.
Mum opens it and before she can talk out loud
I slam my hand against her mouth.
‘Is he out?’ I hiss.
She nods.
‘Come on, Nicu.’
We slide past her into the hall.
‘What’s going on?’ Mum asks.
She is staring at Nicu,
at his blood-spattered hands,
his face streaked with tears and sweat.
‘Cape off. Trainers off,’ I tell Nicu.
‘And you have to change those trousers.
Mum, you got anything he can wear?
Anything Terry won’t notice is gone?
When will he be back?
Did he say?
Is he out for the day?
Mum!’
She puts her hands over her eyes
and starts to cry.
‘What’s happened? What’s going on?’
She takes Nicu by the arm.
‘Who are you?’ she screams,
like we’ve time for her hysterics.
‘Help us or piss off,’ I shout.
She runs to the kitchen and comes back
clutching a spray and cloth.
She picks up Nicu’s trainers and starts to
wipe away the blood.
‘I’ll be back in a sec,’
I tell them
and dash into Mum’s room,
where I rifle through Terry’s stuff
until I find a pair of
tracksuit bottoms
and a T-shirt
that’ll fit Nicu.
We might be OK,
I think.
We might get out of here,
get to Liam’s place,
keep our heads low for a while
and finally make it out of London
where we’ll be free,
all of this behind us,
all of this a stupid bad dream,
a new life.
Mum has finished wiping
Nicu’s trainers
and he’s just standing there,
sort of shaking,
staring into the distance,
being useless.
I click my fingers in front of his face.
‘Stay cool,’ I say. ‘Don’t go all weird.’
‘OK,’ he says. ‘I try.’
I hold out the tracksuit bottoms.
‘Go into the bathroom and
put those on.
You’ve got one minute.’
He nods and disappears.
The door clunks shut.
I bolt to my room
and pull out something completely
different to wear plus
a cap to cover my hair.
Mum has followed me in.
‘What have you done?’ she whispers.
‘Oh, Jess, what the hell have you two done?’
I want to confide in her,
this woman who loves me more
than anyone in the world,
but before I can,
the room door rattles
and
Terry
is there,
standing and
watching us.