The guilt give me goosebump.
For cash in my pocket,
for destroying dreams of Mămică and Tata.
Also
for stealing Tata’s
treasure coat,
the one he wear to village festivals.
But here is cold and chilling most of times,
raining and greying every day,
so
I needing
this
treasure coat for my own.
Jess make joke when
she see treasure coat first time
but that is OK
because
big part of her is piss-taker.
Her eyes wide open when I show my cash.
She tell me I am
superhero.
But I am greedy –
I want
handsome, smart superhero
AND
gentle kissing,
lip locking,
hand hugging.
Now, that would be
amazing.
We don’t do any tender stuff.
No time.
We go quick
away.
But
it not so easy.
Sometimes London North
is too small enough
and we can’t be
alone.
And we not alone
because everyone school bunk today.
Dan and his crew –
Punk Rock Hair,
Fat Belly
and
Neck Muscle –
bump us in street.
When seeing crew
Jess tight squeeze my arm.
‘Shit,’ she say.
I feel all her finger press me.
Crew come close.
I pulling her stiff to me.
Body guard her.
‘Don’t worry, Jess,’ I say. ‘I protect.’
My hand wrap around,
pressuring her waist.
I am Jess steel suit.
‘You not worry, I have you,’ I say.
Crew come close.
‘No, you leave this to me, Nicu,’ Jess say.
This is what I understanding:
‘All right, Jess?’
‘What you doing with that little thief?’
‘Where you going?’
This is what I also understanding:
‘Pikey twat.’
‘Immigrant wanker.’
‘Smack him.’
Crew do circle on me again,
so near
I smell the pong of booze and smoke.
‘Leave him alone, Dan,’ Jess say in terror voice.
‘You stay out of this,’ Dan say.
‘Slapper,’ Fat Belly say.
‘Gyppo lover,’ Punk Rock Hair say.
‘Gyppo shagger more like,’ Muscle Neck say.
Too many laughing.
People in street
seeing,
hearing,
witnessing,
but flick eyes on ground and
quick step past circle.
It just me and my Jess.
Alone on tiny Island.
With no person to
save us.
Dan flick Jess hair,
come close to her ear.
Very close.
Too close.
His mouth, her ear.
He make whisper.
Jess pull back.
‘Fuck off, Dan, will you?’ she say.
Her hand squash me more harder.
‘Come on, Nicu.’
And we fast walk to small street,
away from crew,
away from whispers.
To leave the noise behind.
But Dan and crew don’t to leave.
They follow.
Behind us in silence street.
We walk quicker.
They speed follow.
We stay in silent.
They don’t quiet.
We don’t run.
They move so fast to be in front of us.
All bodies stop.
I hear words I half understanding:
‘Plunge the prick.’
‘Yeah, go on, Dan.’
‘Right in his fucking eye.’
And this boy, Dan,
who
I have never did hurting to
ever,
listen to these wordings.
He listen well good
because
he pull sheen blade from behind jeans.
Jess does banshee scream.
I feel fire
and fear at same time.
Blade come to me fast rapid.
I dance
jerk back
slip slide
touch
tap
wrestling days back.
My hand go deep in Tata’s treasure coat.
I feel for my Swiss Army,
my protect.
Shuffle feet
left
right
reveal my own blade slash.
One
two
like in movies.
The wild man take my body
to crazy land.
I see target,
hard advance,
charge,
arm straight,
lunge,
plunge.
My protect
rips
deep
in and
out.
And it sink softly.
Stab happen in an eye blink:
Dan falling,
crew frozen,
Jess calling
my name,
and
us
running …
running …
running …