Terry knocks on my bedroom door
like a real gentleman,
like someone you could trust.
Funny that,
cos
with the same knuckles
he knocks Mum out.
Flat.
‘Yeah?’ I say.
He puts his head around the door.
‘What you up to?’ he asks.
I hold up a sock.
‘Nothing. Just sorting some stuff out.’
What I don’t tell him is that I’m packing,
getting out of here,
taking a train somewhere – anywhere – with Nicu,
and sticking two fingers up to him and
waving goodbye to life here.
On the bed I’ve got a pile of clothes:
trainers,
grey knickers,
jeans
and a hoodie.
Plus, every single thing I own that I might get a few
quid for:
a couple of old phones,
a hair straightener,
gold earrings Liam got me one Christmas.
‘Where’s your mum?’ Terry asks.
His voice is sort of sing-songy,
chipper,
but I can tell from his twitching temples
he’s about to explode.
‘Dunno,’ I tell him,
which is true.
I haven’t seen her since yesterday.
She wasn’t up when I left for school,
and the house was empty when I got home.
And cold.
My gut starts to flip.
Did she leave?
Did she clear off without me?
Before me?
‘Can you see now why I get so mad with her?’
Terry asks.
His fist flexes.
Oh, God,
if Mum doesn’t come back maybe I’ll get it.
Maybe I’ll be the one with a broken rib
and bruises where no one can see them.
‘She probably went to Asda,’ I say.
‘Then why’s her phone off?’ he asks,
like I should know.
‘Dunno,’ I say again
and shrug.
‘Want a cup of tea?’
I add,
because that’s how Mum diverts him –
with food and drink,
and sex sometimes.
Keys rattle in the front door.
‘Hello?’
It’s her.
She hasn’t left at all.
And I take a deep breath,
relief,
until Terry marches into the hall,
his feet hard on the floor.
I follow.
His fingers seize Mum’s wrist
and he puts his face so close to hers
their noses touch.
And then,
very gently,
he presses his lips to her lips and kisses her.
He kisses
and kisses
and kisses.
‘Shall we put a bottle of wine in the fridge
and watch a film tonight, love?’
he asks.
‘Sure,’ she whispers.
Terry turns to me.
‘You still here?’
I squeeze my own hands into fists
and go back to my room to finish packing.