12
Getting Off the Grid

Unplugging is all about quality of life, however you define it. Is that an afternoon of delicious unbroken sleep or an hour of yoga, windsurfing, or basketball? This chapter explores time off the grid as an opportunity to more fully engage in our lives on the one hand and to achieve deeper relaxation on the other. You are encouraged to schedule downtime right on your calendar, so you can periodically unplug and refresh. What do you want from your day off?

the chance to slow down and relax
unstructured time to catch up with yourself
a space where relationships can flourish
replenishing energy for peak performance and productivity
embarking on an adventure
studying something new, like learning a language
being creative, doing something you love

The risks of always being “on.” The new 24/7 connectivity to coworkers and to our personal social networks means that there is little time out to reflect, to digress, to concentrate, or to integrate our thoughts. Information is continuously being flooded through our visual and auditory world. Life becomes similar to the news cycle. Each news item replaces the previous one. Temporary memory is continuously updated and replaced by new information. Much of that information is temporary and is never stored in long-term memory. The more information we sequentially experience, the less integrated it becomes. Instead of depth, the rapid surface flow of information and experience replaces the deeper analytical and emotional meanings.

A chance to catch your breath. Modern life can be complicated, so complicated at times that it’s almost painful. Having a calm inner life allows a smoother navigation of the demands and expectations placed on us. Taking time for your own life provides the opportunity to problem solve, to think through important issues, and to develop strategies for coping. We need time to engage with the people we care about, to tune in to reality, to the world around us, without our devices. We can use time off the grid to hold onto what’s best about being human.

Increased energy. Time off reduces the drain on your energy from overstimulation. Since the human brain is incapable of shutting out various stimuli, in order to rest we have to create those opportunities. On the most basic level, our responses are based on our available energy. Relaxation and regeneration strategies are key to our energy and our quality of life. When work demands more energy than we have at the moment, we may become exhausted and our moods are negatively affected. We need time for rest and renewal, to heal aching muscles from physical wear and tear. We also need the opportunity to recover from emotional stress and mental exertion.

Digital media seems like the ultimate escape, but in reality, it is virtual. What you need is a real escape.

Better sleep. Checking in with digital media just before sleep increases our arousal. Instead of slowing down and drifting toward sleep, we may become intellectually and emotionally excited by the emails, texts, or social media updates—it could remind us of past or upcoming conflicts and challenges, personally, professionally, or culturally. (See chapter 11 for more suggestions.)

The normal process of consolidating and storing memory takes place during sleep, so when we’re short on sleep, there’s less opportunity to store memory. We need the opportunity to free flow, in order to integrate our experiences. Relaxation supports quality of life and quality sleep. As the Spanish proverb says, “How delicious it is to sleep after resting.”

Time for movement and exercise. Although you may not think of walking, yoga, or tai chi as exercise, these practices can effectively strengthen and nourish the body and clear the mind. In addition, recent research has shown that regular exercise is absolutely critical to maintain good health. Unplugging will give you the time to enjoy physical activity without feeling rushed or pressured.

Opportunity to gain a clearer sense of yourself. Time off the grid provides a chance to tune in to your own inner life and appreciate yourself, to be comfortable in your own mind, in your skin, and to value yourself. In a sense this time can be a form of energetic detox. This is a chance to reclaim your mind and body, and reclaim your own personal boundaries.

Being present in your most important relationships. There is value in having the time to nurture the relationships that are most vital to you. Being fully present with those you love is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give. Similarly, when you spend time with your dog, truly be with them. Animals profoundly sense whether you are present or not. This is the underlying source of joy and richness in your relationships.

Reduced exposure to EMF. Electromagnetic fields (EMF) from Wi-Fi, phones, computers, television sets, microwave ovens, and smoke detectors are all sources of nonionizing electromagnetic energy. The risk is higher the closer the device is to the body and the higher the intensity of the source. We’re also exposed to electromagnetic radiation via high-voltage power lines, power company smart meters, cell phone towers, and automobile dashboards (as well as traveling by air). Higher levels of EMF have been associated with oxidative stress, a factor implicated in the development of cancer. Reducing EMF exposure lowers the drain on your energy and reduces the risks associated with radiation damage. (See chapter 25 for more on minimizing EMF exposure.)

Creativity. Scheduling a block of unstructured time provides the space for unexpected insight and creativity; this can enable you to tap deep inner resources. That’s when the creative flashes, the moments of genius and joy can occur. Surprisingly, true creativity is a learned skill. Like a meditation practice, if you don’t allow the space for it, it may not occur. Create the openness, the opportunity for your creativity to emerge and flourish.

How Observing the Sabbath Saved Me from a Coronary

David was a gifted lawyer with a background in public policy and constitutional law. He was thrilled when President Kennedy tapped him as a key member of his transition team soon after the election. Growing up in a Jewish family in New York, he observed Shabbat at home, and attended temple services periodically, but had never been strictly observant. However, knowing the incredible demands a job in the White House would place on him, he joined an orthodox temple in Washington, DC. Being observant meant no use of machinery on Saturday, which translated into no phone calls from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday, and no driving into the office at 8 a.m. Saturday morning. Ultimately, he benefited in a number of ways. His faith deepened, he was able to avoid the coronary that had taken his father’s life, and he only had to work ninety-hour weeks.

What You Can Do for Rest and Repair

Ideally, you want a series of strategies to restore your energy, to nurture your attention, and to create a sense of mindfulness.

Unplug daily.

Be unplugged while you’re driving to be able to attend to the road.
Unplug when you’re walking. Be alert and aware of your surroundings; that means periodically looking over your shoulder, and walking purposefully. That way you can respond quicker to any sign of mischief, and you are less likely to be a victim of crime. Clearly, that also means staying off your phone.
Go off the grid when you go out to dinner, or spend time with family or friends. Plan unplugged time with your kids.

Get off the grid nightly. Turn off all electronic displays about thirty minutes to an hour before going to bed to allow your normal sleep cycle to occur. As an anecdotal note about students in class, when asked for a show of hands about media use before bed, we have observed some general patterns: More than a third of students spend one to three hours watching media in some form before going to sleep. The majority use their smartphone in bed before sleeping, which they report affects their sleep negatively.

Take one day off each week.

Many of the world’s great religions stipulate a day of peace, when one abstains from work. Whatever your belief system, schedule one day each week to totally disconnect.
Take kids outside without access to any screen time as a way to facilitate creativity and self-sufficiency instead of dependence on technology.

Up your productivity.

The goal throughout the book is to work smarter rather than harder.
While working on a specific task, shut off all electronic media not needed for that task. Turn off email and your smartphone. This allows in-depth focus and greater productivity.
Schedule specific times to read and answer emails, voicemail, and text messages.

Maximize quality time.

Hold face-to-face meetings while taking a walk.
Disconnect while spending time with friends or dining out. Be completely present to the person you are with. Put all emails, texts, and phone calls on hold unless needed in case of emergency. Sit over dinner or walk with friends and share your experiences in depth with each other. Share stories.

Go for balance. If your job is sedentary, your R&R may begin with exercise that relaxes you. If your job is physically demanding, you’ll want to be less active and use your downtime for relaxation and rest. If you experience mental stress in your job, consider quiet techniques such as meditation. On the other hand, if you experience emotional stress (for example, overwhelming time pressures or the challenges of customer service), consider physical activity.

Set limits. In many parts of Europe such as Holland, the weekends are considered family time, and people honor that time together. Employers are not allowed to contact workers during their personal time. The tendency to live longer is associated with having more cohesive family life, whether the family is a biological family or an assumed family. Setting limits and carving out family time can be challenging and often require a supportive network to reinforce those limits. However, creating quality home life or family time is ultimately worth the effort.

Participate in religious worship and family gatherings. In the past, religion and family provided many of the opportunities for personal regeneration. If either of these resources is available in your life, consider those times possible opportunities to restore your energy.

Schedule break time. Enter your breaks right into your calendar.

Track how you use your time. Inventory your schedule to gain a sense of what’s working. You may also want to begin by establishing a baseline—where does your time actually go? What did you do, how, where, and when? And what do you want to do differently? Also remember to build in vacations when possible.

Catch up on sleep. When changing habits, think strategically. If you move your TV, tablet, and laptop out of the bedroom, you’re less tempted to stay up watching the late show (see chapter 11).

Deepen your quality of life. Drawing inspiration from the lifestyle of the ancients, the hunters and gatherers:

Spending time outdoors. This could mean walking in the woods, by a creek, or by the ocean, or walking, period. Stargazing, watching the sunrise or the sunset, watching the sky. Observing birds or wildlife, foraging. Hiking, climbing, camping, fishing, hunting, canoeing, kayaking, rafting, sailing, swimming.
Working with wood, stone, or soil. Gardening, chopping wood, or landscaping, all with hand tools rather than power tools. Ancient crafts: making pottery, weaving, the dyer’s art, building things with wood, making clothing, working with leather or fiber.
Gatherings. Community can encompass anything from communal cooking to festivals, drumming, singing with or without accompaniment, or playing instruments.
Touch. Bathing, giving or receiving a massage, dancing.
Caregiving. Caring for the very young, the very old, those who are homeless or ill, and for animals.
Escaping into silence. For a day, turning off the media. Just for twenty-four hours, attuning yourself to the day. You even have the option, if you wish, of arising and going to bed with the sun.

Experience It: Explore the Effect of Setting Time Limits on Media Use

This exercise explores quality of life. Stop social media interruptions, reduce cell phone calls, and observe what happens. What happens when you reduce your cell phone use?

For a few days, begin by observing how you use your cell phone and how much you watch media.
Keep a record of each time you use your phone for texting and calling, how often you look at your phone for social media updates (WhatsApp, Signal, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, TikTok, Slack, Reddit, LinkedIn, and so on), and how often you feel the desire to check your phone during other activities. For example, do you think about your phone while you’re working, at dinner, or when you’re with friends? Also, rate your energy level, productivity, and the level of emotional connection you feel with (1) friends, (2) family, and (3) coworkers when you are distracted by media.
Begin the experiment by creating time periods off the grid when you don’t use your phone to text, email, or read notifications—in other words, media-free time. This also means reducing the amount of time you spend watching films and other media. Let all your colleagues, friends, and family know that you are not available to respond to emails, text messages, social media updates, or tweets during specific time periods.
Let them know that you will be available between specific time periods such as 4 p.m. to 6 p.m., or whatever time periods you decide, and you will respond then to emails and texts.
In addition, when you are with people face-to-face having lunch, sitting down to dinner, or taking a walk, turn off your cell phone so you can really be truly present.
Rate your energy level, productivity, and the level of emotional connection when you’re with friends, family, and coworkers.
Implement this plan for one week and observe how you feel compared to how you felt earlier.

Response from a study participant: Initially I felt lonely and wanted to keep checking my phone; however, by the third day, I found myself feeling more connected to my friends. When we talked, I was really with them, really present, instead of continuously trying to check my phone for messages. I had so much more time, and I was much more productive, and I think my sleep was also better too.

Observations from Erik and Rick: In our experience, most people found that their coworkers respected their decision and contacted them during the time period they had requested. Many people report that initially, they wanted to keep checking their phone to see what was going on. However, this urgency was rapidly reduced because they knew there was a prearranged time when they could check in on media.