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One Year Later
“You got it?” Casey gripped the other side of the antique armoire and hollered to Nicole, who’d spent the previous hour nearly catatonic in the bathroom and was, therefore, not the most trustworthy partner to move such a large and heavy object.
“I got it,” Nicole half-lied as she lifted her part of the armoire. Casey lurched backward toward the door, and Nicole limped after her. The armoire had belonged to Jane, their mother, before it had spent the previous twenty years in the house she and Michael had shared.
Casey, ever the older sister, had rented a moving truck for the occasion. Nate hovered outside of the entrance, surrounded by his suitcases. His cheeks were blotchy with sorrow, but as he was now seventeen, he refused to cry in front of anyone. Abby had moved to college the previous year and had spent the entire summer away for an internship. She’d hand-selected the items she’d wanted to take with her and told her mother to sell or donate the rest. When Abby had learned of the divorce, she hadn’t called her mother for two weeks. Nate had said Abby wanted to “deal with the burden alone,” but in Nicole’s mind, Abby wanted to punish her. Nicole had allowed her marriage to crumble. Again, Nicole took the blame on her shoulders.
“You ready, bud?” With the armoire in place in the moving truck, along with multiple boxes, countless suitcases, and several other pieces of antique furniture that Nicole couldn’t part with, they were nearly ready to depart.
Nate’s chin quivered as he gazed up at the large house. Nicole wanted to wrap her arm around him and console him but held herself back. Here in the driveway, she felt the years cascade over her: Nate, taking his first steps, Abby, rollerskating up and down the driveway, Michael, mowing the lawn. All of it belonged to another era.
Casey drove the moving truck while Nicole and Nate followed behind in Nicole’s ancient minivan. Nate was listless. He hunted through radio stations until he finally turned the thing off.
“I just don’t get why we have to stay with Aunt Casey,” he finally said.
Nicole’s cheeks burned. She hadn’t told him everything. How could she, without making Michael a total villain and painting a terrible portrait of herself?
“It’s just for the time being,” she told him. “You have your own room, and it’s just a street away from Kevin’s place. You’ll hardly be home.”
Kevin was one of Nate’s best friends. Still, this was barely a consolation prize for Nate losing everything he’d ever known. His father had moved to Boston, for God’s sake. His new girlfriend was pregnant with Nate’s soon-to-be half-brother. It was a whirlwind.
Nate knew about the baby. He knew about Boston and the new girlfriend, Michelle. But he still didn’t know that, in the wake of all the horrible news, Nicole had squandered her career, nearly lost her mind, and ultimately been let go from her marketing executive position.
“You can’t hold down these clients given everything you’ve been through,” her boss had said. “We’re sorry, Nicole. We wish you well.”
Before they reached Casey’s, they stopped at the storage unit. Here, Nicole would keep some of the items she wanted for wherever her next place would be, as Casey didn’t have space for them. Nate, Casey, and Nicole worked tirelessly, playing a real-world game of Tetris to ensure everything had its place. They then returned to their vehicles and drove the rest of the way to Casey’s.
Heather waited for them in the driveway. She wrapped Nicole in a bear hug and said, “I’ve just ordered a couple of large pizzas, so I hope you three are hungry. Kristine, Bella, and Max are on their way, as well.”
“Thank goodness for you,” Casey said as she leaped from the driver’s seat of the moving van.
“I’m just sorry I couldn’t be around earlier,” Heather said sheepishly. She’d had another round of meetings with her publisher about an upcoming series. Heather Harvey Talbot was set to be a global name in the writing world.
“We know you’re too famous for us, now,” Casey teased.
“Just give me something to carry, and I’ll carry it,” Heather instructed.
Nicole hustled up the steps and into Casey’s two-story, colonial house, where she’d lived with her husband, Grant, and their two children for the previous twenty years. Grant was frequently away on business and now was no exception, which meant that Nicole, Casey and Nate would be sort of roommates together in the old, historic home.
Nicole fell into autopilot as she assisted Nate with his bags and settled him into his room, which had previously belonged to Casey’s oldest, Melody. Both Melody and Donnie were away at university, with Melody at the University of Maine and Donnie at the University of Vermont. Casey had said she was tired of her big, empty house. “The more, the merrier.”
“This bed looks nice,” Nicole said as she pressed new sheets over the mattress.
Nate grunted. He assessed the photos Melody had hung on the far end of the bedroom, posters of bands Nate didn’t like and friends Nate would never know.
“I wish Abby were here,” Nate said suddenly, surprising Nicole to the core.
Nicole dropped her hands to her sides. “I know. Me too.”
“She called me last night,” Nate said finally. “Told me how mad she is— at both of you.”
Nicole nodded somberly. This was confirmation of what she’d already assumed.
“It’s for the best,” she said, which was something she’d told herself over and over again since she’d discovered Michael’s affair. “Really. For everyone.”
“If you say so,” Nate returned.
Nate ate four slices of pizza and then headed into the haze of the late evening to meet Kevin. Max returned home to finish up some work. This left Heather, Kristine, Bella, Casey, and Nicole. Nicole scraped her plate clean over the trashcan and listened to the vibrant laughter between Heather, Kristine, and Bella. Her stomach ached with jealousy.
“You okay?” Casey appeared in the kitchen with a stack of dirty plates. She slipped them into the dishwasher one after another.
“I don’t know,” Nicole finally answered. “I really don’t.”
Casey scrubbed her hands clean and poured herself a glass of wine. Nicole did the same.
“You’re going to get back on your feet,” Casey said.
Nicole blinked. She couldn’t envision this process. What did it mean? Probably, getting on antidepressants. Applying to more marketing jobs, all of which she would ultimately hate— getting her own place, maybe an apartment, then moving Nate into school and living out the rest of her days alone.
Michael got a fresh start in Boston. He was going to have a new baby. Why did men always win?
Nicole’s lower lip quivered. “I don’t even know where to start. It feels like a black hole.”
“Oh, honey.” Casey heaved a sigh. “If I could take all this pain away, I would.”
Soon after, Kristine and Bella admitted they needed to return home. It wasn’t long before they would also move away, as both had accepted their admission to New York University. Heather’s eyes glittered with tears after their departure.
“How did you two do it? Let your babies go off to college like that?” Heather whispered after she heard the click of the door closing behind her twins.
Casey and Nicole exchanged glances.
“Nearly killed me, to be honest,” Casey affirmed. “I had to find different things to do. All those years, I was worried about lunches, dinners, homework, school supplies, and hockey events. Now, I’m lucky if they call me once a week.”
Nicole sipped much more of her wine than she should have. Abby hadn’t called her in weeks. Would she and Abby ever repair their relationship? Or would they be like those mothers and daughters who were eventually like strangers, sitting at coffee shops without a single thing to say?
“But I’ve meant to ask you, Nic,” Heather said then, her hands spread out on the table. “We’re going to have that little party before the girls leave for the city, and I wanted to know if you’d like to plan the menu somehow?”
Since Michael’s birthday the previous year— the day everything had changed, Nicole had been more vocal about her dream of becoming a chef. Something about those hours on August 22nd, prior to the text message from Michelle, had made Nicole feel everything click into place.
But just now, the thought of even sautéing some onions filled Nicole with dread.
She placed her hand around her neck and whispered, “I just don’t know. I think that whole chef thing was a fantasy. It’s not like I have any experience, anyway.”
“You don’t have to have experience. You have a unique talent,” Heather told her. “I still remember some of the dinners you cooked for Aunt Tracy and us back in high school.”
“Yeah. In hindsight, I don’t know why you went into marketing in the first place,” Casey pointed out.
“Why not be a marketer and a part-time chef?” Heather asked. “Before the writing took off for me, I took every job in the book. Remember when I was a valet driver for a while?”
“Or when you worked at the fried chicken place and always smelled like grease,” Casey offered.
Heather scrunched her nose. “My point is that with Michael gone, you can take a good look at your life and where you want it to go next.”
“He’s the most selfish man on the planet,” Casey stated.
Nicole dropped her eyes to the table. A long silence passed between them. Finally, she breathed, “I did love him, though. I did. For the past twenty years, I did everything for him, for our family. And now, I can’t figure out what it was all for.”
Casey pressed her hand over Nicole’s. Heather refilled Nicole’s glass of wine.
“This is a really dark time. But dark times always pass,” Casey told Nicole.
Nicole wasn’t so sure. In her mind, there was no way through this dark time. Perhaps it would last forever.
Heather’s phone buzzed. She gasped, “It’s Aunt Tracy!” She then answered it and called, “Hey Auntie! You’re on speaker.”
“Hi girls! Are you all together tonight?”
“Sure are,” Heather answered brightly. “We’ve got Nicole all moved in, and we just ate our weight in pizza.”
Aunt Tracy chuckled. Nicole’s heart dropped a bit lower in her chest. She’d hated telling Aunt Tracy most of all what had happened with Michael and with her job. Aunt Tracy’s eyes hadn’t reflected disappointment in her, only sorrow. Somehow, that was worse.
“How are you doing, Nicole?” Aunt Tracy asked.
“Just fine,” Nicole lied. “Nate is glad to have his own room, although I think some of the decor that Melody left behind doesn’t suit him.”
“I imagine not,” Aunt Tracy affirmed. “Good that you girls live so close to one another. It’s not such an abrupt change.”
“Are you still coming over tomorrow, Auntie?” Nicole asked. Her voice cracked the slightest bit.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Aunt Tracy said. “I told you, I found those old sweaters of your mother’s. You three should have your pick of them.” She then paused before adding, “I wanted to tell you, Nic. It was a very, very difficult time for your mother when she and your father parted ways.”
Nicole’s already bruised heart felt suddenly blacker. This was an era of her mother’s life she didn’t know much about. In essence, their father, Adam, had been incredibly depressed and hadn’t been able to care for his three daughters. After Adam’s return to Bar Harbor, Jane had needed help and sought it with Aunt Tracy.
“She cried and cried about it,” Aunt Tracy continued. “But she always came back to the same conclusion. Although she loved Adam to pieces, he couldn’t be there for her the way she needed him to be. She flourished after they parted ways. I only wish she were still around to see you take this next step forward, Nicole. I know she would be terribly proud.”