Chapter Five

 

 

 

Sara poured the steaming ziti she’d prepared for dinner into a bowl and tossed it lightly with olive oil and garlic, added the chopped basil and grated parmesan, then slid it all onto her plate. The aroma rolling off it was so good her mouth watered. She’d forgotten lunch and hadn’t had time to grab something from the cafeteria with the other teachers.

The sharp knock on the door startled her into almost wearing her dinner. She quickly straightened the plate and set it down on her kitchen table before she did end up covered in deliciousness. One glance at the time showed it was almost seven-thirty. No one ever came over, so she wasn’t sure what to do with an unwanted visitor this time of night.

Answer the door, obviously.

Yeah, that’s a problem. Answering the door meant the possibility of someone wanting inside.

She walked over and peeked past the sheer curtain, wishing she’d gotten a house with a solid door, not this window in the middle thing where anyone could see she was home.

At first, no one was there, then William Bryson stepped into view.

Wyoming came back in one sharp smack in the face. He’d been there. He’d seen her right after… He’d driven her to a hotel, but there been a tension in his body she knew all too well… She shut that thought down and focused on breathing.

He nodded stiffly then did the strangest thing. He smiled. He’d never smiled at her before—at least he hadn’t the two times she’d been near enough to him. It was a forced, uneasy thing that didn’t reach his eyes. Maybe that’s because I’m standing here staring at him.

After taking a breath, she dropped the curtain, zipped up her oversized gray hoodie, then tucked loose wisps of hair behind her ears and settled her nerves. She’d showered the scent of fear off her body, but at the reality she had to face a man sweat blossomed on her forehead and made her hands clammy.

Get it together. Say hi and send him off.

She cracked the door open, but left the chain on. “Hi, uh, William, right?”

“Yeah, you remember me.” He frowned at the door, then her. “Can I come in?”

“Uh, no, I mean, I’m not dressed for company.” How corny did that sound? “Maybe you could come back tomorrow?” She never let anyone in the house. The mere idea of this big, handsome solider in her space scared her enough she clenched the door knob. He was tall, but then she wasn’t, so most people were tall to her. She had to tip her head to meet his eyes and steel herself to keep eye contact.

“I’m sick. The flu you know?” She coughed which allowed her to avoid him directly. The first full impact of him—here—made her dizzy. She’d once laughed at Paris for saying she’d fallen in love with David on sight. But one glance at William and all those confusing longings she’d felt over the past six months, all centered on him, returned. She’d always been able to walk away, let go when she knew she couldn’t win, or if she thought she could win, go for it. She’d had her heart broken once. It helped her only give a little, and to only expect a little, too. But with William she’d been too scared to even think about trying to see where the interest in his eyes would lead them.

“Oh, damn. Sorry to hear that. I’m only in town for a little while. I thought I’d stop by, say hi. Invite you to dinner, but if you’re sick, I can get you something. Cold meds, maybe?” He smiled briefly again—a charming, lady-killer expression that probably dropped more panties than Justin Bieber ever could.

Her mouth went dry but her cheeks moistened in that I’m going to throw up way she’d grown to know so intimately these past few months.

Get it together. Speak! “Oh, I have what I need, thank you.” She put enough roughness in her voice so she sounded like a pack a day cigarette smoker. She coughed loudly into her fist for good measure.

His expression turned concerned with the right amount of pleading as he pressed a hand to the door to keep it slightly open.

“Hey, that sounds bad. How about I go get a movie and something for that cough? I’m a pretty strong guy. I’m certain you can’t hurt me. A nice night with company might be the cure you need.”

The thing about what she’d been through was that now, when she met a man, she could see things she wouldn’t have noticed before. Like when a guy was laying on the bullshit. William’s sincerity was lost on her because more than twice his gaze had lowered to her breasts, checking her out so smoothly she wouldn’t have noticed if she’d not been hyper aware of every minor detail of him. She could even see the sly way he slid his hand up the door so he could lean in, closer so he was within inches of her face to say, “I bet I have ways to take your mind off your ailments that will get you back to right in no time.”

She wasn’t taking him up on that bet. He hadn’t been this way before. He’d barely spoken to her and had seemed relieved to drop her off. She shut down those memories and focused on getting him off her porch.

“You’re sweet to offer,” she managed to say, and smiled as brightly as she could. “But I wouldn’t want to give you anything—”

“You can give me anything you want,” he murmured, as if right on cue. “I’ve been worried about you, to be honest, but you’re as beautiful as ever.”

The suave line jangled on her nerves, making her want to shut the door and slide down it to hug herself. Then shower again.

All she managed to do was keep the smile firmly in place and hope it was sincere enough to make him take her no for a no.

“Thanks, really, but I have to get some rest. Maybe tomorrow?”

He shocked her by laughing softly as if he couldn’t believe she was turning him down.

“Aw, really? I drove for hours, and found your place after a few more for this tiny side street no one seems to put on a map.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. That sounds terrible, but I think you should go.” Her voice came out stronger. He must have heard her conviction because he narrowed his eyes and stood taller, dropping the arm he’d been leaning on to get closer to her.

“Tell Paris I’m fine. I’ll even call her. Good seeing you.” She shut the door quick-like when he opened his mouth. As soon as it was closed she threw the bolt lock and leaned against the kitchen wall next to the door and held her breath.

Her lungs protested the lack of oxygen but she waited until she could hear William’s heavy footsteps receding from her porch before she moved. She thought he grumbled a little, but she didn’t try to understand the muffled words.

“God! So stupid. So stupid. He probably thinks I’m a complete bitch!” She whispered the words but they echoed through the empty house and mocked her with their truthfulness.

Does it matter? I’ll never see him again, and that’s a good thing, right? A soft sob broke past her control. If only he could help me, keep me safe and…be here because he was worried about me, because he did care.

He’d come on strong, much stronger than she would have ever guessed from the stern, silent solider who’d driven her to a hotel—twice. She’d been frightened of him then, so scared she’d been unable to fill the silence with useless chatter to relieve the tension. He hadn’t either.

But this time was…different. He acts like I’m some kind of booty call. Why? Because he thinks I am. She shut her eyes and fisted her hands. Why would he think that? Why wouldn’t he? You were in Wyoming for a man you’d never met, to have a fun weekend with a man you’d only talked online with… But I thought Derek liked me, like-liked me.

And I was wrong—again.

Maybe he’s in town on business and Paris sent him over. Maybe he’s been drinking and was lonely… Maybe I shouldn’t make excuses for his asshole behavior.

Kill two birds with one stone, isn’t that the way it goes? Go check on a girl for a friend and see about getting laid while in town on business. Isn’t that the way of it?

Heck that’s three birds, one stone. Even better.

She covered her mouth with both hands to hold in the crazy-sounding laugh that escaped. Unable to stop, she crumpled to the floor and tried hard to keep in the flood of useless tears, but they fell quicker than she did.

Do not fall apart. Breathe. Just breathe.

“Big jerk. What did he think? He would stop in and I’d be so turned on by him showing interest in me, I’d tear my clothes off? That I’d fall all over myself to let him in since he drove for hours?” She hit her knee with her fist but even that didn’t help. “Why are men like this?”

They can’t all be.

The flip flop of her emotions—from fear to anger—was going to make puking a reality.

Resting her face on her knees she concentrated on getting her breathing under control. When her heartbeat steadied she lifted her head and wiped her face with her sweatshirt sleeves.

I’m so tired of the bad ones. So very, very tired of the bad ones, but maybe that’s all I’ll ever attract, men that want what they see but only for some fun.

“No. I’m not going to believe that.” She swallowed, hating the way her voice shook. “I thought William was different, though.” She pushed to her feet. Obviously, he wasn’t. “Stupid.”

The smell of her pasta made her nauseous. There wasn’t a chance of eating it. Not now. She picked up the plate and tossed her dinner into the trash, watching as the noodles slid off like worms and landed with a wet plop.

Why am I so upset? Because he’s another example of men who think with nothing more than the head below their belts?

Brushing her tears off, she knew why. I thought William was one of the good guys.