I know I was young
cos I couldn’t
work Terry’s phone properly.
I took a ten second video of my own face
before he snatched it back.
‘Are you stupid? This. Here. The red button.’
He hadn’t beaten Mum up,
just given her a toothbrush and told her
to clean the toilet
while he watched.
But then he got bored,
wanted to see the end of some Spurs match,
so that’s when he had the idea to give me his phone,
to record it,
save the memory of Mum on her knees.
‘And next time the bathroom’s a pigsty,
I’ll make you clean it with your tongue,’ he warned her.
Mum didn’t answer.
She just nodded
and reached for the bleach.
‘Record until she’s done,’ he told me. ‘Got it?’
‘Yeah,’ I said,
and as he left the bathroom
Mum glanced up at me,
and I knew then that Terry had forced
me to be on his side,
leaving Mum on the other,
leaving Mum alone.
I knew right then
that Terry had found a
very important
role for me.